Until Alex (22 page)

I took a pull of my beer. Alex’s candor still unnerved me. It had been a long time since anyone spoke to me with the honesty she did. And just as long since I meant something to someone, the way I clearly did to her. “Glad you’re having fun.”

Alex leaned closer, her voice lower than normal. “When are we doing the body shots?”

My brows flew up as I choked down the beer in my mouth.

Was she joking? She had to be joking. Because she was too classy to strip down so I could suck shots from her naval in the middle of a packed bar. Not that I wouldn’t want to. Because, man, I wanted to.

I shook my head like the standup guy I needed to be. “No way in hell I’m letting anyone see you like that.”

Her cheeks flushed to a pretty shade of pink. “I didn’t mean here.”

F
uck me
.

I lifted my face to the heavens. I needed strength. Mine was seriously faltering. 

I wanted this. And I wanted it with Alex. But I had a feeling, like deep down in places my conscience had no business being, that she’d never had sex before.

I needed to be smart. There was a lot riding on the remainder of the night. I couldn’t do anything to screw it up. The old Hayden would’ve. This Hayden couldn’t. “Why don’t we finish up here and see where the night takes us.”

ALEX

Had I just been rejected? Because it felt a lot like a rejection.

I didn’t understand. After the way things heated up over the past twenty-four hours, I assumed it was a logical progression. It wasn’t like I’d asked him to screw me on a table in the middle of the bar. Okay. So maybe the screwing was implied, but come on. He’s a guy. What guy wouldn’t immediately ask for the check and race back to his place?

Maybe he wasn’t planning to sleep with me. Maybe he sensed my inexperience. Maybe it was so glaringly obvious I should’ve been mortified. 

“Hey,” Hayden’s voice broke through my musings.

I glanced to his blue eyes, such a contrast to his white shirt and navy tie.

“Where were you just now?”

No use lying. I tapped the side of my head.

“Well stay out of there. Our night isn’t even close to over yet.”

His assurance brought a bevy of flutters to my stomach. God, I was so easy.

* * *

“Wait here,” Hayden instructed as he turned off the engine and jumped out of his truck.

My feet bounced with nervous energy as he passed the front of the truck. He opened my door and took my hand, helping me out. My nerves kicked into high gear as we set off toward our building.

It
was happening. It was really happening.

Hayden pulled me across the leaf-covered lawn. Before I realized what he intended, he stopped. His hands locked on my hips, and he lifted me onto the picnic table I hadn’t realized was behind me.

The wood distressed beneath his weight as he sat beside me. Wrapping his arm around my waist, he drew me into his side and dropped a kiss to the top of my head. “This is what I was thinking about doing the day we met.”

I smiled into his side, recalling the moment.

“I probably should’ve. It would’ve saved us a lot of wasted time.”

I laughed. “You would’ve scared the hell out of me.”

His voice became serious. “You were so sad. I knew whatever was causing you pain, I needed to make it go away. I needed to make it better. I just didn’t know how.”

I stared
up into his eyes. Just like his words, they were truthful and exposed—and let’s not forget drop dead, melt into a puddle of goo, dreamy. I couldn’t believe he saved it all for me. All those other girls got his body. But I got so much more.

Trailing a finger across my cheek, he brushed a stray piece of hair out of my eye. “I’ve never needed to help someone the way I need to help you.”

“Sorry, I’m so pathetic.”

He lifted my chin with his finger, leveling his eyes with mine. “That’s not what I meant. It’s like…I have this need
deep inside. It makes me
want
to help you.
Want
to be there for you no matter what. No matter when. No matter where.”

With
heady emotions whirling through me, I grabbed his tie and pulled him to me. My lips collided with his. He was more than willing, grabbing hold of the sides of my head and unleashing his own lips and tongue. A long moment slid by as we lost ourselves in the sensations we created.
God
. How any girl could settle for just one night with him was beyond me. Our feelings were transferred through our connection. That deep, permeating connection that made Hayden admit things I knew he’d never admitted before.

He pulled away, his
tongue grazing his bottom lip as his eyes locked on my lips. He didn’t want to stop. And I loved that he didn’t want to. “Come on,” he said on a sigh, jumping down from the table and holding out his hand for mine.

Instead of going inside, he led me to the pool and sat me down on a lounge chair. I watched with growing anticipation as he dropped to his knees in front of me and lowered his warm hands to my left thigh. He slipped his fingers around the back of my leg while his thumbs massaged my bare skin. Goose bumps scattered everywhere.

Oh sweet Jesus. 

Stopping his hands at the top
of my boot, he lowered the zipper from the back of my knee down to my ankle. His fingers slid inside the opening, running up and down my calf sending ripples rocketing.

Was there a spot on my body that didn’t react to his touch?

He glanced up at me through his impossibly long eyelashes as he slipped the boot from my foot.

“Am I getting the usual Hayden Martin treatment?”

A sly smile crept across his lips. “Oh, no. You’re getting more than the usual. It’s your birthday. Remember?”

“So there’s a birthday special?”

“Let’s just say I know how to improvise.”

I smiled as he repeated his seductive boot removal technique with my right leg, before slipping off his own shoes and socks and rolling up the bottom of his jeans.

He took my hand and led me to the side of the pool. The moon shone down on the still surface as we sat on the edge with our feet dangling in the cool water. Again, he slipped his arm around me, drawing me into his side, like he couldn’t get close enough. 

“And here, I saw you in that bathing suit. My God, woman. Were you trying to kill me?”

I threw back my head. “Believe it or not, when I came out here, you were the last thing on my mind. Sleep. Sleep was on my mind and my need to do it. Until, of course, you showed up and thrust your shirtless self in my face.”

He laughed, squeezing my body as he did. “Liked what we saw, did we?”

“You’re so conceited.”

“And you love it.”

I rolled my eyes, not even bothering to deny it. A distant siren sounded in the quiet night as the cool air tickled my bare arms.

Hayden’s voice deepened, growing serious once again. “It was that day I realized there was more to you than just a gorgeous face.”

Gorgeous face?

Even with the butterflies taking flight in my stomach, I couldn’t quell the sarcasm. “So you liked my body?”

“Uh, yeaaaah,” he deadpanned.

I nudged him with my shoulder, and his shoulders shook with laughter.

“No, seriously. You were so damn funny and sarcastic and just…real. Not at all like other girls I’d been around.”

I stared down at the water sparkling in the moonlight
unsure of what to say.

“And if I’m being completely honest, it took all the willpower I had to leave you that day. But I knew if I stayed, I couldn’t be held responsible for my actions.”

“So, no laundry?”

He shook his head. “Cold shower.”

We both laughed for a long time. I wished those deep creases around his eyes when he laughed—when he let himself relax—would stay forever.

He leaned down and his lips sealed over mine, soft and gentle. Such a contradiction to his tough
façade—his tough life. And instead of ravaging my lips until they were raw, he tortured them with tender caresses. Like they were something sacred. Like
I
was something sacred.

He pulled away with a smirk, probably because we were both breathless and gasping for air like we’d just finished a race. “That day I so wanted to do that.”

“I probably would’ve let you. And I’m thinking I would’ve liked it.”

He brushed his nose against mine. “Only liked it?”

I rolled my eyes. So damn cocky. “I would’ve loved it.”

“That’s better.” He jumped to his feet, pulling me to mine. We grabbed our shoes, and he tugged me away from the pool. “Two more stops.”

We were half way to the door of the building when I yelped. Hayden yanked me down onto his lap in the middle of the lawn. I giggled, not from his playfulness—which I loved—but from to the awkward way I straddled his hips in my short skirt. He didn’t seem to mind because he leaned in, kissing me softly below my ear before nuzzling my neck with a muffled groan.

My God, if he’d just stay
this playful and truthful, everything would be beyond perfect.

“Now, if we’d watched the movie this way, I guarantee you wouldn’t have fallen asleep.”

“You said you wanted me to sleep,” I reminded him.

He nodded. “Yeah. I knew you needed it.” His eyes grew distant. It happened so quickly. Like a switch went off and the carefree Hayden vanished.

I wasn’t about to lose him, so I gripped his chin lightly and made him look at me. “What?”

He shook his head, his eyes drifting away from me.

I gave him a moment, wrapping my arms around him and holding him to me as the leaves on the trees rustled in the breeze.

“I don’t sleep much either,” he said. “I’ve got a lot keeping me awake at night. But that night, out here next to you, I slept. No dreams. No waking up in a cold sweat. I just slept.” He tightened his grasp on me. “It happens when we share a bed, too.”

I smiled a big stupid grin. As much as I needed him, he needed me, too.  They weren’t just words uttered in a bar. Every second we spent together made that abundantly clear. It was irrational, and probably unhealthy, but it was what we had. What we were. “After all you’ve done for me, I’m glad I can help you. Even if it’s just in a small way.”

“So you think your aunt’ll let me move in?”

I pulled back to find a hopeful grin on his face. “Not unless you plan on staying in her room.”

He laughed. “Oh, no. It’s your room or I’m out.”

I shook my amused head. “So, where to now?”

He grasped my hips and helped me to my feet. He slipped his hand into mine, guiding me into the building. When we stepped onto our floor, he turned to me. “We already went to Jake’s, so that covers that, but something happened after. When we got home. You thanked me for helping you forget.”

My gaze dropped to my bare feet, feeling vulnerable hearing my words repeated.

“Instead of letting you walk away. I should’ve done this.” Hayden dropped his shoes and cupped my cheeks. I had no other option but to look up into his piercing eyes. “I will do whatever it takes to make you forget. I’ll say whatever you need me to say. Go wherever you need me to go. And I’ll be whoever you need me to be.”

Holy hell
.

Dropping my boots, I wrapped my arms around his neck and forced his
lips to mine. His words hit deep, and in that moment, with his words filling my head, my body, and my heart, I knew this thing between us was more real than anything I’d ever had before.

I pulled back and looked into his eyes. They were anxious like mine. “I want you, Hayden. I want all you’re willing to give.”

He said nothing. Just gripped my rear end and lifted me until my legs wrapped around his hips. He kissed me like he needed me to breathe. Fervent and rough. He slammed my back against his door and continued kissing me, consuming my lips, my neck, my ear, my jawline. It was amazing. He was amazing.

God only knows how he unlocked the door, but it swung open and we practically fell inside. But Hayden wouldn’t let me fall. He’d
never
let me fall.

My heart ricocheted off the wall of my chest as he kicked the door shut and carried me to his bedroom, gently lowering us to his bed. Neither of us let up our hold, kissing until we couldn’t breathe. When we pulled apart, our chests heaved.

He gazed down into my eyes. “Are you sure this is what you want?”

Keeping my eyes locked on his, I nodded. “I’ve never wanted anything more.” I reached for his collar and unknotted his tie, slipping it off his neck.

He immediately went to work on the buttons of his shirt before giving up and yanking it half-buttoned over his head, leaving him in all his bare-chested glory. I wondered if he realized how beautiful he was or if every girl before me had told him so.

His lips crashed down on mine. His tongue slipped inside my mouth, sweet and playful, sweeping in every direction. We were so in sync. I mimicked his give and take, his push and pull.