Untitled Book 2 (29 page)

I struggle to get comfortable in the single seat, until suddenly I'm lifted into Ranger's arms. He sits down on the larger couch, and places me next to him, pointing to his thigh. “Best pillow in the house.”

I smile sleepily and lay my head on his thigh.

I'm out in an instant.

I
'M
a little drunk when Talon calls me back. He says that Shay is safe, and maybe give her a day to herself before I try to talk to her. I thank him and hang up, throwing my phone against the wall. Arrow sits next to me and eyes me drinking straight from the bottle but doesn't say anything. He's been here before. There was a time no one even bothered to pour him anything into a glass.

“So Shay's pregnant,” he says, always one to get straight to the point. “And you're here drinking because you never wanted kids and don't know what the fuck to do now?”

“That sums it up, pretty much,” I say, twirling the amber liquid in the bottle, then taking another mouthful. I look down at Colt, who is sitting at my feet asleep, probably missing Shay just as much as I am. “I don't know how to be a father. I'm not even sure that I like children, and now I'm going to have one.”

“I've seen you with Clover, Cara, and Rhett, so I don't think any of that is true,” he murmurs, studying me a little too intensely. “You're amazing with them. Faye always lets you babysit—do you think she'd let you do that if you're not good
with her daughter? She's a psycho when it comes to Clover. So why don't you think about that? It's all in your head, Vinnie. You've convinced yourself that you don't want kids and that you'll be a shit father, and that any kid will be better off without you, but it's all bullshit. Everyone else sees it from a whole fuckin' different perspective, because we know how good a man you are. I think you need to get off your ass, put the bottle down, and go and fight for your family.”

“It's not as simple as that.”

“Nothing ever is,” he replies, standing up and resting his hand on my shoulder. “At least nothing ever worth it is. You know where to find me if you need me.”

He leaves the game room, and I'm once again alone to feel sorry for myself. Is he right though? Am I being my own worst enemy, is it all in my head? Can I be a father? I rest my forehead on the table, close my eyes, and picture Shay, her stomach big and round, her cheeks flushed. Who will look after her? Who will protect her? Who will keep her off the roads so it's safe for everyone?

And who will help her raise that baby, if not me? Another man? I think fuckin' not. Fuck, what am I doing? This baby is my responsibility too—Shay shouldn't be alone. I've been acting like a total dick, just like Faye said.

Shay is mine, for better or for worse, and I'm hers, so she's just going to have to deal with me. Now I just have to make her forgive me, make her come back home where she belongs. I realize one thing, I can break the cycle and try to become a father to this child, make sure he or she knows that they are loved, or I can be like my own father, the one I've never met or known. The one who decided to give up on me before he even knew me,
before he gave me a chance. I don't want to be that guy. I don't want Shay to be a single mother because I wasn't man enough to step up. I don't want this baby to wonder why, for even a second, his father didn't want him.

I need to go to her.

I stand up but then stumble, the alcohol hitting me.

I sit back down.

I'll be going to get what's mine, but first, I need to sober my ass up.

*  *  *

I wake up to water being thrown on my face.

“What the fuck,” I growl, wiping my eyes and opening them to look up into Faye's, Anna's, and Lana's angry gazes.

Fuck.

“This is an intervention,” Faye states, then looks to me and says, “I always wanted to give someone else one, and this is my chance.”

I remember when Faye was pregnant with Clover, the men held an intervention over her OCD.

“I don't need a fuckin' intervention. I'm not breaking into people's rooms to clean them, like you were.”

Anna and Lana both snicker at that.

“This isn't about me, this is about you, and the fact that you're asleep on the game room floor, like a drunken bum, while Shay has spent the entire day with Ranger, who, if you didn't know, is one of the hottest men any of us have ever seen.”

Wait, what?

I sit up and narrow my eyes. “How do you know this?”

“We spoke to her,” Faye says, wrinkling her nose at me. “You
need to take a shower, because you smell like alcohol, and go talk to your woman. She's beautiful, brave, and smart, and I'm sure Ranger has noticed all these things. Do you really want your child to be raised by the Wild Men?”

I see red as that image comes to me.

“Exactly,” Anna adds, offering me her hand to get up. “If you don't make things right, you'll regret it, Vinnie. And Shay needs you right now. You're meant to be a team, but you've bailed and she's carrying the heavy load.”

“Literally,” Lana says, making the women giggle in amusement together.

“Where is she?” I ask them, taking Anna's hand and getting off the floor. My head hurts, and I'm pretty sure I'm still a little drunk, but I've waited too long as it is. I need to find Shay and tell her that I love her, and that I'm sorry. Yeah—I'm fuckin' sorry for being so selfish.

“I'm not sure—Talon has put her somewhere. A house, it sounds like. She's not at their clubhouse,” Faye says, typing on her phone. “I'll message Shay and ask her if maybe we can come over to see her too. She said she's missing Colt and wants him, so I'm sure if you bring her him, she'd be in a much better mood than if you walked in without him.”

She was missing Colt, but no mention of missing me?

It hits me just how badly I've fucked up, how much Shay must be hurting right now because of me. I've been such a dick that she actually left me, without even talking about it first, because she knew exactly how I'd react. And I did react that way; she'd been right. If she'd told me herself, who knew what shit I'd have said in the moment, shit I wouldn't have been able to take back.

“I'm going to take a shower,” I say, looking at the three women. “Try to find out where she is, if not I'll call Talon and tell him I'll show up at his fuckin' clubhouse if he doesn't tell me her location.”

“What are you going to do?” Faye asks, looking wary. “You can't show up there alone, are you crazy? I know Talon wouldn't hurt you, but what about the others?”

“Take Arrow with you,” Anna says, pulling out her phone. “You can't go alone, Vinnie. Otherwise we'll follow you there. I think we'd be great backup, and we always miss out on the action.”

“I'm going to bring my new gun,” Faye says, rubbing her hands together.

“You're pregnant,” Lana reminds her. “You aren't going anywhere.”

“None of you are going anywhere,” I yell, losing my temper. “I'm going alone, and that's final. I'm not even taking Colt. If she wants him, she can come back here where she belongs to get him.”

I leave them standing there staring at me and jump in the shower. I get dressed quickly, then call Talon and tell him I'm coming. He gives me the address, but says that if Shay wants me to go, I have to. I agree, even though I won't be giving up that easily, and get on my bike. The ride takes me twenty minutes, and I think about what I'm going to say the whole way. It isn't something easy to talk about—the things that ran through my mind when I found out she's pregnant aren't things she needs to know or things that I'll ever say out loud.

No, I won't be telling her those thoughts, just the ones after.

I just hope that she will forgive me.

T
HE
familiar rumble of a bike has me looking at Talon with narrowed eyes.

“Told you he'd come,” he says, standing and walking to the front door. He opens it and we both watch as Vinnie walks up the pathway. “Do you want me to stay or leave the two of you alone?”

“Alone, if you don't mind,” I tell my cousin. The things that are going to come out definitely don't need to be heard by a third party.

“Call me if you need me. I'll wait close by,” he says, kissing my temple.

“Thanks, Talon,” I tell him, truly grateful to have him in my life. “I don't know what I'd do without you.”

His green eyes soften, then harden as they land on Vinnie. I step away from the door and walk into the living room, and Vinnie follows me. I hear Talon close the front door as he leaves. Here we are, the moment I knew would come, but one that I've feared the outcome. He came for me, yes, but he sure did
take his time. He must have been conflicted. Or maybe he knew what he wanted, he just didn't know how to tell me because it's bad news. Or maybe he's just angry at me for leaving. I don't know, but I'm about to find out.

“How are you?” he asks, gesturing for me to sit down.

I do so and want to tell him we don't need to bother with the small talk, instead reply with a polite, “Fine, thank you.”

“You left,” he says, voice catching. “Without a word. You acted like you'd be there that night, then just bailed.”

I know that he knows about the pregnancy, because Faye admitted she told him so, but it looks like he's working up to the subject.

“I didn't know what else to do,” I admit, wringing my hands together. “I panicked. I felt alone, Vinnie, and yes, I just bailed. I honestly didn't know what else to do.”

And he didn't come after me. Maybe that's what I was hoping for, but he didn't come after me straightaway. Probably because he heard about the baby and reacted just how I thought he would.

“You left because you didn't want to tell me about the baby, because you thought I'd what . . . tell you to get rid of it?” he asks, brown eyes sad, pain etched across his face. Why was the pain there? Because I was wrong or because I was right?

I decide to be painfully honest and just put everything out there.

“In my mind, I had three options, Vinnie. Have an abortion and not be able to look myself in the mirror; to keep you, stay with you, and have you resent and grow to hate me and possibly even the child; or leave and have this baby on my own. I chose option three.”

He looks away from me, and I see his throat work as he swallows. “Fuck, Shay. I've been such an asshole. I want you to know that I'm so sorry, I'm sorry you couldn't come to me with this, I'm sorry you've been dealing with everything alone, and I'm sorry it took me time to figure all this out.” He pauses and takes a deep breath. “I've been so fuckin' selfish, and only seeing it from my point of view, but here's what you have to know. I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

“Why are you saying it now?” I fire back, feeling a spark of anger. He only tells me he loves me now? When he's apologizing? He should have told me the moment he knew, or maybe he only just realized when I left.

He comes over to me, sits down, and takes my hand in his. “I've never loved a woman before, Shay. Never been in love with one, until you. I wanted to make sure it was love, I didn't even know how to tell if that's what it was. But I don't want to live without you, you consume my every thought, and I'd fuckin' do anything for you. I know that's what love is, and I should have told you sooner. I should have done a lot of things sooner, and differently. All I'm asking is for a chance to make things right.”

“You said you never ever want children, Vinnie, and now I'm having one. You can't just change your mind. You made your views on that very clear. I don't know if there's any way we can fix this. I'll always think in the back of my mind that this isn't what you wanted, and fear that you'll grow to resent me.” I try to explain what's going on in my head. It wasn't as simple as just saying “I forgive you; let's work on it.” To be happiest, he said he wanted to live at the clubhouse, not have any children, and not be married. There was no room for compromise.