Until Alex (28 page)

Apparently, Remy hadn’t made bail. He must’ve been going crazy surrounded by those four walls. But I sent the call to voicemail. I was nowhere near ready to deal with him.

The sun sat lower in the sky by the time we turned into a gated community. My mouth practically hit the floor as we passed mansions of all sizes and designs. I’d only ever seen such wealth when celebrities flaunted their cash on television.

Alex’s affluence suddenly terrified me. I’d become involved with a girl who’d been raised with the finer things in life. That’s all she knew. I barely managed to support myself.

At the end of the road, we turned, making the half-mile trek up the winding private driveway lined with impeccably-manicured trees. At the end, we were met by a circular expanse. In the center sat a water fountain. Of course she had a water fountain. And the water-spouting-statue was another angel.

I glanced to the heavens.
I hear you, Mom. I hear you.

When the car stopped, Alex stirred but didn’t wake. Like at the cemetery, the driver had the good sense to let us get out at our own pace. Good thing. I needed time to examine the imposing structure before me.

The three-story, white, brick house boasted varying sized peeked roofs. Floor-to-ceiling windows took up the majority of the exterior, with a massive window above the vaulted doorway displaying an enormous crystal chandelier. Perfect landscaping lined the exterior, as did a cobblestone walking path.

I knew Alex was rich. But this was unbelievable.

I leaned down. “Hey. We’re home.”

She stirred again, but her eyes remained closed.

“Come on. I’m expecting the grand tour of this resort.”

Her eyelids fluttered before her eyes finally opened and settled on mine.

“Hey. You okay?”

She nodded, sitting up slowly and gaping out the window at the house she hadn’t seen in months. “Well, let’s get this over with.” She pushed open the door and waited for me to step outside before proceeding to the front door.

To say I was floored once we stepped inside would be the understatement of the year. I called it a resort. I should’ve called it a museum. With its cathedral ceiling and checkerboard-marble floor, every step echoed like the long walkways of a quiet gallery.

From the formal sitting room to the dining room, statues on marble pedestals sat in the corners of the rooms. Paintings, in gaudy gold frames, hung on
the walls.

The only room not requiring a velvet rope sat in the rear of the first floor, beyond the grand staircase. And just because it didn’t appear off limits, it wasn’t any less impressive. The rows of maple cabinets, stainless steel appliances, and speckled granite countertops came straight from the pages of an interior design magazine—for the rich and famous.

The windows, encompassing the entire rear of the first floor, overlooked a pool and guest house. They gave the house an ocean-view feel without the ocean. I wondered how far their property extended since the emerald backyard seemed to roll for miles.

“It’s beautiful.”

Alex turned from her spot in front of the walk-in pantry where she stared at the stocked shelves and followed my eyes to the view outside. She didn’t say a word.

She was taking it all in. Being back in Austin. Being back in her home. Being inundated by memories at every turn. I needed to be mindful of that.

She grabbed hold of the pantry door like she intended to close it, but she didn’t. She reached out and lightly brushed her fingertips over the frilly apron hanging from a hook inside the door. Lifting the fabric to her nose, she breathed it in. “I was starting to forget what she smelled like.”

It broke my heart watching her torture herself like that, but I leaned back against the center island, giving her time with her grief. It’s what she needed.

After long moments stretched on, I knew I needed to distract her or lose her completely. “Hey you got any honey in there?”

I watched her shoulders shake with silent laughter. “I like honey.”

I grinned, recalling our exchange at Jake’s. “I don’t doubt it, but what do you say we go for a swim, then enjoy the honey?”

She let the apron fall. As she turned toward me, a smile pulled at the corners of her lips. “You looking for a rematch?”

“Do I need to let you win this time?”

She shook her head. The almost-smile faded as she closed the pantry door. “Maybe later.”

I walked over and wrapped my arms around her, holding her to my chest. Breathing in
her
warm scent. “Whatever you want. Whatever you need. I’m not going anywhere.”

She nodded into me, letting me hold her for a quiet moment. “Want to see the upstairs?”

“Are you asking if I want to see your bedroom?” I pulled back so I could see her face. I flashed my ‘proven to win over even the toughest crowds’ smile. “Because I absolutely want to see it.”

Thankfully, she smiled back.

ALEX

Standing in the kitchen in Hayden’s arms proved one thing. I never would’ve been able to return home without him.

I needed him.

We didn’t share memories in Austin. We didn’t share anything that would’ve brought me back to the sad place I’d escaped months ago. Every moment would be new. We’d create our own memories.

I led Hayden up the grand staircase. We took the right toward my bedroom. I had no idea of its state. When I left, I grabbed a handful of clothes and didn’t bother to clean up. I just needed to be out of the one place I associated most with my parents. I just needed to breathe.

Hayden and I stepped inside my suite. Clothes hung off my desk chair. The down comforter on my unmade four-post bed hung on the floor. Shoes were kicked into the corner of the room. And the pillows from my sofa in the sitting area were tossed all over the floor.

I fell back onto my messy bed and giggles erupted.

“What’s so funny?” Hayden asked.

I looked up at him towering over me and shook my head like the crazy person I appeared to be. “I don’t even know. It just feels so good to be here and not feel like I can’t touch my own stuff.”

His brows furrowed.

“We had this ninja housekeeper,” I explained. “If I left my room for more than two minutes, she’d sweep in undetected and clean anything I left out of place.”

The bed sagged as Hayden sat down beside me. “Ninja, huh?”

I grinned, the recollection bittersweet.

He glanced around my room, taking in all the girly accessories strewn about. “Is it weird being back?”

I nodded.

His eyes flashed to mine. “Is it weird having me here?”

I shook my head. “It’s like bringing my two worlds together.”

He picked up a framed picture from my nightstand. “Who’s this?”

“My ex.”

He examined the picture of Preston and me at his frat’s formal last year. Me in my strapless green dress and Preston in his tux, complete with the dorky bow tie. I begged him to wear a normal tie, but he didn’t listen. “Looks like a tool.”

I snorted, which lead to a long cleansing laugh. 

Hayden placed the picture face down on my nightstand, then reclined beside me. We both stared up at the ceiling. “Why don’t you have a picture of us next to your bed back home?”

I glanced over, expecting to see amusement in his eyes. Instead I found sincerity. “We’ve never taken a picture together.”

He contemplated the thought. Then pulled his phone from his pocket and tapped the screen a couple times. He leaned his head into mine and held his phone out above us. “Smile.”

I did. A big goofy smile because I was home. In a place I never thought I’d step foot again. In a town I never thought I’d return to. And I was surviving. Because Hayden was by my side.

He snapped the picture then checked it. “Your eyes were closed.”

“Were not.” I grabbed for the phone, but his long arm held it away from me.

“Let’s try again.”

Instead of staying still when he snapped the picture, I turned my head and kissed his cheek. He laughed, but it didn’t deter him. He took at least ten more, claiming something was wrong with each one. I assumed he was trying to lift my spirits, but a small part of me hoped he just wanted pictures of us together. And since he didn’t have a single picture in his apartment, the thought elated me.

“You’ve got enough for both of us to have a collage by our bed,” I teased.

He didn’t laugh. He just turned on his side with his head in his palm. “If you stay with me, then we’d only need one.”

Wha-huh?

The way he stared down at me with those smoldering eyes, I would’ve thought he was serious.

“You know…I have an aunt who’ll have your neck if she thinks you’re coercing her niece to live in sin. You sure the two of you never—”

I squealed as Hayden rolled on top of me, pinning me to the bed. “What’s it gonna take, woman? I swear to you, since you showed up, you’re the only one I’ve thought about.” He brushed his lips below my right ear sending tiny shudders surging through me. “You’re the only one I’ve dreamt about.” He brushed his lips below my left ear eliciting the same tiny shudders. “And you’re the only one I’ve been naked with.” He leaned down and brushed his lips to mine.

I slipped my arms around his back lost in the sensation of his lips now nibbling their way down my throat. “Is that your way of avoiding the question?”

He laughed, but when he lifted his head and his eyes met mine,
I could see his exasperation. “Yes, Alex, I had a life before you showed up. But I
never
touched your aunt.”

“But you’ve been with older women?”

He closed his eyes and growled. “Why do girls do this? Why do they insist on torturing themselves with their boyfriends’ pasts?”

My eyes expanded while my stomach summersaulted. “You’re my boyfriend?”

His eyes snapped open. “I sure hope so. I don’t go around telling just anyone I love them.”

I couldn’t fight off my smile, though I kept my lips tight for fear of laughing aloud like an idiot. “And you love me?”

He smiled, those amazing dimples sinking in. “Now you’re just fishing.”

I couldn’t hold back my laughter any longer. “Damn straight I am.”

Hayden leaned in and kissed me, intoxicating me with his possessiveness. His tongue licked across the seam of my lips and dipped inside, sweeping and circling. His lips were so soft. So moist. So hungry. It made all the kisses before pale in comparison. This one carried the feelings associated with what was happening between us. The trust. The love. The future. 

I pulled back, catching my breath while he nibbled down my neck. “You were my first, you know.”

He stopped his attack, nodding into the crook of my neck.

I gasped. “It was that bad?” He’d slept with tons of girls—women. How could I ever compare?

He rolled onto his side, resting his head in his palm and staring down at me with apologetic eyes. “I know it’s impossible, but if I could, I’d erase everything I did before we met. Those girls, they didn’t mean anything to me. Being with you…” His thumb traced my bottom lip. “It meant everything to me. It still does. And you trusting me to be your first was such a damn turn on, I can’t even begin to explain it.”

I reached up and ran my nails through the back of his head. “A turn on, huh?”

He brushed his lips to mine, speaking against them. “Big time.”

“Well, what do you say we pretend it’s the first time all over again?”

His mouth sealing over mine was the only response I got.

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

ALEX

Waking up naked in my childhood bed with Hayden twisted around me like a pretzel was something I almost couldn’t comprehend. A few months ago, the only future I envisioned had Preston in it. Life without him seemed impossible.

Until Hayden.

Being with Hayden felt right. Like the stars aligned to bring us together. I knew he wasn’t perfect. Far from it. But neither was I. We were two people trying to maneuver through life after the crummy hands we’d been dealt. And we were surviving.

I tried to slide out from under his warm body, but he held on tighter. “Hayden. I need to shower.”

“No,” he grunted
into my neck.

“We’ve been in bed for almost an entire day. I’m sweaty.”

“I like you sweaty."

I eyed the container of honey on my nightstand.
  “And sticky.”

He
dragged his tongue up my neck, ensuring he hadn't left any honey on my skin. "Mmm. I love you sticky."

“You can come with me.”

His eyes snapped open. “Seriously?”

I nodded, biting my lip in anticipation.

Hayden jumped out of bed in all his naked glory. A magnificent sight I could go on and on about. But why bother? It was what it was. And it was all mine.

I wrapped the sheet around my body and padded to my bathroom. He followed closely behind, not even attempting to tug the sheet off like other guys would have. But then again, Hayden wasn’t like other guys.

I reached inside the two-person shower and flipped the knobs. Through the glass, Hayden’s eyes took in the four powerful jets shooting out from various angles.

I dropped the sheet to my feet and stepped inside. Hayden followed, pressing his naked front to my back. I leaned my head against his shoulder, feeling every hard inch of him as the water soaked the front of my body. He wrapped his arms around my waist, caressing my stomach with tantalizingly delicious circles, while he pressed open-mouthed kisses down the side of my neck.

I couldn’t stop the rumbling in the back of my throat as my head fell to the side, giving him easier access. He grabbed a bar of soap and lathered up my body as his lips continued their assault.

When I was nothing more than a useless pile of mush,
and the throbbing between my thighs was almost too much to bear, Hayden spun me around so my front pressed into his chest. I slipped my arms around his neck as the shower jets soaked the back of my head.

He stepped forward, causing me to step back. The warm water rained over our faces. Hayden licked his way up the side of my neck, making his way to my lips. When I opened to let him in, the water mixing with our tongues made everything more incredible.

I needed him. I wanted him. I’d do anything for him.

Hayden shifted, moving our faces away from the spray. Our lips wer
e still connected—moving as one. As the water hit the back of my head again, another jet hit the back of his. Yearning to be closer to him, I lifted my leg to his hip. I needed to feel him. Needed to feel his pleasure. 

Grasping my need, he caught me under the knee and lifted me so I straddled his hips. He twisted and stepped forward, moving my back against the wet shower tiles. “You never stop amazing me,” he purred into my lips.

Burying my fingers in his hair, I smiled and pulled him as close to me as possible.

I knew then that I would do anything to have moments like these with him forever.

HAYDEN

Alex let me drive her father’s Maserati to breakfast. A fucking
Maserati
. Would I be a total pussy to admit showering with Alex surpassed driving the car? Because it had.

Apparently, my promiscuity had rubbed off on her. And I loved it. Loved that she couldn’t stop touching me. Loved that she couldn’t stop kissing me. Loved that she’d become so comfortable with me. She had no reason not to be. Her body was amazing.
She
was amazing.

The overhead bell on the café door jingled when we stepped inside. Heads turned and whispering ensued. Alex handled it like a champ, taking my hand and leading me to a corner table tucked in the back.

I glanced around the crowded room. All fifteen tables with freshly cut flowers in small vases had a view of the swank shops and overpriced restaurants lining the street. 

Thanks to the breakfast aromas wafting through the room, my stomach growled like a caged lion. I chanced a peek at Alex, figuring she’d be amused by it. With her hands folded on her closed menu, she gazed across the table at me, seemingly lost in thought.

I shot her a crooked smile, bouncing my eyebrows for effect.

She smiled.

“What are you thinking about?” I asked, rolling up the sleeves of my white button-down shirt.

Her smile expanded before she mouthed, “You.”

“Care to share?”

She shook her head.

I sat back and crossed my arms, admiring the beauty before me. In the café, in her hometown, Alex looked like a true Southerner in a blue sundress with a thick leather belt. But instead of cowboy boots, she rocked her flip flops. “Alright then. I’ll guess.”

“Go for it.”

My eyes settled on hers, so green and brilliant. “You’re sitting there, admiring the fine male specimen in front of you, thinking you can’t believe this gorgeous guy—make that hottie—is here with you when he could be off breaking hearts and taking names all over the great state of Texas.”

She stifled a smile. I wished she wouldn’t do that. I loved when she smiled.

“You’re thinking the dimples are amazing and the body is a thing of dreams. How am I doing so far?”

She laughed. There wasn’t a finer sound in all the world. “Not even close.”

I mouthed. “I don’t believe you.”

She rolled her eyes and shook her head in amusement.

“You know what you’re getting?”

She nodded.

“Are you gonna make me guess that, too?”

She nodded.

I glanced around the room, checking out the heaping dishes of other diners. “Pancakes?”

She shook her head.

“Eggs?”

She scrunched her nose.

“Waffles?”

She laughed, finally taking pity on me. “A panini and chocolate milkshake.”

“For breakfast?”

“Sure, why not?”

An older waitress dressed in a bumblebee costume, complete with bouncing antennae on her head, approached our table. “Happy Halloween, kids. What’ll it be?”

Alex flashed the waitress an adorable smile, like she was asking Santa for a special gift
. “I’ll have a chicken and roasted red pepper panini and a chocolate milkshake.”

T
he waitress jotted down Alex’s order. “And you, honey?”

I closed my menu. “I’ll have the same.”

The waitress nodded before hurrying off.

“
For breakfast?
” Alex asked behind a big smile.

I leaned back and extended my legs, crossing them at the ankles. “If it’s good enough for my girl, it’s good enough for me.”

Her smile remained. “Am I the only one who forgot it was Halloween?”

I shook my head. “
But now that we know, I’m hoping for a treat. Preferably one with honey.”

She laughed, her eyes sparkling. “I love having you here.”

“I love being here.”

“Yeah? Why’s that?”

“You fishing again?”

Her head bobbed eagerly. But before I could indulge her in the hundreds of reasons I loved being there with her, the smile slipped from her face. As did the color in her cheeks and the
sparkle in her eyes.

My head whipped over my shoulder. A tall brunette and the guy from Alex’s picture strolled into the café. “Fuck.”

I turned back to Alex. Her eyes shot to her lap. It took no more than a second, but gone was the girl who seduced me in the shower. Gone was the girl fishing for compliments. Gone was the girl excited over having a damn panini for breakfast. In her place sat a sad timid girl defeated by life. Defeated by the mere memory of her past.

I reached across the table and grabbed her limp hands, holding them tightly in the center of the table. “Hey.”

Her eyes remained in her lap.

“Alex, look at me.”

Her eyes lifted the slightest bit.

“Let’s get out of here.”

Her eyes shot back down. “I need to be here.”

It was as if she decided she’d done something wrong and needed to pay the price. It broke my damn heart.

My head shot back over my shoulder. The two stared from across the room, whispering to one another. My skin buzzed as my adrenaline kicked in. I jumped to my feet, but Alex held onto my hands so tightly her knuckles whitened. “I’m fine. We’re fine. Let’s just stay and eat.”

My pulse pounded in my ears as I dropped back down into the chair.

Her ex was hurt. I got that. He’d lost his parents. But Alex had, too. How long did he expect her to take the blame? To be his punching bag? I hated the looks they’d given her. Hated the fact that my strong girl had transformed into a shell of herself. But what could I do? I didn’t want to upset her any more than she already was.

And as much as I wanted to help, it wasn’t my battle. I needed to let her handle it her way.

When our food arrived, Alex didn’t say a word. She focused on her meal, taking a few sips of the milk shake and barely touching the panini. It was torture.

When the waitress brought the check, I grabbed it and threw down some cash. I seized Alex’s hand and pulled her to her feet, evening my eyes with hers. “I love you.”

She nodded, but not in a way that said she believed me.

So while it might’ve been childish, I didn’t care. I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her in the middle of the crowded restaurant. It wasn’t a passionate kiss by any means, but it made my point to her and everyone else in that room. Someone loved her. Someone cared about her. Someone knew what an amazing person she was.

I linked our fingers, keeping a strong hold of her hand as we made our way to the door. When we passed her ex, I stared him down, stopping him from even thinking about uttering a word.

As quickly as her flip flops would carry us, Alex tugged me away from the café and down the sidewalk. Once we were a safe distance away, she exhaled a giant breath, like she’d been holding it in the whole time we’d been inside.

“You did good in there.”

She stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and looked up at me. “How can you even say that?”

“I’m serious. You didn’t run. You stayed.”

“Yeah, but I obviously didn’t—”

“Alex,” a deep voice shouted from behind us.

Alex’s shoulders tensed.

Her ex made his way toward us, his hands buried in the pockets of his jeans. “Hi,” he said from a distance.

Alex turned to face him. “Hi.”

He inched a few steps closer. “I didn’t know you’d be coming back.”

She shook her head. “I just had some things to take care of.”

His eyes shifted to me, giving me the once over. It wasn’t malicious, more out of curiosity. But I still wanted to give him the finger then pummel him.

“This is Hayden.” Alex moved her hand between us. “Hayden, Preston.”

“Nice to meet you,” the idiot said, like he actually meant it.

I didn’t say a word. 

Alex crossed her arms. “Did you want something, Press?”

He shrugged, his face uneasy. “Just wanted to see how you were doing.”

She scoffed. “I’m guessing just about as good as you.”

He nodded, a slow pathetic nod.

“But at least you had people to lean on. People to mourn with. I’m guessing no one stopped returning your calls.”

Nice one, Alex.
Go right for the jugular.

“I…” Words abandoned him as his eyes jumped around, searching for something to say. 

“Don’t. Nothing you say will make it better. But know this.” Her voice was stronger. Forceful. “It was
not
my fault.”

His eyes creased in the corners as it hit him. As it finally occurred to him what he’d done. Who he’d hurt. What he’d lost in all of this. Alex could’ve been the one thing he held onto, but he chose to blame her and push her away instead.

ALEX

After leaving Preston speechless on the sidewalk, I dropped Hayden off at the house to relax by the pool while I ran out. He offered to tag along, but didn’t force the issue when I told him I’d rather go alone. He probably assumed I was doing something personal. Which I was.

I’d been thinking a lot about my parents’ vineyard. It had been in my father’s family for over seventy years. Being the only living heir meant it belonged to me. So did the restaurant, banquet facility, spa, and hotel.