Vamped Up (20 page)

“We belong together.” He stroked her hair with loving caresses. She was so soft. So fragile. “I love you. And you love me.”

“That’s where you’re wrong.” She exhaled heavily, her warm breath coating his face. “It’s faded for me, Ruan.”

Drums pounded against his skull until his own heartbeat was low and muddled and distant.
No, she didn’t mean it.
The room spun circles around them, lifting Ruan’s feet off the floor.
Eve couldn’t have meant what she said.
His chest constricted like a boa strangled the breath out of him.
How could she no longer love him?
His pulse raced as panic set in. “Do you remember when you told me that if you died tomorrow, it’d be because you loved me too deeply?”

She slipped out of his embrace and walked to the door.

He followed, full-body chills wreaking havoc across his skin. “What happened to your heart being unable to bear the love we shared?”

“Let’s not beat this into the ground, Ruan. It’s over. Let’s leave it at that.”

“No. I don’t believe you.” He could taste the sweetness of her mouth. Feel the gentleness of her touch on his hand. This couldn’t be the end. She had to feel the spark between them just as he did. No matter how his head screamed to wrap her in his arms and cement her there and breathe her in, his feet stuck to the floor and his legs limbered to putty.

He steadied himself on the backbone of the couch, his vision swimming in and out. “Damn it, Eve.” His heart hollowed.
Damn it, she was right.
She was right about everything from him pushing her away to deserving something normal.
Damn it all to hell.

She hesitated, hand to doorknob. For a second Ruan thought she might’ve turned around and run back into his arms, told him that this was all a ploy to get Lilith out of their lives. Maybe she’d wink or give him a sign that this was a ruse and she’d come back when things had blown over.

“I need to hear you say it,” he said, disbelief morphing to desperation. “If I hear you say the words, I might be able to believe them. Tell me you don’t love me.”

“Ruan . . .”

“Say it!” He stormed her and wrenched her around to face him. He took a sledgehammer to the gut as he realized her eyes were dry. No tears. No regrets.

“Why do I have to spell it out for you?” she said, cheeks flushed.

“Something inside me thinks that you still might—”

She pushed out a breath. “I don’t love you, Ruan.”

Pickax to the heart. Needles to the brain.
He roped his arms around her waist and tugged her into an embrace. She couldn’t leave. Not yet. He pulled her close, until his body was on fire. Until his senses were assailed with her natural scent. Until his ears hummed from the blood rushing beneath her skin. She pulled back, then hesitated, radiating indecisiveness as she buried her face into his chest.

She stilled. “I can’t live a full life with you, Ruan. It’s not in the stars for us.”

He embraced her tighter, throat burning from the threat of tears, and thought about tossing her over his shoulder and charging down those goddamn death shades, throwing her into the Tahoe and locking her away until she came to her senses. But as she reached up on tiptoe, her quivering body flush against him, she whispered into his ear, “
Please
. . . let me let you go.”

He loosened his grip behind her back. Let his hands fall to his sides. Stopped moving completely. It took all his control to look Eve in the eyes instead of at the vein pulsing true and fast on her neck. The adrenaline pumping through her body would sweeten her blood. She’d be tantalizingly tender and—

Any breath left in Ruan’s lungs punched out his mouth as he realized what he’d do, given another day—hell, another second—with her. He no longer wondered what he was capable of. One taste of her deliciously sweet blood and he’d lose control for good. He knew it as sure as he loved her.

“Then go,” he whispered, and closed his eyes so he couldn’t watch her walk away.

After the click of the apartment door, Ruan fell to his knees, his arms reaching out for her. He screamed, though he wasn’t sure if the words made any sense. He didn’t care. Air twisted and tumbled in shapes and colors around him. Like he was looking through a broken kaleidoscope. Pressure in the room skyrocketed. Breathing became voluntary and Ruan wasn’t sure he wanted the tainted air anyhow. It was the same air she’d breathed in . . . the air Eve took into her body and exhaled . . . the same air she used to tell him she didn’t love him anymore. How could she leave with Lilith? How could he live without her?

He wanted to run after her with every sinew in his body, but deep down he knew she was right. She deserved love and marriage and children, not one of the three. She deserved a man who could give her the normal life she craved or at least one who could handle drinking from her when she asked instead of having the urge to drink until he killed her.

Let me let you go.

Her words echoed in his head over and over again, shattering his heart into a million jagged pieces.

The only thing he ever wanted was to keep her safe, and now he was the selfish bastard who caused her the most harm of all; he’d broken her heart and crushed her dreams of having anything normal. She deserved so much more than him.

Struggling to breathe, heartbeat erratic, Ruan scrubbed his face, sat back on his haunches, and stared up at the ceiling, wondering how long his broken heart would beat without Eve before it turned as black as his soul.

Chapter Twenty-Four

“There is a way that appears to be right, but in the end it leads to death.”

NIV Bible: Proverbs 14:12

E
VE SLID AGAINST
the elevator wall, letting her weight drag her to the ground. Her feet stuck out in front of her and looked odd, disjointed. Like they weren’t her own.

She couldn’t believe the words that had spilled out of her mouth. She’d wanted Ruan to get the picture that she needed to be alone right now—elders would kill him if he touched her—but all that talk about marriage and family just flew out. Like she’d wanted those things all along and didn’t know it until she was faced with the sacrifices that living life with Ruan entailed. Telling her soul mate that she didn’t love him wasn’t something she’d penciled in on her to-do list when she woke up this morning. But she also hadn’t planned on Lilith, either. Or this odd energy pulling from her center and tugging against the amulet at her neck, or the elders lining up outside her apartment.

She rubbed her eyes, trying to erase the crushed look on Ruan’s face from her mind. His eyes had turned somber so quickly. His frown so tight. She wiped the taste of him off her lips and wondered how long it’d take to scrub the memory of him from her heart.

Once this was all over, maybe they could be together again. After the dust settled. When she figured out what was going on with the amulet. After Lilith and the other elders passed to the Ever After, she and Ruan might be able to have a normal life. Maybe they could arrange some kind of system where Ruan fed from someone else right before they were intimate.

As the elevator doors opened, Eve was still trying to work out the sketchy details. Lilith stood by the front door, staring at her with a satisfied look slapped on her face. Eve scraped herself off the floor and readjusted the bottom hem of her sweater. “Where were you?” she asked, brushing her arms where Ruan had grabbed her. Her forearm was still tingling from his touch. Her heart just as warm from his desire for her to stay. “You said you’d wait outside the apartment.”

Lilith’s gaze softened, measuring her up and down like a delicate doll she’d picked up at a trinket shop. “There was something pulling me to the street and it wasn’t the ghosts of these elders. There’s something out there and I can’t quite put my finger on what that
thing
is . . . besides, Ruan wasn’t going to hurt you under the circumstances. He ends up hurting you in the eventual end, that’s true, but his intentions always come from a loving place. It’d take a lot more heat to rile him to the point he’d hurt you again.”

“Tell me breaking up with him was the right thing to do.”

“It may not have felt right, but think of it this way . . .” Lilith sighed. “You just saved his life.”

Eve’s stomach flipped. She pressed a hand to her middle and pinched her eyes shut. “I don’t feel so good. I think . . . I think I need to go back up there and explain to him. Maybe there’s another way. What if I tell him we need to be apart just for awhile for his own good. Maybe he’d understand it better that way.”

Lilith snaked an arm around Eve’s waist, embracing her in a swirl of cinnamon and honey. “Don’t you think I thought through all our options before asking you to end it? You have to trust me. This is the only way it can end. When this is all over and he realizes the stakes that were against him, he’ll forgive you. He’ll understand.”

Eve knew better. She’d broken him. She could see it in the hard lines of his face, the frown etched onto his lips, and the glossy rim of tears beneath his eyes. “He won’t.”

“Sweetie,” Lilith swooned. “You can’t be together in this life; it’s too risky and
they
won’t allow it.” She pointed a manicured finger to the ghostly remnants of elders standing in the street. “Maybe next time you and Ruan can find a way to make it work.”

“Next time,” Eve huffed, strangling the hot tears burning her throat. “You mean we can be together in the next life. The one that I won’t remember.”

Lilith cocked her head to the side, contemplating Eve’s words. “Honey, who knows? Perhaps your souls will find a way to reunite on this earth, rekindle what was started, and pieces of
you
pushed deep down inside could surface. Ruan will remember
you
and that alone should make you feel more at ease . . . if you love him the way you claim to.”

“Of course I love him. That’s why this hurts so much.”

“In another time,” Lilith continued, her voice sweeter than pie, “when elders are resting at peace in the Ever After, you might find Ruan again and maybe then you can be free to love. But not now. Not this go-round. Not this life.” Her eyes exploded with fear. “Get down!”

She shielded her body over Eve’s as a fireball lit up the entire lower level of the apartment complex. The building rumbled, shook on its foundation. Dust, dirt, and chunks of concrete fell to the ground around them. Eve cowered beneath Lilith’s weight. From beneath Lilith’s protective cover, she peered through a cloud of dust, coughing particles of the building out of her lungs. The entire front door of her apartment complex had blown off its hinges. The wall behind them had hollowed out like a cannon ball went through it.

Footsteps became clear through the whizzing sound in her ears. A dark silhouette took form—a man waltzing through the opening in the building with an air of dominance and pure evil.

Lilith clambered to her feet, pushing Eve protectively to the ground behind her. “There are too many of us, Kane,” she said, her words coated in rich sugar. “You can’t possibly think that we’re going to stand by and let you take Eve from us.”

“And you, my dear meddling Lilith, can’t possibly think that I’d fall for your wanton maware after all these years. You may have seduced me with it once, you devilish woman, but never again. This is
not
the twentieth century. And I am
not
the weak shell of a man I was back then.”

“Yes, Kane, that was a long time ago,” Lilith said, backing away, shooing Eve beneath her feet. “But not long enough for you forget our plans for the vampire race. You remember, don’t you? The limitless power we could’ve achieved. The love we could’ve shared.” Silence. More wafts of cinnamon. “Of course you remember.”

“I remember what you left me with.” His gaze, as black as an abyss, swallowed Eve whole. He trailed a finger down the groove on his cheek. “And I have a feeling there’s a lot more I would remember, had you not fucked with my head.” Another bolt of heat blasted through the room, right into Lilith’s side. Screaming in agony, she flew backwards through the air, and slammed against the back wall with a sickening thwack. She landed in a heap on the ground, arms and legs contorted, her hair fanning over her face in a curtain of red satin.

Eve scrambled backwards across the floor, away from the man who stalked her every move. He radiated heat. Exuded corrupt power.

“What do you want?” Eve squeaked.
Please, God, let Ruan be on his way.

She eyed Lilith, who was still and lifeless against the wall. Scooting further away, Eve reflexively clutched the amulet at her throat.

“You, Eve. All I ever needed was you. And your precious Ruan led me right to you.” The monster knelt over her, his dark musk overpowering. In the flickering lights of the foyer, the side of his face came into view. The deep groove slashed across his cheek matched the lonely pits of his blacked-out eyes. “He was so damn concerned about the ghosts standing in the street, he brought me right to your fucking door.” He smirked, the corner of his lip twitching. “I know how close you are to harnessing the mawares in that amulet around your neck. Turns out you were what I needed all along . . . you and the elders that’ll glue themselves to your side. And to think, I was just going to move on, forgetting all about you.”

Eve shook her head, shying away from the evil radiating off his body in thick, heady waves.

“No denying it now. I heard Lilith explain it to you upstairs before your boyfriend crashed your party. You’re the one who’ll unleash the death shades.”

“I’m not,” she whispered, voice cracking under the weight of his stare. “I can’t do it . . . I’m not ready.”

“Oh, you’re ready all right. And if you’re not, you better figure it out fast.” He snapped his crooked fingers inches in front of her eyes. “Now summon as many elders as you can to Fort Point or I’ll head upstairs and shoot the next fireball through Loverboy’s heart.”

Chapter Twenty-Five

“Dark shadows of evil shall erupt in Crimson Bay. Fire will consume both good and evil. Blood will be shed. Lives will be lost. Nightmares will become reality.”

Grimorium Verum
(prophesy written in elder blood), taken from top of first page recovered

T
HE ENTIRE APARTMENT
complex shook. At first Ruan thought the rumble was his heart breaking in two. He felt the hurt down to his bones, so it only made sense that his body would manifest the pain outwardly. Hell, his dreams seemed to mirror reality well enough.

But the shaking wouldn’t stop, and it didn’t feel like the typical rolling or jerking of a San Francisco earthquake. Smoke alarms blared. Tenants yelled from the hall. Ruan jumped to his feet, raced down the narrow corridor, and descended the stairs until he was face to face with the carnage that was the downstairs foyer.

He couldn’t see Eve anywhere. Couldn’t sense her either. Flaming red hair caught his eye.
Lilith
. She was flattened against the back of the foyer, her head lolled onto her shoulder, her middle torn open like she’d had a run-in with a supernatural can opener. Ruan dropped to her side and checked for vitals as tenants frantically fled the smoking building.

“Lilith, where’s Eve?”

Her pulse fluttered. She moaned, arching awkwardly to her side. Ruan’s attention shifted from the foyer, searching for Eve, to the mangled meat on Lilith’s side. Blood spilled onto the tile, soiling her dress, her hands.

“What can I do?”

Giving a pained sigh, Lilith arched up again. “I’ll be fine . . . just knocked me out for a bit . . . he . . . he didn’t want to kill me.”

From the look of the intestines curling out of her middle, Ruan begged to differ. But he bit his tongue. “Lilith, where is she? Tell me where Eve is.”

“Took her,” she breathed, rubbing her side. “Kane . . . I mean, Savage . . . he took her. He doesn’t know. He couldn’t . . .”

“
I’ll rip his fucking head off
.” Growling through clenched teeth, Ruan stood and watched the last tenant run into the street. He needed to call ReVamp, give Slade a heads-up that hell was about to break open. He’d want a piece of this battle for sure. Then he’d need to hunt down Savage. He might need Dante’s help too. Although he had no fucking clue where that sucker was, he’d show his face by tomorrow night per their arrangement back at the black market. But would Eve be alive that long?

He squelched down the doubt.

Sirens sounded in the distance. Five to ten minutes and there’d be cops and fire trucks swarming the place. By the time Ruan decided on a course of action and turned back to Lilith, her side had turned from red and raw to muted pink. Her skin showed no cut at all, just a mark that looked like a slash and dash she could’ve gotten at any of the rough bars in Crimson Bay.

“Ruan,” Lilith said, her voice gaining strength. “The elders’ shades . . . are they still here?”

In all his haste, he’d forgotten all about them. He strode to the gaping hole in the side of the building and peered out. Nosey neighbors gathered in the street. Tenants huddled with dogs and cats on the sidewalk. There wasn’t an elder’s shade in sight.

“They’re gone.”

“No.”

Ruan knelt at her side and took her hand, helping her to her feet. Her corset had torn in two, showing her bare midriff, but the skin suddenly looked as soft and smooth as a newborn’s. No sign of the bloodied mess that had been there minutes ago.

“We gotta get out of here,” Ruan said, when sirens closed in. “Tell me you know where Savage took her.”

Lilith sighed, fluffing life back into her hair like she’d just woken from a tumultuous night’s sleep. “I don’t, Ruan, but you do . . . or you
will
.”

He spun around, willing to do anything and everything to bring Eve back to safety. “Talk fast.”

“You know things, Ruan.” Her passion-fueled eyes shifted to the empty street. “And I’m afraid under the circumstances, we stand to lose more leaving you like this.”

“What are you talking about? Like what?”

“I have to take it back, Ruan. I’m sorry. I have to take it all back. I have to make you remember and we don’t have time to do it the right way. This might hurt a bit.”

She closed her eyes. Sweet fragrances of cinnamon and honey blew through the air and slammed into his nose, so strong Ruan’s head swam with warm thoughts of winter and Christmas and old-fashioned home cooking that he hadn’t had since he was a boy.

“What are you—”

Lilith thrust a hand to his chest, shoving him back with all her might. Ruan staggered backward from the force of it. He couldn’t open his eyes if he tried. His jaw locked. Heat radiated from her hand, into his chest, and rammed through his body at excruciating speeds. His heart imploded. Burst from the force of it. Lilith followed him back, pushing against him open-palmed, until she held him flush against the back of the elevator from which he’d come.

White light swallowed Ruan whole. Pinpricks spread over his body, burrowed into his skin, scattering cells in all directions. An all-consuming wormhole opened up, sucking him into another time, then spit him out. Eyes closed, delirium setting in, heat scorching his chest, Ruan’s head swam in a warm rush of thoughts, starting with Eve and the last time they made love—her body bending in front of him in ReVamp’s office, her core clenching, the fluttering pulse on her neck mesmerizing.

Blinding white light engulfed him again, erasing his thoughts of Eve and their sex-capade. He spun around in the dark, losing bearing, until he didn’t know up from down or past from present.

The ache in Ruan’s chest increased from a dull burn to a raging inferno in a matter of seconds. He clutched his shirt, his chest, bowling over in pain. His eyelids flew open, his gaze piercing the darkness, looking for something—anything—to help him gain bearing.

Shapes slowly came into focus. Tall, ominous stone towers. The severe arch of a red bridge. A swelling sea breaking against a jagged rock wall. He staggered back. Guilt flooded him as if he knew what was going to happen but was powerless to stop it. Memories pooled in the recesses of his mind. Oh yes, he’d dreamt this before. Almost every night since Eve had warmed his bed nearly two months ago. Except now the details were crystal clear.

It was 1912. The spicy stench of sulfur and gunpowder wafted through the air. An orange harvest moon peaked high in the sky, casting rays of gold on the horrors reaping in Fort Point’s courtyard below. The Crimson Bay Massacre had blown wide open, with the vampire race refusing to feed. Ruan’s Primus, Lilith, had instructed him to keep watch at the easternmost light tower for therian movement.

He’d been approached by her top guard, a tough sucker with a gnarly slash tearing across his cheek who went by the name of Kane. Kane had ordered Ruan to guard a chamber door in the underground structure of the fort. Told him his order superseded any other, that this was a military mission and he was their khiss’s highest-ranking military official.

Ruan did as he was told. He stood guard for what felt like hours. Until his knees jellied and his eyesight blurred from lack of blood. He wasn’t supposed to be at this post . . . wasn’t supposed to look at what was hidden behind the chamber door. He was a guard following a very specific order. But he’d heard something.

A woman’s voice. Was that . . . chanting?

Opening the heavy iron door a sliver, Ruan peered into the room and gasped. Sitting cross-legged upon a whitewashed stone tablet in the smack-center of the room was the most beautiful creature he’d ever seen. Long, flowing blonde hair cascaded down the front of her chest like a waterfall. Porcelain white skin. A teasingly thin chemise gown that left little to the imagination. A leather-bound book sat in her lap. Hovering over it was a ball of shimmering white light that expanded and contracted—breathed raw energy.

When her sky blue eyes met his, the orb of energy hissed, then extinguished with a blast of frigid air.

She slammed the book closed and jumped off the tablet. “You’re not supposed to be here.”

Ruan nodded, unable to stop his fangs from tingling behind his gums. They picked up the tantalizing fragrance of her blood. She’d taste good. Sugary sweet. Familiar. His throat parched as his feet closed the distance between them of their own volition.

“Do you mind?” She tucked the book under her arm and pursed her lips. “Lilith will kill me if I don’t figure this out.” A grenade exploded somewhere in the fort, rumbling the walls and floor. “And I don’t have much time.”

“For what?” He wasn’t informed what was happening behind the chamber door. But he certainly didn’t expect to find a mundane wielding some sort of magic. He stepped deeper into the chamber, itching to know why Lilith had put this breathtakingly beautiful woman under lock and key.

“I don’t think it’s any of your business.” Her gaze skipped down the black lines of his standard haven uniform, stopping at the gun and knife on his waistband. She took in everything about him, from his steel-toed boots to his black military pants to his long waves of blonde hair. “Shouldn’t you be at your post?”

Her analytical stare stirred something in Ruan’s chest. He wanted more of this warmth flowing through his veins, more of this skipping heartbeat in his chest. He stepped closer still, listening to the sudden rush of blood beneath her perfectly milky skin. It was the most beautiful melody he’d ever heard.

She mirrored his progress, stepping back, protectively clutching the amulet settled into the heart of her neck.

Ruan had seen it before, hadn’t he? That oval cut of onyx. The strong silver chain . .
 .

He brushed off the feeling as absurd. He’d never seen this woman before . . . he’d have remembered such timeless beauty. And he certainly had never seen the amulet she wore.

She backed away further, her cheeks draining of color.

“I’m not going to hurt you.” He resisted the insane urge to comfort her by sweeping a straggling strand of hair over her crown of honey blonde. Something inside him twinged. Like he’d comforted her by stroking her hair a time or two before. But that wasn’t possible. How could he possibly know how to soothe away the worry lines in her angelic face?

She folded her arms, clutching the frayed-edged book in her grasp like he was here to steal it from her. “I’m not stupid. They said someone would come.” She circled the tablet, putting it between them as a barrier. “You have to leave.”

Like a chunk of stone could keep him from her. Not even time could keep him away.

Ruan winced at his own thoughts. Tunneled his fingers through his hair. Not even time could keep him away? Man, he really needed to get a rein on the thoughts running rampant through his mind. He wasn’t making sense.

“Who told you someone would come?”

“Lilith and Kane. They said a man would try . . .” She paused and sighed. “I don’t know why I’m telling you this. Get back to your post so I can get back to business.” She raised her chin—a gesture too dominant for the softness of her expression.

But he didn’t want to go back to his post. He didn’t want her to stop eyeing him curiously or talking to him in that satin-soft voice of hers. It was a lover’s caress on his ears. He wanted to bask in the soft lilt of her sigh. He needed more. He opened his mouth to say as much, then clamped it shut. He’d known her, what, two minutes? And he was about to jump out of his skin? This was ridiculous.

So was the notion that she could order him around, he realized. He may be required to take orders from Lilith, his Primus, but she was a mundane. A mundane with a secret . .
 .

“I’ll leave when you tell me what you were doing in here when I came in.”

“Don’t you mean when you barged in without invite?”

“Are you always so cryptic?”

“Are you always so nosy?”

An odd sensation crept up Ruan’s spine. It was the tingling, hair-on-end shiver of déjà vu. There was something so familiar about this woman . . . about this feeling rumbling inside him. He’d met her before, had this same kind of snappy banter with her, but where? When? His heart tugged against his rib cage. He drank in the soft, delicate features of her face. High cheekbones. Sleek, slim jaw that was clenched ever so tightly. Perfectly dainty ears.

“Can I at least have your name?” He said the words without thinking, knowing she wouldn’t answer the question from the moment they flew off his lips.

She hesitated, her attention shifting to the iron door from whence he came. “Eve . . . my name is Eve. Now will you go?”

Eve. It couldn’t be.

Ruan steadied himself as the floor of the fort shook beneath his feet. It took him more than a second to realize it wasn’t the floor shaking at all. It was him. He felt punched in the gut. Hollow. Carved out. His legs little more than twigs supporting the lead weight of his body. He wavered to and fro like a flag in the whipping wind, until he thought he’d swing so heavily to one side that he’d face-plant on the unforgiving stone floor. He closed his eyes. Forced himself to steady.

She’d returned . .
 .

But she was dead, he reasoned with himself, in spite of the coiling and striking of tension in his gut. He’d killed her nearly a hundred years ago, in the early eighteen-hundreds. On their wedding night. He’d lived every second regretting the decision to drink from her vein during their intimate marriage ceremony. And now she’d come back. How was this possible? Could the gods have forgiven him for the sin he committed against her and returned her soul to earth?

“Eve?” He was around the tablet in a heartflicker, one hand wrapping around her tiny waist, the other ghosting over her hair. She squirmed in his arms, struggled against his hold.