Vet's Desire (20 page)

Rather than
scream that he was a vile, insensitive pig, Cindy just regarded him
thoughtfully. Right before she surprised the living hell out of
him.

Leaning forward
over the counter, she touched his jaw with one perfectly manicured
nail. “That’s the whole point, isn’t it? You’re always in control.
You never trust anyone enough to allow them control. If you think
you’re going to lose control, you panic and run.”

“Panic?” His
mouth dropped open in outrage. “Run?
Me?
”

“Yeah, you.”
She tapped him once on the chin. “You’re scared to give up control,
Tim Clarke, playboy vet. You don’t have what you desire because
you’re scared it’ll mean giving up some of that control you
have.”

Indignantly, he
stood up. “I don’t know what the hell you’re on about, Lawson, but
that’s-”

“Control
issues, Tim.” Rolling her shoulders as though she’d just had a
weight lifted off her, she smiled at him. “It’s not having had sex
with me that bothers you so much, it’s the fact that
you lost
control
.” Before he could get a word in edgewise, she added,
“And you know, if you do it enough times with someone you can
trust, you might find that you’ll like it.” She walked briskly over
to the door, stopping briefly at it to smile back at him.

Warmly.

Sultrily.

“Call me.”

And then she
was gone, her high heels first muffled by the carpet in his lounge
before clicking decisively along his hallway. He didn’t hear the
door open and close, but he somehow knew exactly when she’d
left.

The house was
emptier.

Sort of like
his mind, really. Standing there in his kitchen, mouth agape, his
mind completely empty of any thought.

When thought
did start to return, he realised that Cindy Lawson had just offered
to take him under her control.

All he had to
do was call her.

~*~

Climbing into
the car, Cindy shut the door and buckled up her seatbelt. A twist
of the key brought the engine to life, but all she did was sit
there and stare ahead.

Had she really
offered to take control of Tim? And in what context, exactly? Only
now did the thought occur to her.

He took women
to their home.

He chose the
women.

He had to have
control.

For her to
offer to control him, she had to be the one to initiate - what?
Sex? Oh boy.

Shifting in her
seat, she bit her lip. Yes, that was exactly what she’d meant when
she’d made that statement. There was no doubt in her mind. However,
there was some doubt now because even though she wasn’t a virgin,
nor was she an experienced courtesan of old, trained to please men
in all ways. Okay, she knew several ways, but enough to take
control of Tim? Whoo boy.

Mind you, the
thought of having Tim under her control, spread out on the bed to
do with as she pleased - Cindy fanned herself with her hand. Whoo
boy again.

Of course,
there was the little matter of…um…her slight body issues. Sure, she
was confident, she knew her body wasn’t perfect but heck, there
were other things that could be worse. And really, she was just a
voluptuous babe, right?

Sure as heck,
Tim had admitted that he liked her body, that her curves turned him
on. However, she wasn’t so confident that she didn’t have a few
doubts now and again, she was only human, but with a sudden shrug,
she pushed the doubts away.

In all
likelihood, Tim wouldn’t be coming around knocking on her door to
be taken control of, and she seriously doubted that he’d phone her.
Turned on by her curves he might be, but he wasn’t besotted with
her.

That particular
thought made a niggling little pain come to life in the vicinity of
her heart.

Oh hell, she
was a soppy sap.

Tossing her
head, Cindy checked the side mirrors before pulling out into the
evening traffic.

But her mind
kept working overtime.

Okay, she liked
Tim. That was part of the reason why she’d come to apologise to him
for her idiot brother. The other part was, well, to be truthful,
she missed seeing him. Two weeks and not a sighting of him at the
pub she’d been to the previous Saturday. In fact, Tim hadn’t been
seen in his usual haunts for more than two weeks. Unheard of for
the playboy vet.

She missed his
eyes that twinkled mischievously, his shirts with their ridiculous
sayings, his quirky smile, and his thoughtful expression that she
was sure he had no idea he wore when he contemplated things.

Anyone who
mixed in similar circles as the Clarke family had heard whispers,
the older generation witnessing the way his mother had tried to
control Tim from the moment he was born. He had mummy issues, and
it had affected him big time. It affected the way he regarded women
and was the reason he maintained such tight control over his
relationships.

It was why he
didn’t let any woman get close to him.

So how close
did she want to go?

Pulling over
into the parking area of a service station, she picked up her
mobile phone and was about to dial Maddy’s number when a patrol car
pulled up directly behind her. In the evening gloom she couldn’t
make out the exact features of the cops that got out of the car,
but she recognised the tall, powerful figure that came striding up
to her door. The other cop went into the service station.

Mike bent down
to peer at her through the window. “Cindy.”

“Hey, Mike.”
She waggled the phone. “It’s all right, I wasn’t driving and
phoning.”

“I know, I saw
you.” He glanced around and then back at Cindy, his pale-eyed gaze
steadily regrading her. “Everything all right?”

“Well, sure.”
Puzzled, she also glanced around before meeting his gaze once more.
“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.
Maybe.” That unnerving gaze just stayed right on her.

Damn, Maddy had
nerves made of steel to be able to meet this gaze head-on and still
argue with him. Then again, Mike worshipped the ground Maddy walked
on.

Tim certainly
didn’t worship the ground that Cindy walked on.

Her little sigh
didn’t escape him and he raised one brow in silent query.

“Nothing.”
Cindy shook her head. “You said there might be a problem?” A sudden
thought occurred to her. “It’s not Maddy, is it?”

“No.”

“Of course
not.” Cindy relaxed back in the seat. “Otherwise you’d be with
her.”

He just
nodded.

“So, what’s
wrong?”

“I’m wondering
the same thing.”

“You’re
speaking in riddles, Mike. Just tell me or ask me or
something.”

Without
speaking, he squatted down beside her window and studied her with
those stoic cop eyes. “You’re Maddy’s best friend.”

“Yes.” Where
was he going with this?

“Tim’s my best
friend.”

“Yes.”
Uh-oh.

“I don’t want
either of you to get hurt.”

“I’m not
following you.”

“Yeah, you
are.”

“Mike, I
don’t-”

“Really, Cindy,
do you want to go there? With me?”

No, she didn’t,
because Mike was all-bloody seeing. “It’s not your business.” She
attempted a small smile. “No offence.”

He didn’t bat
an eyelid. “Tim went on a bender. He never goes on benders
anymore.”

Actually, in
all the pubs and clubs Cindy had seen Tim frequent, not once had he
ever gotten drunk. “Why’d he go on a bender?”

“You.”

She blinked.
“Pardon?”

“You.” His gaze
remained steady. “Since he met you, he’s on uncertain ground.”

“Uncertain
ground?” Dismay filled her. “You mean I’m driving him to
drink?”

“Only the once,
and I think that was a combination of you, his mother, and a few
other issues.”

“Oh, my God.”
She fell back against the seat and stared out the window. She’d
just left his house. “He’s probably as drunk as a skunk right
now!”

“Nope.” Mike
shook his head. “I know Tim. He won’t get drunk again.”

“How can you be
so sure?”

“I just
know.”

He sounded so
positive that she relaxed a little.

“You came from
his house,” Mike stated.

“How do you
know that?”

“Passed your
car there a little while ago while on patrol.”

“Oh.”
Considering what he was saying, she wondered what he thought about
that little event.

No, there was
no guessing, for as usual his stoic cop face was firmly in
place.

“Okay,” she
finally said. “Are you warning me off Tim? That I’m no good for
him?”

“No. I’m
telling you that loss of control is a huge thing for him. He didn’t
have control of his life when he was little, and it’s taken him
that control to cope with what life has thrown at him. Losing
it-”

“Would scare
him.” She nodded slowly. “I know.”

“You do?” Mike
was genuinely surprised.

“Yes. So if
you’re not warning me off him, what are you doing?” She met his
gaze directly.

“I’m telling
you that Tim isn’t a man to blithely hand control over to anyone.
His trust needs to be earned, and that will only be by a special
person.”

“You don’t
think I’m that person?”

“I don’t know.
Are you?”

Chapter
Seven

She stared at
him.

His cop partner
came out of the service station and walked back towards the patrol
car.

Mike
straightened, bending to peer once more through the open window at
Cindy. “I’m only telling you this because I care.”

“You do?”
Numbly, she looked at him.

“You’re Maddy’s
best friend and Tim is my best friend. Friends look out for
friends.”

She didn’t
quite know what to say, especially as thoughts were starting to
tumble haphazardly through her brain and a sinking feeling was
spiralling down through her gut.

Reaching in,
Mike patted her shoulder. “You need to talk to me or Maddy, we’re
there for you.” Straightening, he strode away.

Cindy was still
staring out through the front windshield when the patrol car pulled
out from behind her and drove past her car. Unseeingly, she stared
at the red tail lights as they disappeared into the traffic.

Oh God, what
had she done? Mike knew Tim so well. Only a special person could
win Tim’s trust, and she didn’t have a clue if she was that special
person. Sure, she liked Tim, she missed seeing him, but was there
anymore to it?

Was she a
special person to Tim?

Did she want to
be?

Would he see
her as that special person?

Well, hell,
she’d told him to call her if he decided to give his control up -
oh hell
! Oh hell, she’d done exactly what his mother had
tried to do to him all his life - take his control.

She’d blatantly
told him to call her when he was ready to give up his control. The
control he’d used to survive his cold-hearted mother’s
machinations, the control he prided himself on, the control that
was a part of him.

And she’d told
him to give it up. To call her when he was ready to give it up.

“Oh, bloody
hell,” she groaned. Now she felt like the worst woman in the world.
How could she have been egotistical enough to tell him that? She
didn’t know him, his secret thoughts, she only knew what she’d seen
recently. “Oh, bloody,
bloody
hell. Cindy, what a right
royal cock-up you’ve made of this!”

Wanting the
security of her home, she put the car into gear and drove home,
cringing inwardly.

Having
confidence was one thing, but knowing that she’d boldly told him to
do the same thing his loathed mother had tried to do all his young
life - oh, that was low.

So very,
wrongly, disgustingly low.

Pulling into
the garage, she entered the house to relieve her brother of
baby-sitting duties. It diverted her troublesome thoughts to find
Alex slouched back on the sofa with his feet up on the coffee
table, Al comfortably curled up in the crook of his neck.

“Awww.” Raising
her mobile phone, Cindy snapped a photo.

“Post that
somewhere to embarrass me and remember I know where you live,” Alex
warned her. “And I’m trained to cause grievous bodily harm.”

Laughing, Cindy
sat down beside him on the sofa. “What are you watching?”

“News.”

“All bad?”

“Is it
never?”

“True.” Leaning
back in the sofa, Cindy kicked off the stilettos and propped her
feet up beside her brother’s on the coffee table.

For several
long minutes they sat in comfortable silence before Alex finally
asked quietly, “Want to talk about it?”

“Nothing to
talk about.”

“Okay. Want to
talk about it?”

With a sigh,
she rolled her head to look at Al on his shoulder. “Have you ever
done something you thought was right, only to realise that it was
so very wrong?”

Obviously
unwilling to disturb Al, Alex looked sideways at her without moving
his head. “Yes.”

“Did you fix
it?”

“I thought I
could.”

“What did you
do?”

“Make it
worse.”

“That’s what
I’m afraid of.”

“Can I fix
whatever it is for you?”

Same protective
old Alex. She smiled. “No. It’s something I have to do. Or not
do.”

“Hmmm. Sounds
intriguing.”

“Anything but,
trust me.”

“Want some
words of wisdom?”

“Please.”

“Me, too.”

Cindy punched
him lightly in the arm and Alex laughed.

Disturbed, Al
stirred, lifting his little head and peering around sleepily.
Feeling perfectly safe, he gave Alex’s earlobe a lick, making him
cringe and Cindy giggle, and then he snuggled closer into Alex’s
neck and went back to sleep.

Life was simple
for Al. Cindy wished hers was as uncomplicated as it used to be,
before she’d met a certain handsome vet with emotional
problems.