Vanished (10 page)

Surprised
to have won so easily, Papria shook her hand and nodded. She watched the woman leave, then grabbed a fresh suit and made her way to the shower. The small portable cubical was an obvious afterthought, but she didn’t mind. The thin plexi-glass offered a bit of privacy, so long as one didn’t come all the way into the room.

The hot water streamed down and all the stress and implications caught up to her. She pressed her back to the wall and slid down, tears streaming down her face. She couldn’t help but wonder if people would ever stop treating her like she was some animal waiting to snap.
And how could they, after how she’d snapped on Zoltan as soon as she’d had the chance?

Her thoughts shifted to Radek, and her spine curled. She crossed her legs, her shoulders hunching inward. The hot water coursed over her as his words trickled back. The look on his face, that mix of worry and anger, clawed at her. Why couldn’t he understand it was easier to not think about it?

Pushing him out of her mind, she opted for more confusing thoughts. Would one of them sync with her? The danger of confinement in mixed groups - and the reason men and women were kept apart - was because a compatible couple falling into natural harmony threatened the hold the government had over their people. There was a good chance she had a match here, though with all of them able to feel her pain to some extent, close quarters would get really uncomfortable.

Th
rough the thoughts, another fear surfaced. If she developed an accord, he’d expect… A flash of Kred’s force ripped through her mind and she flinched. A sharp ache in her pelvis wrenched a gasp from her lips. She opened her eyes to a pool of blood around her on the floor of the shower. Her breath caught in her throat. A scream tore from her.

Cutting the sound short, she squeezed her eyes shut, tears streaming down her cheeks.

“Papria?” Radek’s call prompted her to respond, but words wouldn’t come.

“Hey, are you okay?”
His throaty voice sounded in her ear and she threw her arms around him. He lowered to his knees and patted her back awkwardly. The minty pine heat of him seeped into her, calming the fear within.

“What’s wrong?”

She struggled to catch her breath through her sobs. “I-“ Her eyes dropped to the clean shower floor, and she blinked. “I… uh…” her glance darted back to his worried blue eyes.

“I thought I was bleeding,” she whispered.

He glanced down at the shower floor, then met her gaze again. He didn’t speak, but his question was clear.

“Oh, god, I’m going crazy, aren’t I?” She backed away, pulling her knees to her chest to hide her nudity. Her arms sprang around her legs. She realized
her body trembled violently and glanced around, trapped.

“No, you’re not.” He got
to his feet, averting his gaze and she wondered if her pain had cut through him too.

“
Would you like me to stay?” he asked.

Her words betrayed her. “Yes.”

He nodded, turning his back and hovering in the frame of the doorway. “I’ll be right here.”

Needing to cover up, to hide, she stepped from the water and dried off with quick hands. Stepping into the fresh suit, she struggled with the zipper at her lower back, wishing, for once, the damn thing wouldn’t be such a pain.

“Will you ever see me as normal?” The question dashed from her lips, and she saw him stiffen. His shoulders squared, his arms flexed, and she knew he’d crossed them.

“No,” he said, and she recognized the truthfulness. “But, is that such a bad thing? I mean, on a base level, I was built to protect you. Our people
have that need to make sure women are safe.”

“I don’t need you to keep me safe.” The words were crueler than she intended, but he didn’t seem upset.

Mirth tempered his words, and she imagined a smile on his face as he spoke. “With all due respect, ma’am, I’ve saved you after you were shot, held a gun to your ex-lover’s chest when you didn’t want him there, and happen to be in this room because you were apparently bleeding to death. I beg to differ.”

Des
pite her annoyance and the stiffening of her muscles at the mention of Zoltan, a smile snuck across her face. “When you say it like that I have to agree, but, I need you to understand I can handle myself, bullets, Zoltan, and bleeding notwithstanding.”

He turned around,
his arms pulling her close. Large hands gripped her hips, holding her body flush with his. The intensity he focused on her stole her breath. His husky words flowed around them. “You misunderstand, I don’t think you are unable to take care of yourself, I want to be that back up, that second layer of defense to save you from the bullets, from bleed out, from your demons and from yourself.”

He held her gaze with exquisite blue eyes, pupils retracting a bit.
A bit of surprise jolted through her, and the pain faded in favor of excitement. His hands quested, capturing the zipper she’d been struggling with. Feeling faint, she locked her knees, terrified she’d fall at his feet.

A palm
pressed to her back, the other hand slowly easing the zipper up. Goosebumps erupted under his gentle caress, and she shivered. Struggling to draw a breath, a shiver danced through her when powerful fingers brushed her neck. Her hands flattened on his chest, bracing the need to press against the solid body before her.

Tears filled her eyes, trickling down her cheeks. “Why?” The whisper seemed to s
trike him like a blow, and he stepped back.

“Because everyone needs someone to fall back on.” He
leaned back, relaxing against the wall and stared at the ceiling. “And I think you are too hard on yourself. It’s okay to not be
okay
, you know.”

Her throat ached. “It was so… humiliating. The whole world saw me… and I keep hoping, if I say everything is fine, people will forget. Maybe I’ll forget to
o.”

His shoulders squared
. “Stop letting what other people think get to you. None of this was your fault. Those bastards who thought it was a good way to break you deserved to die. Just focus on healing, forget anything else. And if you need to talk, you know where to find me.”

She
shivered. “Thank you,” she said. There was nothing else to say.

His voice lowered, more hoarse than usual. “You’re welcome.” His heavy footfalls sounded through the room on his way to the door. She
wrapped her arms tight across her chest, fingers digging into her shoulders as she watched him retreat.

He
paused in the doorway leading out of the room and her mouth went dry.

“Do you still need me?”
he asked.

She bit her tongue on the first response trying to fight free and opted for the safer, knee-jerk answer.
“I think I’m okay now.” He didn’t need to hear that she worried she might always need the comfort he offered.

He nodded, his chin lifting. When the door slid closed behind him, she sighed.
Still exhausted, she debated her options. With heavy steps, she made her way to the bed and fell in, throwing an arm over her eyes.

“Wake up!” Farali’s voice broke into the chaotic terror in her mind.

Jarred awake, Papria blinked
at the small group ringing her bed. X
teral’s lips were pressed tight. Vendas held a look of concern; Gerand serious worry.

Farali seemed to notice her disorientation. “Do you remember your dreams?”

The men shifted. Xteral’s arms crossed, his weight listing to the right. Papria tugged the blanket to her chin, watching the change with confusion.

In answer to Farali’s question, she shook her head, hair snapping around her chin like a whip. Something dark begged her memory, but the inky demon refused to clarify itself. When she stilled, she noticed Gerand’s dark freckles settling into wrinkles of anxiety.

The woman glanced over her shoulder. “Thanks, guys, go ahead and go.”

Xteral studied Papria with worry, feet planted until she nodded her permission.

“I promise I’m okay, guys.”

Gerand’s jaw set, his face becoming impassive and he followed his comrade to the door. Vendas hesitated, leaning her direction. Some counterweight tugged his frame toward the door, yet still, he waited for something.

She put on her best reassuring face. “Go, Vendas.” Her gentle words pushed him a bit, and he retreated with slow steps.

Farali turned to her. “Those men are all aching. They sense you are in danger and their instincts are to not leave your side.”

Papria hung her head. “I’m sorry, I can’t- this, I just-“

“Relax. I’m not trying to make you feel guilty. I just want to you know you’re safe here. These men would die before allowing you to come to harm.” Farali pulled out a data screen, tracing out a series of notes.

“We’re going to touch down soon. Is there anything you’d like to talk about?”

Papria shook her head, wanting nothing more than to
be alone. Farali got up, her own struggle evident in her lifted shoulders. She spoke, her words soft.

“I’m here. If you need anything.” She
left Papria to clutch the blankets with numb fists.

Once she was alone, she sprang to her feet. She rushed to the drawers to grab a
fresh suit not drenched in nightmare sweat. Someone had left her a new suit. This one, while white, was set with the customary built in harness for climbing, as well as a thigh holster for a pistol. On the left side. She grinned.

She lifted it, admiring the thick stitching and the rings and hooks along the hips and thighs, strengthening the harness. This was a solid piece of equipment, designed to keep her safe. She slipped into it, wiggling as she pulled it up over her hips. When it cleared her
shoulders, she put her arms in. It settled around her and she noticed the chest was built to comfortably accommodate her breasts. A blush seared over her cheeks. 

Sure this was a first, she couldn’t
help but wonder who’d built it. How they’d gotten her measurements? Whoever it was had thoughtfully run the zipper up the front and created a side flap that snapped to hide it.

Secured in her new suit, she left the room
. She held her chin held, pride bubbling inside. Her stomach rumbled. She ignored it, realizing she’d slept through an entire Earth day. Again. Would she ever get enough sleep again?

“Flushed any
ugly puppies today?” Stenrad’s cloud of red curls waved as he jogged to catch up with her. His hand clapped on her shoulder and he guided her around.

“Sadly, no. What’s up?”
Pride that she didn’t flinch at his touch nestled into her heart. There was hope things would be normal after all.

He threw her a glance, those copper eyes bright. “You need guns. We’re landing”

“Hell yeah.” She grinned.

“Hell yeah!” He echoed, stepping back to get a look at her. “Nice.
Gerand did a hell of a job. Feel good?”

She nodded. “I didn’t know he did it, but hell yes.”

Stenrad started walking and she matched his pace. “Yeah, he learned sewing as his extra combat training. We thought he was nuts, until we realized he was the only one who could repair suits and gear on the fly. Guess he gets the last laugh.”

“Did you guys all train together?” she asked as they turned a corner.

“Yeah, we were trained by a privatized group. This was the only thing we trained for, too.”

“Well, the group must have done something right for your whole unit to win a pass.” Her stomach twisted. Or their trials had been as rigged as hers. She shoved the thought away as he continued speaking.

“Yeah, I think that was the only thing that saved my ass in trials. I imagined Vendas yelling at me the whole time.” He laughed, the hearty noise echoing down the halls. They stopped before a door and he opened it, motioning her to go first.

She stepped in, meeting the gaze of several of the guys. “Hey,” she said with a nervous nod. In groups, they
were more intimidating. One or two she could easily take down, not that she worried she had to. There was something to be said about having them all hardwired to defend her.

She recognized Camter by his tall frame, jagged face and oddly light blue-green eyes. His chocolate hair did its best to blend in with his skin and the effect still startled her
in a pleasant manner.

He nodded, offering her a weapon. With a couple short steps, he grabbed her elbow and guided her through a door. She recognized the range, grinning while he led her to a window.
She’d done this countless times with Daddy.

He moved behind her, his hands guiding her arms. “Crossbows are tough. This one is my design.
Reloads like an olden Earth pistol, swing the barrel out, put bolts in, snap closed, chamber holds twelve.” He lifted her arms, his foot spreading hers to shoulder width while he balanced her. His hand gripped her shoulder, the other forcing her to extend her arms.

“Extra points for you if I can poison the tips.”

His chin nudged her hair as he nodded.
“Trigger, target through crosshairs. This is a close range weapon. No more than ten feet, hear me?”

She nodded. He moved a hand along the side of the gun, before dropping. She glanced
up over her shoulder at him, and he nodded at the target.

“Shoot.”

She faced forward, squeezing the trigger. The bolt tore through the forehead of the target.

“A purest. I like that. Do it again.”

She aimed again, but he stepped in front of her. The bolt clicked, refusing to fly. He offered her a quick smile.

“Safety. If you are shooting at any of us, the action
stalls.”

“You’ve eliminated friendly fire?”
She could hardly breath, stunned by the notion.