Vicious Is The Name That They Gave Me: A Philly Story (3 page)

“Why wait? Come to find out, they’re going to be at Tiffany’s party tonight,” Kassidy advised.

“Oh, for real? Then it’s a wrap, we’re in there,” Chanelle said.

“Kareema, you’re coming right?” Retta asked me.

“I don’t know. Where will I leave Vicious?” I asked.

“Where are you going to leave Vicious? Kareema, she’s old enough to come. You’re really babying her,” Retta said. I didn’t want Vicious around the crowd that I always hung around. I didn’t want her to turn out like Chanelle and Kassidy. It’s not that I am trying to baby her, just trying to shield her. I guess she has to learn to how to be tough through fighting for survival. But I will be in her shadow to the best of my ability.

“Kassidy, what time does the party start?” Essence asked.

“At ten. I have to go find something to wear,” Kassidy stated. Kassidy would change her clothes at least five times a day.

“What’s wrong with what you have on now?” Retta asked.

“Please! I can’t go to a party in this,” Kassidy answered. There was absolutely nothing wrong with what Kassidy had on.
It was all in her head.

“Well, its eight now. I have to go find something to wear too,” Essence said. In seconds, my phone started to vibrate and it was my friend Tori calling me. I answered it.

“Hey, Tori,” I greeted her.

“Hey, Kareema, some shit just went down with Constance. You need to come over here now,” Tori informed me. Her voiced confirmed what she told me. Constance is like a little sister to me. I took her under my wing after her mother kicked her out just because, Constance’s mother boyfriend raped Constance and she told her mother. Constance’s mother didn’t believe her and kicked her out for starting drama.
Crazy shit, right? Some mothers out in this world will do anything for their niggah but not their own flesh and blood, their child. And half the time, the niggah’s are being abusive to the kids. What type of shit is that, please tell me?
For real, tell me what kind of shit is that? We live in a society where some women do not believe or do not want to believe their own kids have been abused. Half the time, some mothers are abusing their kids. And then you have the other percentage of kids lying to their parents for whatever reason. Some mothers want to defend their niggah over their own child so bad. How can you choose dick over your child? Someone explain the logic to this question, in the meantime back to Constance.

“Alright Tori, I’m on my way,” I told her. “I have to go handle something real quick. Chanelle I need a big favor,” I said turning to Chanelle.

“You know I do not like you,” she said laughing. “What’s up?” she asked jokingly.

“Let Vicious hang with you for a while,” I said.

“I didn’t wake up this morning to babysit,” Chanelle joked.

“Chanelle,” I called her name in a whining tone.

“Alright,” She accepted my favor. I turned to Vicious.

“Vicious, I have to go handle something real quick and come back,” I told her.

“Okay, I’m cool with that,” Vicious replied.

“You don’t have a choice,” Chanelle said ignorantly.

“Umm, I don’t believe I was talking to you, so stay out of my mouth,” Vicious replied arrogantly.
I need these two to get along.

“Bitch, I will…” Chanelle started.

“Chanelle,” I said stopping her in her tracks.

“No, fuck that Kareema! Tell home girl to watch her fucking mouth and we will not have any problems, period. School her real quick before you leave. Like seriously, check her ass,” Chanelle was heated.

“Nobody…”              Vicious begin to say but I cut her off as well.

“Vicious, Chanelle, can you two please get along? Chanelle, don’t make me regret this,” I told them getting up.

“Relax, Kareema. They’re going to be alright. I’m going to keep her with me,” Kassidy offered.
The last thing I want is for Vicious to hang out with Kassidy and end up like her.
If this was not important I would have stayed with Vicious. But I had to leave. I left and walked to my car.

Chapter 3

Vicious

After Kareema left, I got up and sat next to the table and ate the sunflower seeds had in my pocket.
Again, where would I go?

“So, Vicious, where are you from?” Retta asked me.

“North Philly,” I answered while eating my seeds.

“Oh, word! I know people in that area,” Retta stated.

“I don’t live too far from Broad and Lehigh,” I added.

“Yeah, Oh, alright,” Retta said.

“Are you wearing that?” Chanelle asked me.
For some odd reason I was getting a bad vibe from Chanelle. Something is not right with this girl.

“Does it matter what I wear?” I gave Chanelle the same attitude she gave me. If she did not like my response, well then she needs to change the way she talks to me. You give respect to get respect.

“Get smart with me again and see what happens,” Chanelle threatened.
Fuck Chanelle and her threats. Right about now I do not care. I am tired of people treating me like I am the scum of the earth. It’s time for me to start standing up for myself because it isn’t like my mother will.

“What are you going to do? You’re all bark and no bite,” I said. Everyone started making wooing noises.

“Shut up,” Chanelle said to everyone. “Keep playing with me little girl,” Chanelle threatened again.

“Alright, alright you two. My God, you’ve been clashing heads,” Essence said. Kareema called the house phone to see how I was doing. I really started to like Kareema. She was showing me that she cares, which was something that was difficult for my own mother to do. I wish Kareema were my mother or my sister.

“Are you all ready?” Retta asked coming out of the room.

“Yes, we are ready,” Kassidy answered. Kassidy was only sixteen. The outfit she had on made it seem like she was twenty-something.
You are too grown.

“Kassidy, you looking sexy and shit. Don’t come back pregnant now,” Essence joked.

“Don’t worry, I won’t,” she said. Kassidy has a tongue ring, a belly ring, and like ten tattoos.
Oh my God, she is too much.
We left and got into Chanelle’s Hummer. Retta sat in the front with Chanelle and I sat in the back with Kassidy and Essence.

“Vicious, have you ever been to a party before? As a matter a fact, have you ever been out the house before?” Chanelle asked laughing.

“Can you stop asking me questions? Damn,” I was fed up with Chanelle and her bullshit.

“You know what? I’m tired of your fucking ass. The only reason why I didn’t bust your head open yet is because Kareema asked me not to. But you’re talking like you’re the fuck hard, like you’re about something. Bitch, you’re just another one of Dollah’s groupie whores. You’re not shit, for real. And if you are about something, I want to see this shit, because I think you’re a punk ass bitch,” Chanelle said.

“Chanelle, stop,” Retta said. “Leave her alone!” Retta continued.

“I’ll leave her alone when she proves to me she’s Vicious. That’s when I’ll leave her alone,” Chanelle said.

“I don’t have to prove anything to you or anybody,” I said defensively.

“That’s what I thought, punk ass bitch,” Chanelle said.
I felt like reaching across to the driver’s seat and punching Chanelle in her mouth.

“Chanelle!” Retta yelled.

“What niggah?” Chanelle looked over at Retta.

“I didn’t do anything,” Chanelle said. I thought about all the times people talked down to me as if I was not anything. I thought about all the disastrous things my mother put me through. Because of her, I could not continue my high school education. Because of her, I was exposed to the life of prostitution and drugs at an early age. Because of her I have so much resentment in life. And you know what? I am tired of it. I’m tired of answering yes when I really want to say no. I’m tired of being told what to do and what not to do. I’m tired of being treated like I am a slave. I’m tired of not being able to voice my opinion. I’m tired of being weak. It is time that I start to feel strong. It is time for me to start voicing my opinion. It is time that I start making my own moves. It’s time for me to start being me. So with that being said, I thought about Chanelle’s challenge and took it.

“You know what? Bring it on,” I told her. I don’t know what she had in stored for me but I was ready for anything.
I think.
I don’t know why I felt like I had to prove myself to Chanelle but I wanted to for some reason. I felt like I was drawn into this with two options. I could decline whatever Chanelle wanted me to do and look like a punk and be labeled as weak. Or I could accept whatever it is she wanted me to do and get respect from her and her friends. If I wanted respect, it’s like I have to be down for whatever. No matter how I have been feeling since my mother kicked me out, where was I going to run to? Who could I call?
There is no one but me!

“What?” Chanelle asked. She probably didn’t think I was serious, but I was.

“Bring it on!” I said to Chanelle.

“Vicious, you don’t have to do this. Chanelle does this to everybody. She’s just messing with you,” Essence said. I didn’t care if this was Chanelle’s usual behavior. I wanted to prove something for once in my life. And I chose to prove it now.

“I got it,” I said.

“Okay,” Chanelle said. When we reached the party, Chanelle turned around and faced me, "Alright Vicious, I want to see you go pick out a dude and fuck him,” Chanelle said.

“What? No Chanelle, you’ve gone too far. She’s only fifteen. Essence said.

“So what, Kassidy did it and she was thirteen at the time. What makes her different?” Chanelle asked.

“Well, for starters, Kassidy volunteered herself,” Retta explained.

“Whatever, I handled mine,” Kassidy said. I sucked my teeth.

“Alright, bet,” I accepted Chanelle’s challenge.

“Vicious, you don’t have to do this,” Essence tried to convince me to change my mind. I wanted her to stop trying to convince me.
My mind was already made up.

“Essence, shut up!” Retta said. Essence did what she was told.

“Are you ready?” Chanelle asked and I nodded. We got out of the car and walked into the party. Essence tried so many times to get me to change my mind. I didn’t pay any attention to her. My mind was already set in motion. When we got inside, Chanelle gently pulled me into a small corner. Essence and Retta followed but Kassidy went the opposite direction.

“Alright Vicious, go ahead and do your thing,” Chanelle gave me the green light. She pointed and my eyes trailed along. I took a deep breath and walked over to where the guy was. He looked to be around twenty-five. He had a muscular body, brown skin, and dressed very well. He was sitting down looking into his phone. I took this as an opportunity to prove to Chanelle that I am in fact, Vicious.

“Excuse me, is somebody sitting here?” I asked him. He looked at me up and down.
I take it he was checking me out.

“No, you can sit here, shorty,” He said smiling. I smiled back. I was stunned. I felt him turn around towards me.

“How you doing, shorty?” he asked me.

“I’m doing good,” I replied.

“I haven’t seen you around here before. Where are you from?” he asked me.

“I’m from North Philly,” I answered.

“Oh, okay. North Philly in the house,” He cheered.

“You hype,” I joked. He laughed. I laughed with him.

“So, what’s your name gorgeous?” he flirted.

“Vicious,” I told him.

“Vicious?” he questioned.

“Yes, Vicious, and what is yours?” I asked.

“I’m C-Roc. You’re too sexy to be given a name like that. In fact, you too sexy to be sitting down here doing nothing. You should be having fun,” He suggested.
I already knew what he was hinting at and I was ready for anything.

“What should I be doing?” I asked him as if I didn’t know what he was talking about.
But I did.

“Spending some one on one time with me,” He continued to flirt with me and I continued to accept it.

“Okay. So where do you suggest we go?” I asked him. He began to look around.
I’m guessing he’s thinking of a place.

“Let’s go upstairs,” He said and I nodded. He took my hand and guided me. On our way to the room we passed a couple of his friends. I assumed they were his friends since half of them said his name.

“What’s up, Roc?” A girl greeted him while walking by.

“Hey Tiffany, where is your boo?” he asked. Tiffany stood around five foot six and dark skin. She wore red micros with brown contacts. She let out a little laugh.

“I just put his ass to sleep,” She joked. C-Roc started to laugh.

“Damn girl, you put it on him like that, huh

?” he joked.

“Do I? That niggah is hooked on this pussy,” She said. She looked over at me.

“And who is this?” she asked.

“This is my girl right here,” C-Roc stated.
Since when did I become this man’s girl? He’s tripping.

“How are you doing?” she asked me.

“Hi,” I replied back.

“Alright, well, I’ll leave you two love birds alone. See you around, Roc,” Tiffany said walking away. Once Tiffany cleared our way, we walked into a room. With the body language Roc and Tiffany gave I sensed there was something between them, like they had chemistry. Or it meant they still do, one or the other.

“You use to mess with her, didn’t you?” I wanted to ask, but decided to keep silent. I just met them. I could be wrong. C-Roc went straight to the bed and sat down.

“Why are you all the way over there? Come here. I’m not going to bite you,” he said and I walked over to him. He’s a straight up freak and I was straight up a virgin. I was in for some serious pain. He positioned me sitting on him with my legs wrapped around his waist. I’ve never kissed a boy, but I watched my mother plenty of times to know what to do. He kissed me softly. I caught on to his vibe and followed him. His lips were so soft. He tongued me. His tongue went so far in my mouth, I thought I was going to choke. He began kissing my neck. I relaxed and let him get to know my body. He pulled my shirt over my head. I did not have a flat chest, but I was working with something. My little thirty-two C cups, he sucked them like they were melons. I decided not to hold back anymore. I took off his shirt and licked all over his chest. I got up and took the rest of my clothes off. He did the same and left his boxers on. He pulled me on the bed. I was on my back.
Oh God, here we go.
I was a little scared but didn’t show it. I let my body relax. He spread my legs and ate my coochie like a hungry man.

“…………. ooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…….,” Now, I see why females make so much noise when they are being eaten out. That shit felt good as hell. I wanted him to suck me more. He sucked, bit, and tongued my vagina like there was no tomorrow. I let out moan after moan from my lungs. I knew this was nothing compared to what I was about to get. He went into his pants pocket and pulled out a condom. He took his boxers off and that’s when I showed I was scared.
That thing looked like a banana on steroids.

“What, are you scared?” He asked.
Uh, hell yea.
I didn’t answer, I remained quiet.

“Don’t be, I am not going to hurt you. I’m going to go slow,” I watched as he put the condom on. The first one could not fit all the way. He pulled out a magnum condom and slipped it on.

“Are you ready?” he asked.

“I’ve been ready,” I lied. He went inside me slow at first and pulled back out.

“Damn, you’re tight. Are you a virgin?” he asked.

“Yeah,” I said. I nodded.
The first time hurt and this time hurt. So, what if it hurts every time?
I wanted to cry. I wanted to cry so badly. “Ahhhh, ahhhh, uhhh,” I let out loudly. I didn’t know what type of sounds I was making.
I could have sworn I was speaking in tongues or a different language.
It felt like his dick was in my stomach literally. I looked down and saw he had popped my cherry; more like bust my cherry. He got up and went into the bathroom. He came back with a towel. He wiped the blood from my pussy. I thought the whole thing was over until he lifted me up. Again, my legs were wrapped around his waist. He pounded me so hard. He went in faster and faster every time and deeper. He spent most of the time pounding my pussy. He did me doggy style. He positioned me on top of him and I was beginning to cry riding him. After we were done he asked if I wanted to take a shower with him/ I accepted his offer.

He soaped me, washed me off and it felt so good. It does feel good, when a guy caters to you. I did the same. He cleaned my pussy with his soft lips. When we were done, we got out and got dressed.

“Do you have a phone?” he asked.

“Yeah,” I replied.
I was excited to know that we would talk again.

“Do you want to take my number down?” he asked. I nodded yes and he gave me his number. He began to clean up the room.
That is something new. Usually guys would not clean up after they had sex. They just leave, from what I saw with my mother.
He put everything back where it was.