Users (37 page)

Cael pointed to his nightstand. “Your bottle of tea over there. Pull out the liquid.”

I lifted the brown liquid out, moved it in a spiral, and sent it back down into the bottle. I was too forceful in putting it back in, and the bottle tipped. Tea splashed everywhere. But it was an easy cleanup.

Cael laughed. “That is so freaking amazing!”

I smiled at him, loving him even more for thinking that the bad parts of me were actually good. I watched him rub his hand over the floor and the nightstand where the tea had spilled.

He said, “It’s dry. You got up every bit of it.” He poured the tea onto his comforter. “Can you get it all out of something more porous?”

When I had all of the liquid back in the bottle, Cael felt the cotton and grinned. “Dry as a bone.” He walked over to his desk where the leftovers from our lunch sat. He picked up an orange wedge. “This has water in it. Try it.” He tossed it at me.

I stopped it in mid-air and made it hover, and then I gasped and clamped a hand over my mouth. The wedge started falling, but I thought to return it to the tray, and it happened. Cael looked awed, and I wanted to keep impressing him. “Try something else.” He picked up half a blueberry muffin. “That’s not juicy like an orange.”

“It’s moist. It has water in it. Try it,” he encouraged. Again, he tossed it at me, and I immediately pushed it back. I used a little too much force, and the muffin flew backwards like I’d hit it with a baseball bat.

Cael ducked out of the way and laughed. “Did you just start a food fight?”

I backed up to the opposite wall and curled my fingers, beckoning. “Bring it on.”

He laughed and wound up for a pitch. “Batter, batter, batter, swiiiing batter.”

A slice of ham hurdled forward, unfolding from the wad he had it in as it sailed through the air. I pushed it back, directing it at Cael’s face. He jumped when it hit, and then peeled it away from his forehead and nose. A grin stole over his face. “So that’s how you want to play.”

I angled myself to the side and squatted just a bit, holding up my arms as if I had a bat in my hands. Cael picked up an apple wedge in one hand and a slice of cheese in the other. “Ohh, trying to make it difficult, are you?”

“Let’s see how you handle two objects at once.”

I chuckled and told him, “I’ve been practicing this kind of stuff already. I can freeze fifty birds with one look. This is child’s play.” He threw them both before I’d finished my sentence. But I swung my pretend bat and sent the objects flying back to him. He threw his arms up to cover his face; the cheese landed on his forearm, and the apple wedge bounced off his stomach.

“That does it,” he told me. “I’m done taking it easy on you.” He started throwing anything he could find at me: grapes, a banana peel, my unopened bag of chips. He ducked as I sent everything back at him, both of us laughing like crazy.

More stuff came at me: another slice of lunch meat, a wadded up napkin, a crumpled ball of paper. I batted them all back. Then Cael stopped suddenly and stood straight, staring at me with wonder.

I laughed, “I think some of those were home runs.”

“Iggy,” he said in a serious tone that flipped off my happy mood switch. “I threw a
napkin
at you. A wad of
paper
.”

It took only a second before I understood the ramifications of what he’d just pointed out. My eyes widened, and I wrapped my arms around myself, backing up to lean against the wall. “Oh, my god,” I breathed and covered my open mouth with one hand.

Cael looked as stunned as I felt. For a full minute, we just leaned against opposite walls and stared at each other. Then he walked forward and reached out for me. I went right into his arms, relieved that I hadn’t scared him off. But he lifted me off the ground and swung me around, laughing. Laughing! It was infectious, and I laughed with him. Then he set me down and pressed his lips to mine. “That was amazing.”

“It was?”

“Look what you can do! I’m speechless. I can’t even think straight. I…I don’t know what to say.”

Cael wasn’t angry with me. Not disappointed. Not afraid. Not appalled. He accepted everything about me so easily, and my body filled up with how much I loved him. Loved his laughter. Loved that he could play fun games with a power I thought was nothing but evil. I told him, “Just say you love me.”

He threaded his fingers through my hair, holding my head still so he could pierce me with the intensity of his gaze. “I love you, Iggy. Always.” And he stayed by my side as I experimented.

Chapter 31

Iggy

On New Year’s Eve morning, Cael was looking through some of my old test procedures and results again, furiously typing away on his laptop. I remembered that Wesley had wanted to talk to me about something the other day, and I headed for his room. I hoped we were finally going to have a heart to heart and get back to the way things used to be between us. I missed him. I missed the special bond we shared. I missed the way we practically read each others thoughts. I missed his hugs, his support, his advice. I loved Cael, but no one could replace Wesley. And I hoped Wes felt the same way.

His door was cracked, and a glance through the opening revealed no one was at his desk or on the sofa. I started to turn away, but then I thought I heard his voice. I pushed on the door and stepped inside. “Hello?”

The noise I heard was coming from the bathroom. I turned to look, thinking I might find Wes showering or shaving. The door was cracked, and I barreled ahead to burst in. But before I got too close, I saw my best friend and Alex naked, and Wesley had her pinned against the bathroom wall with her legs around his hips. The way they moved together and the noises they made sickened me. I felt like someone had stabbed a knife through my gut, and I clamped a hand over my mouth to keep myself quiet as I backed quickly away, unable to tear my eyes away. But I bumped into Wesley’s bed, making a scraping noise that caught his attention. He looked at me. Our eyes met. I was frozen to the spot. Stunned. Knowing about it was one thing. Seeing it was more painful than I ever imagined.

“Shit! Fuck!”

I buried my face in my hands, unable to stop the tears. I heard Wes say, “Get off me,” followed by a grunt.

Alex exclaimed, “What the hell?”

There was a shuffling noise, and then he strode out of the bathroom wearing an unbuttoned pair of jeans, Alex right behind him, wrapping a towel around her torso. I should run. Move. Stop crying. Stop embarrassing myself.

“Out,” he ordered Alex.

“Why don’t you tell
her
to get out?” she yelled, pointing at me.

Wesley’s response was to physically turn Alex around and shove her forward until she was out the door. Then he slammed the door shut. He turned around and looked at me. I hadn’t moved a muscle. “What are you doing here?” His jeans were falling down. He hoisted them up and put his hands on his hips.

I took my hand away from my mouth and said to the floor, “I…um…you mentioned you wanted to talk to me.” I sounded weak. Little. My voice trembled and I felt more tears slide down my cheeks. “I'm used to just barging in on you. I didn't think...I should have considered that you might not be alone.”

Wesley sighed and walked toward me. “Iggy…”

“I thought I could handle it.” When his hands touched my shoulders, I shoved him so hard that he stumbled backwards. “Don’t touch me!

He held up his hands. “Iggy, please. Let’s talk about this.”

“I don’t want to talk to you, Wesley. Ever. I never want you to hug me again. You’re…
contaminated
.” I spat the word at him. I realized I was leaning against his bed, and I straightened, giving it a look of disgust. “You’re bed’s contaminated. This
room
is contaminated.”

“Stop it!” he snapped. “I’m sorry you saw that, but I’m human. There’s nothing wrong with what I’ve done. And you
knew
Alex and I were together.”

“Why does it have to be
her
?” I whined. “Have you lost your mind? Has she made you so stupid that you would screw a person you know is trash?”

“She's not trash. And it’s none of your business who I fuck, Iggy. I know you lost your virginity to Cael. I’ve hardly seen you this past week because you two are always fucking. And I don’t go butting into your relationship with him.”

“But I’m your best friend.” God, I sounded like a petulant child! “You’ve ignored me for nearly a month. You’ve thrown away our friendship so you can fuck a skank!”

“I haven’t thrown away anything. I’m your
friend
, not your boyfriend. You can’t get jealous every time I fuck someone.”

“I’m not jealous!”

“Then why are you so fucking pissed off at me?”

I thought about my answer, and when I realized the truth, a fresh wave of tears spilled over. “You’re right, Wes. I
am
jealous. I admit it.” He stepped back, shocked by my confession.

“But Iggy, I’ve never led you on.” His words were softer.

“That’s my point. For the last eight years, you’ve been everything to me.” I rolled my eyes. “God. Now I can see it. My world practically revolved around you. And no, we didn’t have a romantic relationship because you wouldn’t even give it a try. I wasn’t good enough for you. In all these years, you wouldn’t even kiss me. And now that we’re here in this shit hole, you fuck the resident bitch.”

“Iggy…”

He moved toward me. I backed away. “Do you know how that makes me feel? I love you, Wesley. And I wasn’t good enough for you. Or maybe I should say I wasn’t bad enough for you. You obviously like the bad girls.”

“Alex and I don’t have a relationship. I don’t care about her.”

I made a sound of frustration. “Is that supposed to make me feel better? You fuck a girl you don’t care about. But me, who you said you loved…you wouldn’t even give me a chance!” I started to run out of the room, but he caught me and held me tight. The feel of his arms, the smell of him, his voice…everything about him was part of growing up. But somewhere along the way, my feelings about him had grown up as well. I truly was jealous. I had lost Wesley. And now everything was gone. I buried my face in the hollow at the base of his neck.

“I’m so sorry, Iggy,” he soothed, stroking my hair. “I’ve always wanted you. I’ve spent countless hours dreaming about you. We should have talked about this a long time ago.” He sighed. “I didn’t give you a chance because you’re too good for me. I would only have hurt you. And I love you too much to risk you hating me because I slept with you. I was saving you from a bad choice.
I’m
a bad choice.”

I pushed him away like I’d been burned. “That’s a stupid excuse, and I hate it when you put yourself down.” I straightened my spine. “You’re a coward. If you thought about kissing me, you should have done it when you had the chance. Because I fell in love with you anyway, and it hurts like fucking hell!” He reached out for me and I slapped his hand away. “And I know it shouldn’t. I know I shouldn’t care. I have…Forget it.” I pushed him aside and ran for the door.

Wesley lunged for the remote and locked us in. I twisted the handle and pulled. “You can’t leave like this,” he told me. “Please, Iggy. There’s a reason I’m with Alex. Listen!” He grabbed my arm and hauled me around. I jerked my arm away and backed toward the bed again. “I think she and Brodie and Gavin are plotting something against you and one or two others. Getting close to her will help me help you. I was looking through her things, and I’m almost sure –”

My jaw dropped. “Did you just say you’re fucking Alex because of
me
? To
help
me?” I couldn’t help the sob that escaped. “You bastard!” I ran to the door and pulled. “Let me out!”

“No, Iggy. We need to talk.”

I tried to snatch the remote from him, but he was so much taller, and he easily held it out of my reach. I felt humiliated! Everything he’d done – everything he hadn’t done – made me feel insignificant and stupid. Jumping for the remote was humiliating. Him seeing me cry was humiliating. “I want
out
!” I screamed, reaching for the door. Wesley was still holding the remote high in the air when the door clicked and swung open. I ran out, wanting so much for it to slam closed behind me that it happened.

The people in the hallway backed out of my way as I ran for my room. Wesley was close behind me, yelling for me to stop. It was another scene that drew everyone in like flies to horse shit. Even Cael came running down the hall.

“What did you do to her?” Cael yelled at Wesley.

Wes shouted, “It’s none of your fucking business. Go away!”

Wesley grabbed my arm when I was almost to my room. Cael punched him so hard, Wesley went sprawling onto the floor. Alex was watching the whole thing, and she proclaimed, “Iggy, you’re a natural at fucking everything up, aren’t you?”

I glared at her.
Don't hurt her. Don't do it. Don't Iggy
.