Unspeakable (8 page)

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Authors: Michelle Pickett

Tags: #Juvenile Fiction, #Love & Romance, #Social Issues, #Physical & Emotional Abuse, #Violence

BOOK: Unspeakable
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I narrowed my eyes at her. “What are you talking about?”

“I’m just saying the tables can be reversed.”

I shook my head. “That would require him to become emotionally involved in someone. From what I’ve heard, that doesn’t happen.”

“Okay, so cut out emotions. Just use each other for fun.” Jenna grinned and winked.

“Who are you talking about?”

“You and Brody… keep up.”

I rolled my eyes. “I’m with Jaden. We’ve been over this before. Several times, in fact.”

“Yeah, but you don’t want to be.” I opened my mouth to argue, but Jenna cut me off. “Please don’t try to deny it. I’ve been your best friend for too long. I can tell the spark fizzled on that romance a long time ago. You just stay with him because it’s easier than breaking up with him. But if someone came along that interested you, you’d drop Jaden in a hot second.”

I shrugged a shoulder. “And what makes you think Brody is the guy that interests me? I don’t even like him. And I definitely don’t want a relationship with him considering his reputation.”

“I didn’t say relationship. I said fun. Think of him as your rebound guy. The bad boy we all need before we find the good guy we want a real relationship with.”

“I think you’ve lost your mind,” I told her.

Jenna tapped her bottom lip with her fingernail and stared at me. Finally, she said, “You’re scared.”

“Scared? I am not.”

“Yep, you’ve been with Jaden so long you know what to expect from him. There’s nothing you don’t know about him. You, my friend, are in a rut, and you’re scared to climb out of it. You’re scared of the unpredictable, of losing control.”

“We’re not in a rut. We’re comfortable in our relationship.”

Jenna barked a laugh. “Delude yourself all you want. You need to get your freak on with someone who’ll turn your world upside down. Comfortable is for wusses.”

Monday. I looked through my T-shirts to find one with an appropriate saying for the day. I chose one that said,
I hear voices and they don’t like you
. I thought that would get my message across to Brody. Passive aggressive, but I didn’t care. I slipped into my jeans, pulled a zippered hoodie on, and drove to school.

“Sending a message, I see,” Jenna said when she saw me in the hall. “The question is to whom, Jaden or Brody? Hmm?”

I smiled. “Shut up.”

I walked into biology and sighed. He was already there. “You’re here.” Dropping my books on the table, I plopped in my chair.

“You’re here, too,” Brody said with a hint of a grin.

“I was hoping I’d be alone today,” I muttered.

He frowned. “Why wouldn’t I be here?”

“You know, you could develop a case of malaria or jungle fever or some type of disfiguring disease and wouldn’t be able to come to school for, oh, the rest of the year.” I dropped my head on my books.

He laughed. “Sorry to disappoint.”

I grunted in reply and closed my eyes so I didn’t have to look at him.

Why does he have to look so freakin’ awesome? And smell… wow. I wonder how I can ask what he’s wearing so I can get some for Jaden? Because he smells beyond yummy.

“Did you hear me?” Brody asked.

“Huh?”

“I said it was a good game Friday. I didn’t see you at Jamieson’s afterward. I saw Jaden, though.”

Yeah, I bet you did. I wonder who Jaden hooked up with.

“I didn’t go to the party,” I mumbled.

“Why? Don’t you usually go with Jaden?”

“No.”

“Oh. I thought you’d—”

“Do they ever shut up on your planet?” I snapped. A surprised look crossed his face, and he leaned back from me like I’d hit him. I sighed. “I’m sorry. It’s just, it’s Monday, I haven’t met my caffeine quota for the morning yet, and my head is already pounding. I didn’t mean to snap.”

Yes, I did. I don’t want to talk about the damn party. And I don’t want to talk to you. You’re being… nice. It’s freakin’ me out
.

“No problem. Here.” Brody reached in his backpack, pulled out a Red Bull, and handed it to me. “That should help with your caffeine problem. It might hold you over ’til lunch.”

I sat up straight and immediately felt like the biggest jerk. He was actually being sweet. “Thank you. I need this so bad.” Our fingers brushed when I took the can, and my hand tingled from the contact. My mind wandered to a different time, a different boy, and I tried to remember if I’d ever felt the same sensations with him.

A quiet knock sounded against the door. I opened it immediately. I’d been waiting for him in the living room and saw him drive up.

“Hi.” Jaden smiled down at me. “You look gorgeous.” He pulled his hand from behind his back and showed me a can of Red Bull. Condensation ran down the sides. My throat could already feel the citrusy goodness sliding down it and the punch of energy I’d get to help me navigate my morning classes. Some people drank coffee or tea. I drank Red Bull.

I reached for the can, but Jaden pulled it away. “First a kiss?” he asked softly.

“Always. You don’t have to bring Red Bull for that. But it’s always a good incentive.”

He laughed and gave me the can. “Good to know.” His mouth took mine in a slow, soft kiss. His tongue dipped between my lips. Something in my chest trembled and warmth radiated from it.

Wrapping the arm holding the can around his neck, I fisted my free hand in his shirt. I leaned into him, and he deepened the kiss with a low growl.

Jaden moved his lips from mine and skimmed them along my jaw to my ear. “You’re killing me, Willow. We have to go to school, and all I’ll be able to think about is this kiss and the small sighs you make that drive me freakin’ insane.”

I smiled and cupped his cheek. “I guess Red Bull is right up there with oysters. A great aphrodisiac.”

Jaden nuzzled the curve of my neck a few seconds longer before threading his fingers through mine and pulling me outside to his car.

The memory fizzled, and I remembered I was sitting in my biology class with Brody staring at me. “What?” I asked.

“Oh nothing. I’m just trying to imagine you with a personality.”

So much for being sweet
.

I pushed the unopened Red Bull across the table toward him and gave him a tight smile. Turning my face away, I lay my head back on my books until class started. I managed not to speak to him for the rest of the class period or through English.

It was lunch, and I stood staring at the vending machine when I heard his voice. We hadn’t spoken since the Red Bull incident and, for reasons that confused me, I missed talking to him. 

“I figured I’d find you here,” Brody said behind me, his body so close to mine I could feel the heat radiate off him. His breath moved wisps of my hair. I stepped to the side. “Come to get your caffeine for the day? I’m surprised you made it until lunch without killing someone… or is there a body or two stuffed in the janitor’s closet I don’t know about? You certainly seem to have the demeanor to pull off a homicide when you’re caffeine deprived.” He grinned, his blue eyes sparkling.

Keeping my expression neutral, I turned and stared at him. I let my eyes glide slowly over his face. My breath stalled in my throat and my mouth dried. What started as a sarcastic comment quickly turned into something more. My eyes sucked in his rugged features. Brody was undeniably attractive, but not in a soft, baby faced way. He had a raw sexuality. It showed in the way he carried himself, the way he stood, and the way he gazed at me—intense and knowing. A lock of dark hair fell over his forehead, giving his strong features a small touch of boyishness. My eyes skimmed downward, from his mussed hair to his bright sapphire eyes, framed by thick, black lashes. I took my time memorizing the contours of his high cheekbones and slightly crooked nose, like it’d been broken at some point. I bit my bottom lip when my gaze fell to his full lips that begged me to taste them, and the slight scar on his chin that I wanted to follow with my tongue.

Oh, I need to stop this now. Jaden, Jaden, Jaden… nope, that doesn’t help. Brody. Why does that feel right?

Brody shifted from one foot to the other. “What? No snarky comeback? Did I catch you at a loss for words? This must be a first for you.” There was that amused grin. I was beginning to like it, even if it did irritate me.

His deep—just throaty enough to be sexy—voice grabbed my attention. “Oh, sorry,” I said with a wave of my hand. “I was visualizing duct tape across your mouth.”

His smile widened. “First, you tell me to shut up in class and now you want to duct tape my mouth. I’m beginning to think you don’t like my conversational skills. If I wasn’t so confident and didn’t have a healthy sense of self-esteem, it could really hurt.” He put his hands over his heart.

I shrugged a shoulder. “I don’t mind that you’re talking as long as you don’t mind that I’m not listening.” Putting my money in the machine, I made my purchase and walked away. I heard him chuckle behind me. I couldn’t help but smile on my way to my seat.

Wait… when did trading jabs with him go from dislike to mildly funny
?

“What are you grinning about?” Jenna asked me when I sat down across from her and next to Jaden.

“Nothin’,” I said too quickly, looking at her over the rim of my drink.

“Uh-huh.” She smiled at me before looking across the room at Brody. Seconds later, my phone chimed.

Jenna: He’s looking at you.

Me: He’s not and I don’t care.

Jenna: Yes, he is and yes, you do.

Me: Ugh!

Friday—biology lab. I hated biology labs. I never had a partner, so I had to do double the work. Now Brody was my partner, and I wasn’t sure if labs would be any easier or not. I’d have a partner, but it wasn’t one I particularly liked. Right? Right. I definitely didn’t like him. He was a player. A conceited, self-absorbed bad boy. But… we’d been trading insults back and forth all week and somewhere in there they went from “
I hate you”
to “
you might be tolerable
.”

He called me a bimbo. He’s definitely not a person I’m going to be friends, or anything else, with. We’ll do the assignment and that’s it.

Standing at my closet, I looked through my dozens of shirts to pick out my thought for the day. I loved T-shirts with sayings on them. I usually bought one every time I went to the mall or one of those weird magazines came in the mail with pages and pages full of them. I had a closet full. It didn’t matter what my mood was, I had a shirt to match it. Grabbing a long-sleeved T-shirt, I slipped it on with my jeans. I finished my hair and makeup and drove to school.

“Willow, you’re gonna have to wear a regular shirt one of these days, you know?” Jenna said when she saw me shoving my stuff in my locker.

“Nah, I have dozens of these. I bet I can go six weeks without wearing the same one twice.”

“Let’s not try it. Be normal. Wear something without a sarcastic comment plastered across your boobs.” She grabbed my arm to turn me around and I flinched, sucking a sharp breath through my teeth. Jenna jerked her hand back and looked at me with wide eyes. “What’s wrong?”

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