Vessel (19 page)

***

In the gray light of dawn, Tiber and I followed Anders to a coach outside the compound. This one was nothing like what I’d arrived in months ago. Anders’s coach had cushy padded seats and heat that gushed from vents in the floor. The warmth felt good on my frozen toes but guilt kept me from enjoying it. I’m sure the coach behind ours wasn’t heated at all. I wondered if Stef would last the trip. I hoped they’d at least give her a blanket.

I dug my hands into my pockets, feeling for Alana’s needle, which was right where I’d left it stabbed into the thick wool seam at the bottom of my right pocket. She assured me the poison wouldn’t leave the tip of the needle until it met the warmth of someone’s flesh.

“Is it not toasty enough in the coach for you, Recks?” Anders teased.

I quickly placed my hands in my lap. “No, Master. It’s merely a habit. The coach is perfectly comfortable.”

“It’s a good thing you like to be warm. It gets quite toasty at these Cleansings.” He smiled at me as if we were going to a party. I did my best to smile back, although it sickened me to do so. The coach lurched forward unexpectedly, and I thought I might lose my breakfast.

“Have you done many Cleansings, Master Anders?” Tiber could hardly contain his excitement.

Anders settled back into his seat. “Oh certainly. Hundreds probably, but who’s keeping count? We did a lot more when I was younger. It isn’t as necessary these days.”

I bit the inside of my cheek and stared out the window, hoping Tiber would shut up. Instead, he kept on like a giddy little girl.

“Why do less now? It seems like such a useful tool.”

Anders laughed a little. I kept my eyes on the snowy forest.

“It can be, but one must be careful not to push people too far or they begin to feel oppressed. A little fear is a good thing, but too much fear can cause panic. It was necessary in the early days to bring the heretics back in line so the Reticents could rise above the fray. And there were a lot more heretics then too. We’ve snuffed out many of those. Now, our greatest threat appears to be other nations.”

My ears perked up at that, and I let my eyes turn back to Anders. Was this what Kinder had alluded to?

“Other nations? What other nations? Only the Reticents have achieved state-level society since the Dark Times,” said Tiber.

“We don’t believe that is entirely the case. When Mother Sun cleansed the world, there were pockets of humans that survived around the world. History has shown some of these civilizations were quite brutal. Reticent monks have traveled far and wide in recent years. Although they are far away, there are those that fancy themselves greater civilizations than our own.”

“But Mother Sun chose the Reticents alone to keep her secrets … ”

“That she did. We are the chosen few, and we shall always prevail.”

My curiosity drew me out of my silence. “Where are these other peoples, Master?”

“Far to the east, many months’ travel by horse.”

“So far away … they may never come here at all,” I reasoned.

“We aren’t convinced of that. Our Envoys suggest otherwise.”

“What have they heard?”

Anders looked hard at me, as if he suspected I was digging for information. I quickly tried to backtrack.

“I mean, they must’ve seen something to make them doubt the power of the Reticents. Are we somehow vulnerable?”

Maybe that made it worse because Anders’s face drew up in a pinched way.

“Vulnerable? No. We are the most powerful nation on Earth,” said Anders, although it didn’t look like the thought gave him any joy.

Tiber, still excited about burning things and less interested in imaginary countries he couldn’t conceive of, interrupted, much to my relief. I didn’t enjoy being the object of Anders’s annoyance.

“Where will the Cleansing be held today?” he asked.

I’d assumed we’d be going back to Tingrad, but it was not the case.

“We have half a day’s ride to Prague. The inhabitants call it Podge now since they know no better.”

Tiber snorted, but I failed to see what was so funny.

“We’ll be spending the night there in a lovely apartment overlooking the city.”

It occurred to me I was now the member of an Envoy like the one sent to murder Kinder and me many months ago. Every part of me longed to scream, “No!”

“The Cleansing will be tonight. Each of you will have a role to play. How you perform will have bearing on your status amongst the Reticents.”

Anders stared directly at me, as if I cared whether I had status amongst the Reticents or not. I’d rather be a prince among lepers. I nodded just to get those eyes off me.

In awhile, the chitchat died down. Anders dozed off. Tiber may have glared at me, but I paid him no mind. Instead, I watched the countryside outside the coach as it changed from forest to open grasslands with rolling hills and the occasional dilapidated farmhouse. I’d never been to Prague before, but I knew from the downloads that it was once a large, beautiful city on the banks of the Danube River. I wondered how many people lived there now, but mostly I imagined escaping.

All the scenarios I envisioned were only Alana and me, to hell with Kinder. What had he been doing all this time, pretending to be from the East when he was a Reticent all along? He wasn’t Anders’s friend, and he wasn’t mine. I half expected him to be gone with Alana when we got back from this errand. That was how little I trusted him. I’d found the centrifuges. He probably didn’t need me for anything else.

I didn’t want to think about him anymore, so I closed my eyes and imagined how Alana felt next to me, the sweet smell of her hair and the salty taste of her lips. She was the most beautiful thing I’d ever known, and I had worked hard to memorize every part of her in case I ever lost her again. Her skin felt soft and smooth as the rose petals I’d once touched in a garden as a child, except for the uneven burn on one side of her face. Even that I loved. I loved the way her body fit into every part of me perfectly, as if we were made as one being. She was like no one else.

Anders was right about one thing, the apartment was lovely, but it was more like a palace. The windows faced west, giving us a view of the sunset over the ancient city while we ate a rather lavish meal of lamb and eggplant. The apartment was staffed by Reticents and appeared to be used quite often. I forced my food down without an appetite. I wasn’t so sure I wouldn’t lose it later. Mother’s Love flamed orange across the sky, more brilliant as the night closed in. How could I do this?

A growing terror crept into my skull and took root in my chest. Thankfully, Anders didn’t mention Stef during the meal. When he finished the last drop of his ruby wine, he said, “Time for you to get dressed. Meet me downstairs when you’re ready.”

We stood as he left the table. Through the window, the bonfire in the street down below us already burned bright. The servants moved to clear the table as Tiber approached me to look at the fire as well.

“You should have killed her that day in the woods,” he whispered to me.

“I don’t kill.”

“You do today,” he reminded me with a smile. “It’s not hard, but if anyone can screw it up, it’d be you.”

I turned my eyes from the fire to his grotesque face.

“Don’t mess up, or you’ll end up in a Cleansing yourself.”

Tiber whacked me on the back in a gesture that was half friendly, half threatening. I couldn’t stop myself from lashing out.

“If I did choose to kill someone, it’d be you.”

Tiber pretended to be shocked, clutching his chest. “Oh my! I’m so frightened.” He laughed as he left for his room. I felt for the pin still safe in my cloak and wished for the strength to do this.

“Mother Sun, help me … please let this work.”

I hurried to the bedroom I’d been assigned and pulled on the long pointed ceremonial hood Anders expected us to wear. It reminded me of Alana’s
billa
. Could she see as little in that as I saw now? Perhaps it’d be like blinders on a horse. The less I could see of the crowd and the fire, the better. I moved Alana’s pin to the hem of my sleeve, closer to my hand. Tiber and I were bringing her out. If anyone caught sight of my pin, it’d be Tiber, not a person who’d keep quiet. Luckily, I’d stolen a few things in my time. My sleight of hand would serve me well in that regard.

I took the wide staircase down to the grand entrance where Anders and Tiber were talking in hushed voices. Anders looked up at me on the steps.

“What kept you?”

“Um, sorry. It’s hard to see with this hood on.”

“You’ll be glad for it when you’re close to the flames. It’s fireproof.”

We followed Anders silently to the basement. The noise of the bonfire and the crowd outside couldn’t penetrate the building, but I knew it grew. A strangely familiar man with pointed teeth met us in the hall.

“Weevil will help you prepare the girl to be cleansed and get her outside. I’ll summon you thusly to bring her forward.” Anders made a beckoning motion with his arm. “Any questions, ask Weevil,” he said as he left.

“Come on,” said Weevil, as if the whole exercise bored him.

I remembered Alana’s fear of this man. She’d told me of him months ago, back in Roma. He unlocked a door with a silver key, and we followed him inside.

“Wake up, sunshine,” said Weevil. He kicked the foot of the bed Stef lay on. At least I thought it was Stef. She was now bald, stick-thin, and pale as the snow outside. Perhaps what we were about to do was a mercy. She didn’t move.

“He said get up!” screamed Tiber, tearing off her thin blanket to expose her half-naked body. Stef flinched, her eyes clamped shut. I drilled my fist as hard as I could into the back of Tiber’s head, knocking him to his knees. He was up and after me in seconds, ramming me into the furniture and forcing the air from my lungs. The only thing that saved me was Weevil’s grip on Tiber’s arm. He jerked Tiber off me and shoved him into the hall.

“You! Outside!” Weevil roared, slamming the door behind him. “You! Get up and help her dress.”

I couldn’t believe my luck. Should I do it now? What did Alana say about the drug? How long would it last? Was it too soon? Or would they become suspicious if she slipped into a comatose state? I leaned over the bed and touched her frail arm.

“Stef? Are you awake?”

Her eyelids fluttered and then opened. “Recks?”

My hood had fallen off in my struggle with Tiber and lay on the floor somewhere. I don’t think she was supposed to see me, but I didn’t care.

“Yes, it’s me.” I hated to admit it.

“Has something happened?” The hope in her eyes cut me deep.

“No, it’s time to go.”

I picked up the white robes Weevil threw on the foot of the bed for her and held them up to create a screen for her. Weevil had no right to look upon her. She might be dead already, but he had no right to her dignity. None of us did.

“Help me,” she whispered, reaching up to my neck. I let her hang on to me to pull herself up as I draped the robe around her, helping her find the armholes. I slipped my drugged needle from my sleeve and pricked the skin over her heart.

She didn’t react, but she looked up at me with questions in her eyes.

“It’ll be all right,” I reassured her, putting the pin back in its hiding place and fastening the front of her robe. Weevil hadn’t noticed a thing. “Are there shoes for her?” I asked.

“No shoes.”

I winced thinking of the icy streets outside, but then I remembered she wouldn’t feel any of it thanks to Alana. “All right. She’s ready then.”

Weevil opened the door. “You’ll have to carry her out. She can’t stand. There’s a litter outside for you two to carry her on. No more fighting or Anders will have my hide. And yours.”

He directed that last bit at Tiber, who’d waited as instructed. He stood outside glowering at the three of us as if we’d betrayed him terribly. I wasn’t about to let him touch Stef. I scooped her up in my arms. She weighed so little; I barely felt her leaning against my shoulder. I pinched her leg, but she didn’t flinch. I hoped the drug worked already. It had to. I couldn’t bear it otherwise.

Outside the sun had set, and it was very dark in the alley where we loaded Stef onto the litter behind the building. I shivered in the wind despite my heavy wool robes. Stef was completely still, and I knew Alana’s drug had worked for sure.