Vaewolf: Damn the Darkness: The Prophecy's Promise (Hearts of Darkness Book 3) (24 page)

Two Months later - No Dylan, No Herb

By the next full moon waned, Caitlin realized she missed the cranky wolf for the week he’d been locked up during the height of his lunar cycle. Substituting his bagged blood and even Shelby’s wasn’t enough to stave off her Hunger. Blood from his vein satisfied her as nothing ever had, other than Dylan’s. But another problem threatened her ability to resist the wolf.

The last of the ingredients for the potion Tanya made to subdue her sex fae were missing, and Jackson was back. With every encounter since his wolf imprinted on her, the wolf DNA in her allowed their bond to deepen, and suppressing the dark sex fae had become nearly impossible. She’d have to depend on Jackson to control the situation.

“I’m glad you’re back, but there’s something I have to tell you. You know Isobel’s been giving me Tanya’s brew to keep me...” Caitlin felt the blush to her eyelashes. “You understand the fae’s sexual needs?” She could never accept them as her own.

“
Cher
, I feel her need. But the herb—”

“The herb is gone. When Dylan left there was enough to last until two weeks ago. Since he hasn’t returned, Tanya offered to make another batch, but reported her stash is missing. Someone pilfered it from their store, and there’s no more anywhere. Short of dealing with the demons for the contraband herbs, there is no source here. Shelby says I’m going to get worse, and I can hardly stand the
needing
now.”

“Maybe Simone can help. She’s learned to control her dark fae side. She must know a way.”

“Brilliant idea. I’ll ask her to come by.” Caitlin didn’t know how to broach the subject of her feelings with this hard man she barely knew. “But we may have to face this. I’m physically weaker. Blood isn’t nourishing me like it was. Given her first opportunity, the fae will seduce you, and I want you to understand how I feel despite her motives.”

“I understand you will have to be serviced. Dylan knew.”

“Oh my God, that is so very unflattering.”

“I’m sorry. It’s not a position either of us wants to be forced into.”

“Y-you don’t want me?” The sudden disappointment hurt.

Jackson looked as if she’d said something funny. “Oh, Caitlin, you know I do. Sometimes, more than I can stand. But I want you to desire me too, not that fae or the wolf inside you because of some
calling
.”

“Oh, good…I feel the same way. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Look,
cher,
Dylan could rip me limb from limb and couldn’t hurt me, but you—you’re a different story.”

“If I’m meant for him, the way I think I am, why would I also feel this connection to you. It can’t be wrong. Even without the sexual longing, I’ve come to care for you. Is it love? No not yet…” She touched his neck at the pulse point. “Dylan left to escape dealing with the connection growing between us. He blames himself and came to distrust the bond he and I formed. He won’t return until he discovers why you experienced the
calling
with me. He knew before he left my sex fae would fight me.”

“I won’t be able to turn her away if your need endangers you. I understand why Dylan couldn’t abide being here. It’s not in the vampire nature to share life mates. Even the vampire part of me is experiencing the possessive bond.”

“There is no possibility of choosing between you, Jackson
.
I’m certain, now more than ever, I’m meant for you both. I don’t care what the prophecy says or what anyone believes. I know deep in my heart, I will always want Dylan, even if you and I are bound.”

To Caitlin, having Dylan in her mind was like pleasant background music, the scent of rain on a summer day, the warmth missing from her soul, or the brilliance of the sun she could never fully experience again. Even though Jackson did his best to fill that void, nothing less than Dylan would do.

“I want to believe you, but I won’t risk the alternative. Would you, knowing rejection would send him to ground or worse?”

“Never. His absence hurts you as much as it does me, doesn’t it. Can you tell me why?”

“You have no idea what he is to me.” He extricated himself from her embrace and walked away. “Dylan’s absence in this territory, not to mention from your mind, your heart, your bed,” he spit out each word like a curse, “is like a festering wound to me, and to those he left behind—a constant reminder that all is not right. A part of the whole is missing.”

“That’s it. That’s exactly how I feel.”

“I know because much of what I’m experiencing
are
your feelings and,
cher,
they’re torturing me. I should be able to make my mate happy and, under the circumstance, I can’t. I wish we knew how far Dylan’s research has progressed.”

“If we want this relationship to work, you need to know me better. You should come to understand your father’s connection with Dylan and accept it. I don’t think a born vampire can ever comprehend the bond between a made vampire and his maker. Dylan will never break his oath. Shelby and I have a devotion to each other I can’t define.”

“I understand your bond with Dylan goes deeper.” Disappointment flashed behind his eyes. “You love him.”

“True. What I’m trying to explain is the council and the pack elders don’t frighten or intimidate me. I’m not afraid of being different, or going against tradition. Dylan opened my mind to the existence of this world, but my existence in my world wasn’t easy before all this.”

Jackson looked up and wrinkled his brow with a curious expression. “How?”

“Juggling this life between the Lycan and the vamp laws isn’t so very different from the life I lived as a mortal. Well, except for the need for blood.” She licked her lips and glanced at Jackson’s throat. “In fact, it’s weird how similar things are. I’ve always been different. My abilities are highly unusual, so I held myself apart from others to hide my psychic ability.

Caitlin pointed at herself. “Later things didn’t change. A psychic, even one with the FBI stamp of approval, is an oddity. My focus remained solely on my job. I loved my career. It became everything, kept me motivated and busy, and in the end, replaced family and relationships—not that I had that many of either. My brother died after my parents and right before I entered the academy. Then I buried my sorrow in work, too busy for friends or a social life.

Jackson tugged on her braid. “I understand that aspect more than you think. I’m still an oddity among Lycans and the vampires because of my parentage...and because of my relationship with you.”

“I’m sorry you feel ostracized because of me.”

“No. It’s not you. It’s mainly because I’m in neither camp, and our—”

“Our relationship then. How we’re connected.”

He didn’t try to argue. Because of her gift, Caitlin learned to accept the unusual and paranormal disparities more readily than most. She’d spent her life understanding what being different meant, and yet she felt sorry for Jackson who someday would rule both the fae and Lore worlds because of his differences. She had to make him understand who she really was before she asked him to help her.

“After so many years of physical and emotional starvation, I guess I craved what Dylan brought to the table like a child born in hunger craves nourishment. When we realized what we were to each other, we were happy despite my mortality, despite what he was. We had no plans—hadn’t thought that far ahead. We didn’t want to think.”

“I understand. You were happy, things were right...before me.”

“No. Not before you. Before that. When we were forced into a decision—before Dylan was, anyway. The decision to turn me.”

“Knowing what we know. It’s a good thing he did. But he never expected your relationship to be broadsided by anyone, let alone me.” Jackson sounded skeptical. “A third wheel upsetting your idyllic world.”

“You had no say—no choice in the matter. None of us did. We can’t help what we are to each other.”

Jackson sat forward. Elbows on knees, he lowered his head to his hands. He sounded broken when he finally spoke. “You never saw me coming…or the consequences.”

“No, but now I’m not sorry. If it could have been different, an easier transition, I would have chosen it. But not by missing this.” She touched his cheek. “Not by missing you.” She couldn’t deny the growing affection she felt for Jackson. She doubted he wanted to feel these feeling for her, either.

“I remember how happy he was when he found you—how excited about us finally meeting.” Jackson released a low moan. “I don’t know how Dylan survived the moment he realized you’d have to choose between the man you loved and the one he’d raised.”

Caitlin could weep, but decided honesty would do more good.

“I do. His mind was open to me. He didn’t shut down until right after that.” Caitlin looked aside. She’d experienced the way Dylan’s emotions blasted her like a bomb exploding next to her right before he shut her out. Now she was experiencing Jackson’s and understood the extent of his feelings for Dylan.

She went to him, put an arm around him, and sat beside him gripping his one hand in hers. “Each one of us experienced that moment differently, but just as intensely. Dylan’s thoughts were for your safety and mine.”

“I never doubted that.” He pulled her into a tight embrace, wrapping himself around her. Jackson’s entire body vibrated with need as he held her. The wolf, the man, the vampire all wanted her, and she was afraid every fiber of her being wanted him in return.

His breath warmed her ear. “I expected us to be a nice happy family, finally a real family.” He let out a sardonic chuckle. “I guess as normal as our strange cast of characters can be, all living together out here. But, you know what it’ll come to if he can’t find a solution.”

“I don’t want to believe it.”

~~~~

She swept her hand through his hair, smoothing the long strands away from his face. And he turned to kiss her hand.

“You should know we argued before he left.” She paused, and he urged her on. “I couldn’t stand the thought of losing him, being without him…and when he told me about leaving me with—”

“Me,” Jackson said softly, finishing her thought. “Right? Me, the ultimate protector. The inevitable lover. Dylan knew what would happen. I wouldn’t be able to keep my wolf at bay forever.”

“And I was a sex fae—a dark sex with no inhibitions and even less restrain. I wasn’t willing to forgive him for doing that.”

“Will you?”

“Perhaps. I didn’t know you. I resented being tossed aside to another male like I had no choice—”

“And you still don’t.” A low rumble built inside Jackson’s chest. “I’m sorry. It must be difficult for an independent woman like you to come to terms with ancient laws and prophecies.”

“I do have some choices, especially since I’ve come to know you and care for you. We’ll find a way through this, and when Dylan returns, we’ll see if I can forgive him.”

“You’d forgive him anything.” Jackson tweaked her nose. “As his mate, you would have to.”

Caitlin shrugged. “I guess you’re right, but I’d forgive him more because I love him than for any of those other reasons.”

“Just remember, the council won’t forgive him if they ever find out he turned you without your knowledge. And that he involved Shelby. They’ll believe it’s what set off the chain reaction of events.”

“You knew?”

“Of course, I knew. Dylan told me everything. We’re close.” Jackson’s voice cracked, “...were close.”

“What will happen if they find out?”

“Depends on the outcome. The council is already suspicious about all this. They could bring him up on charges.”

“He risked losing his position, maybe his life for me?”

“Dammit, you still don’t understand. He had no choice—you were his life mate. And we didn’t know about the demons then. He broke all the rules to keep you with him...then you imprinted on me.”

“The decision would have been the same if I’d made it myself, even if I knew the consequences in advance.” Tears choked Caitlin’s words. “He knew I wanted him, Jackson. I loved him and would never leave him to an eternity alone.”

Not like the one he’s facing now.

“I’m glad to hear that from you. He told me you didn’t blame him, but it’s better knowing you would have made the same choices—including all this—yourself.”

“Jackson, he had no real regrets until he started second guessing this—this thing between us.”

“The decision to change you had to be the hardest choice he ever made until he left you to me, knowing... All I can think is he’s making this sacrifice for both of us, for all of us, and I don’t know how to help.”

“We can help him by getting more answers.”

~~~~

Before they all could be together, Caitlin had to make Jackson understand why she would consider being with him. Sure her sex fae was attracted to him, and lately, even that didn’t feel wrong, and she could justify being with him for so many reasons. Survival, all their survival, being the biggest reason.

“This ghost pain, this emptiness, this longing… Will it last forever?” She dropped to her knees in front of him, lowered her head, and wrapped her arms around his legs.