Valley Of Glamorgan (35 page)

“You have a lot of beautiful things here,”
he went on speaking, and I could sense his eyes were on me.
Suddenly I wanted so badly to know what they looked like.

Taking a big risk I blurted out, “Can I feel
your face?” regretting it the moment I had said it. “I have heard
from somewhere that it can help blind people learn what people look
like.”

Obviously surprised by my request Lorcan
reluctantly responded, “I don’t know why you want to know what I
look like, but yes you can touch my face.”

Feeling the water moving around me as he
waded through it, I found he was suddenly standing inches in front
of me. Instantly my heart began to beat faster and I put my hands
through the water, making sure they weren’t sweaty. I had never
actually tried this with anyone before yet here I was, doing it
now.

Lifting my shaky hands I felt his warm hands
grasp mine, “Here,” he said, placing my hands palms up against his
face.

As I gently moved my hands I felt his long
chin. It was smooth as he had no facial hair which, for some reason
was strange as I had thought he would have some. My breath caught
in my throat as my hands reached his lips. Slowly I ran my index
finger across them. They were bigger than mine, and felt rough in
some spots. I could feel his breathing growing ragged but I
continued. Next I felt the smoothness of his nose; reaching the
middle of it I ran my thumb over the small bump that rested there,
and I wondered if he had broken his nose sometime but I didn’t ask.
When I reached his eyes his lids closed and told me it was okay to
run my hand gently over them. I still wanted to know the color of
them so badly but again I was too shy to ask. Finally, I ran my
hands over his forehead and up into his hair, not really knowing
what I was doing. It was medium length and very soft to the touch
although it had patches of dry spots were it was beginning to dry
out in the sun. I pictured him with dark hair, hopefully one day
that I would see for myself.

“Thank you,” I said breathlessly before
pushing with my feet and floating away to the bank. As I floated I
realized I had no idea what had just happened. That had felt so
much more intimate then I thought it would; the feel of his hands
on mine and the soft ruggedness of his features. I couldn’t stop
thinking about them so tried to keep my distance for the rest of
the day. At one point I wondered if he had felt the same as me, as
he too was quiet for the remainder of our time together. Having
spent most of the day floating around the creek it was only as the
sun was starting to set that we made our way back to the
castle.

“Thank you for today, it was relaxing,” he
told me. I was happy he thought so because I felt anything but
relaxed.

As we made our way into the castle we were
welcomed by the wonderful aroma of Eleanor’s cooking. There’s going
to be was a full house tonight I thought as I heard Maggie and
Knoll in the kitchen laughing and could picture him and Lorcan
sitting in the living room later with my father, drinking a glass
of good ‘ole Irish whisky.

As I made my way across the hallway I tried
to be as quiet as possible but it was a failed attempt. “Mina, is
that you,” Eleanor called out, “Can you come into the kitchen
please.”

Damn I thought. I had been hoping to get to
my room without being spotted. Slowly I walked across the marble
floor, trying not to slip.

“Whoa!” said Maggie, “We wondered where
you’d been all day.”

“That swim suit is too small,” I heard Liam
calling from the living room which made me smile, feeling like a
normal teenager today.

Maggie laughed, “Yeah that is way too
freaking small! You and dad would have killed me for wearing
something like that!”

“Don’t be silly,” Eleanor laughed with her,
“You just never expressed any interest in swimming.”

“Mmmhmm,” Maggie said as she walked out of
the room to join Knoll.

After she had left Eleanor spoke, “I wanted
to have a moment to talk with you Carmina.” Strangely my mother
sounded nervous as she called me by my full name.

Shaking I asked, “Can I get dressed first,”
I was feeling cold in my dripping wet bathing suit with the cold
air from the vents blasting round the kitchen and making me
shiver.

“It will only take a moment,” she assured
me. “I heard what happened with you and Declan and I want to say
how sorry I am that he has hurt you,” then she hesitated before
saying, “I just want you to know that I am here if you want to talk
about it. Also, I know what you have heard about what you may
become at your animal ritual, but I don’t want you to worry about
that. You will become who you were always meant to be and that will
always be more than enough for us.”

It was a sweet notion and up until this
moment I hadn’t been worried about it all. What she didn’t know was
that I had talked it all out with Willow and she had helped me, but
suddenly I felt bad for not having confided in my mother about
it.

“Thank you,” I said simply, doing my best to
reassure her that all was well before quickly making my way to my
room and closing the door. At last. ‘My safe place,’ I thought as I
went to have a shower and pick something out of the closet to
wear.

Just about to go into the bathroom I heard a
knock on my door, feeling annoyed as the water was running and all
I wanted was to get under the hot steam. Going to the door I
answered it and discovered Lorcan waiting nervously outside.

“Mina,” he asked, “Can I come in please?”
For some reason it felt different having him in my room. He went on
to say, “I just wanted to clear the air; I shouldn’t have let you
get so close to me today. I know that you are going through a lot
right now and I would not want you to think that I was taking
advantage of the fact that you are vulnerable. Please forgive me
for my behavior.”

What could I say; I hadn’t thought for an
instance that he was taking advantage of me. All I had done was
touch his face. Okay, maybe my hands had lingered a little longer
than they should have and yes, maybe when I had grazed his sun
chapped lips I had wanted to kiss them, but now standing here I
knew it was all so stupid. I had been trying to lose myself today
and apparently he was what I wanted to lose myself in.

Finally I told him, “It’s alright Lorcan;
there’s no need to apologize.” Continuing I said, “All I did was
touch your face,” and I tried to put it off as if it was nothing;
but we both knew better. “Besides, it’s not as if we kissed or
anything,” and I smiled, trying to reassure him.

Sighing Lorcan hesitated before saying,
“But, that is the thing Mina. I wanted to kiss you today so badly
that my lips ached from your touch.”

My heart began to beat quickly again and
suddenly I found myself saying the exact opposite of what I should
have said, “Then why don’t you?”

He was standing inches from my face, his
warm breath and mine meeting together, as he suddenly placed a long
soft kiss on my cheek.

Pulling back he whispered, “I don’t know
what is happening Mina, but I am your guardian. I told you we
couldn’t be friends,” and he walked away without saying another
word other than leaving my lips aching for the touch of his. What
the hell had I gotten myself mixed up in; it was a whole different
kind of mess than any other I had experienced.

Suddenly I realized that I only had a few
seconds in which to shower before Maggie came to tell me dinner was
ready. Jumping under the hot water I quickly washed my hair, and
then taking my bath sponge I washed the creek water off my skin.
What the hell was happening to me? I had no clue what to do about
Declan; I still loved him, yet now there was someone else occupying
my mind, someone I hadn’t even seen before. How would I know if I
was attracted to him? ‘This all was getting out of hand,’ I
thought, ‘and it would only be a matter of time before it all blew
up in my face.’ I felt as if I had wronged Declan; I was supposed
to be thinking about our relationship or if we even had one, not if
it was a good idea to start a new one! My life just continued to
get more and more complicated.

Having showered, I quickly got dressed
before making my way downstairs, just happy to be surrounded by my
family. They had prepared the same dish as the night I arrived soup
and soda bread. Sitting at the table I was thankful I was no longer
as clumsy with my hardware as I had been the first time I had tried
to eat after losing my sight.

Maggie was the first to talk. “Lorcan,” she
began asking, trying to draw him into a conversation. “Did you and
Mina have a good day at the creek? It is stunning at this time of
year isn’t it?” Although I knew she was trying to be nice I felt
she was making it worse.

“I did have a lovely time,” he assured her,
yet I could tell he regretted letting me get so close to him. I
just didn’t know if I regretted it as well.

“It will be both a beautiful and sad thing
for me to witness your animal ceremony tomorrow Carmina. My little
girl will be all grown up and it saddens me that I have missed so
much of it,” declared my father. Liam might be the King of
Glamorgan who ruled with an iron fist when he needed to but when it
came to me or our family he was a big softy at heart and I realized
that he loved me more than I would probably ever know. The thought
was enough to make me tear-up. Listening to the family chattering I
was happy that they didn’t care if I turned out to be the one the
prophesy spoke of as they would love me for me, which was nothing
better than I could ask for as a gift. My only wish was that I
could have spent my last thirteen years here with my real family.
The night went by so fast; after dinner was over we decided to sit
and watch a movie; well everyone else watched and I listened.

As the evening drew to a close Eleanor
decided it was time to pick out my dress for the following day.
Leading the way, Maggie and Eleanor followed me up the stairs to
rummage through my closet whilst I sat on the edge of the bed; my
favorite place and one I found myself sitting more often than not
when I was in my room.

“There just isn’t anything suitable in here
that will do,” Eleanor called out, clearly sounding annoyed. “I
might have something in my closet,” she said and she hastily left
to make her way down the stairs and into her gigantic bedroom.

Thinking about her room I had thought mine
was huge but it could fit inside hers at least three times over.
There was a king size poster bed with large ivory posts on either
side. A large vanity mirror and closet on my mother’s side of the
room and the same on father’s side. Her closet was practically the
size of the living room! I was happy to have had the chance to see
it before I lost my sight. I could see her now in my mind rummaging
through the hundreds of dresses she had, saying this won’t do, nor
that one; she was picky to say the least.

Whilst we waited for her to return Maggie
joined me on the bed. “I heard about Declan calling this morning,”
she said

“Has everyone heard?” I asked her. ‘Who were
they getting all their information from,’ is what I wanted to
know.

Maggie went on, “I know it must be hard to
have your first heart break the night before your animal ceremony.
It’s really tough enough as it is. I remember mine.” And she began
telling me her story, “I was thirteen when we had some new
guardians transfer in for the summer. There was this guy who was
two years older than me, his name was Dillion; he was from Russia.”
Pausing the smiled as she remembered before continuing, “He had
long, dark eye lashes, dark eyes and a smile that could kill. We
spent every night together laughing; he was my first kiss. Of
course, we were too young to go further than that, but I loved him,
or so I thought I did. He was applying to transfer here full time
but his parents came and took him home. As they left he sat in the
back of their car and our eyes never left each other’s until they
were too far away for us to see each other anymore.” Taking a deep
breath she sighed as she remembered, “I wouldn’t leave my room or
eat for days. It felt as if someone had reached into my chest and
pulled my heart out. It was the worse feeling in the world, so I
know what you are going through,” and she patted my leg. “Mina it
will get better. I never knew I would love someone again until
Knoll came along. He makes my skin hot just by looking at me. When
you feel such desire for someone it’s worth giving it a shot like
you did with Declan.” Pausing again I sensed she was looking at me.
Taking my hand in hers she continued, “But, that is all he deserves
one shot. Mina, I’m not trying to tell you what to do but remember
you do deserve better than that.”

Smiling I pulled my loving sister into a
hug; she really was an amazing person and I was blessed to have her
here with me now. I knew we only had a few minutes before Eleanor
returned so I told Maggie about what happened at the creek. She sat
listening to me and I pictured the look of concern on her face.
Although when I told her that I had wanted to kiss him she laughed.
“I knew there was something between you two by the way he looks at
you,” she said. Sadly, I was remembering she wasn’t the first
person to say that to me as I recalled Declan saying the same
thing, making me feel even worse for feeling the way I do about
Lorcan. Suddenly I wanted to see the way he looked at me so
badly.

Maggie sighed. “I am not going to tell you
what you feel is wrong Mina,” she said, “and I can tell that is
what you are expecting of me. I know that everything seems so
complicated right now, and that you feel bad for thinking about
someone else when you and Declan just broke up but, like I tried to
tell you in the kitchen the other day, you are not promised to
anyone. You are still so young and don’t feel as if you have to be
with someone just because that is what everyone tells you. I know
you care for Declan and he cares for you but you both seem to be
going in opposite directions and maybe you are too afraid to let go
because of your supposed “Destiny” together. Remember, you make
your own destiny Mina, and don’t forget that.”