Unstuck (21 page)

“Wow,” I said as I looked at him. He definitely was thinking about someone. There was no way he could recall those feelings if he had never felt them before. They were specific and nowhere near to what I felt for Brian. Not even close. Complete different universes. “Well, if I am supposed to just know then,” I sighed and continued “I am clueless,” Patrick nodded.

“What are you doing with him then?” he asked with a serious face.

“I want to give myself a chance, Patrick. I want to see what having a relationship is like,” I realized I sounded sad.

“That’s not a relationship. That’s something like friends with benefits or something,” he drank from his glass and gave me mine. I swallowed it all. He was right.

“We haven’t had sex,” I finally said after drinking the rest of the wine. He just nodded. We stayed there in silence. I was thinking and thinking about what Patrick said. About all of it.

“So you have been in love uh?” I asked and he widened his eyes and nodded. In that moment his phone rang; it was his mother to ask if the plans for Regina’s party were already up and running.

Eleven

We called Regina and Tracy to see if they could meet with us next day for a tour of the clubs. Regina decided that we should all have breakfast at Patrick’s place and then ride together to the clubs. Patrick asked Tracy to bring a couple of outfit choices for the party and she said that she would see what could be done in such short notice. Around 8 that night Patrick left and I decided to take a bath. I was really tired but mostly overwhelmed. Too many feelings and few of them were directed towards Brian. Maybe the feelings would grow as the companionship grew. My thoughts were completely interrupted when my phone rang, reaching for the phone that was in a small table near the tub where I currently was trying to relax. I read the ID and realized it was Brian. Great, just great, complicate things for me won’t you?

“Hey,” I said answering.

“Hello, you, how are you?” I smiled, I couldn’t help it. Brian was a great friend and had a way of making me feel positive about anything.

“Tired as hell,” I said resting my head on the tub.

“I was wondering if you were up for a pint of sorbet in your pjs in those cozy red couches you always talk about,” I literally moaned at the thought of sorbet

“I’d kill anyone for that,” I smiled I couldn’t help it.

“Not necessary, I’m on my way there.”

“Can’t wait,” I said and we hang up. Oh God! I’d just, practically, invited Brian over. At night. Great! 45 minutes later I heard someone knocking on my door. It was, obviously, Brian and I thought either he had been on his way when he called me or he drove like a maniac.

“Hey,” he said as I opened the door “here you have,” he gave me a brown paper bag that of course had a pint of sorbet.

“Oh you are my hero,” I said taking it and motioning for him to come in.

“Never been in here before,” He said looking around as he took his coat off.

“Like it?” I asked from the kitchen where I was already serving the sorbet into tiny bowls.

“Pretty cozy,” He said sitting on the red couches.

“What kind is it?” I asked while I served several scoops of sorbet “Kiwi,” he said and I nodded

“Here,” I gave him his bowl and I sat next to him with mine putting my legs under me. I think I was having a date with the sorbet because when I opened my eyes after tasting it Brian was looking at me like something was wrong. “Sorry,” I said smiling

“It’s ok,” he laughed “How was your day?” he asked “Long. Too long, Brian. I met Regina today,” I said nodding “Oh, how is she? Haven’t seen her in ages,”

“She’s ok. I guess. I’m helping with her 18
th
birthday party,” I shrugged “Oh… I would say she is worst than Patrick but I don’t know about that,” he was looking at his bowl. The sorbet was gone.

“She is very specific but I rather have that than trying to figure out what Patrick is talking about. Anyway,” I set my empty bowl on the coffee table “How was your day?” I asked.

“It was long, but no so complicated,” he said as he got closer to me. No more food to keep us apart “It’s nice to see you,” I didn’t know what to say so I did what any confused woman would have done. I kissed him, seemed like kissing was my coping mechanism for confusing situations. Like I’ve said before, kissing Brian was not an exhilarating or firework behind my eyes kind of thing but it was nice. For so long, my whole life really, I had been deprived, mostly by my own self, of the contact and touch of people I knew. Having this kind of intimacy, physical intimacy, with someone I cared about, in some level, was refreshing and at some point addictive. Maybe that’s why I let the kiss turn into some heavy making out session; a bit heavier than Halloween, pants weren’t part of the scene, my pants, and definitely no tops involved, both our tops. Brian surely knew what he was doing and at some point I relaxed long enough to let myself enjoy what was happening. However and here it’s when the thing gets complicated, I began to think; I thought about work, about where our relationship was going, about what Patrick had said about love and relationships but mostly, I thought about Patrick and that was really annoying and distracting. I had to stop what I was doing; I was never ever going to have a normal relationship with Brian because of Patrick!

“Brian,” I said trying to stop him but he really knew what he was doing. No! I had to stop him “Brian,” I said tapping on his shoulder

“Yes?” he asked while kissing my neck.

“I need to go to bed. I have a very long day tomorrow and I haven’t had time to rest,” I said staring at the ceiling when I finally felt him move.

“Sure,” he said. When I finally looked at him I couldn’t detect a hint of annoyance or frustration. He wasn’t angry it was as if he was relieved that I had stopped this from going further. “What are you doing tomorrow?” He asked while he put his shirt on.

“I am going with Regina to his brother’s clubs,” I refused to use his name while I was almost naked in front of Brian “and then, at night, I have a horrible, horrible themed Gala for one of Regina’s Friend’s Parents’ charity or something like that,” I said while arranging the nest on my head in a more decent way.

“That’s a horrible day indeed,” He said while he help me put on my pjs top. “What theme?” He asked as he tied his shoe laces. I definitely didn’t care about putting my pants on.

“The Great Gatsby,” I said and he laughed his ass off.

“What’s so funny?” I asked laughing as well. It was contagious. Good thing about Brian, he could scare away the awkward in a couple of minutes.

“C’mon Lucy, the outfits are hideous! I know how much you hate themed galas,” he kept on laughing.

“I do hate them,” I said putting my feet on the couch and hugging my knees “Just relax, have fun, have a drink or two,” he said getting up and looking at me in the couch “galas can be a bitch,” He gave me a soft kiss on the lips and I climbed down the couch to walk him to the door.

“They can be,” I was pouting.

“Anyway, I’ll call you tomorrow at some point,” he grabbed me by the waist and smiled “Ok,” I whispered. What the fuck was I doing?

“Good night, Lucy,” he kissed me again.

“Good night,” I said as he walked out the door. I closed it and leaned on it. I seriously needed some help I grabbed the pint of sorbet and went upstairs to my room. I turned the T.V on and sat on the bed eating the kiwi sorbet. I felt depressed but I didn’t know why. It was a weird feeling like I was losing something. My deep thoughts were interrupted by my phone ringing. I picked it up only to find Patrick’s name on the screen. It wasn’t that late, 11:30 pm, but late enough to want a midnight snack.

“Yes Patrick,” I said as I began to put my pj pants on.

“You don’t need to put your pants on,”

“What the fuck?” I looked around for cameras “do you have cameras in my room, Patrick?”  I heard him laugh out loud.

“No, look out your window,” I looked and saw him standing in the office. The lights on and he was still dressed as earlier, that meant he hadn’t gone to bed. He waved. “Stop stuffing your mouth with sorbet and go to bed, Lucy, we have a long day tomorrow.”

“I can’t sleep,” I said sitting down on the bed.

“Why?” He asked.

“It’s not that I can’t. I don’t want to,” I shrugged.

“What happened with Brian?” he asked and I turned around to look at the window through the blinds. He was laying his head back on his chair and had his eyes closed.

“You knew he was here?” I asked and saw what I thought was a smile.

“I know everything that happens in my house, Lucinda,” he still had his eyes closed. I put a pillow against the wall that was next to my bed so I could, comfortably, face the window and watch Patrick while we talked.

“Not everything,” I said as I took a spoonful of sorbet “you don’t even know what kind of soap you use,” I saw him shaking with laughter.

“I know about the important stuff,” I nod “So, what happened?” “Nothing,” I said while eating more sorbet he still had his eyes closed.

“Nothing?” he repeated not moving.

“Not at all,” I smiled more to myself than for him; I knew he wanted to know about how things were going.

“What does that mean?” He smiled as well.

“Well, we didn’t have sex if that’s what you want to know,” “You didn’t?” He opened his eyes and sat straight on his chair; he wasn’t aware that I was still watching him.

“No. I’m not ready to take this to that level and putting the friendship at risk,” I shrugged and ate some more sorbet.

“Why are you eating sorbet, then?” He finally turned to the window and I waved at him “And why are you on stalker mode?” He laughed.

“I’m eating sorbet because why on earth would I leave an amazing kiwi sorbet on the freezer if I could be eating it,” I took a bit spoonful of sorbet “and I am not in stalker mode you are the one that called me the minute I was in my room,” I heard him laugh and I saw him rest his arm on the window in his office.

“Go to sleep, Lucinda. We have a long boring day tomorrow,” he smiled “Good night, Patrick,” I smiled.

“Good night, Pepper,” Once again my nights belong to Patrick in a strange way. The last person I saw almost every night was my boss and I was ok with that.

Next morning I woke up early I was in zombie mode and I was not willing to transform into human anytime soon; even after my shower. It was a Saturday and I was going to be standing a lot while in the clubs so I decided to go with a comfortable outfit. I opted for a simple black dress and black riding boots with a denim jacket. I definitely was not in the mood to fashionize (if that is a word) myself today. The real question was why? Why was I in such a crappy mood? I asked myself that same question while brushing my blonde hair in front of the mirror. I gave myself an easy answer that was: I was tired, tired as hell and I had to walk around clubs preparing Regina’s party but my green eyes told me truth and my brain was getting really angry at that truth hence the crappy mood.

I shook off every stupid feeling or thought I had, grabbed my black bag and went to the house and straight to the kitchen. Miranda was already making some breakfast that I didn’t recognize I went directly for the coffee.

“Good Morning, Lucy,” she said while cooking.

“Good Morning, Miranda,” I said drinking coffee from my cup “Mr. Maynard is already in the dining room,” I nodded, took the paper and a tray with coffee and went out there.

“Good Morning,” I said going to the other room where I found Patrick and Regina both looking at their phones.

“Oh Good Morning, Lucy, so good to see you again,” said Regina standing from her seat and giving me a quick hug. I just smiled.

“Paper,” Patrick took it and I poured some coffee. He drank it all in one sip and handed it to me for a refill. Someone was not in a great mood. He drank the second cup a bit slower than the last time. I sat next to him and smiled at Regina that was in front of me next to Patrick.

“Good Morning,” he finally said.

“Good Morning,” I said and smiled.

“You two are cute,” she said smiling and I decided to ignore the comment by pouring some coffee on her cup. “Oh! Right! That reminds me,” she said reaching for her purse and taking a news paper out of it “Look,” she said giving it to Patrick. I tried to look but I could barely distinguish the name of the paper.

Patrick read something really quick and handed me the paper “I told you,” I grabbed the paper and quickly figured what he was talking about because the first thing that caught my eye was a picture of both of us leaving the restaurant after Regina. He had his arm around me and I looked a bit overwhelmed. I understood why this could be mistaken by a romantic hug when in reality it was just my boss protecting me from photographers.  The note on the paper talked about Patrick Maynard having a new lady in his life and of course the story was that I was there with him so Regina could meet the woman he was dating. If only they knew.

“Are we supposed to comment on this or give some kind of statement?” I asked holding the paper. The rumor would be cleared quickly and easy; I was his assistant and he was trying to protect me from the paparazzi.