Vet's Desire (21 page)

“Can I crash
here tonight?” Alex asked.

“Sure.”

“Thanks.”

“Mum smothering
you a bit?”

Alex sighed.
“She means well.”

“But you just
want a bit of quiet. To be left alone for awhile.”

“Yeah.”

“Want to talk
about it?”

“Nah.”

“Okay.”

In comfortable
silence, they slouched back in the sofa and watched TV, both of
them lost in their own thoughts, Al snoozing happily.

~*~

Early the next
morning, Cindy finished feeding Al and after a snuggle and gentle
play, she put him back in the kitten pen. Going into the shower,
she leaned her forehead against the wall and relaxed as the water
cascaded over her hair and down her back.

Sleep had been
hard coming the previous night. She’d tossed and turned while
trying to decide what to do to rectify her mistake. In the dawn
hours she’d come to a decision. There was no way she was going back
to face Tim and there were two good reasons for it. One, there was
no need, and two, he probably didn’t want to see her.

Okay, there was
a reason number three, and that was because she felt like a first
class fool, but she was sticking with reasons one and two otherwise
she’d feel like a coward. So she disregarded number three and
concentrated instead on one and two. Nothing like denial.

So that left
ringing and leaving him a message on his answering machine while he
was at work. He could come home, hear it, wipe it clean and not
bother with her ever again.

Why that
thought should hurt, she didn’t want to dwell on. A clean break,
that was it. Go back to what they were, nodding acquaintances.

Yes, that was
the right decision.

Having
breakfast with Alex, Ruth and Sam in the big kitchen, Cindy chatted
about everyday things. Alex volunteered to go out and help Ruth
with the heavier things to be done in the garden, openly expressing
his wish to do some hard labour without thinking about anything. It
surprised Cindy that Ruth didn’t argue but then she’d always had a
soft spot for Alex, probably because he was a soldier, the same as
Sam had been during the war.

Leaving Sam
downstairs happily vacuuming the carpets, Cindy went upstairs to
the little alcove off her bedroom. Sitting in the chair, she lifted
the phone and dialled Tim’s number. As she’d expected for this time
of the morning, Tim’s answering machine clicked on, his voice
recording stating ‘This is Tim Clarke. Leave a message.’

Just the
recording was enough for her mouth to go dry. That and the combined
embarrassment and sudden racing of her heart. Five long seconds
passed before she finally had the gumption to speak. She’d
rehearsed the speech several times so that it would flow
smoothly.

Closing her
eyes, she said hurriedly, “Hi Tim, this is Cindy. Listen, about
last night, forget what I said. I was wrong. Your control is
important to you and I should never have suggested that you give it
up. Anyway, I guess we’re two different people on two different
paths. No harm, no foul. I’ll see you around sometime.” Placing the
phone down, she nodded.

No harm, no
foul. It had gone well.

The phone rang
and she picked it up.

“Cindy?” Tim
queried.

Oh shit
!
Leaping out of the chair, she slammed the phone down and stared at
it with her heart pounding. Oh God! Tim had been home! He’d been
listening to what she’d said! It wasn’t supposed to happen like
that! No no
no
! It had been perfectly planned and executed!
Perfectly
!

It seemed
not.

Heart in her
mouth, she waited for the phone to ring again but it remained
silent. Rushing to the window, she peered out at the driveway
before slapping her forehead with her palm. Tim wasn’t superman,
flying from his house to hers in seconds. And anyway, why would
he?

She had to get
a grip!

Hear beating,
she sat on the end of the big bed. Okay, she reasoned, so he’d
heard her phone call. So she’d hung up in his ear. Maybe it was for
the best. Of course, maybe he thought he’d gotten the wrong number.
Maybe he hadn’t actually been ringing her. Maybe that was why the
phone didn’t ring again, because this time he’d gotten the right
number.

Yeah, that had
to be it. Tim Clarke wouldn’t go chasing after a woman who’d told
him to lose control, then told him it was the wrong thing to do.
Telling him. Oh yeah, he’d just really love being told what to
do…not. Oh boy. Cindy cringed.

It was time to
step back, say nothing, let the soothing calmness of non contact
work its magic.

It was time to
go and do some mind-numbing computer work for the family business
and forget about
everything
.

Except Al, of
course.

She managed to
do just that, immersing herself in work, emailing the different
companies and dealing with the thousand little things needing to be
attended to keep the different smaller companies running
smoothly.

An email from
Marty informed her that he’d dug around Robert Dunsbrough’s deep,
dark background, and true to her intuition there was more than met
the eye with his dealings. The family weren’t buying his chain of
home ware shops, but there was another chain of furniture shops
that Marty thought looked promising, and he asked her to do some
computer background checks and see what she could find.

In-between
feeding Al and concentrating on work, the day managed to flit past.
By the time she’d finished for the day, Sam, Ruth and Alex had all
left, leaving her with the enjoyable companionship of Al.

Steadfastly she
concentrated on feeding Al and playing gently with him, taking him
downstairs with her to place in the kitten pen in the lounge while
she checked the freezer for something to cook.

Sam, bless him,
had mince thawed out and she decided to make Spaghetti Bolognese.
She’d just gotten the onion out when the front doorbell rang. With
a dish towel thrown over one shoulder, she wandered down the
hallway to open the door.

“Hi,” said
Tim.

Her mind went
completely blank.

His gaze swept
slowly down her, taking in the light sundress that reached
mid-thigh, the ruffled apron, and her bare feet. “Good Lord. No
high heels?”

“Ummm…no?” What
was he doing on her doorstep? She could feel her face flame in
embarrassment.

Those brown
eyes lifted to study her face seriously. “Red cheeks. Goes well
with the tiny flowers sprinkled all over your dress.”

Not used to
feeling so self-conscious, Cindy shifted uneasily from foot to
foot. “What can I do for you?”

“You said to
call you. I came instead.”

Her mouth fell
open.

Standing there
in cargo shorts, t-shirt and sneakers with no socks, his dark hair
slightly dishevelled, Tim looked relaxed - until one noticed the
fine lines bracketing his mouth which wasn’t smiling his usual
devil-may-care smile, and the guardedness of his normally twinkling
eyes.

In fact, Cindy
had seen more seriousness in Tim since she’d met him than at any
other time.

Oh God, she’d
taken away his happiness. Unbidden, a lump rose in her throat.

“Cindy?” He
leaned a little closer, his gaze locked on her eyes. “Are you all
right?”

“F-fine.”

“Because you
don’t exactly look excited at me taking you up on your offer.”

This time she
choked, and it wasn’t with tears. Her breath caught and she started
coughing.

Flapping the
tea towel at him, she turned and hurried back into the kitchen,
grabbing a glass of water and gulping down several mouthfuls. Once
she’d gotten her breath back, she turned to find Tim sitting on the
kitchen bench watching her.

“Better?” he
queried.

“Yes,
thanks.”

He glanced at
the mince sitting in the bowl. “Cooking tea?”

“Yes.” She
waited for him to repeat what he’d said earlier, but when he
didn’t, she raised her brows at him.

“I didn’t know
you could cook.” He looked from the bowl to her.

“Because I’m a
spoiled rich bitch?” She couldn’t help but ask.

“No. Because
you don’t look like someone who cooks.”

“I look more
like someone who eats.” Picking up an onion, she weighed it in one
hand while keeping her attention fastened on him.

His gaze
wandered over her curves. “I didn’t say that.”

“You didn’t
have to.”

His gaze
snapped back up to lock with hers. “I said, I didn’t say that.”

Why did he have
the power to unnerve her when no one else could? She’d faced down
bullies in school and walked away laughing. She’d faced snobs who
looked down at her style of clothing and her overgenerous,
plus-sized body, and she’d walked away laughing. She had friends
who liked her, family who loved her, and a kitten who thought she
was his mother.

Yet this one
man could make her self conscious. And yet again, he never once
made mention of her weight, in fact, going by the heat that flared
in his eyes before being quickly hidden, he liked her curves.

A lot.

Surely he
wasn’t really here to make good on her offer? A little tingle shot
through her to twirl low in her belly and slip into her nether
regions.

Clearing her
throat, she raised her head slightly and eyed him coolly.
Stay
in control, Cindy. Find out exactly what he wants before you run -
either from him or too him. Oh God, where did that thought come
from? Concentrate, or you’ll make a fool of yourself again!
“So, Tim. Why are you here?”

“You said to
call you.”

Oh sweet
Lord.

“And then you
rang and rescinded your invitation.” While she waited silently, he
plucked an apple from the bowl an arms-length from where his
backside rested on the bench, polished it on his t-shirt, bit into
it and chewed thoughtfully. “I wondered about that.”

“No need to.”
Picking up a vegetable knife, she skinned the onion, cut it in half
and ran it under cold water. “I realised that I was asking you to
give up the one thing that has gotten you through this life. I had
no right to do that.”

He didn’t
answer straight away, but she heard him bite off another crisp
piece of apple. She was cutting the onion when he finally said,
“What if I decided that you’re right? That I’m too scared to give
up control?”

“I’d be
terrified that I’ve given you the wrong information.” Scraping the
onion into the saucepan with the mince, she added herbs and beef
stock cubes. “I have no real idea of your childhood, how you felt,
even how you see the world is only my guess-work, and to tell you
the truth...” She ripped the top off the tomato paste container and
scraped the contents into the saucepan. “If someone had the nerve
to tell me what they think I should do, without them knowing me
properly, I’d be pissed off. Majorly pissed off.” Lighting the
stove, she placed the saucepan on the flame, clapped the lid on and
turned to face Tim, folding her arms decisively.

He just
continued to study her while eating the apple.

Raising one
brow, she watched as he finished nibbling around the apple core
before he jumped off the bench and strode across to the bin,
lifting the lid to toss it inside and letting it swing shut
again.

Then, without a
word, he closed the short gap between them, grabbed her upper arms,
jerked her into him and kissed her.

Hard.

Fast.

Toe-curlingly,
achingly
hot
.

His tongue
traced her lips with determination, demanding she open to him, and
she could do nothing but obey with her heart pounding in her chest,
her loins growing damp, and a little voice in her head screaming
Whoo hoo!

Every line of
his lean body was pressed against her curves, his pecs flexing
impressively when she rested her palms against his chest.

There was
nothing of control rescinding in his kiss or his posture as he bent
over her. He kissed her so thoroughly that by the time he lifted
his head, she was gasping for air, her eyes were dazed, and all she
could do was stare up at him and lick her tingling lips.

Brown eyes
already dark with ardour, Tim looked down at her. “I like having
control, I want it, I live by it. Then you came into my life and
proceeded to tell me to come and see you when I was ready to give
up that control. But here’s the thing, Cindy. I’m not prepared to
give up that control.”

She swallowed.
“So why are you here?”

“Because I’ve
realised that I’m not prepared to give you up, either.”

There was no
denying the little thrill that went through her at that
announcement, but it was also tempered with confusion. “You never
had me.”

His gaze
strayed over her shoulder to the table behind her.

Cindy’s cheeks
flamed. “I don’t mean
that
.”

“
That
was a part of it.” Tim’s gaze locked on hers once more. “But it
started before then, too, this attraction between us.”

Heart knocking
about in her chest, so very conscious of the warmth of his body
against her own, she whispered, “When?”

“Really?” He
gave his head a small shake. “Okay, then. Maybe the attraction was
earlier on my part and not on yours.”

Actually, she
had no idea when she’d become attracted to him. No idea at all. The
only thing she did know was that she did find him attractive.
Somehow, some time, Tim Clarke had grown on her.

God help her.
She wanted to rip his clothes off right now and have her way with
him. But she was no fool, maybe he was playing with her, he didn’t
really know what he wanted, he…“What do you want, Tim?” she asked
bluntly.

His regard was
so steady that she found it almost uncomfortable, but at the same
time she refused to look away. She needed to know his
intentions.