Upstate Uproar (4 page)

They did, then the three walked to the
house.

Tracy met them at the front door with a hot
toddy. “After seeing your friend slosh upstairs, I thought you
might need this.” She passed the drinks out, then smiled at Kate.
“Yours is virgin.”

“Thanks,” Vivian said. “Smells good.”

They went inside and hunkered by the fire,
showing off the pictures of Lucy flailing in the water to the
newlyweds. They all laughed.

Mitzie snuggled close to her groom. “Would
you have gone in after me?”

“Of course, my schmoopsy-poo.” Wendell kissed
her forehead then whispered in her ear.

Mitzie turned bright red and Vivian thought
she heard the word “handcuffs.”

Vivian giggled to herself.
Wendell might
be wilder than he looks.

Tracy walked in with a tray of deli meats,
bread and cheeses and set it on the coffee table. “I thought you
might be hungry so I wanted to offer a little something. Sorry it’s
not more elaborate.”

Kate started creating a sandwich masterpiece
of roast beef, corned beef and Swiss cheese. “Thank you so much,
I’m starving.”

Wendy and Vivian let Kate have first dibs,
then Vivian piled hers high with ham, turkey and pepper jack
cheese. Wendy munched on a couple of slices of cheddar.

Wendell asked, “Do you have plans for later?
Mitzie and I went to the corn maze last night. They practically had
to send out a search party to find us, but we weren’t lost. We were
doing the thing that lovers do.”

The pink in Mitzie’s cheeks spread to her
chest, but she slapped at Wendell’s knee playfully. “Oh, Boo-Boo
Bear, don’t tell everyone.”

He winked at her. “Let’s go get lost
again.”

She giggled and leaned in for a kiss on the
cheek.

“I’m getting lost right now,” Vivian said and
stood up with her sandwich. “You two lovebirds have fun.”

“I think y’all are adorable,” Kate said
between bites.

Vivian ran into a freshly showered Lucy in
the hall. Her hair was pulled into a tight ponytail, and she had on
several layers.

“I can’t seem to get warm,” Lucy said.

“There’s a lot of body heat in the living
area, compliments of the newlyweds. Good news is Tracy put a tray
of sandwich stuff out. I’m losing myself at the breakfast table;
feel free to join me.”

“Okay, loser, see ya in a sec.”

Vivian sat at the table and got a fresh
napkin from the porcelain holder on the table.

Brandon emerged from the kitchen. He smelled
like diesel fuel and wiped his hands on a blue shop rag.
“Everything okay?”

Vivian gave him a thumbs up. “Yep, thanks.
I’m a bit of a klutz and didn’t want to make a mess in there. I
require a table.” She drummed her fingernails on the oak.

He tucked the rag into his back pocket. His
checkered, flannel shirt was open and untucked, and his undershirt
was streaked with grease and sweat. He had a childish look about
him, unkempt, and his dark hair had fallen into his eyes. Below his
eyes were dark circles, as if he didn’t sleep well or carried the
weight of the world on his shoulders.

Vivian wiped her mouth and asked, “What’s
this I hear about a corn maze?”

Brandon grinned. “Ah, yes, the Amazing Maize
Maze. It’s only around for a few more days. Then they’ll
harvest.”

“Is it far?”

“Nah, not at all. I’m happy to drive you
girls over if you want to go. I’d like to go visit with the owners,
Bill and Jan, anyway.”

“We don’t have anything else planned, might
as well. Thanks!” Vivian took the last bite of her sandwich and
crumpled her napkin into a ball.

Lucy walked in carrying a four-inch mountain
of meat and cheese. No bread. She sat across from Vivian. “I saw
the body heat you were talking about,” she said. “I think I’ll
pass.”

Vivian smiled at her. “Nice mound of meat you
have there.”

“Gotta stay away from the carbs. Buns go
straight to my buns.” She wrapped a piece of cheese with a slice of
ham and turkey and started munching.

Brandon laughed at their exchange, then
looked at Vivian. “Around 9:30 sound good?”

“Perfecto,” Vivian responded.

“What’s the plan?” Lucy asked.

“Get ready to be amazed at the Amazing Maize
Maze.”

“Oh no, you mean like in
Signs
? That
movie freaked me out. I’m not good with aliens, and I’ve already
had my Area 51 paranoia dismissed today. And it was legit.”

Brandon chuckled. “The most alien thing
you’re going to encounter tonight is Mrs. Zimmerman’s square funnel
cakes. Who the heck makes square funnel cakes?” He laughed, turned
and went upstairs.

“I’ll brave aliens for funnel cake,” Lucy
said and stuck a whole piece of ham in her mouth.

“Then it’s settled.” Vivian scooted her chair
out. “We’ll eat funnel cake while going alien hunting in crazy,
creepy cornstalks.”

T
he girls bundled up
and walked downstairs to meet Brandon for their adventure at the
Amazing Maize Maze. They had relaxed after canoeing that afternoon
and were ready for some post-sunset excitement.

Brandon met them in the living room. “You
ready to go? I have Fred pulled around.”

“Fred?” Kate asked.

“My Expedition.”

Tracy, wine glass in hand, opened the front
door for them. “Scooter Bill likes to name his vehicles.”

Vivian laughed and said to Brandon on her way
out, “Scooter Bill?”

He rolled his eyes. “It’s a long story, and
don’t you dare call me that.”

Lucy hopped in the passenger seat while Kate,
Vivian and Wendy shared the back bench.

“Don’t you need to sit up front?” Wendy asked
Kate.

“It’s a short drive.”

They started down the road and Brandon asked,
“So what do you think of Turlington Farms? We’ve put a lot of work
into it, but I’m always looking for ways to improve.”

“I love how you’ve restored everything, it’s
so bright and airy,” Kate said. “I know that’s tough to accomplish
with nineteenth-century farmhouses.”

Lucy chimed in. “And good job on the updated
furnishings!”

“You’re last name is Holt, right? So who are
the Turlingtons?” Wendy asked.

Brandon glanced at her in the rearview
mirror. “This property was in my first wife’s family for
generations. They’re great people. I’m still close with her
parents, but it was too much land for them to keep up. The house is
older, which can be a problem. They moved into a townhouse in
Albany several years back and left us the farm.”

“Did the farm actually ever farm anything?”
Kate asked.

“Mary Beth’s grandparents, and then her
parents, grew all kinds of vegetables and raised dairy cows.
Keeping up with everything is tough work, and once Mary Beth and I
did a financial analysis, we figured it’d be better to sell the
cows, keep a smaller garden and open a bed and breakfast. She died
just as we were getting ready to open.” Brandon paused. “I’ve kept
it going because it was our dream.”

“Wow, that’s a big commitment,” Vivian
said.

They drove along about three miles, talking
about the town.

Brandon turned off the county road onto a
dirt lane. Leaning against a tree was a hand-painted plywood sign
with a big arrow pointing to the right. It was lit by a single
spotlight and read “Amazing Maize Maze.”

The SUV bumped along the dark dirt road until
it opened to a field. Brandon parked between two other cars in a
makeshift lot near the house and turned off the truck. “See you all
at the end of the amazing maze.” He got out of Fred and closed the
door with a bang.

“That house looks JUST like the one in
Signs
,” Lucy said and hit her lock. “I’m not getting
out.”

“I saw that movie,” Vivian said. “This house
looks nothing like the one in the movie.”

“Yes, it does. It looks like it has the
creepy window/door face.” Lucy turned around to look at them.
“Don’t you remember when the kids are reading the book about
aliens? They had on the pointy aluminum foil hats?”

Kate opened her door. “I remember that the
humans won in the end.” With that, she hopped out.

“Guess we’re going,” Vivian said and opened
her door. “We can’t let a pregnant lady wander the maze alone.”

Wendy followed Vivian, and Lucy eventually
pulled herself away from the safety of the car and joined them.

“I’d like to go on record as saying this is a
bad idea,” Lucy said, scanning the night sky as if looking for
UFOs.

The moon shone above them, but clouds passed
occasionally, making it darker and more difficult to see.

Vivian pulled her sweater tight as they
walked along the edge of the cornstalks to the front porch of the
house where a few people were sitting, standing and rocking,
Brandon among them.

An older man in overalls sat on the steps
wearing a booty bag. Vivian smirked at the sight, having not seen a
booty bag in a while, and never on someone wearing overalls. He
could have walked out of the “American Gothic” painting.

He grinned at them as they walked in his
direction, showing a nice set of dentures that flapped a little
when he spoke. “Greetings. Welcome to our home and the Lake Placid
Amazing Maize Maze.”

Wendy stuck out her hand and made
introductions. “We’re glad to be here. This is our first maze!”

Brandon spoke up. “They’re staying with us,
Bill, so give them a discount.”

Bill thought about that for a moment. “How
about buy three, get one free, just like they do in the five ’n’
dime when you buy tube socks?”

“Sounds good to me.” Wendy said and dug into
her jacket pocket. “How much for three?”

“Fifteen smackers,” he smacked.

She handed him a twenty and he counted out
five ones.

“You start over by the three
jack-o’-lanterns,” he said, pointing to his left. “There are
flashlights on that table. One per pair, please, got to have enough
for the crowds.”

Vivian didn’t see any new cars pulling in.
Maybe eight cars is a crowd
?

They walked over to the table and tested the
flashlights.

“Let’s have a contest and see who can get to
the end first,” Vivian squealed, getting excited at the prospect of
going into her first maize maze.

“I think we should stick together,” Lucy
said, banging a flashlight on the heel of her hand, which produced
a solid beam of light.

“Nah, buddy system, but twosome buddies.”
Wendy agreed with Vivian. “Who’s with whom?”

“I’ll take scaredy-cat here,” Vivian said.
“You take preggo. Y’all go first. We’ll give you a two-minute head
start.”

Wendy and Kate hooked arms. Kate held a
large, rectangular, yellow flashlight.

“On your mark, get set, go!” Vivian yelled.
She and Lucy watched as Wendy and Kate scurried off into the corn,
giggling like schoolgirls. Vivian could hear them debating which
way to go.

“I still think this is way too cliché,” Lucy
said, picking up a different flashlight and clicking it on and off.
Satisfied with one, she shined the light under her chin and changed
her voice to sound something like Vincent Price. “But since you’ve
chosen the dark side, I’ll be your corn companion. Wahahahaha.
Waahaaahaaahaa haa.”

Thriller
flashed through Vivian’s
thoughts, along with images of zombies crawling their way out of
graves. She laughed. “Corny companion is more like it.”

L
ucy lit the way
through the rows of corn with the flashlight as she and Vivian
tromped through the maze. The stalks rose above both of their heads
and Vivian wished she was holding their single source of
illumination rather than Lucy.

“This giant corn makes me feel shorter than I
usually do,” Lucy said, shining the light left and right, then up
and down the stalks. At 5-foot-3 she was the shortest of the four
friends.

“I know. Me, too,” Vivian said. She stood 5-5
and couldn’t see over the corn, either. “Can I be in charge of the
flashlight?”

“Negative, no way, un-uh. I’ve got this bad
boy,” Lucy replied.

They walked along, making twists and turns,
not worrying which way they were going. Occasionally Vivian would
see the dim glow of another flashlight through the swaying stalks,
but it always disappeared quickly.

Chatter and whispers swept across the corn.
Vivian couldn’t tell from which direction the sounds were coming.
The wind increased, and she pulled up the neck of her sweater.

“My nose is cold,” Lucy said. “Let’s find our
way outta here before we freeze or get beamed up on a
spaceship.”

“I agree, but not because I’m worried about
beaming,” Vivian said. She looked up to the sky anyway.

They followed the maze going toward what they
thought was the direction of the house, but after a few minutes
they turned around.

“How long before they send out a search
party, I wonder,” Lucy said. “They probably should have given us
rescue flares, with our luck.”

“What do you mean by that?” Vivian asked. “
‘With our luck?’ ”

“Oh, come on! We can’t take a trip that
doesn’t tank, at least temporarily.”

“We have fun, though.”

“We do, but someone’s always ending up in the
back of a police car or in handcuffs. Even you, Viv.”

“And not the kinky, fun kind!” Vivian said,
but Lucy wasn’t joking.

“And now look at Jake. He’s still missing
from his last trip.” Just then, the flashlight flickered and went
out. Lucy smacked it with the palm of her hand, but nothing
changed. “Oh my god!” She jumped up and down. “The aliens are
coming! This is what happens, they take all energy from stuff!”

“Let me see it,” Vivian said and took the
flashlight from the bouncing Lucy. She whacked it on her leg but
still no flicker or flash. “Guess we’ll be mazing by
moonlight.”