Victory Lane (Shady Falls #1) (10 page)

I still held Toni’s book in my hand. The book held her personal thoughts and feelings in its pages. I thought about all of the bad and all of the good things I’ve experienced in my life. I thought about the bad this girl may have experienced. Then I thought about how I was drawn to her. Not just for her beauty but for her as a person. She was real, more real than any woman I’d ever met. This girl had a fire in her and it was obvious someone tried to snuff it out, but it was still there behind the hurt and the self-doubt. Her spirit came out the first night we met when I challenged her and I would do everything I could to continue to confront her in order to see her passion again.

“You look so deep in thought,” a familiar melodic voice cut through my musing, making me turn my head from the window.

“It’s nothin’,” I tried a smile, but I knew it looked forced.

“Look, I’m sorry about my attitude earlier. I just don’t like talkin’ about my past.”

“No worries, I get that. I’m not the most open person either.” I paused for a moment, looking down at the book again. “I noticed there are things written in your book, did you write them?” I asked. I didn’t want to push, but I wanted to know about her.

She sighed and looked down; she always seemed to have a hard time meeting my eyes. “Some of them, they’re just little thoughts that make their way into my world while I’m readin’ sometimes. Some are things I wrote, some are poems others have written. I love to read. It’s just how I deal, I guess. My therapist says readin’ is cathartic and it allows me to work through things I usually push aside.”

I watched her cringe as if she regretted what she said. I was starting to understand her a little more, but I wondered if her difficulties were from family instead of a boyfriend. She said her last relationship ended badly, but it doesn’t automatically mean abuse.

“So where’re you from?” I asked, seemingly trying to change the subject. I watched her shoulders relax and she seemed grateful I didn’t acknowledge what she just said.

“Shady Falls. It’s about an hour and a half north of Mooresville.”

“How’d you become a mechanic? Seems kind of an odd profession for a girl.”

She beamed, it was the biggest smile that I’d seen on her so far, and it was beautiful. “I blame my dad. I grew up in his garage with a bunch of mechanics around all of the time. I played with wrenches instead of dolls. He handed me my first single cylinder engine when I was ten. He’s amazing.” Her eyes lit up with affection and happiness as she talked. It was obvious those were happy memories, happy times.

Well, guess it wasn’t her father who hurt her
. The look in her eyes told me her father was the single most important person in her life. She couldn’t hide how much she cared for her father. Margie got the same look when she talked about Kyle or our mother. Love … Nothing but love. “What’s your mom think about that?” I asked.

Her smile fell some. “My mom passed when I was eight. She was a truly awesome woman though, she probably would’ve loved it ‘cause she wasn’t the girly type anyway.”

“I’m sorry, that has to have been tough. Especially growin’ up with just your father.”

She smiled and said, “It wasn’t so bad. I had Jake and Cade, and their parents. Their mom did her best to be a motherly figure. And then there were all the mechanics who just treated me like a little angel. It used to make Cade and Jake so mad. I could get away with murder and they got blamed for everythin’.”

“Do you have any pictures of your parents?” I asked. I wasn’t sure what drove me to want to see a picture of her mother, but I was curious. I almost regretted asking until I saw her light up even more. Her smile lit up her face as she pulled out her phone and scrolled through for a few moments before presenting me with a picture of what I assumed was her mother and father. She looked exactly like her mother, same face, same build, and same beauty, Toni was just taller and had darker hair. Her father was huge, at least from what I could see in this picture. Judging by Toni’s height, I was probably right. “She’s beautiful. You look just like her,” I remarked simply. I scrolled through a few more pictures and saw her with her father and one of her with Jake and Cade Hanson. They were a family, you could see the affection there, but it was familial and nothing more.

“Thanks, she was a wonderful mom. Even when she was sick and in pain, she was just incredible.” She paused for a moment; her eyes seemed misty and had a faraway look. But then she composed herself again and her grin returned. “How about you? You have family around?”

“Nope, I was created in a lab.” I looked at her sheepishly, prompting a gentle smile. “Of course. My mother is pretty great, she lives in Tennessee and I have an older sister who lives in Mooresville.”

“What about your father?”

I just shook my head. “My father took off when I was a kid. I don’t know him, and don’t care to either.”

“Please fasten your seatbelts and put your seats in their upright positions. We will be making our descent into Daytona momentarily.”

“Should we wake Kyle?” Toni asked. She didn’t ask any more about my family but that wasn’t a surprise. It wouldn’t have mattered had she tried; I had no more information about my father. I’d heard my father died several years ago and I had no connection with his family. My mom and my sister were the most important people in my world. It had been just the three of us for most of my life.

“Please, allow me.” I grinned at her and threw what was left of my ice cubes at him. He jumped and growled at me.

“What the fuck, man?”

“Time to land, asshole.”

Toni giggled. I liked the sound; it reminded me of a long time ago when I was happy and in love; before my world fell apart.

Chapter Seven

Toni

For a moment on the plane, Julius seemed like just any other guy. He was nice and seemed to be genuinely interested in getting to know me. I knew he heard my comment about a therapist, but he didn’t ask. He just kept on with the conversation, calming me. I was comfortable with him, much like I was talking to an old friend. I slipped and let a little more information out than I intended. Maybe my assumptions about him were wrong. Maybe he wasn’t some big prick.

We exited the plane and walked to a waiting car where we would be ushered off to the track. We would spend time inspecting the cars to make sure they were ready for testing. As we walked, Kyle gave me the rundown on our schedule.

“So, Toni. The guys should already be there getting everything ready. Their plane arrived a couple hours ago. We’ll go and make sure all is well, then tonight there’s a dinner with Axel and Icecore. We’re all required to attend,” Kyle said as we walked to the waiting car.

“Wait … A dinner? You didn’t say anything about a dinner. I didn’t pack anything appropriate for a dinner,” I complained as Kyle opened the door for me. I felt myself panic. I had jeans and t-shirts; that was it. I sighed, frustrated. I wished he would have warned me, I don’t have many, but I do have a few nice dresses at home. One of them would have been suitable.

“Great!” a female voice said as I climbed into the back of the SUV. “We can go shopping.” Already sitting inside was Margie, Kyle’s wife. She had a huge smile on her face as if shopping was the best news ever. “We have a few things to take care of at the track, but then we can go.”

I smiled at Margie. She reminded me a lot of Mia. She was sweet and kind, beautiful and fun. “What’re you doin’ here?” I asked.

“I usually travel when Ky travels. Figure I won’t be doin’ much travelin’ pretty soon. Once this belly gets too big, I won’t be doin’ much of anything.”

She rubbed her flat stomach for a moment and her comment finally clicked in my head. I looked at her, shocked. “You’re pregnant?”

She smiled even more hugely. “Yep, just found out about two weeks ago or so. Been dyin’ to tell someone.”

Kyle grumbled, “We said we weren’t sayin’ anything yet.”

“Well judgin’ by Jules’ lack of reaction, I’d guess he already knew.”

Jules … I like that.
He smiled at the woman and kissed her cheek. “Of course I knew. I knew right after you took the home test. He freakin’ texted me.”

“Kyle!” she shouted. She smacked him hard in the chest and scowled at him, “Dammit.”

Kyle grinned and made no apologies. “Anyway,” he stopped and sighed. His smile grew watching Margie place her hand over her stomach. “After you and the love of my life go shoppin’,” he paused kissing her hand, “we’ll meet in the lobby of the hotel. We have dinner with Axel and our main sponsor; they’re interested in meetin’ our intern.”

I nodded. I hadn’t realized I would have to go to dinner, let alone meet some executives from some big company. I wasn’t the most elegant person and I wasn’t extremely comfortable in dresses. But I guessed this was all part of being a crew chief, a part I could do without.

After going to the track and checking in with Kevin, Margie found me and to go shopping. We talked while driven to our destination.

“So, any ideas on where you wanna go?” Margie asked.

“I don’t know. I gotta be honest, I’m kinda on a budget so don’t have much to spend on a dress–”

“Oh, don’t worry. Jules and Ky said they’d take care of the dresses.”

“Margie, I don’t want anyone’s charity.” I didn’t tell her I especially didn’t want Julius buying anything for me. It made me uncomfortable.

“Honey, it ain’t charity. The company works this way. When the guys have to get suits or do anything which requires them to dress up, the company takes care of those expenses. It’s a perk built in for the team. Just wait ‘til the end of the season awards ceremony, the company buys the guys’ new suits or new accessories for suits they already have,” Margie explained. “Anyway, this is dress, shoes, hair, makeup, and the works today. This is an essential dinner for you; you’re meetin’ the team owner, Axel and the rep from Icecore, our main sponsor. They wanna make sure their investment is safe. You need to make an impression. You need to show your beauty, because you are gorgeous and can’t hide that, but you need to show them the mechanic underneath it all.”

Her comment about my beauty threw me. I’d never had someone I hardly knew tell me I was gorgeous. Then I remembered how Julius said my mother was beautiful and then said I looked just like her. Did he call me beautiful? My heart hammered and my stomach erupted with butterflies. He called me beautiful. One of the hottest men I’d ever seen told me I was beautiful. He said it in a roundabout way, but he still said it.
Holy cow, Julius Fuller thinks I’m pretty.

I hated that I had to meet the team owner and sponsor. What if I wasn’t good enough to impress these guys? What if all they saw was a girl in a dress and not a knowledgeable engineer? Would they send me packing? Would I lose my internship? Would it be the end of my career? Of everything I’ve ever worked for?

“What if I don’t impress them, Margie? What if I get tongue tied and can’t deal?”

She laughed, she actually laughed and it kind of made me angry. There was nothing funny about my mini meltdown. “Toni, relax. Seriously, you are too nervous for being so young. The sponsors like to act all big and bad like their opinions matter, but the reality is they don’t know shit about cars or racing. The only people you need to impress are Ky and Axel, believe me, you’ve impressed Kyle. You have nothin’ to worry about—I promise.”

Okay, I can talk to Axel. He could ask me questions and I’d be able to answer them.
I hope he doesn’t ask anything I can’t handle
… I had to calm the hell down. I could handle this. I just needed to be comfortable.

“All right,” she said and directed the driver to the stores she wanted to check out. “This is gonna be fun,” she said with a huge smile on her face.

We drove for what seemed like forever. Margie kept the conversation going by asking all the normal questions. How did I become a mechanic? How hard had it been working with all guys for all these years? Did I ever want to do anything else? Then the question I never wanted to answer came up. Why was being single so bizarre to people? I didn’t want to blow her off as I did with Kyle, but I didn’t want to tell her everything either. For some reason I found myself unable to ignore her or give her the standard ‘I’m not interested in dating’ answer. I didn’t know if it was because she reminded me so much of Mia, or if it was the need to just open up to someone after my tumultuous morning and then the flight.

“I just don’t date anymore. Dating just isn’t worth it,” I told her. I waited to see if she would fish for information or if she would just leave it be.

“Why? What happened?” she asked.

I sighed at the idea of reliving the experience. But the one thing I’ve learned from Dr. Mathews was that time will heal and you must purge yourself of your demons in order to move on. Maybe it was time to purge a few of those demons and try to go forward instead of living in a perpetual standstill.

Sucking in a deep breath, I thought about how I wanted to present this to her, but then I realized it was best to just put some of it out there. I would give her a little information and skim over or ignore the parts I don’t want to talk about.

“I wasn’t the most outgoing girl in high school,” I began. The words just rolled out of me as I continued. “I mean, I had Jake and Cade and my friend Mia, and I was happy. I started junior year auto mechanics classes and gained some more friends there too. But I wasn’t one who frequently went out or hung around waitin’ to be noticed. You know high school, girls walkin’ around in short skirts and tight shirts, arrogant guys, parties, and drinkin’. That stuff just wasn’t me.” I paused for a breath, thinking about the past. I liked my life before Todd. I was completely content with who I was and didn’t care about what other kids thought. And then
he
walked into my life. “When this guy brought his car into shop for us to work on and he paid attention to me, I was shocked. Jake and Cade didn’t like him, but I didn’t pay attention to them. I thought they were just being overprotective. By the summer after eleventh grade, we were dating. Everything was good at first, but it didn’t take long to go …
really
bad …” I told her some basics, but I wasn’t willing to go into it all. I told her about how he talked to me and how he was rough with me, but nothing more. I just wasn’t ready to let it all out, but it felt good to let her in a little. But even just the little I told her, made her tear up.

“Oh my goodness, Toni,” was all she said before pulling me into her arms and giving me a big hug. “You haven’t dated since, have you?”

“No, not really. I mean I’ve hung out in groups a few times, but nothing more. It’s hard sometimes. The good thing is I’ve had Jake and Cade to help me and give me strength after coming here.”

“Can I tell you something?” she asked. She gave me a big smile, her brown eyes lit up with an understanding that I’d never seen from anyone before. “You will move on and you will be stronger than you ever were. I think you’re already on your way.”

“How can you be so sure?” I asked quietly.

She smiled again, “Because I’ve been there. When I was in college I had a bad time with my boyfriend. He was cruel and vicious. My brother found out. There had been rumors floatin’ around and he got wind of them. He came to my school one day and confronted my boyfriend. My brother saved me, just like your surrogate brothers saved you.”

“Sounds like you have an amazin’ brother,” I said. I didn’t need to ask how he saved her or what he did. If he was anything like the twins, then he did everything he could to help her. I wondered if I would ever meet the brother that rescued his sister from the depths of hell.

“Jules
is
pretty fantastic,” she said with a smile.

I looked at her shocked. I never imagined Julius Fuller was her brother. They looked so different on the surface. But then I thought about Julius’ face and looked at Margie. They did resemble one another. “Julius is your brother?”

Her face lit up. The affection she had for him was evident. “Yep, Jules is my little brother.”

Wow!
I didn’t say anything. I was just surprised to learn that this group was all connected way beyond friendship and business. They were a family. And I’d been dropped right in the middle of them. I hoped I never said anything derogatory about Julius to her. I wracked my brain, trying to find some instance that I could have said something bad about him to her, but I didn’t think I ever did.

“Toni, you’ll find your way. And when you least expect it you’ll meet a man who helps you heal and trust again. Ky did that for me. Ky helped me accept that it wasn’t my fault. Just like what happened to you wasn’t your fault.

“When Jules asked me to come to North Carolina to visit him, I didn’t hesitate. I was going to see my brother and to get away from our little town in Tennessee for a while. I knew his best friend Kyle from when we were kids, but meeting him again as an adult, I was almost immediately smitten.” The smile on her face spread when she talked about Kyle. She giggled a little, “He was relentless. But over time, he proved to me that he was a good guy. He treated me with respect and he was patient. After I reconnected with Ky, I never went back home other than to visit my mom.”

“How long have the two of you been married?” I asked, curious about the dynamics of this family.

“Ky and I have been married for almost five years now and I wouldn’t change one moment.”

Her happiness gave me hope. Maybe I could also find that one single person to heal me. I just hoped I wouldn’t miss it because I was too afraid.

We pulled in front of a boutique and Margie smiled. “We’re here. Let’s go find something fabulous to knock the guys speechless.”

~oOo~

Four hours later, after dresses, hair, and makeup, Margie and I walked into the lobby of the hotel. Her blond pixie cut was perfectly styled and her brown eyes shown bright against her dark eye shadow. Her flowing black dress was longer in the back and shorter in the front with long lace sleeves. The top of the dress stretched straight across her collar and then plunged halfway down her back. The shape of the dress accented her thin waist and her shapely legs. She was also wearing a pair of high-heeled red peep toe shoes. She was gorgeous.

The dress Margie picked out for me was much more form fitting and revealing than hers was. It made me incredibly uncomfortable, but Margie insisted it was perfect. Margie even took pictures of me in the dress to send to Mia since I didn’t believe Margie or the sales clerk, or anyone else in the store for that matter. The dress was ruby red and silky. It came down to just above my knees and the top had a square cut neckline showing just a peak of cleavage, but still more than I was used to showing. Margie and Mia agreed the dress was perfect for my curvy figure, as if it was made just for me. I loved the bright red of the dress. It was a nice color against my tan complexion and dark hair. At Margie’s insistence, I wore a pair of black heels which made me tower over her much smaller frame. I felt too tall around most women, but with the shoes on, I’d be lucky if I didn’t tower over most men too. But when I put the shoes on and perused the image in front of me, I was amazed. I don’t think I’d ever seen myself like this before. With my hair fixed, hanging in ringlets down my back, makeup, the dress, the shoes, I could finally see my mother. I actually felt … pretty.