Uprising (29 page)

“Oh, I’m up for it. I just got to get myself a hot date.”

“Yes. We definitely don’t want you to go alone.”

“Agreed. Excuse me. You can get back to your Keeper lingo now,” I say and walk over to where Sherry and Merrick are sitting.

I’m in the mood for a little self inflicted torture.

“May I have this dance, milady?” I ask in my best English accent and extend my hand to Sherry on the floor.

She laughs and takes my hand, letting me pull her up.

“How can I refuse an offer like that?”

“You can’t. It’s best just not to fight it.” I turn to Merrick. “You mind?”

“Of course not. Just make sure you bring her back,” he said and winked at us.

“Sure thing.”

I hold her hand as I pull her further away, where there’s room. Her fingers are short, cool and soft. Then I place her arms around my neck, her hands really because she’s so short, and rest my hands on her upper waist, very gentlemanly.

“I’m not very good at this. Merrick taught me everything I know,” she said looking bashful, watching our feet like she’s waiting for disaster.

“Really? Where’d he learn it? Keeper academy?” I said low in her ear and she laughed.

“No. Mrs. Trudy. She taught quite a few of our men how to move. She was a little obsessed with making sure the couples here knew how to dance.”

“Aha. Well, you seem to be doing a fine job to me. Very graceful.”

“Thanks, but you don’t have to make up anything for me. I know the truth, Cainy boy.”

My heart flips. She has to know what she’s doing to me. She has to. It has to be so viciously all over my face. I try to cover with some fancy moves because if she looks in my eyes, she’ll see. I know it. I twirl her under my arm and then take her left hand in mine this time instead of letting her return it to my shoulder. It’s so small. Dainty with cold fingers. Always cold.

“I wouldn’t dare, Miss lie detector. So, you’re gonna let me go Friday night all by my lonesome, huh?”

“Cain. You know I can’t go. Even if the Taker hadn’t caused all that...drama, Merrick still wouldn’t let me go and you know it. As much as I’d love to.”

“We could sneak off. Runaway together. Or only run to the party, whichever you prefer.”

“Oh yeah?” She snorted and giggled. “Why don’t you try some of that charm on someone who can fight it, huh? You keep this up and I’ll crumble for sure and break Merrick’s poor heart,” she said in a hilarious flurry of mixed together facial expressions and accents.

If only that were true.

Wait. No. I don’t want that. Do I?

“Ah. Well. There’s not a lot of girls to resist anymore I’m afraid. Especially if the Keepers keep turning on their charm.”

“Aha. So you know about Lillian and Mitchell then? I was gonna talk to you about that today.”

“So it’s true? Jeez,” I groaned.

“Not officially, but if he had his way...”

“Yeah. I can see that. So, she’s taken then. Just come with me. Come on! We’ll talk Merrick into it. We’ll get Danny to compel him.”

“Cain!” She laughed out loud and the Keepers in the huddle looked our way curiously. “Tempting as that is, you know why I can’t. The new Taker would know me in a second, he would know I wasn’t a supporter. Even if that wasn’t the case I doubt I could fake dancing all night. This is seriously bad,” she said laughing, looking at our feet again.

“You’re doing fine.” I lean in to whisper in her ear. “And Merrick is just being a stick in the mud.”

“He just worries about me.”

“He’s not the only one. I worry about you dying of sheer boredom stuck in this bunker all day.”

“Yeah right!” She laughed and playfully pushed my chest. “You’re real worried about me! Wanting to bring me right to the Lighter’s table.”

“I do worry but I also know you can handle yourself. I really do wish you could go. I trust you. We make a good team.”

The way I said it must have revealed something. The look she gave me was strange. Her laughing eyes softened and she studied my face.

“We do. I wish I could go too. Be careful, ok. Please?”

“I always am.”

“No, I mean it. Don’t be your usual cocky self. Please, be careful and make sure you come home. Promise?”

I let my mind run for just a few seconds, that she was telling me to come home because she loved me and wanted me.

“I will. I promise,” then I lifted her hand to kiss it, feeling like this would be a perfect opportunity to, and saw something that brought me screeching back to reality.

Her bright, shiny, little silver ring on her finger. The ring indicating not only that she belonged to someone else, but my best friend. Not only that but they were crazy in love with each other and according to the story had risked a lot to get married. Merrick had wanted her to have it all exactly like she had dreamed, risking his own life to put that ring on her finger the proper way, in the church and official.

My chest hurt with an ache of shame as I realized how far I’d let this fantasy go on.

I released her hand without kissing it as the song ended. She could see a change come over me and crinkled her forehead like she does in worry.

“Are you ok?”

Sweet Sherry. She would never expect anything but chivalry from me. She has no idea the devious, sinister things I’ve thought and fantasized about.

“I’m fine, just tired.”

And as I walked away, I knew she could tell that I was lying.

But I didn’t stop.

The Long Kiss Goodnight

Mitchell took me to the laundry room, turning over some crates for us to sit on. I could hear the music coming from the commons rooms as we navigated the hallway.

He pulled two soda cans from the shelf and handed one to me as we took our seats.

“Wow, Mitch. You always think of everything,” I said, laughing as mine spewed a little on the concrete floor.

“I try. I found these stashed on the back of the shelf. They’re not cold but...”

“It’s perfect.” I took a sip. “Mmmm. Hot flat cola. It’s almost as good as watermelon.” I elbowed him playfully. “Thank you.”

“Doubtful, but your welcome. Um, so I heard that Cain is going to a rally Friday night for the new Taker at some club in town.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. They, the Keepers, are going to ask you to go with him. You’re the only not Special female that hasn’t been compromised so... but that doesn’t mean that you have to. I want you to know you don’t have to do this.”

“Well. I don’t know. I might have to. Mitchell, they’ve helped us so much. If they need me-”

“That doesn’t mean you have to do this. You’ll be mixed in with Lighters and rallyers. I know you’re immune to the Lighter speak but that doesn’t make it any less dangerous.”

“Well. Maybe I should wait for them to ask me first. Maybe they were just talking.”

He took a long drink of his soda then put the can down on the floor beside him. I put mine down too. He turned to look full on me.

“I don’t think so. I didn’t bring you here just so they could try to send you out or you could send yourself out on every mission out of guilt or responsibility,” he said low but harshly.

“But that’s not why I would be doing it. We can’t just think about ourselves here.”

“I’m not! I’m thinking about you!” he all but yelled.

“Mitch. What has come over you?”

I stared at him. He’s never yelled or raised his voice to anyone but Polly in defend of me.

He took my hands. Not like usual. This time he laced our fingers and he stared at them for a moment. Then looked up to me.

“What’s come over me is you. I care about you and I don’t want to see you hurt.”

“I care about you too. That’s why I’d do it. We need all the information we can get to help us. All of us.”

“You care about me?” he asked but refused to look up to my eyes, just watched our hands with odd fascination.

“Of course I do.”

What is he wanting me to say here? Is he wanting me to confess my feelings? I don’t want to hurt him. I like him but, do I like him the same way? I can’t lose him too. I need my best friend.

“Do you? Really?” He met my gaze and held it. His thumbs caressed the insides of my wrists sending embarrassing shivers through me. “I’m not sure it’s the same kind of care as I feel for you.”

“What kind of care do you feel? I know you’re protective. Michael would appreciate it, as I do. But like I said, I don’t want you to feel obligated.”

“And like I said, I’m here because I want to be. I care for you very much, and not just as a Keeper.”

“You’ve been very good to me,” I said and it came out way softer than I intended, so I looked away.

“And I’ll keep being good to you. I want to always be here for you, keeping you safe, as close as you’ll let me be.” He turned me back to face him with a finger under my chin. “I know you miss Michael and I would never try to replace him...and...” he cleared his throat, “I know I’m not human, but I’m here. Whenever you need me, whatever you need. I’m here, Lil.”

The close proximity was affecting my breathing. I let the words sink in and tried to find hidden meanings. Or maybe they weren’t hidden. Maybe he was trying to tell me exactly what he was saying.

I couldn’t process a response. I was so confused. Beyond confused. I did miss Michael but as I told Sherry, I couldn’t help but feel something for Mitchell. What exactly that was, I didn’t know yet. Or was it just hero worship because he was so protective of me? What should I do?

My body seemed to respond without my permission, making up my mind for me. I leaned forward, which wasn’t far to go because we were already so close. I placed my hands on his knees to steady me and let our lips touch.

His hands immediately came up to frame my face and I was thrilled that he didn’t push me away, so I hadn’t misinterpreted. Now I just had to decide if I liked kissing him or not. I pressed my lips to his harder, opened my lips against his and felt him do the same. It’d been so long since I’d kissed anyone and I realized, he never had.

He was breathing heavy and so was I. Our knees interlaced as we sat and turned toward each other on our crates. He smelled of the soap I used to clean his shirt this morning. His lips were hard but gentle and his five o’clock shadow scratched my cheeks.

I have no idea how long we kissed before I broke off. He didn’t release my face but put his forehead on mine. There weren’t fireworks, but it was nice all the same.

“You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do that,” he said breathlessly.

“Then why didn’t you.”

“For one thing, this body is almost twice your age. And another, I didn’t think you wanted me to. You’ve always been so content with just being my friend.”

“I don’t care about your age. I was confused about Michael and everything else going on. Confused about you. I had no idea that you felt anything more than obligation to me,” I said and pulled back a little to look at him. “I was scared. I still am.”

“You don’t have to be scared with me. I’m not gonna pressure you. I know this is a situation to be careful with. I just want to be here for you.”

“I know. And I’m grateful but...”

“But what?”

“Maybe I’m ready for you to not be so careful with me anymore,” I said shocking even myself and I heard his breath hitch.

He eyed me intensely with some wonder and sympathy mixed in. His fingers wiped at my cheeks, that was when I realized I was crying.

“Are you? I’m not gonna rush-”

I cut him off with another kiss. That’s when I knew I was ready. Ready to move on. I wasn’t in love with Mitchell. I knew that. But I was in like with him. This wasn’t something I’d jumped into. I had thought about this. And now I’m ready. Ready to leave Michael in the past as the sweet memory he was and start something new because who knew how much time we had left to live anyway.

Mitchell didn’t hesitate. He pulled me closer and kissed me back with enthusiasm. This time his arms went around my waist and mine went around his neck.

Once again, time went away from me. At some point we pulled away reluctantly, realizing the music had stopped and things had gotten quiet again. It wasn’t the best kiss ever but it was good. I still wasn’t sure what I felt for him. I already knew that Miguel, with that accent - ah - was attracted. I’d seen him follow me with his eyes around the room. And Cain was being super sweet to me too and incredibly charming and his sea green eyes... But I just wanted to kiss Mitchell, to see that I still could.

Mitchell pulled me up from the crate.

“It’s late. We should get to bed,” Mitchell said then paled. “I mean, by ourselves. I wasn’t implying-”

“Mitch, I know.” I laughed because it
was
funny. “It’s ok. I know what you meant. I am really tired, but I need to talk to Sherry first.”

“Ok. I’ll walk you, if that’s ok.”

“Of course it is,” I insisted.

He seemed pretty happy and satisfied as he walked me back to the commons room, holding my hand and left me with Sherry before heading to his room for the night.