(Un)wise (3 page)

I stopped that thought and with wide eyes froze under the covers.  A gentle hand had soothed me.  The kiss.  Had it been real?  I tried to breathe as quietly as possible as I listened for any strange noises in the room.  All I could hear was my own heartbeat.  Scrunching my eyes for a moment, I braced myself for the worst.  I took a deep breath and quickly sat up, looking around the room.

Everything remained as it had when I’d gone to sleep.  The outside door remained securely bolted, and the bathroom door still stood open.  I let out a large shaky sigh.

That touch, like the dreams, had felt real yet it hadn’t been a part of either dream. Rather, it was a fragment of the shift between them.  That was one of the difficulties with sleep deprivation.  The confused haziness between reality and imagination was hard to figure out.  Well, that plus the headaches...

Flopping backwards, I scrubbed my hands over my face.  Maybe my first inclination to question my sanity had been right.  What if all of this was really in my head?  I laughed at myself.  Of course it’s in my head.  But what if it was all just my imagination?  That guy in the mall might have really just wanted the bathroom.  And my physical reaction to him?  Well, he was really good looking, and he had an accent.  Who wouldn’t suffer a little tummy tickle over that?

What did I really have as solid proof that something was out there?  I cringed.  I didn’t have any.  That just furthered my insanity theory.  My poor Mom.  And school.  Exams were in a few weeks.  I’d skipped so much school my grades were in the gutters.  I had enough credits to graduate at semester if I passed my current class load.  If I went back now and asked for help, I could still do it.  Maybe.  I’d probably still end up in a padded room for a while.  But, the details of the dreams, and my ability to recall everything—touch, taste, smell—bothered me.  It seemed so real.  What if all those feelings
were
memories?  If I went back home, would I be setting myself up for another non-choice...where I sacrificed myself?

With a sigh, I flipped back the covers and got out of bed.  No matter what I chose, I needed to get dressed first.  Padding across the carpet, I stepped into the bathroom to check my clothes.  Dry, but stiff.

Dressing slowly, I mulled over my options.  Home called to me.  I had very little money left and nowhere to go.  But I needed to be sure.  I didn’t want to go back and bring trouble with me.  This was a big enough town.  I could find a job and wait out a few weeks.  See if the dreams got better.

Gripping my jeans to pull them up, I felt a crinkle in the front pocket.  Odd.  I hadn’t felt anything when I washed them.  Something dug into my hip when I tugged them up the rest of the way.

I reached into the pocket, and my fingers brushed something. Hard plastic.  I dug deeper. Paper.  A chill swept through me as I wrapped my hand around the items and pulled them out.  I stared at the five neatly folded hundred dollar bills, a note, and a cell phone lying in my open palm for a moment before I instinctively dropped them on the tan bathroom tile.  Nothing was mine.

The hand wiping the tear from my face...

Icy fear pierced my stomach, and I sat heavily on the toilet seat.  With shaking fingers, I tentatively picked up the note.  Each crackle as I unfolded the hotel stationary sent a shiver down my spine.  The paper had nothing on it but a phone number.  No.  No way!  How had he found me again?  Could it be the same guy?  I crumpled the paper and threw it in the garbage along with the phone.

The dreams.  People chasing me.  It
wasn’t
in my head.  I stared at the solid proof that it was real.  I couldn’t go back home.  I needed to keep running.  Move.  I eyed the money.  I wasn’t about to use the phone to call that number, but the money...I’ll be taking that, thank-you-very-much!

Wasting no time, I gathered my things.  At least, I’d showered and slept.  Looking around to make sure I wasn’t forgetting anything, I spotted stationary on the bedside table.  The pen lay beside it.  Lifting the pad to the light, I saw the indentations of the phone number that had been in my pocket.  Of course, I already knew someone had been in my room but seeing the used pad of paper gave me the shakes again.

Run!

I didn’t look back.

When I stepped outside the hotel, the chilled air slapped some sense into me; and I schooled my terror-filled expression.  I couldn’t doubt myself any longer. Not even slightly.  The dreams had continued after my discovery for a reason.  I had lifetimes of wisdom in me.  I just needed to remember it all.  Remembering would help me survive.  But to remember, I needed a safe place to sleep...I needed a lot of it.  Where though?  A public place would be good.  A place where moaning in my sleep wouldn’t be too out of the ordinary.  Somewhere low cost.  A homeless shelter?  I’d never been to one in real life and hoped they offered beds like in the movies.

Decided, I hailed a cab.  The driver let me know about an overflow shelter where I’d have the best luck in winter months.  After showing the cabbie I could pay, he took me there but dropped me off a few blocks away.  I didn’t think it would look good if I arrived there in a taxi.

I managed two nights before I admitted to myself I’d made the wrong decision.  All of the dreams—each memory—depicted hellish nightmares of brutal past deaths, further driving into me the need to run.  I still didn’t have a destination.  I just needed to keep moving. 
They
were closing in.  I would die.

Though I’d slept every chance I got, it felt like I’d stayed awake since I left the hotel.  Hyped up on caffeine, I caught another bus.  This time going south.  I didn’t pay attention to the destination, nor did I make small talk with sweet old ladies.

On the outside, anyone looking at me would see a calm, sleepy girl.  Inside, I twitched and jittered; I moaned and cried as I remembered all the slow tiny cuts from the night before.  It had taken a week to die.  In that dream, they hadn’t meant to kill me...her...us...whoever.  A past version of one of the others like me had pretended to be more alert and resilient than she had actually been.  When they’d realized they’d gone too far, it’d been too late.

*    *    *    *

The ride left me in a small town with no motel.

I cast my eyes in every direction trying to decide my next move when I spotted an old iron support bridge just down one of the side roads.  Its metal skeleton blended with the leafless branches on the banks surrounding it.  Trudging in that direction, I kept alert for someone following me.

Since staying at the shelter, something had changed.  The sleep-inducing memories pulled at me even while awake.  The pull had an edge to it.  It wouldn’t be denied for long.  I needed a power nap.  Thirty minutes tops, I promised myself.

I checked for cars before I stepped off the road and made my way into the ravine that the bridge spanned.  The wooden decking provided covering but didn’t make a good shelter due to the gaps.  Crushed stone had once covered the embankment. Weeds and other growth concealed much of it now.  The dry winter vegetation snapped in the quiet as I headed under the bridge and picked a spot where most of the rocks were still exposed.

Peeling off my hoodie, I lay down.  The rocks and cold wouldn’t allow for a deep sleep.  The waiting dream pulled me under before I lay my head on my arm.

I immediately merged with the past.

In this dream, I was myself, or at least a past version of myself, and remembered the man standing before me.  He had been responsible for my death twice in the same cycle.  He looked much older now.

“This time, we’re going to do things a little differently.”  He motioned for two of his men to step forward.  “Hold her, and open her mouth.”

One man stepped behind me, grasping my already bound arms.  Another man gripped my jaw roughly and pressed his fingers inward until I opened my mouth.

My face ached. His fingers left bruises on my skin but I showed no fear, no pain.  I had remembered him.  I remembered everything.  This, however, was new and I wondered what he had in mind.

He motioned for another to join our little group.

This man I’d never seen before.  Something about him pulled me, and I felt certain it wasn’t good.  His eyes roamed over me from head to feet, lingering in any place that caught his interest.

“Her scent is perfect.”

“Go then,” the leader motioned the man to step toward us.

I braced myself for a brutal Claiming, but the man surprised me by stopping a step away.  He tilted his neck to the side.  I didn’t have time to wonder what it meant.  The man holding me shoved my face forward into the man’s neck.  I pulled my bruised lips back just before the second man holding me moved his hands on my jaw.  Instead of forcing it open, he forced it closed so fast and hard that I bit the man’s neck.  He howled in excitement.  I pulled back, stunned and not understanding what had just happened.  Both men let go of me and stepped back leaving me with the man I’d just bitten.

He pulled me to him and kissed my mouth passionately.  He bruised my lips further.  Still, I felt a stirring within me and tentatively responded.  His hands tugged at my clothing.

“Stop.  You can’t mate with her.  Not yet.”

The man kissing me lifted his head with a feral growl.

The leader didn’t back down.  Instead, he partially shifted.  “She’s weak.  She’s died on us twice already.  You need to be in control, not newly Claimed.  Wait.”

My hands, still bound behind my back, prevented me from catching myself when the man I’d bitten abruptly let go.  I fell backward, landing hard on sharp rocks that bite into my thighs and buttock.

Dream and reality blended in that moment.  Rocks still bit into my butt, but they bit through my jeans.  I needed to wake up but couldn’t open my eyes.  The dream still lingered.  I hadn’t died yet.  I always died...except for those dreams with the Taupe Lady.  Why hadn’t I died?

Something settled over me gently.  The physical contact gave me what I needed to pull myself from the dream world.  My eyes popped open.

The bronze-haired, hazel-eyed man from the mall swam into focus.  He hovered over me.  His hands were on my hoodie.  We stared at each other for a heartbeat then he moved, straightening the hoodie over my shoulder.

I scrambled to my feet. My eyes never left his as he slowly stood from where he’d been crouched on the balls of his feet next to me.  How could something so cruel still make my stomach flip in such a toe-tingling way?

We stared at each other for several long moments.  His eyes swept over me with a tender look.  Concern clouded them when I involuntarily shivered.

He lifted the hoodie still held in his fingertips.  “My name is...”

That’s as far as he got before I tried to deliver a swift kick to his balls.  He dodged smoothly, but his easygoing expression changed to one of wary shock.

I didn’t wait for him to recover but turned and scrambled up the embankment to reach the road.  It was pointless.  I knew he was much faster.  Still, I pushed on.  Stones slid under my feet.  He caught me from behind while I was still scrambling over the loose stones and pinned my arms to my side.

“Easy, luv.  Unlike you, I mean no harm,” he spoke softly near my ear, sending tingles along my spine.  His grip, though firm, wasn’t rough.  He turned and walked back under the bridge, carrying me easily.

My heart freaked out, going into a very painful overdrive.

He surprised me by letting me go.  I spun to face him again with my knees bent and weight on the balls of my feet, ready to move.  His expression seemed more concerned than wary.  Probably concerned that someone would hear.  We were fairly close to town, no doubt the reason why he pulled me back under the bridge.

“As I was saying, my name is Luke Taylor.  And you are?”

“Not yours,” I answered automatically.  “Touch me again and I’ll sac tap you so hard you’ll be coughing semen for a week.  And this time I won’t miss.”

I felt a moment of pride at my tough words, but that quickly passed as the details of the life I’d just dreamt continued to filter in.  I’d survived the fight, but at only fourteen, I hadn’t survived long in the hands of my mate.  He’d been rough and brutish but not completely uncaring.  As his leader suggested, my fragility hadn’t withstood him.

I was older in this life and determined not to be as fragile.  I wouldn’t be used that way again.  They’d wanted to control me to influence a decision.  I wasn’t sure what decision yet, but I knew it involved the others like me.  The ones who had briefly shared the womb of the Taupe Lady with me, the ones I sometimes dreamed of.

In response to my eloquent threat, his lips twitched as if he wanted to smile.

That gave me pause.  Something about this was wrong...

The wind rattled through the empty branches while I tried to pinpoint the problem.  I risked looking away to scan the bank and trees behind him.

“What are you looking for?”

It wasn’t until I looked back at him that I realized what I’d looked for—what was wrong.  “Your pack of murdering dogs.”

Surprise flashed in his eyes. “I’m alone.”

I snorted in disbelief.  They were never alone.  Always in a pack.  I stayed tense, waiting for his next move.  I knew better than to try running again.  Who knew how long his humor would last.

He didn’t say anything, just continued to study me.  After a time listening to the dry rattle of barren tree branches and dead weeds around us, he sighed and sat down on the patch of rocks where we’d started.

I flicked the briefest glance at the trees again, puzzled.  “What are you doing?”

“Waiting for you to decide your next move.  Keeping up with you is exhausting.  I thought giving you money would keep you in one place long enough so you could get the sleep you obviously need.”  He pulled his knees up and rested his forearms on them in a relaxed pose.  “So what are your nightmares about?”

The reminder that he’d been in my room had me narrowing my eyes.  “All of the ways I’d rather die than bite the neck of a disgusting werewolf who’d be willing to rape a fourteen year old girl just to have control over her when Judgement comes.”  The lingering memories of my young past life still haunted me, and the words were out of my mouth without thinking.

He flinched as he looked down at the ground. I didn’t know what I meant by it all, but the ring of it sounded so right.  Something in what I said struck a chord in him, too, because with a clenched jaw, he paled.  Satisfaction coursed through me.  About time one of them felt guilty about what they did.  Just as I had that thought, an angry red flush flooded his face.

“Has someone hurt you?”  His softly intense words sounded strained.  The veins on the back of his hand stood out.  This wasn’t a mystery to me.  I’d witnessed this many times in my dreams.  He struggled to contain the beast.

I recalled the word I’d used.  Werewolf.  So laughably impossible to me a few short months ago, I embraced the truth of it...him...and of the nightmare of my life.

“Tell me who,” he demanded.  When he looked up, his eyes were larger in his skull.  The pupils dilated as he struggled to maintain control.

I didn’t bother wondering why he cared.  They were territorial creatures, possessive of their unclaimed women.  Even more so of their mates.

“In this life? No one yet.  But it looks like you’re about to fix that.  In other lives, they’ve already died.”  I thought about my dreams and wondered if that was true.  Was this my first life in this cycle?  I knew I could be born several times in the same cycle, making it possible to meet some of them in more than one life.  I’d dreamt that very scenario.

My words seemed to turn off a switch in him.  His change receded.  “This life?” Confusion laced his voice.

He’s good, I thought.  The rest had just bullied and beat me.  No one had tried acting like they cared.

I narrowed my eyes at him.  “Why are you toying with me?  We both know what you want.”

He shook his head slowly and stood, pulling something from his pocket.  Hand outstretched, he offered me the cell phone I’d tossed into the garbage at the last hotel.  “Press call.  I have a...friend, Gabby.  She sent me to look for you.  Thought you might be like her.”

His words burst a bubble of anger within me.  For a moment, I just struggled to breath.  One of my original sisters?  This was different.  New.  Still, I couldn’t trust him.  They’d talked about the others like me before, but we were never in their control at the same time.  Not for very long, anyway.  We kept dying on them.  The thought made me smile briefly.  It faded into a frown.  I didn’t want to die again.

Looking up at the overcast sky, I decided something felt different this time.  Some balance had been tipped.  I just wished I knew in whose favor.

Declining to take the phone, I watched him as I gathered my things and put my hoodie back on.  In the distance, I heard the rumble of a car starting up.  Slowly, I turned away from him and climbed back up to the road.  I reached the top.  He didn’t stop me.  I didn’t look back but remained focused forward.

Gravel crunched underfoot as I walked back into town.  His steps echoed quietly behind me.  I hoped it was well behind me.  The car turned onto our road.  I didn’t change my step, my breathing, nothing.  No physical signs to give me away.  The car increased its speed.

At the last moment, I stepped into the road waving the car down.  My pulse jumped and my hands shook.  Kill me or stop.  Please stop.  I didn’t want to die; I just wanted a ride. A fast getaway.  It was a risk not just for me, but also for the driver of the car if Luke reached the car before I got in.