Upside Down Inside Out (31 page)

‘Testing him?’

‘To see if he’d flirt back. I guess I wanted to make sure he was good enough for you.’

‘Good enough?’

‘You know what I mean. It’s always been like that with us. I look out for you, you need it. You know that yourself, look how easily Dermot took you in. I just didn’t want it to happen to you again.’

‘This is how you think of me? As some mindless waif? Then let’s just call this friendship off here and now, will we? Because clearly you think I haven’t a brain in my head.’

‘Of course I know you have a brain. You know I think you’re great. But come on, you’re always the first person to say you don’t know what to do or which way to go. I suppose I just got used to giving you advice.’

‘It may come as a surprise to you, Lainey, but not all of us ordinary mortals have your endless well of self-confidence to draw from. Some of us out here in the real world find life a bit difficult sometimes. We don’t all breeze through it like you seem to.’

‘That’s rubbish, it’s not like that for me. I’ve worked bloody hard for what I’ve got, you know that better than anyone. And anyway, you’re a fine one to talk. You’re not exactly on the scrap heap yourself, you know. You’ve got a great life. Parents who dote on you, who don’t parade you around like a prize poodle like mine do. You’ve just been offered

a whole business to run. You can sing, even though you don’t. You’ve got artistic talent.’

‘No, Lainey. I haven’t.’

Lainey dismissed her. ‘Yes, you have. I know, I know, you haven’t finished your degree but you will one day.’

Eva’s face was a mixture of defiance and misery. ‘No, I won’t.’

‘What are you talking about? You went to art school for three years, remember? Until Ambrose’s wife died. Remember?’

‘Of course I remember. But I’d made my decision before Sheila died, I just hadn’t told anyone.’

‘What decision?’

‘To leave art school. Before I was kicked out.’

‘What are you talking about, being kicked out? I thought you just postponed your study.’

‘I know that’s what you thought.’

‘But you were going to be kicked out? Why?’

‘Do I really need to spell it out?’

Lainey stared at her blankly.

‘I wasn’t good enough, Lainey. I wasn’t going to pass. I was just average at art, nothing special.’

Lainey was taken aback. ‘But I thought you’d put your studies on hold because you wanted to help Ambrose.’

‘That’s what everyone thought. And I was feeling so ashamed and embarrassed about being a failure as an artist, I didn’t tell anyone the truth.’

‘I don’t get it. You are great at art. I remember those paintings you did of the Hill of Tara that time. They were brilliant.’

Eva managed to laugh. ‘Lainey, that was more than fifteen years ago. I was good technically. But I don’t have that extra something. The spark. Whatever it is that separates the ordinary from the excellent. That’s exactly what the head lecturer told me.’

‘That’s just one person. Couldn’t you have got a second opinion?’

‘I got five second opinions. I took my work around to some galleries and each of them backed up what the lecturer had said. I was just average. Nothing special.’

Eva remembered the week she’d done that, traipsing from gallery to gallery. The last one had been the hardest. That’s when she’d known for sure. After the gallery owner had delivered his verdict, blunt and charmless, she had gone outside and burst into tears. The man’s secretary had followed her out and found her crying. She’d been kind, kinder than anyone else. She’d taken her for a coffee, listened as Eva had poured out her heart. Eva had got the feeling she wasn’t the first failed artist the woman had consoled.

She took a breath. ‘I was about to tell my parents and Ambrose and Sheila what I’d decided. That I was leaving art school, was going to rethink my life. And then Sheila died, and poor Ambrose needed help so

badly. And because I wasn’t going back to study I could help him. I was really happy to help him, but then it backfired. I got all this credit for something I didn’t deserve.’

Lainey was trying to take it all in. ‘Is that why they had that party for you? That one you told me about? At your ma and da’s house?’

Eva remembered every second of that party. Her parents had held it in their house in Dunshaughlin, a year after Sheila had died. A surprise party. They’d found all of Eva’s paintings and hung them up on the walls. Invited all the family friends. Her sister Cathy had sent a video message. Her father had made a lovely speech. Ambrose had spoken too, saying how grateful he was that Eva had come to work for him fulltime, that she had left art school to come and help him out. ‘One day she will have her own exhibition-. Until then, I now declare the Eva Kennedy exhibition open.’

Eva looked at Lainey now. ‘What could I say? Thanks, everyone, but in fact all the paintings on these walls are rubbish and I never will have a real exhibition. I just didn’t say anything. I didn’t lie, I just didn’t tell the whole truth. And I’ve paid for it ever since. And now this, Ambrose wanting to give me the shop in gratitude for something that I didn’t ever really do. I don’t deserve the shop.’

‘Evie, you do deserve it. You didn’t have to go full time four years ago. You could have done something

else. Anyway, whether you were there wholly and solely because you felt sorry for Ambrose or because you were glad to have something else to do while you licked your wounds about art school, the outcome is the same. You worked in the shop, didn’t you? Side by side with Ambrose. I bet that’s exactly why he’s offering you the shop, because he knows you’d be good at it.’ There was a long pause as Eva’s revelations settled around them. Then Lainey spoke again. ‘So what about your singing? With that band? Was that real?’ ‘No, that was all dubbed.’ Eva managed a wry smile. ‘Yes, of course it was real. I loved the singing. But I couldn’t take time off to sing with the band, not when everyone was praising me so much for helping Ambrose. I felt guilty enough as it was.’ ‘Oh Evie, I just wish I’d known all this before now, that you’d told me all of this. Not just about the art school, but about Martin, all of it. I hate the idea that you’ve been angry about all this for years, bottling it all up. What am I going to do with you?’ Eva’s temper gave one final flash. ‘Lainey, please, you don’t have to do anything with me. I’m thirty one. You’re not responsible for me any more.’ Lainey gave a sheepish grin. ‘All right, I won’t boss you. I’m sorry, I know I do it. It’s part of my charm, don’t you think? But I can advise you now and then, can’t I? Push you gently in the right direction? Like good friends do?’

Eva tried not to smile. ‘Yes, you can make a suggestion. But you’re not allowed to give me a time limit for when I take it up, okay?’ ‘Okay.’ ‘Go on then. What is this suggestion?’ ‘I really think you have to tell Joe the truth. If this is serious between you, if you do really like him.’ ‘I know. Of course I know. I’ve wanted to tell him the truth since I first met him. I’ve just been waiting for the right moment. But each time something keeps stopping me.’ ‘What thing?’ ‘Can’t you see? Everything he likes about me is a lie. If I tell him the truth, there’s nothing left of me to like.’ ‘Oh, for God’s sake. You and Joe don’t talk about sculpting and your singing the whole time, do you?’ ‘No, of course not. Hardly at all any more.’ She thought about it. They didn’t. There seemed to be too many other things to talk about. ‘And you weren’t paying him to kiss you today, were you?’ ‘No.’ ‘And have you … ?’ ‘Have I what?’ ‘You know.’ ‘Lainey! It’s none of your business.’ ‘Then you haven’t. But you want to, don’t you? And he does too. I’ve seen the way he looks at you.’

‘Lainey, please! What do you want, tickets to the event?’

Lainey laughed. ‘Seriously, Evie. You have to tell him the truth. When does he go back home?’

‘Soon.’ She hated the word.

‘And have you talked about what might happen then? When you’re both back home?’

‘No. But I know I want to see him again. I really want to see him again.’

Lainey gave her a long look. ‘This isn’t just a holiday romance for you, Evie, is it?’

Eva shook her head. ‘No, Lainey, I don’t think it is.’

The phone rang, making them both jump. Lainey answered. ‘Yes, she is. No, don’t worry, we were still up. Yes, she’s fine. Hold on.’

She held out the phone. ‘Niamh, it’s Joe.’

The next day Joseph parked the hire car outside the Richmond apartment. The back seat was covered with everything he’d gathered to bring on their trip to the Great Ocean Road. He had spent an hour that morning in the food hall of a large department store. After loading up the car, he’d returned to his hotel room. He’d glanced at his mobile, lying on the desk, its battery flat. It had gone from being a high technology communication tool to a useless bit of plastic. He still hadn’t rung Kate. He would. Tonight, or tomorrow perhaps. He was still letting all Lewis had told him sift through his mind, letting everything settle into place. He knew Lewis was going to phone her, tell her that the meeting had gone well. Better than well. In the meantime there were other important things he needed to do. Like spend the day with

Niamh. And tell her the truth about himself. He still hadn’t managed to do it. He wanted to talk about some other things too, about the way he was feeling about her. And about what might happen when they both went home.

He got out of the car and looked up at the sky. It was still heavy and grey. He spoke into the entry phone. ‘It’s Joe.’

The door buzzed and he went upstairs.

Up in the flat, Eva turned to her friend. ‘Lainey, you’re sure you don’t mind me going like this?’

‘I don’t mind at all,’ Lainey said, almost truthfully. They were still stepping a little gingerly around each other.

‘Really?’

‘Evie, I know how important this is to you. You don’t have to ask my permission. Remember our new rule?’

‘I know that. But you flew down to see me specially. I’m here to see you.’

‘Evie, honestly. I’m exhausted, I’m probably going to sleep all day anyway. And I get to see you tonight, don’t I?’

‘I’ll be back for dinner, I promise.’

‘Excellent. Listen, could you quickly pass me that phone book there, before Joe gets up here?’

Eva passed it over. ‘What are you looking for?’

Lainey flicked through the pages. ‘I want to see if I can hire any drug-sniffer dogs. To check Joe out when he brings you home tonight.’ Eva threw a cushion at her just as they both heard a knock at the door. Lainey gave a mischievous smile. ‘He awaits. Go, my child. Go to this man who calls you.’

The rain was pelting down by the time Joseph and Eva got to the car. A sharp wind gusted around them. They climbed in and turned to each other. ‘Joe, we need to talk.’ ‘Niamh, I think we need to talk.’ Eva swallowed. ‘Could we drive on a bit, do you think?’ ‘Of course.’ He pulled over just a few minutes away, in a parking area overlooking the River Yarra. The rain was heavy on the roof. He gave her a searching look. ‘Niamh, what happened last night?’ She took a deep breath. ‘It was something between Lainey and me, something from years ago and I’m afraid you got caught up in the middle of it. I’m sorry.’ She wanted to tell him more about it. More about how she felt. ‘I thought you …’ She stopped. ‘I was jealous of her. I have been for years, I’ve realised.’ ‘Why?’ Wasn’t it obvious? ‘Lots of things. Everything about her. Her looks. Her confidence. Her …’ She

was faltering, thrown by the expression on his face. A mixture of amusement and something else.

‘Niamh, Lainey seems very nice. She’s very lively, very entertaining. But she’s not you.’

She turned around in her seat completely. ‘And is that not too boring? Too ordinary?’

There was a look in his eyes that made her shiver and tingle at once. ‘Too boring? You? With your sculpting and the life you lead in Galway and the way you look at things?’ He smiled. ‘No, Niamh, it’s not too boring. Not in a million years.’

He leaned over and kissed her, his lips soft against hers. ‘I’m glad you told me that. Told me what had been wrong.’

‘Are you?’

‘You’re very straightforward, aren’t you? There’s no pretence with you.’ He touched her cheek. ‘Now, can I please take you away for the day?’

She nodded weakly. Straightforward? No pretence? If he only knew the half of it.

An hour later they were still stuck in city traffic. There were traffic diversions in place all over the city. A visiting head of state, an irate cab driver had shouted in answer to Joseph’s question.

The windscreen wipers were working hard against the lashing rain. A sign ahead of them pointed to something called the Dandenongs. What

were they? Eva wondered. They sounded like body parts.

The news came on the radio, followed by a long sports report, then the weather. A low off Bass Strait was causing extensive heavy rainfall and fog throughout Melbourne and surrounding areas. Drivers were warned to take extra care, particularly in coastal regions.

Joseph made a decision. ‘I promised you a picnic, didn’t I? With ocean views?’

‘You did.’

‘I can’t go back on a promise. Will you trust me if I change part of the plan?’

‘Of course.’

He turned the car and drove back in the opposite direction. Twenty minutes later, they were parked outside the big hotel on the St Kilda Esplanade.

‘Will you wait here?’ Joseph asked.

She nodded.

‘Shut your eyes for a minute.’

She did and heard a rustle of bags and paper from the back seat. Then his voice again. ‘I’ll be back very soon.’

‘You’d like to book another room with us, Mr Wheeler?’

‘The best room you have, please. And it has to have sea views.’

The receptionist nodded. There was a click of keyboard keys. ‘The penthouse suite is available. It’s got a superior-sized bedroom, a living area, bathroom with spa ‘ ‘That sounds perfect. I also need a few other bits and pieces, I wonder if you could help me.’ The receptionist didn’t blink. ‘Certainly, sir.’

Ten minutes later, Eva jumped at the sound of a voice at her car window. Joseph was standing there with an umbrella. ‘If you’d like to come with me, madam?’ ‘I would indeed.’ He sheltered her as they walked from the carpark into the foyer. She expected to be taken into the bar area, or into the restaurant section. But instead he led her straight to the lifts. ‘Am I allowed to ask questions?’ ‘Of course. But I won’t answer them. This is a surprise.’ She watched as he pressed the top-floor button. The lift reached its destination in seconds. Eva stepped out first and turned to Joseph, unsure what to do next. ‘Look down. There’s a clue.’ She looked down at the floor. At first she thought it was an odd pattern. Then she thought someone must have dropped something. Finally she realised what it was.