Until the Sun Burns Out (9 page)

And he’d already been here several days. In that timeframe he could’ve met this girl. Perhaps he’d tired of waiting for me. Or maybe he never planned to wait for me at all.

Our relationship had been puzzling to me all along. He was hot. Like ridiculously hot. He could have any girl he wanted. And the girl he was with now seemed more his type than I did. Still, it hurt.

Desperate, I grabbed my cover up out of the sand and shook it out. Some sand blew in my face, and I blinked repeatedly to keep the grainy pebbles out of my eyes. There was no way I could stay out here now. I couldn’t watch him with that girl, and I certainly couldn’t face him. Hurriedly putting back on my cover up, I slid my feet in my flip-flops and stood up. Then, with my head down, I practically ran back to my dad’s house. Only when I was safely inside, did I allow the tears of disappointment to slip down my cheeks.

Three days.

That’s how long we’d been here, and still no word from Austin. Dad had taken us to the beach, out to dinner, even into town. But I hadn’t seen Austin again. Nor had I seen his new summer girl. They were probably off together somewhere. I was trying my best to forget about it and make the most of my trip, but it was a losing battle. Spending time with Austin had been what I was looking forward to. I’d been anxious about it for months. It’s not that I wasn’t happy to see Dad, but Austin was the main reason I’d been excited to come back.

I hadn’t been able to get our kiss out of my head. Ever since that night, it was all I could think about. I’d spent months daydreaming about it, and I’d been hoping we could do it again.

The competitive side of me wanted to meet another guy. One that I could flaunt in front of Austin’s face. So that’s what I’d been doing today at the beach. I’d been lying out on my towel in my bikini throwing seductive glances at the other boys.

Dad still hadn’t said anything about the bathing suit. I could tell he hated it though, by the unsavory looks he kept tossing my way as he and Luca played Frisbee near the shore. It was the same look he’d been giving me for days. Still I was grateful that he hadn’t asked me to get rid of it.

It didn’t take long for one of the boys to take the bait. I knew this bikini had magical powers. The boy had only been here a short time. I’d seen him arrive with friends a few minutes ago. But when he spotted me, he immediately swaggered over. It was obvious that he thought he was cool by his walk, his half-smile and the wink he threw me.

“Hey,” he said.

“Hey,” I parroted him, because I had no idea what else to say. This whole flirting thing was new to me.

“You alone?” His gaze shifted around.

It was an odd question, but I answered it honestly. “I’m here with my dad and brother, but they’re off playing Frisbee.”

“Cool.” He smiled. “I’m James.”

He didn’t offer his hand. In fact, it was locked securely in his pocket as if it were glued there. “Mina,” I said.

“That’s different.”

I hated when people said that, but I forced my lips to curve upward.

“Wanna go for a swim?” he asked.

Smiling, I envisioned the entire scenario. James and I would be playing out in the waves when Austin and his blond bimbo arrived at the beach. Austin would spot me out in the water, and at just that moment James would say something funny and I’d throw my head back in laughter. Since Austin thought he was the funniest guy in the world, this would cause him to seethe with jealousy. Biting my lip, I nodded.

“Sweet.” His gaze roamed my scantily-clad body, a slow smile spreading across his face. When I caught him openly staring at my chest, the whole thing felt wrong. I didn’t want to meet a guy this way. And, honestly, I wasn’t sure I wanted to hang out with this guy at all. The beauty of my relationship with Austin was that it happened organically. It was like fate. Like we were meant to meet and become friends. Nothing felt forced or manipulated. Besides, I didn’t want to hang out with a guy merely as a means to make Austin jealous. If I made another friend, I wanted it to be someone I could see myself having fun with. And not the kind of fun I imagined James was hoping we’d have.

I guess that’s what I got for wearing this skimpy bikini and trying to act like someone I wasn’t.

“Actually.” I bit my lip. “I think I’ll just stay here.”

“Oh.” James smile reversed into a frown.

“Sorry,” I muttered.

He shrugged. “No problem. See ya around.”

But I knew I wouldn’t see him around. And if I did, I was sure he’d ignore me. After he left, I exhaled and leaned back. Closing my eyes, I allowed the warmth of the sun to beat down on my face.

“Mina?”

My eyelids flipped open at the sound of his voice. “Austin,” I breathed out, startled that he was standing over me.

“You’re here,” he spoke slowly, as if confused.

I peered up at him, shielding my eyes with my hand. “Sure looks like it,” I quipped, and this elicited a familiar smile from him. My heart pinched.

He glanced at my suit, and my face heated up. “You look…good. Really good.” He paused, his lips twitching. “A little different.”

“You too,” I said.

“Although, I’m a little surprised that your dad let you out of the house in that.” He raised one eyebrow the same way he always did when joking.

I giggled. “Honestly, I am too.” It was like we’d gone back in time. While my conversation with James had been uncomfortable, this was as easy as breathing. For a moment, it felt like we could fall right back into where we’d left off.

“Did you just get here?” he asked, and that’s when I remembered that he’d been here over a week already. And not only had he not contacted me, but he was traipsing around with some other girl.

I shook my head. “No. We got in a few days ago.”

“Oh.” His eyebrows knitted together.

“But I’ve been busy, you know?” I lied, not wanting him to think I was sitting around waiting on him, since clearly he hadn’t been waiting on me.

His eyes darkened. “I see. Well, why don’t you let me know when you’re not so busy, okay?” With a defeated look, he spun around. “See ya later, summer girl.”

“Mina,” I corrected him.

He peered over his shoulder, a question in his eyes. “What?”

“You should probably call me Mina. That way you won’t get confused.”

“I’m confused right now.” Turning to face me, he cocked his head to the side.

“I saw you with that girl the other day. You two were playing volleyball.”

“Krista?”

Sighing, I said, “I don’t know. I didn’t stop to ask her name.”

“Krista’s a friend of my sister’s. She came up to see if my sister was here. When I told her she wasn’t, she told me that they were short a player for volleyball. I joined them because I didn’t think you were here yet.” He paused, his gaze crashing into mine. “You hadn’t called or texted me.”

There was a sadness in his voice that surprised me. But it also irritated me too. He was the one who got here first. Didn’t the phone lines go both ways? “You hadn’t either.”

“Yes, I had.” His tone was so sure that it caused doubt to take root. Had he texted me? Had I somehow missed it?

But there was no way. I’d combed through my text messages so many times that I had them all memorized. Not to mention that I’d scanned my missed calls repeatedly too. He hadn’t tried to get in touch with me. I was sure of it.

“When?” I finally asked, knowing I had him.

“Every time we’ve texted or talked on the phone it’s been because of me,” he said, emotion thick in his voice.

“I’ve texted you.”

“Yeah.” He nodded, but his anger was undeniable. “You’re good about texting me back, but tell me one time you’ve initiated contact.”

I stood there, dumbfounded.

“C’mon, I’m only asking for one time. Surely you can come up with that.”

Pressing my lips together, I racked my brain, but came up empty.

“You can’t think of one, can you?” he asked. “I sought you out. I hung out with you for months. Hell, I kissed you. And then I reached out to you for weeks after the summer ended.” He ran a hand through his hair. “The truth is, I couldn’t get you out of my head. I thought about you all the time.” His gaze dropped to his feet. “I just wanted to know that you felt the same way. So I stopped texting, and I waited to hear from you.”  When he lifted his head to look at me, I felt sick. “But I never did.” He backed away from me. “And then I find you on the beach wearing the sexiest bikini I’ve ever seen talking to some strange guy.” A sad smile flickered on his face. “I’m glad you’re enjoying your summer so far. Try not to stay too
busy
.” With a quick nod of his head, he pivoted on his heels and stalked off.

I wanted to call after him, but the words lodged in my throat. Instead, I stood mutely watching him walk away. In all the scenarios I imagined about seeing Austin again, I could honestly say that I never thought it would go like that. He’d finally seen me in my bikini, and he seemed to like it. Also, he’d confessed his feelings for me. In some ways it was everything I wanted.

Only it wasn’t.

I’d never wanted to hurt him.

Once Austin was out of sight, I trudged back to Dad’s house. Defeated, I locked myself in my bedroom and curled up under the covers on my bed. Like a spoiled child, I wished I could stay there indefinitely.

Dad knocked on my door several times, but he couldn’t coax me out. Not even when he offered food. He knew I was upset about Austin, but I didn’t tell him why. I was too embarrassed. As I lie in the bed, sweat covering my body, I heard my phone ping from where it sat on my nightstand. Irrationally, I thought it was Austin.

But it was Grace, which made more sense. Why would Austin text me now? I’d never seen him so pissed.

Grace: Have you talked to him yet?

Rolling over on my stomach, I typed back.

Me: Yes.

Grace: How did it go?

Me: Terrible.

She called exactly like I figured she would.

“Hey,” I answered.

“Tell me everything,” she said, skipping formalities.

So I did. I spilled the entire story.

“And what are you doing now?” She asked when I finished.

“I’m sitting in my room.”

“What? Why?”

I paused, wondering if I needed to repeat the story.

“Mina, he practically begged you to make the next move. He couldn’t have spelled it out more for you if he’d drawn a picture.”

Pulse quickening, I sat up in bed, flinging off the covers. She was right. The ball was in my court. Why was I holed up in my room feeling sorry for myself instead of proving to Austin that he was wrong about me? He’d told me what I needed to do.

“Clearly I did need a picture,” I joked.

“Or a bestie to knock some sense into you.”

I giggled. “If only you didn’t enjoy it so much.”

Grace’s chuckle flitted through the line. “All right. Go get him, girl.”

I took a deep breath. “I’ll do my best.”

“Call me later to tell me how it goes.”

“I will,” I promised, before hanging up.

Then I opened up my texts and scrolled to Austin’s name. With shaky fingers, I clicked on it and swiftly typed a message with my thumbs.

Me: Hey.

Staring down at it, I shook my head.
Hey?
What kind of message was that? He poured his heart out to me, and all I could come up with was ‘hey’? I blew out a breath and deleted it. Biting my lip, I thought long and hard, but I couldn’t think of one witty thing to text him.

After mulling over the words he’d said to me, a thought sparked.

Me: I’m initiating contact now.

Nerves swarmed me as I hit send. Barely able to breathe, I held the phone tightly in my palm and awaited a response. When it came, I almost jumped out of my skin.

Austin: Good for you.

My heart dipped, my head spinning with confusion.

Me: I thought that was what you wanted.

Austin: I didn’t issue you a challenge, summer girl.

Man, I wished he didn’t know me so well.

Dropping the phone onto the bed, I realized this wasn’t working. I couldn’t convey how I felt in a text. Besides, texts could be misconstrued. I leapt off the bed and scurried to the mirror. I looked like crap, my hair disheveled, my face sweaty and red. It took a half an hour to make myself presentable. But once I did, I headed out of my room.

Dad smiled at the sight of me. He and Luca were playing a game of cards in the family room.  “Look who decided to join the land of the living. Wanna play a game?”

I shook my head. “Um…no… actually I’m going to run an errand.”

Dad’s head bounced up, an amused expression cloaking his face. “An errand?’

“Yeah,” I said, running my palms down the front of my sundress. That was another thing that had changed about me. I wore dresses more often now. They weren’t only reserved for upscale restaurants or church the way they used to be. Nothing fancy. Just t-shirt dresses or casual sundresses.  But they made me feel feminine and pretty, and I needed that tonight.

“This errand wouldn’t involve a certain boy, would it?” Dad sat up straighter, tenting his fingers. “Name starts with an A…”

Luca giggled.

I glared. “Fine. You got me.”

Dad smiled. “You can take my car.”

My heart lifted. “Really?”

“Your mom says you’re a good driver.”

I didn’t know if I’d go that far. Last time I picked up milk for her at the grocery store I ran over a curb in the parking lot. Then again, she didn’t know that.

“Thanks, Dad.” He threw me his keys, and I caught them in my palm. The edges of the keys poked my gentle flesh, so I readjusted them.

“Have fun.” Dad winked as I headed out the front door.

I nodded, unsure if I would or not. But I knew I was sure going to try.

***

On the drive to Austin’s my palms were sweating and my heart was hammering so fast I feared I’d have a heart attack. I white-knuckled the steering wheel, using all my strength to keep the car straight. Still my hands sometimes slipped off, so I had to wipe them alternately on my dress to dry them. Not only was I nervous about what I planned to do, but also about seeing Austin’s family. They weren’t exactly friendly toward me.

Pulling up to his house, I parked along the curb. Lights illuminated every window, and I detected movement inside. It appeared they were all home.
Perfect.
I could already picture his mom’s pursed lips and his dad’s disapproving stare. It was enough to make me want to turn around and head back to Dad’s. But I couldn’t do that. Not if I had any hope of rectifying my relationship with Austin.

After giving myself a silent peptalk, I cut the engine and stepped out of the vehicle. At home the evenings were crisp and chilly. Mom liked to open up the windows in order to cool the house. But here it was warm, even at night. The faint smell of saltwater lingered in the air as I made my way up the front walkway.

Shaking out my hands, I mustered up every ounce of courage I had inside of me. Then I reached up and rapped on the front door. In my gusto I did it a little too hard, and it stung my knuckles. Hissing, I lowered my hand. When the door swung open, I sucked in a breath.

“Mina?”

At the sight of Austin, relief filled me.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, his gaze shifting around as if he was trying to locate his parents.

I swallowed hard. “Um…I just…well, I couldn’t say what I needed to in a text, so…” I paused, internally scolding myself for sounding like a rambling idiot. “Can I just have a minute?”

He hesitated, and panic took root in my gut. But then he slowly nodded. “Yeah. Okay.”

“Who is it, Austin?” His mom’s voice rang out.

“It’s a friend. I’ll be in in a minute,” he called back before swiftly closing the front door and walking toward me.

At least he called me a friend. I knew it didn’t mean anything. Just a way to get his mom off his back, but for some reason it buoyed my confidence a little.

“So…what did you want to say?” He was still so serious and abrupt with me. I hated that. One of the main things I loved about Austin was how he always seemed at ease. This side of him made me sad.

“I didn’t want to say anything.” His head snapped up, his expression dubious. Before he could ask me what I meant by that, I stepped forward.
It was now or never
. “I came to do something…” I took a deep breath, and then bridged the gap between us. “This.”

Reaching up a shaky hand, I placed it on his face the same way he’d done with me. Then I angled my face and moved nearer to him. His eyes widened, and a part of me feared he was going to shove me away, tell me to get lost. I couldn’t let that happen. Desperation blossoming in my chest, I clutched tightly to his face and swiftly pressed my lips to his. I hadn’t had time to think through what I’d do next, so I allowed instinct to take over. Bringing my other hand up, I touched the opposite side of his face. Then I moved my mouth over his, softly at first. But when his arms circled my waist, drawing me so close that our chests bumped, I began moving a little faster, our lips connecting and then drawing back, only to find one another once again.  I remembered that last time he used his tongue, so this time I thrust my tongue out. Not much coaxing was needed. His mouth opened almost immediately, allowing my tongue entry. Then his tongue found mine, and they tangled together. His fingers played with the ends of my hair, his palms splayed against my spine. A shudder ran through me.

This time we found our rhythm quicker than last time, and before I knew it we were kissing as if we’d always been doing this. As if this was our hundredth kiss, and not our second. All of the fears I’d felt on the way over disappeared. In Austin’s caress, I could feel that he cared for me, and I hoped that he could feel it from me too. I did my best to show him what he meant to me with my mouth and with my hands.

I may not have taken the initiative before, but I was now.