Until Harry (3 page)

The waiting room to the principal’s office was quiet one minute and then loud the next as our parents arrived. I could hear my father and Kale’s arguing with multiple grown-up male voices from somewhere outside. I then heard our mothers’ voices trying to calm things down; other female voices did the same thing.

I ran to my mother when she entered the waiting room, and I sobbed as she lifted me up into the air and held me to her chest. I felt a hand press against my back, then lips brushing against the side of my head.

“Lane?” my father’s voice murmured.

I looked to him, my vision blurred from my tears.

“Are you okay?” he asked, his voice filled with concern.

I shook my head. “Jordan punched my head, and it
really
hurts.”

My father’s jaw set as he looked over his shoulder. “Deal with your kid before I do.”

Arguing started again, and the teacher who had stopped the fight entered the waiting room and had to intervene to calm everyone down. Jordan’s mother was kneeling in front of him an
d pointing
her finger at him as she told him off. His father stood next to them and glared down at Jordan, with his arms folded across his chest.

I swallowed when I spotted Kale’s parents. His daddy was next to him, checking his face; his mummy was worried as she fussed over him too, even though Kale tried to tell her he was fine. He didn’t look fine; his red and slightly swollen eyes were now blue as bruises formed on them. There was a dark bruise forming around the cut on his eyebrow and on his busted lip too. It had to hurt him, but he grinned and winked at me whenever he caught me staring.

I had to go into the principal’s office with my parents and tell him what happened. I did exactly that, and when I was
finished
,
I ha
d to sit in the waiting room with my parents as Kale,
Jordan
and Jordan’s two friends all went into the principal’s offic
e w
ith their parents. We waited for ages then, and sometimes there were raised voices, and sometimes there was crying. I knew neither came from Kale. He never cried.
Ever.
Not even when his grandmother died last year.

I was playing the game “I spy” with my daddy when Kale and his parents re-entered the waiting room. I jumped up and ran over to Kale at full speed, making him and our parents laugh. I wrapped my arms around his waist and pressed my head against his stomach as I squeezed him. He placed a hand on my shoulder and gently rubbed the back of my head with the other.

“You okay?” he asked me.

Now I am,
I silently said to myself.

I looked up at him and nodded.

“I love you,” I said, making our mothers sigh and our fathers chuckle.

Kale snickered. “I love you too, Laney Baby.”

I pressed my face into his stomach as I smiled. He was the best friend ever.

“What did the principal say?” my father asked Kale’s as we all exited the waiting room and headed out of the school.

My mum whispered that we were allowed to go home, and I thought it was really cool, because I didn’t want to go back to my class anyway.

“He understood Kale was upset and felt the need to defend Lane, but violence wasn’t the way to go about it. Kale is suspended for two days, but Jordan and his friends got a week.”

I frowned. “What’s ‘spended’ mean?” I asked, my head tilting to the side.

Kale laughed and slung his arm over my shoulder. He leaned down and whispered, “It means I get to stay in bed all day while you have to go to school.”

What?

I gasped. “No fair! I want to be spended too!”

Kale’s rich laughter filled the corridor we walked down, but he stopped when a door further down opened up and out stepped Drew with her stupid pretty red hair. Kale’s arm tensed around me, but he grinned when Drew’s gaze fell on him.

“Kale!” Drew squeaked when she spotted him, and she ran all the way down the corridor to reach him.

She really ran
all
the way.

I stepped to the side when she crashed into him and gave him a big hug. I glared hard at her and stepped back until my back pressed against my daddy’s legs. I looked up at him and noticed he was
sharing
a grin with Kale’s daddy and shaking his head. Our mummies were also smiling and shaking their heads as they observed Drew and Kale.

I don’t get it,
I thought.
Why are they happy?

“Hey, Drew,” Kale murmured into her hair as he inhaled.

I was disgusted. He sniffed her hair. I
saw
him sniff it!

Drew pulled back from the hug. “I’m
so
happy you’re okay,
I w
as worried about you.”

“You were worried about
me
?” Kale asked, his voice
disbelieving
.

“Of course,” Drew said, nodding. “Are you suspended?”

Kale shrugged, seemingly not caring. “Two days.”

I frowned. He was acting like it was no big deal.

Drew’s mouth formed into the shape of an O. “For defending your sister? That’s
so
stupid.”

“Tell me about it,” Kale chuckled, scratching the back of his neck.

Drew blushed then when she noticed my parents and Kale’s were watching the exchange. “Well, I’ll be in every day. I can get notes for you and mark chapters you will miss,” she said, and flushed so much her entire head turned the colour of a tomato. “I can bring them to you after school every day so you don’t fall behind.”

Kale’s face was red too, but he remained silent. I wanted to kick him and say no to Drew for him, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t do a thing. I was so angry, but I had no idea why.

“That’d be great . . . Drew, is it?” Kale’s mummy said after Kale still hadn’t replied to her.

Drew looked at Kale’s mummy and nodded, smiling shyly. “Yes, my name is Drew.”

“Pretty name.” Kale’s mummy smiled.

Drew’s face flushed some more, and she murmured, “Thank you.”

She then cleared her throat and looked down to her hands.
I on
ly then noticed she was carrying a sheet of paper with a bunch of different words on it.

“I’ve got to get this photocopied for my teacher, so I better go, but I’ll keep one for you, Kale, and make extra notes. I’ll bring them to you today after school – is that okay?” Drew asked, her eyes hopeful.

“Yes,” Kale instantly replied, then cleared his throat. “I mean, yeah, sure, that’d be cool. Whatever.”

Kale’s daddy and mine began to snort, and it caused Kale to tense up.

“Okay, great. I know where you live, so I’ll see you later.” She leaned in and kissed Kale’s cheek.

She
kissed
it!

She flicked her eyes to me then and said, “I hope you’re okay too, Lane.”

She said bye to us all then and, walking around us, went on her way down the hallway. Kale didn’t move, so his daddy shoved him forward and laughed. “Smooth, son.
Real
smooth.”

Kale was still red in the face but playfully shoved his dad
dy back.

“Shut up,” he mumbled, a smile tugging at his lips.

I glowered at the exchange, and my mummy noticed. She nudged Kale’s mummy, and both of them looked at me and smiled. They were weird like that, always smiling at me when I was looking at Kale. It freaked me out, but I never said anything because they were old, and I wanted them to be happy.

“Kale,” Kale’s mummy murmured, and jerked her head in my direction.

Kale looked at me and blinked when he saw my expression.

“Why’re you angry?” he asked, frowning.

I didn’t know why I was angry other than that Drew annoyed me, but I didn’t want to tell him that.

“My head hurts,” I replied.

I wasn’t lying; it did hurt, just not as much as my chest
suddenly did.

Kale walked over to me and slung his arm back around my shoulder. “We can watch films with our mums and eat ice cream when we go home. Will that help?”

I forgot about everything.

My sore head.

My aching chest.

Drew.

Kale calling her beautiful, smiling at her and acting so differently around her.

I focused on thoughts of playing with Kale and watching films for the rest of the day. I leaned into him and smiled, making everyone chuckle. He knew my response was a silent whopping
yes
.

“Come on then, let’s go.” He beamed and removed his arm from around my shoulder only to reach down and grasp my hand with his. “We have films to watch, Laney Baby.”

I held onto Kale’s hand tightly and smiled with delight as we left our school. I loved spending time with him, and I loved when he called me Laney Baby. I loved everything about Kale, and I knew that I always would.

He was my best friend, my best not-really big brother and my best protector. He was my best everything. He was
mine
.

CHAPTER THREE

Day one in York

M
y heart was pounding against my chest, and my hands got sticky with sweat.

He called me Laney Baby,
my mind whispered.
Kale Hunt is standing in front of me in the flesh, and he called me Laney Baby.

I felt like I was thrust back into my early years when things were okay with us, when things weren’t . . . arduous. I forced that knowledge to the very back of my mind and willed myself to calm down. I refused to appear as flustered and unprepared for this meeting as I truly was. I knew coming back here heightened the possibilities of running into Kale; I just hadn’t realised it would happen ten minutes after I stepped foot through my
parents
’ fro
nt door.

“How are you?” I asked after a long stretch of silence, my voice formal.

Kale’s lips thinned to a line. “I’m good, kid. You?”

Kid.
I wanted to growl that I wasn’t a damn kid any more, but I didn’t. I somehow kept my composure.

“I’ve” – I glanced at my uncle’s coffin, then back to Kale – “been better.”

He frowned and nodded in understanding. “It’s good to have you home.”

Was it?
a voice in my head taunted.

“Thanks,” I replied, then lied through my teeth. “It’s good to be back.”

It wasn’t good to be back.

It was absolute torture standing here and acting like I wasn’t hurting all over again. Like my heart didn’t kick into overdrive at the mere sight of him, like my palms didn’t itch as they ached to touch him, like my knees didn’t shake to keep from walking to him, like shivers didn’t dance up and down my spine upon hearing his husky voice, like my lips didn’t want to fucking
devour
his until there was nothing left in existence but the two of us.

It’s only for a few days,
I quickly reminded myself.
You can d
o this.

I remained mute as my family suggested we go into the sitting room so we could “talk”. I went with them because I needed to be away from my uncle for a few moments to gather my thoughts.
I w
as devastated over him, and ripped apart at seeing Kale, and if I didn’t leave the room soon and refocus, I feared I would have a nervous breakdown.

I was the last to enter the sitting room, so I sat on the lounge chair across from everyone else on the huge L-shaped sofa where Lochlan already sat, scowling at me. I pretended not to notice him, even though I was hyper aware of his gaze on me.

My brothers, like my mum and uncle, were fraternal twins, and they had a similar close bond, though they were the polar opposites of one another. Lochlan was temperamental, whereas Layton was calm-headed; their differences balanced them out. I greatly appreciated Layton when Lochlan got angry with me because the thing about my brother was that I could never ignore him when he was mad with me, mainly because he nev
er l
et me get away with anything, which apparently had followed us into ad
ulthood.

Everyone sat on that sofa with my pissed-off brother except Layton. He slid onto the lounge chair next to me and put his arm around me. I smiled because he was big with muscle, and his sharing the chair with me just squashed my body into his. I didn’t
complain
, though, I loved the closeness. I had missed this. I had missed him.

Layton was the true peacekeeper in our family, and the only reason I didn’t see eye-to-eye with him was because he didn’t like me living abroad. He feared for my safety and thought it was cruel of me to disregard my family’s concern for me. He made it clear how much he would miss me when I was away and how much he flat-out hated that I chose to live so far away, but unlike
Lochlan
, he brooded in the comfort of his own mind after I made it clear I couldn’t come back home. Layton suffered in silence, and he took his silence
seriously
, which is why we never spoke after I left, unless I was wishing a family member a happy birthday or merry
Christmas
.

Things were rosy right now because I was home, and my family were glad to see me, but it didn’t change the fact that we had problems. There was a reason I’d only spoken to my uncle. He was the only person who didn’t threaten me or guilt me into coming home; everyone else did with no remorse.

They didn’t understand that I
needed
to be away from home. They knew
why
I needed to be away – they just didn’t
get
why. My decision to leave abruptly ended day-to-day communications between us. It sucked not speaking to them. I missed them terribly, but I was just as stubborn as my family and fought their anger and hurt with my own. It resulted in a barrier of silence that only my uncle’s death had been able to break through.

I leaned my head back against Layton’s shoulder and hummed with content when he leaned his head on mine. “God,” I murmured, “I missed you, Lay.”

He kissed the crown of my head. “Missed you too, darling.”

I snuggled into him and listened to everyone as they spoke about mundane things. I made a point not to look at Kale, who was on the far end of the sofa, well away from me. I didn’t need to look at him to know he was there, though. I could feel his presence.
I was
always aware of when he was close by; it was like my body had a sixth sense designed specifically for him.

I glanced to the sitting room door when the blonde woman and her brunette friend I met upon entering my parents’ house walked by and out of the house, closing the door behind them.

“Who are they?” I inquired, finding it bizarre that two strangers were just walking around the house like it was nobody’s business.

Layton turned his head and said, “Samantha Wright is the brunette, and Ally Day is the blonde.”

I knew the second girl’s name – I was sure I did. I thought about it for a minute, and then like the snap of my fingers, the name clicked in my head. I blinked and stared around the room dumbly.

“Ally Day?” I quizzed. “The Ally Day who convinced me, along with her evil friend, that I was fat and ugly when I was younger . . .
that
Ally Day?”

Everyone froze as they looked at me.

“People change, Lane,” Layton murmured, making sure to keep his arm tightly around me, like he was afraid I would bolt. “She’s not the mean girl she was when she was a kid.”

Was that supposed to be comforting?
I angrily thought.

I swallowed the sudden lump that formed in my throat. “You didn’t suffer like I did because of her and Anna O’Leary,”
I sa
id, fighting to keep composure. “I was self-conscious for a long time because of those two. Do you know how many times I wished I looked like anyone other than myself just so I could feel like a
regular
girl?”

I was met with silence, so I balled my hands into fists as annoyance filled me.

“Why the hell was she even here?” I snapped, feeling exasperated they would even let her into the house after the hurt she
cause
d me.

My nanny sighed. “She works for me, in the café.”

Stunned speechless, I could not get past my incredulity over what I was hearing.

“Lane,” my nanny prompted when I stared at her blankly, blinking. “Are you okay?”

I couldn’t respond to that in a way that wouldn’t have her smacking me around the head.

“So you’re recruiting staff from the forces of evil?” I asked,
staring
icily. “Nice, Nanny,
real
nice.”

My nanny brooded in silence, and it gave me some much-needed time to think. I couldn’t believe I didn’t recognise Ally at first. The last time I’d seen her was when we left secondary school nearly a decade ago. I heard she’d moved to London, but she w
as ob
viously back in York and working in my nanny’s café of a
ll places!

I loved that café, and now it would forever feel tainted to me.

“Do I know the brunette?” I questioned, my jaw set.

“Yeah,” Lochlan answered me with a snarky tone. “She was in your school year, but you never hung around with her. She works i
n N
anny’s café too. They are our
friends
.”

I couldn’t remember a Samantha Wright, so I didn’t dwell on her; instead, I focused on Ally bloody Day.

“I just can’t believe you’re all friendly with Ally Day. Do you invite Anna O’Leary over for tea on the weekends too?” I sarcastically asked.

My father clucked his tongue at me. “You sound like a
child
,
Lane.”

He was right; I was being bratty and rude. It was uncalled for and not needed, but I was hurt they could just forget what Ally had done to me. They’d seen first-hand what I’d gone through because of her; I didn’t understand how they could just get over that.

I glowered at him. “Good thing you only have to put up with me for a few days then, isn’t it?”

It was a low blow, throwing my departure in his face when I’d just arrived, but I couldn’t help it. It slipped out before I could stop myself.

“What do you mean a
few days
?” my mother snapped, speaking for the first time since we embraced in the parlour. “When are you leaving?”

I avoided direct eye contact with her as I softly muttered, “
Sunday
night.”

“Lane!” my family bellowed in unison.

I guess we’re over pleasantries.

“I
have
to go back,” I countered, trying to defend myself. “
I have
to work!”

“You’re a freelance editor,” Lochlan growled, barely able to hold his sitting position on the sofa. “Once you have Internet access, you’re solid to work wherever you are!”

I couldn’t think of anything to say in response because he was right, so I remained quiet.

“Lane,” my nanny said. “Kitchen. Now.”

I watched as my nanny got up and walked out of the sitting room, her body tensing with each step she took. “Crap,” I grumbled as I got to my feet and followed her into the kitchen, my eyes cast downward. I felt like I was little again, and she was about to tell m
e off.

I entered the kitchen and saw she was already seated at the kitchen table, so I walked over and sat across from her. I clasped my hands together on the surface of the table in front of me and stared down at them with intent.

“You’re me granddaughter, and I love ye with all me heart,” my nanny started, “but sometimes I want ta just whack ye with a common-sense stick right across that beautiful head of yours.”

Trust my nanny to keep things real.

“I’m sorry,” I said, hoping it would dampen her burning
temper
.

“Sorry isn’t good enough,” she clipped, then lowered her voice. “Me baby died, Lane. Your uncle
died
. . . and ye just want ta up and leave a day after we put ’im to rest? That’s not me grandbaby – 
she
wouldn’t do that.”

Your grandbaby died a long time ago,
a cruel voice in my head taunted.

Burning pain filled my chest. I glanced up to my nanny before quickly looking away from her aged but still graceful face. I saw my Uncle Harry when I looked at her; they shared the same aqua-blue eyes, high cheekbones and button nose. My brothers and I had inherited the very same features too.

“I can’t stay here,” I murmured, and took another glimpse up at her. “You know why.”

My nanny shook her head, disappointment crossing her features. “That’s not good enough, and ye bloody well know it,” she remarked. “Ye have ta act like the twenty-six-year-old woman ye are and push your issues with Kale ta the side and focus on Harry.
He
doesn’t deserve ta be pushed aside, Lane.
You
of all people kno
w that.”

I felt horrible as I let what my nanny said sink in. I really did deserve to be whacked around with a common-sense stick. How could I have ever thought my leaving right away would be a good idea for anybody? My family would be heartbroken, and so would I.

I couldn’t be here and remain sane, but I couldn’t leave either without losing my mind, so close after my uncle’s death.
I d
idn’t win either way, but the latter meant my conscience would b
e clear.

“I’ll . . . you’re right,” I acknowledged. “Uncle Harry deserves more than a brush-off. I’ll stay longer. I’ll help with whatever needs helping. I promise.”

My nanny reached over and took my hands in hers, rubbing her fingertips back and forth over my knuckles.

“Ye can help me and your ma clear out his house after we meet with his solicitor on Monday,” she said, sighing. “We have so much ta sort through, but we have ta hear the contents of Harry’s will before we can start a clean-out.”

I blinked, dumbly. “Uncle Harry had a will?”

My nanny nodded. “Yeah, we all have a will, silly.”

I don’t,
I thought.

My nanny snorted at my facial expression. “By ‘all’ I mean Harry, your parents, and me . . . because we’re old and can kick it at any given time.”

“Nanny!” I choked. “Don’t talk like that. You aren’t going
anywhere
.”

I hoped not, anyway. My heart couldn’t handle it if anyone else were to die.

My nanny smiled lovingly at me as she reached out and brushed her fingertips over my knuckles once more. She did this to me often when I was younger to relax me, and it seemed to still have a calming effect on me. It was nice to know that hadn’t changed.

I remained silent for a few moments, but when I looked back at my nanny, I saw she was gazing at me. “What is it?” I inquired.

She blinked and without missing a beat she said, “I want ye home every Christmas.”

Not a question. Not a request. A demand.

I sat motionless. “Nanny—”