Until Harry (13 page)

Besides, a conversation about our past would be on Kale’s terms; I owed him that much.

I turned the television on and scanned through the channels until I landed on
The Big Bang Theory
. That was safe. It was a comedy show, and there was a low probability of me bursting into tears as we watched it. A few minutes passed by before Kale re-entered the room with two cups of tea in his hands. He placed both cups on coasters on the coffee table in front of the sofa.

He settled next to me, sitting just a few inches away, with his arm thrown over the back of the sofa and his long legs parted as he watched the show. I couldn’t concentrate on anything other than how close Kale was to me. He was so close I could smell his delicious scent, and it was torturing me as it begged me to bury my face in his neck and inhale.

Rein it in,
my mind warned.

I bit the insides of my cheeks, then leaned forward and picked up the cup in front of me, blew lightly and took a sip of the heated liquid. I audibly groaned as the sugary goodness slid down my throat to my empty stomach.

“Oh. My. God,” I breathed. “You still make the best cup of tea I have
ever
tasted.”

Kale didn’t reply, so when I looked at him, I found his eyes were focused on my mouth, and it caused my pulse to spike. After a moment or two, he lifted his gaze to mine and grinned. “I’m glad I still hold onto my title of World’s Best Cup of Tea Maker.”

I snorted, thinking back to the time when I’d given him that title. I was fourteen and had my period, and I was cramping and miserable. Kale made me my first cup of tea, and it changed everything. Every. Thing. From that moment on, whenever I was in his company, he would be on duty to make me a cup of tea.

I was glad to see it was one tradition that didn’t fade to nothing.

We sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes before I felt on edge. I wanted to offer my condolences for Kaden, to acknowledge his existence, but I didn’t know how to say it. I was so scared
I w
ould mess it up and not come across as completely sincere.
I w
as also afraid it would upset Kale, and that was the last thing I wanted.

I decided it was best for me to leave before I said something that would upset one of us, most likely me.

“I think I’m going to go up to bed before I fall asleep down here.”

That was a cold-hearted lie. I was so wired being in his company, and it was freaking me out.

“Go ahead. I’ll stay down here until your parents and brothers get in.”

What did I do to deserve his generosity?
I thought, then frowned when my mind sneered,
Nothing.

I got to my feet and shifted from foot to foot.

“Thank you, Kale.”

He gazed up at me. “You don’t have to thank me, Laney Bab
y –
I’ve got you.”

My heart thudded against my chest, surprisingly still working.

“Laney Baby,” I mused. “That won’t ever change, will it?”

Kale smiled, shook his head and said, “Things haven’t changed around here, kid.”

I glanced around and frowned. “Are you sure? Because from where I’m standing, everything is different.”

“I’m the same,” he replied, and licked his lips. “Mostly,
anyway
.”

I looked at him,
really
looked at him, and found him staring right back at me, his hazel eyes focused on mine.

“Everyone changes, Kale. Nothing stays the same forever,”
I m
urmured.

He frowned. “Have you changed?”

He looked, and sounded, like it pained him to ask that
question
.

I reluctantly nodded. “I’m not the same Lane you once kne
w, pup.”

Surprisingly, my answer brought a glorious smile to his face. It was the kind of smile that caused butterflies to flutter in my stomach, my heart to beat fast and my breath to catch.

It was a true thing of beauty.

“My Lane is still in there somewhere,” he said, his tone matter-of-fact. “Only she would call me ‘pup’.”

I always called him that because he had the biggest puppy-dog eyes I had ever seen, and that was one thing about him that would never change. The glint in them had, but not the size.

I didn’t know what to say to that, so I gave him a small smile and bid him goodnight. When I got into my bedroom, I closed the door behind me, pressed my back against the wood, then sank down to the ground and stared into the darkness.

He called me his. Kale said I was
his
Lane.

I shook my head at that because I wasn’t his. You could never belong to someone without owning a piece of him or her in return, and I’d learned the hard way that I didn’t own any part of Kale.
I h
ad a memory of what owning him was like, but that was it. And that memory was fading. Fast.

CHAPTER TEN

Seventeen years old (nine years ago)

M
y brothers were going to bloody
kill
me.

Layton might be reasoned with, but not Lochlan, who would run through me like a murderous bull. Even Kale would tear me a new one when he understood how I’d lied to my parents and snuck out to a party instead of staying over at my friend’s house like I’d told them I was going to.

The plan was unassailable – that was until my brothers, Kale
and
their friends walked into said party.

“I’m so dead,” I whispered to myself as I sat on the lid of the toilet of the upstairs bathroom.

I was in this massive house on the edge of town, where a huge party happened a few times a year. I had heard about them over the last two years from older girls at school, and they were always ragers. The man and woman who owned the house were always away on business, so their son had parties to keep from being bored.

I regretted ever agreeing to come, even though I
was
having fun before my brothers and Kale showed up. No amount of fun was worth dealing with the three of them when they were mad at me, though.

“Lane?” a familiar voice whispered through the bathroom door; then three hard knocks rapped against the wood.

It was Lavender.

Lavender Grey – that was her real name – was my friend. She’d moved down the road from me nearly two years ago, and we instantly became friends. She showed up in my life shortly after everything went to hell with Anna and Ally. I was so happy when she didn’t take to either of them or any of the other mean girls in our year at school; she saw them and their true colours without me having to tell her they could be nasty.

We hung out every single day and became best friends rapidly. She was unlike any other person I had ever met. She was straight-up honest and took no bullshit. The first day I’d met her, I was annoyed with Kale for ditching plans we had made at the last minute, and I literally bumped into her in the supermarket where Kale and I were supposed to meet. I mumbled an apology, and she said if
I wa
s going to say sorry, then I had to mean it. At first I thought she was a bit of a bitch, but I quickly found that she was up front and said what she thought, and I liked that. I liked how
different
she was from me. She didn’t keep things bottled up like I
di
d; she was an open book.

She didn’t just distract me from Kale’s absence in my life, but helped me become more independent with her I-don’t-need-a-m
an-to-
be-happy attitude. It rubbed off on me a little – not a lot because I was still obsessed with Kale, but enough to keep me from thinking about him every second of every day.

At that point in my life, Kale and my brothers only came home on weekends from their university in London, and sometimes they missed a weekend here and there. I was still close to them, but it wasn’t the same with Kale. After our shopping day out, things changed between us. I felt like I was losing him. He was currently broken up with Drew and was off doing God knows what with God knows
who
in London, while I was stuck in York with my parents, uncle and nanny for company. If it wasn’t for Lavender coming into my life, I may have just up and died of loneliness and boredom.

“Lane,” Lavender’s voice hissed. “Let me in.”

I got to my feet and unlocked the door, stepping to the side so she could enter. I quickly relocked it, much to the displeasure of houseguests on the other side who needed to use the facilities.

“Hurry bloody up!” a voice shouted, and there was banging on the door.

“One more minute!” I called out.

I looked from the door to Lavender, and when I saw her hands were empty, my face fell.

“I’m sorry.” Lavender winced when she saw my expression. “
I tr
ied to find you something to wear, but it’s only a boy that lives here, and the girl clothes I found in his room – that I assume belong to a girlfriend – are in a size bloody
four
.”

“Shit,” I groaned, and placed my face in my hands before dropping them and looking down to my attire.

I was wearing a washed-out denim miniskirt and a black crop top that had “TEASE” printed across the front in white block
letters
. It was a stupid decision to wear such revealing clothing.
I d
idn’t like the stares or advances from random guys at the party, and I had only myself to blame.

They wouldn’t have looked twice at me if I’d worn my regular clothes, and my thick-framed glasses. At the thought of my glasses, I lifted my hands to my eyes and gently rubbed them, wincing at the sting. I was wearing a pair of contact lenses my parents had recently got me, but I hated them. They made my eyes feel very uncomfortable.

“I shouldn’t have worn these clothes,” I mumbled as I sat back down on the lid of the toilet.

Lavender was sporting a similar outfit to mine, only instead of a miniskirt she wore short shorts. Now she hunkered down as best she could next to me and placed her hands on my bare thighs.

“You look seriously hot, and you wanted to try something
different
 – there’s
no
harm in that. You don’t ever have to wear clothes like this again, or ever come to a party again, but at least you can rest assured that you did
something
teenagery in your
bookish life.”

I raised a brow. “‘Teenagery’ isn’t a word, Lav.”

“I know it’s not,” she huffed. “You’re missing the point here, Bookworm.”

Bookworm: that’s what she called me.

I chuckled. “I’m not. I hear you loud and clear, and I agree with you, but my brothers and Kale won’t.”

She grunted. “Your brothers I can understand, but Kale
cannot
rag on you for this.”

“You don’t know Kale,” I mumbled.

She stood up and stuck out her hand to me just as someone rapped on the bathroom door and shouted, “Hurry up in there!”

I placed my hands in Lavender’s and sighed as she pulled me to my feet.

“Don’t frown – we might be able to sneak out of here without being spotted,” she said with a wink.

I nodded and tried to remain optimistic.

“Just stay close to me and
don’t
look up.”

I used my free hand to salute Lavender, then followed her out of the bathroom once she opened the door. I grunted as two lads both rushed by two girls waiting in the queue for the toilet and knocked into me.

“Arseholes!” Lavender snapped at them and tugged me closer to her.

We wound around body after body of the people who littered the hallway, until we came to the top of the staircase.
I ble
w o
ut a nervous b
reath, and Lavender gave my hand a reassuri
ng squeeze
before she took the lead and began to descend the steps.

When we reached the bottom of the stairs, Lavender suddenly came to a halt, which caused me to walk straight into her back. My face hit the back of her head, and I yelped in pain. I instinctivel
y let go o
f Lavender’s hand and lifted both of mine to my throbbing nose.

“What are
you
doing here?” Lavender snapped at someone.

I heard a male chuckle. “I’m here to have a good time. No doubt you are too, dressed in
that
outfit, babygirl.”

“
Don’t
call me that!” Lavender growled.

I looked around my friend and to the person she was ready to tear apart and sighed. Daven Eanes. Lavender’s on-again – and
currently
off-again – boyfriend.

“Don’t be like that, Lav. I’m only teasing.”

Lavender grunted. “Sure you are.”

She usually loved the nickname, but because they were broken up, it hurt for her to hear him call her it. She’d told me so.

“Look,” Daven said and moved closer to my friend, “can we talk somewhere private? I miss you, babygirl. We need to hash this out; we’re meant to be together. I love you.”

Don’t fall for it, Lavender,
I willed.

“I have to leave with Lane,” Lavender replied to Daven, instead of telling him to piss off like she should have.

Daven blinked his bright grey eyes, then flicked them past
Lavender
, and after a moment they landed on me. He raised his
eyebrows
when Lavender stepped to the side, exposing me completely. I felt like I needed to take a shower when Daven lazily rolled his eyes over my body from head to toe and back up again. It made me feel dirty, and
not
in a good way.

“Lane?”
Daven said, the shock in his tone obvious. “Damn, you look
hot
.”

I did?
I mean, Lavender told me I did, but I didn’t really
believ
e her.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Lavender snapped at him, asserting her body back in front of mine.

Thank God.

“I didn’t mean it like
that
,” Daven quickly pleaded to Lavender. “I just meant she looks different from what she usually looks like, that’s all . . . You’re so gorgeous tonight, babygirl.”

Oh, please.

“You can’t really be falling for this crap, Lav,” I grumbled to Lavender, who stiffened.

Daven heard me and narrowed his eyes at me while he reached out and took Lavender’s hands in his. He refocused on her an
d sm
iled his breathtaking smile, which always captivated my po
or lovesick fri
end. I couldn’t argue that it wasn’t distracting because it was. He had a smile that made you stop and stare, and he knew it.

Daven Eanes was a bastard who used his incredibly good looks to fuck over my friend time and time again. We were constantly arguing over his lack of respect for her, and it drove Lavender insane to listen to the pair of us.

“Just give me five minutes, babygirl,” he pleaded. “I
need
to speak to you.”

I shook my head when I heard Lavender sigh, indicating she was already giving in to him before verbally saying so. She turned to face me, her eyes begging for me not to cause a scene. I ignored Daven staring at her arse, and focused on my best friend.

I rolled my eyes. “You’re going to be crying over him tomorrow, but if you want to talk to him, go ahead. I’ll wait for you.”

Relief flooded Lavender, and a bright smile took charge of her face. “I owe you one, Bookworm.”

“If my brothers catch me, you owe me
more
than one,”
I grumbled as D
aven took hold of Lavender’s hand and led her away fro
m me.

One second Lavender was right in front of me, and the next she was replaced by some tall, drunk lad who was blatantly staring at my breasts while swaying on his unsteady feet.

“Can I help you?” I asked angrily.

The lad’s hooded, bloodshot eyes flicked to mine, and he nodded as a sick-looking grin curved his mouth.

I backed up away from him and said, “Not in this lifetime, buddy.”

I intended to give him the finger, but my back hit something hard, and hands grabbed hold of my waist, bringing me to a halt.

“Easy, darling,”
his
gruff voice said.

Life could not be this cruel to me.

“Sorry,” I said in a voice that was not my own, hoping Kale wouldn’t notice that it was me who’d just backed my arse into hi
s body.

“Don’t worry about it – hey, are you okay?”

Why the hell did he have to care about
everyone
? Why couldn’t he be like a regular lad and just mind his own business? I knew the answer to my questions before I thought of them. Because Kale was caring and an all-round perfect human bei
ng – 
th
at
w
as why.

In a last feeble attempt to hide my identity, I covered my face with my hands when Kale rounded on me. “Are you sure you’re – wait a second. Drop your hands.”

He knew. I heard his voice change when something familiar about me registered in his mind. “Why?” I grumbled into my hands.

“I
better
be seeing things,” he growled. “You better not be who I think you are.”

I groaned and dropped my hands from my face down to my sides.

“Lane?”

Oh, bugger.

I should have kept my face covered; it would have saved me the torture of looking at him while he looked like a bloody Greek god. He had on dark jeans and a buttoned-up, collared blue shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. I never thought rolled-up sleeves could be so attractive on a man, but damn it, they were. He had on a beanie hat matching the dark colour of his jeans too.
I swea
r to God that the sight of him did unholy things to my lady
parts.

He. Looked. Fucking. Hot.

I stared up at him with wide eyes and found I couldn’t respond to him because my throat was clogged up with naughty proposals.
I quickly
cleared the sin from my throat, and lifting my hand to my neck, awkwardly scratched it.

“Hey, Kale.”

He drilled his bloodshot eyes into mine.

“Hey, Lane,” he growled.

I innocently smiled. “Fancy seeing you here.”

“Yeah,” he replied, his voice dangerously low. “Fancy that.”

I lowered my hand to my side and frowned. “You won’t tell my brothers that I’m here, right?”

He didn’t respond, and it made me nervous as I glanced around, making sure they weren’t in close proximity. “Kale, you’re
my
be
st f
riend
; you can’t throw me under the bus here,” I pleaded. “You know Lochlan will go crazy and embarrass me.”

Layton would just be disappointed and give me a lecture about the dangers of partying, alcohol and boys. Lochlan, on the other hand, would go insane, and if I didn’t have Layton on my side to defuse the situation, I would be toast.