Unworthy Heart: The Donnellys, Book 1 (11 page)

“Yes!” He gripped her tighter, drilling into her. “That’s it, baby, your cunt is—”

Still trying to catch her breath, she looked at him. His face was tight, his lips pulled back from his gritted teeth. A magnificent expression she’d never forget.

Ryan reared up on his knees, pulling her by the hips with him. Sweat glistened on his chest and abs. He had a death grip on her waist with her ass raised clear off the couch, and he ground her against his pelvis, sliding her up and down his cock. Throwing his head back, he came with a deep moan. His cock jerked with his climax in her core. Every muscle from his neck, to his chest and abs was tight.

He was fucking beautiful.

Gazing at him through a lust-filled haze, Maiya was overcome. Another burst of small orgasms lit off deep inside. The room spun around her and she closed her eyes. She might actually be dying. If she did, at least she’d been fucked good and proper like he’d said.

Ryan collapsed over her and they lay pressed together while their breathing calmed. The smell of their sweat and sex permeated her senses. She stroked her hands up his back, enjoying the slickness of his cooling skin and then ran her fingers through his hair.

With his face buried in the crook of her neck, he pressed a soft kiss behind her ear and then shifted and rolled to his side to lie beside her.

“Brrr.” She shivered. “Where’s the blanket?”

“Over there.” He raised his arm and pointed without looking.

“Where?” She raised her head in search.

“Here.” Ryan sat up and grabbed the blanket from the opposite end of the couch and then covered them both. He kissed her cheek and settled next to her. “Better?”

“Yes.” She sighed and curled against him. “You wore me out.”

“Me?” He chuckled. “Hell, woman, you about killed me.”

She traced the contours of his chest and then kissed his collarbone. “It would be a good death though, right?”

“The best,” he whispered.

Chapter Seventeen

Maiya settled close to him with her hand pressed to his heart. The beat was steady and sure against her palm. Had sex ever been this amazing before? Considering the various lovers and boyfriends she’d had in her past—the answer was an easy one.

No.

Already the tension low in her tummy was building. She wanted him again. Nope, sex had
never
been like this before. Ever. Maiya kissed his neck and licked the salt from his sweat from her lips. Breathing him in, she basked in a post-orgasm bliss she’d never experienced before.
I could get used to this.
She smoothed her hand over his shoulder and then down his arm. What if it
was
always like this with him? But, oh God, what if it hadn’t been as good for him as it was for her? Doubt crept in and Maiya’s mind raced. Fuck.

Maiya closed her eyes and worked on getting her emotions under control. So what if it wasn’t the same for him as it was her. She never cared before, and she shouldn’t care now. This was just sex. Casual sex. Mind blowing, unbelievable, never-in-her-life-been-like-this-before, sex, but still, just sex. And now, it was time to go. Staying the night wasn’t an option. Not that he offered. But if he did, she’d decline. Shifting, she made to roll away and met with the resistance of his arm around her waist.

“Where you going?” His words came out in a sleepy voice.

“I…uhh. I should probably go. You know, time to get out of your hair. Jodi’s waiting for me.”

Ryan rose on one elbow and looked at her. “You don’t have to go yet.”

She bit her bottom lip. God, he loved when she did that. Her hair had pulled free of its knot and fell in messy layered strands around her face. Her cheeks were flushed and her lips were still swollen from his kisses. He’d never seen anyone so beautiful in all his life.

“Sure I do.” She leaned over the side of the couch and returned with her cell phone. “It’s better if I go.”

“I wish you wouldn’t.”

She sat up, placing the phone to her ear. A moment passed and then she relayed his address to the person on the other end of the line, most likely the cab company. Damn, she was leaving in a cab. Didn’t that just make him feel like a piece of crap.

Disconnecting the call, she turned back to him. “I had a really great time.”

“Me too.” He shrugged, trying to hide his disappointment. She needed to go, but he didn’t want her to. He hadn’t expected to want her to stay though. Maybe he should see if she wanted to spend the night in the guest room or something. But then he’d have to explain to Jacob why she was still there in the morning.

Nope. She was right. It was better she leave.

Maiya scooped up her clothes and made quick work of putting herself back together. “Bathroom?” She ran her fingers through her hair.

“There’s a small one off the hall past the kitchen.”

“Thanks.” Appearing apathetic, she got up and padded from the room.

At some point between the mind-blowing sex and a few minutes ago, she slid her mask into place. He hated it, but there wasn’t much to say at this point. He had no idea if it was an act or if she was, in fact, that shut off.

After disposing of the condom, Ryan put on his boxers and pants. Sitting again, he rested his head in his hands. There was an undeniable chemistry between them. He’d never been this sexually in tune with another person in his life. They moved together with precision. She knew just how to touch him and her body responded to each stroke and caress he gave it. It was magic.

“My hair tie over there anywhere?”

Yanked from his thoughts, he looked up as she stepped into the room. “Um, I don’t know. Let’s see.” He ran his hand along the cushions and then in between them. “Bingo.” He held the tie out to her.

She took the tie from him, scooped her hair up in her hands and secured it. “Thanks.”

“You’re gorgeous, you know?”

She dipped her chin and avoided his gaze. “You’re tired.”

“Yeah, but—” he stood, “—it’s still true.” Circling her waist, he pulled her close. She stiffened, but he gave her no opportunity to pull away. He kissed her instead. Little sips from her lips, her tongue.

She rose on tiptoe and wrapped her arms around his neck. Ryan pulled her tighter against him and deepened the kiss. She tasted as sweet as always and he cringed inside at how much he craved it.

Ryan was in trouble.

He wanted her, and it scared him because he’d been positive up until now he didn’t want anything serious. Not anything full-time anyway. Plus, Jacob didn’t need the complication in his life or the risk of getting attached to someone, only to lose them again. Maybe they could just see each other when she was in town. That’d be okay, right? It wasn’t full time, so it might work.

The faint sounds of a horn outside drew his attention and Ryan pulled away from her lips.

She stepped back and pressed her fingers to her lips. “Looks like my ride’s here.”

“Let me walk you to the door.” He scooped up his shirt and pulled it on.

She grabbed her sandals. “You don’t have to.”

“Of course I have to. I’m not that much of an asshole, Maiya.” He grabbed their coffee mugs and walked past her toward the kitchen.

No. She couldn’t be his girlfriend, and for the most part, he’d keep her away from Jacob. Maiya would break his heart. He’d survive. But Ryan couldn’t let her break his son’s heart too.

Maiya watched Ryan disappear into the kitchen. Had she offended him? Damn, she didn’t mean to. She put on her sandals and followed after him. Coming up behind him, she touched his back. “Hey, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”

He shrugged, rinsing their mugs in the sink. “No big deal.” He turned and dried his hands on his pants. “Come on, you better hurry before the taxi leaves.” He grabbed her hand and led her to the front entryway.

“I really did have an amazing time tonight.”

He opened the door. “Me too.”

“Jacob is a great kid. I enjoyed meeting him.”

“Thanks. He’s my miracle.” His expression softened and he smiled.

“I fly out tomorrow.”

With a sigh, he pulled her close. “When are you coming back?”

“A couple weeks I think. You want me to come back?” Maiya tilted her head to the side and searched his face for any hint of his feelings.

He paused, and then kissed her lips. “Yeah, I want you to come back.”

She kissed him again and then pulled from his embrace. “Bye, Ryan.”

“See ya, Maiya.”

It was still drizzling and quite cool outside. Maiya shivered and scurried to the cab and got inside. She peered out the window at Ryan. He stood in the doorway; his features obscured by the shadows the porch light cast over his face. Maiya rubbed her chilled arms. Leaving might be a mistake. But, no, his son was home. Jacob didn’t need to wake up to her being there in the morning. That’d be awkward to say the least. Plus, spending the night would complicate things further. Neither of them needed that.

Pulling out her cell phone, she shot a text to Jodi letting her know she was on her way. Damn, it was already after midnight. Knowing Jodi, she’d be up waiting for her anyway. She’d for sure want the deets on the happenings between her and Ryan.

Explaining the gravity of how she’d had the best sex of her life and how it had forever altered her was
not
going to be easy.

Chapter Eighteen

“What’s up, chickadee?” Jodi smiled, wrapped in a pink fuzzy bathrobe and pink bunny slippers. Her blonde hair was piled high on her head in a messy knot, coffee mug in hand. “Come onnnn in.”

Maiya laughed and stepped into her friend’s house. “Hubby sleeping?”

“Oh girl, hell yeah he is. That man goes to bed when the kids do. You’d think we were old or something.” Jodi shut the door behind them. “Where are your bags?”

Maiya whipped around. “Oh shit! I left them at Ryan’s.”

Right then her phone buzzed in her hand. A text from Ryan.
Babe, you left your suitcase and bag here.
She showed Jodi the screen.

“He called you babe? Aw, that’s too sweet.” Jodi grabbed her hand and tugged it toward her again. “Wait. What do you have him labeled in your phone?”

“Stop.” Maiya laughed and pulled her arm away. “I need to text him back.” She shot a quick message back letting him know she’d call in the morning.

“Oh, girl. You have a look on your face I’ve never seen before.” She tugged Maiya toward the kitchen. “We’re not going to bed till you tell me every last dirty detail.”

Maiya trailed behind her. “I figured.”

After about an hour of questioning, Jodi let Maiya go to sleep. Maiya was exhausted. Staring at the small digital clock on the nightstand, Maiya watched the numbers change at a snail’s pace. She’d poured it all out to her friend—her excitement, how incredible the sex had been and her fears. Per usual, Jodi listened, but then gave her opinion. “You only live once, girl,” Jodi had said.

Her friend was right, of course, but it didn’t make the situation any easier.

Maiya couldn’t shake Ryan from her thoughts. He was weaving his way into her heart and that just plain pissed her off. She absolutely, under no circumstances, could allow herself to fall for Ryan Donnelly. And there was no way on God’s green and blue earth he was going to fall for her. No matter how soft and intense his kisses were. No matter that he knew every divine way to touch her. No matter what she thought she might see in his eyes. Maiya needed to get her walls in place around her heart and she needed to do it fast.

Rubbing her temples, she tried to relax, but it was no use. Her mind wandered for the better part of the night from the sex, to his kisses, to his son and the way Ryan was with him. He was a good dad and it warmed her heart.

A son.
Ryan has a son.
She didn’t even know if she wanted kids of her own and now there was this adorable little boy who said she was pretty. Dammit, she couldn’t fall for him, either.

Morpheus was not going to bless her with any sleep. Rolling over, she stared at the windows and watched while the sun rose and glittered in the window. At six thirty, Maiya got up and took a shower.

Tugging on a borrowed pair of sweats and a T-shirt, she wandered to the kitchen and was treated to a messy-faced blonde two-year-old in her high chair. Maiya blew raspberries on the toddler’s neck and then kissed Jodi on the cheek.

“Coffee’s hot in the pot,” Jodi said. “You look like hell. Did you sleep at all?”

Maiya grunted an unintelligible response and poured herself a cup.

“I’ll take that as a no.” Jodi sipped her coffee.

“I need to call Ryan and ask him to bring my bags.” She grabbed a bagel and tossed it in the toaster. “You think he’s up yet? Maybe I should text him instead.”

“I guess text him. He might be up. How old is his son again?”

Maiya pulled the hot bagel from the toaster and spread jelly on it. “I didn’t ask. I dunno, five or so?”

“You didn’t ask?” Jodi shook her head. “Finish your waffle, Megan.”

“No. Why?” Maiya asked with a mouthful of bagel.

“Piggy.” She rolled her eyes. “Because, this shi—stuff is important.” Jodi eyed her daughter.

“Whatever.” Maiya took a seat at the table. “It doesn’t matter how old he is. I’m sure I won’t be seeing much of the kid anyway.” She made a face at Megan, tickled her belly and then grabbed her phone and sent a text to Ryan.

“He’s nuts if he doesn’t let you see his kid. You’re great with my kids.”

Maiya glanced at Jodi and shrugged one shoulder. Her phone buzzed with his reply. She sent him Jodi’s address and set down her phone. “Where’s Jared?”

“He’s playing golf. Been gone an hour already.”

“Golf?” Maiya scoffed. “You guys are like ‘real’ yuppies, I swear.”

Jodi pinched her arm. “Bite your tongue!”

“Ow! Shit, woman.”

Jodi pinched her again. “Watch your mouth.”

Maiya rubbed her arm and laughed. “Sooorryyy.”

Megan started laughing. “Funny, Myma.” She scooped another piece of waffle into her mouth.

“Yes, Auntie Myma is funny, silly girl,” Maiya crooned to Megan, still rubbing her arm. “Hey, let me borrow some makeup, please?”

“Of course. Can’t have lover boy seeing you
au naturel
now, can we.” Jodi snorted.

Maiya rolled her eyes and left the room in pursuit of a more suitable face.

Sleep was a no-go last night since Ryan was weathering a horrible case of Maiya on the brain. The woman had wormed her way into his head from the moment he’d laid eyes on her. Damn if he knew what to do with her, either. Part of him wanted to keep her. Make her his, like he’d let slip the night before. Another part of him wanted to run as fast as he could in the other direction.

He finished tying Jacob’s shoes. She kept changing temperatures on him. One minute she was hot and all over him and the next she was cold and distant. He wasn’t much different though. He
had
left her naked and willing in her hotel room, but he’d done his best to make it up to her too.

“Are we going to see that pretty lady, Daddy?”

“Sure are.” He mussed his son’s hair and stood. “She forgot her suitcase here last night when she left. We need to take it to her.”

“Why does she have a suitcase?” Jacob shifted his little body side to side. “Is she going on a trip?”

“She’s going home. She doesn’t live here by us.” He grabbed his keys.

“Where does she live?”

He chuckled. “You ask a lot of questions, you know that?”

“Uh huh. Can I bring my truck?”

“Yes, little man. You can bring your truck.” He walked toward the back door. “Quick, grab it. We need to go.”

Thirty minutes and a hundred more questions from Jacob later, Ryan pulled into Jodi’s driveway. Jacob hopped out of the car and went running toward the front door before Ryan had even turned off the vehicle.

“Hey, Jacob!” Ryan jogged up to his son. “You need to wait for Daddy.”

“Sorry. I forgot,” his little boy said, looking at least a little guilty.

He eyed Jacob and rang the bell. The door swung open and Ryan looked down. A little blond-haired boy, about Jacob’s age, stood there.

“Anthony! Mommy said
do not
open the door.” Jodi appeared at the door. “Come on in, you two.”

“Nice to see I’m not the only one.” He stepped inside, ushering Jacob with him.

Jodi laughed. “No kidding.” She knelt down. “Hey there, I’m Miss Jodi.” She held her hand out to Jacob.

“Hi,” Jacob said, but didn’t raise his hand.

“Jacob, can you shake Miss Jodi’s hand?”

Jacob looked up at him, holding his truck tight in his hands, and then around Jodi to see where Anthony had gone.

“You want to go play, Jacob? It’s okay. You can go.” She stood and focused on Ryan. “You want some coffee?”

“That’d be great.” He followed behind her. “They look about the same age. I hadn’t realized.”

She glanced over her shoulder at him and snorted. “Neither did I.”

“Touché.”

Jodi grinned. “Have a seat. The Gorgeous Redhead will be done in a minute, I’m sure.” She sat a cup of coffee in front of Ryan and excused herself for a moment. A minute later a little girl, cradling a sippy cup in the crook of her arm wandered his way with Jodi behind her. “Sorry, it was way too quiet. Had to make sure this one wasn’t ripping my walls down.”

“How many kids do you have?”

“Two and that’s plenty,” Jodi said.

Maiya leaned inside the kitchen doorway. “Jodi, do you have— Oh, hey, Ryan. I hadn’t heard you come in.”

He stood and walked to her. “Morning.” She turned her head and his kiss landed on the corner of her lips.
Hmm.
She wasn’t as happy to see him as he was her.
Great.

“Morning. Thanks for bringing me my stuff.”

“No problem. Do you need a ride to the airport?”

“I was going to take a cab. Jodi’s kind of got her hands full.”

Jodi rested a hand on her hip. “You didn’t even ask me. I can take you. I
do know
how to function on a daily basis, you know?”

“Well, I just figured…” Maiya wrinkled her nose. “I didn’t want to bother you.”

Bingo. Giving her a ride was, at least, a chance for Ryan to spend a little more time with her. “I can take you. It’s not a problem. I’m heading in that direction anyway.”

Maiya looked at him and bit her top lip. “All right. I guess that’ll work.” She shrugged a shoulder. “My bags? I need to change.”

“I’ll go get it.” Ryan ran outside and grabbed the suitcase from the back of the car and then brought it inside. Maiya thanked him and disappeared somewhere in the house.

He resumed his seat at the kitchen table and his nerves tap-danced in his stomach. Why the hell was he nervous? Also, why was she acting so distant?
Ugh, this woman.
He didn’t think he’d ever get it right with her. The images from last night were embedded in his mind, but he couldn’t recall anything he’d done to piss her off. Damn, he wasn’t up for this kind of dramatic roller coaster ride.

She needed to figure out what she wanted. Ryan’s head fell forward and he chuckled. Maybe
he
needed to figure out what the hell
he
wanted first.

“Something funny, Ryan?” Jodi looked over from the sink.

“Nah, just lost in thought.” The sounds of the boys playing off in another room filled his ears and every few minutes they’d race by the entryway.

Jodi dismantled a series of sippy cups and rinsed them. “Boys are playing nice.”

“Yeah, they are. How old is Anthony?”

“He’ll be six in September.” Jodi loaded the cups in the dishwasher.

“Nice. Jacob’ll be six in December.”

“We should get them together again.”

“Yeah, that’d be cool. Thanks.” He brought her his coffee cup. “Hey, Jodi, do me a favor will you?”

“Sure.” She looked at him.

“Don’t say anything in the office about Jacob. It’s not something I let people know about.” He leaned against the counter. “I just…I don’t want them thinking I can’t do my job, you know, since I’m a single father.”

“Is that why you haven’t told anyone? Jeez, Ryan. They won’t care.”

“I don’t want to risk it. I’d appreciate the favor.”

“All right.” Jodi closed the dishwasher and started it. “My lips are sealed.”

“Thanks.” He blew out a relieved breath and glanced over to the kitchen doorway right as Maiya returned.

“Okay, I’m ready. Better go now or I’ll miss my flight.” She walked over to Jodi and kissed her cheek. “I’ll call you later. Thanks for letting me crash here.”

“Sure thing. I gots da setup, yo. Perfect fo’ crashin’.” Jodi snapped her fingers in a zigzag pattern.

“Did—” Maiya dipped her chin and raised her brows. “Did you just try to go all gangsta? Cuz… Oh my God, please don’t.”

Ryan laughed. It was spectacular to see how well the two got along. They seemed total opposites too.

She hugged Maiya. “I’ll do it again if you don’t get gone this instant.”

“Let me get Jacob and your bags. I’ll meet you at the car.” He walked in the general direction of the noise. After finding Jacob, he poked his head back in the kitchen. Jodi was hugging Maiya again. He swore he heard Jodi say something about “hanging on to him,” but he wasn’t sure. “Hey, sorry to interrupt… Nice seeing you, Jodi. We’ll have to talk about getting the kids together again.” He left the room and headed to the car, Jacob and luggage in tow.

The first thing Maiya noticed when she got outside was Ryan wasn’t driving the Porsche. It was the BMW he’d mentioned before. An X5 SUV or, wait, they called them SAVs, didn’t they? She chuckled, opened the door and slid into yet another plush leather seat. “So, I guess you were serious when you said you had a Beamer.” She smoothed her fingers across the wood grain strip in the door. “I like these, they’re nice.”

“Thanks. And, the proper term is Bimmer.”

“What? Oh, please. Like that matters.”

He snorted a laugh and shook his head.

She squinted her eyes at him and furrowed her brow. “What’s so funny?”

“I figured I’d get another ‘typical’ comment from you, is all.”

“Ohh, that. Yeah well, the word coming to mind this time is spoiled yuppie.”

He frowned. “I am not a…a yuppie.”

“What’s a yuppie, Daddy?” Jacob asked from the back seat.

Damn. She’d forgotten Jacob was there. Whoops.

“I’ll tell you when you’re older.” Ryan eyed Maiya. “Okay, fine. It might appear that I am a bit…yuppie-ish.”

She burst into a fit of laughter.

The ride went by pretty fast, even with the little bit of traffic on the freeway. Jacob asked her a ton of questions. The kid was adorable and smart. So smart. Ryan answered any questions directed at him with ease and a tone of patience laced through his words.

Having never met the man who impregnated her mother, it intrigued Maiya to see how Ryan interacted with his son. He was a single father. Therefore he had to play both roles for this kid. Coach little league and wipe sick noses. Was it hard on him, or did it come easy? One thing was for sure, Ryan loved his son. It meant a lot to her, though it shouldn’t. It wasn’t like they were dating. She didn’t need to concern herself with whether or not Ryan was a good father.

They pulled up to the departures area at the airport. Maiya hopped out and then opened Jacob’s door. “It was really nice meeting you, Jacob.” She smiled. “Be good for your daddy.”

He flashed a big grin and waved. “Bye, Miss Maiya.”

She shut the door and walked to the back of the car.