Villainess (20 page)

“That’s not what I mean and you know it.”

“I know. But even if it was possible for you to escape, you need to be treated first. Otherwise you’re a ticking time bomb.”

“Tick, tick, tick… Aren’t you worried I’m going to blow you to smithereens?”

“Absolutely.”

Leila

I knew he wouldn’t outright help me escape, but I supposed I had to try. Jonah, despite his actions with our sexual encounters, was a good man. He was someone who would act. He wouldn’t merely remain complacent when he could do something to help someone.
Even someone like me.

I froze in place, staring at him. I let my gaze drift down his body and then back up again, stopping to study his face. He really was beautiful, every inch of his six-foot-something, lithe, sinewy body, covered by dark chocolate skin, was utter perfection. But he wasn’t just beautiful because of the way he looked. He was beautiful on the inside too. He’d wanted to help me from the beginning…save me.
He’s exactly the kind of person you could make into a hero.

I quickly stuffed that notion aside as soon as it sprang to life. I wasn’t sure anymore if the urge to create heroes was mine, or planted there.
What difference does it make? It’s a noble cause. This world needs heroes and I’m just the villainess to create them.
No, I had to worry about saving my own ass at the moment. I’d figure out the rest later.

I strolled over to the butterfly paintings on Jonah’s wall. That’s all they’d ever be to me, butterflies. They somehow seemed significant, like if I could figure out why they captivated me, I’d have the answers I sought. “Is today the day you tell me what it means that I see butterflies?”

“Today I think it means you want to fly away, to be free.”

I snorted. “I could have figured that part out myself.” I danced my fingers gingerly over the glass, leaving prints behind. “But maybe it’s the simple truth.” I closed my eyes and imagined I was a butterfly. I would flit from flower to flower without a care in the world. I pictured Jonah as a butterfly, gliding along on a warm summer breeze right beside me. I opened my eyes, swaying into Jonah. He wrapped his arms around me for support.

“Don’t you think it would be divine, to be a butterfly?”

He chuckled. “I don’t know, I’ve never thought about it.” His fingertips trailed down my bare arms, eliciting goose bumps. “But I suppose, if you were a butterfly too, then it couldn’t be all bad.”

I turned in his arms, pressing my cheek against his firm chest. “She’s probably watching, you know. This isn’t exactly normal interaction between a doctor and his patient.”

“You’re so much more than a patient, you know that, right?”

I tilted my head up, meeting his dark chocolate gaze. I inhaled his spicy scent, wanting to drown in it. I’d loved Theo, but I’d never really felt safe with him, at least not in the way that Jonah made me feel when I was surrounded by him.
If you care about Jonah in any real way, then you need to cut him loose. Don’t ruin him
. I didn’t want to let him go though, ever. I pressed myself into him harder. “I don’t deserve you.” And that was the truth. I didn’t deserve a man like Jonah, but I’d take him regardless.

“I’m an adult, Leila. I make my own decisions. I decide who and what I deserve. Not you.” He kissed the top of my head and pulled away. The loss of his touch left me feeling bereft.
I’m so fucking needy today.
I didn’t like needing anything but myself.

“Yeah, whatever. So now that your plan to sex me up during our pretend session has been messed up, and my real session is tonight…” I flopped on the couch. “What now?”

“We can still talk. Is there anything you want to discuss about what we’ve uncovered from your past? How does it make you feel to know that your actions might not be your own?”

I waved my hand at him. “It’s pointless to talk about any of that. I don’t know what’s real and what’s not in my past. I mean, how much was tampered with? If I really think about it—it might drive me insane. I think it’s best to leave it alone for now.” I skewed my gaze over to take in Jonah’s scowl. “I take it you don’t agree?”

“Not really. But I’ve learned I can’t force you to talk about things you don’t want to.”

“Do you think—do you think the memories I have about my parents are real?” I wrung my hands together. I wasn’t sure if I wanted them to be or not. So much of what happened in my childhood shaped who I was as an adult, but what if none of it had been real? I didn’t know if I should feel relieved or not. Either way, everything
felt
real. I’d suffered on some level, and a part of me wanted it to be real so I didn’t suffer for nothing. But then another part of me hoped none of it was real, because then the guilt of not saving my parent’s wasn’t either.

“We’ll find out. The more time Kristoph has with you the more about your real past we’ll be able to unlock.”

“What about the fail-safe stuff that he was talking about. I don’t want to get sick every time we have a hypnosis session.”

“I’m sorry, Leila, but there’s a very real possibility that you will get sick every time Kristoph hits a fail-safe. It’s part of your conditioning. But the good news is that once we push past those blocks you’ll be fine.”

“It just could take a while for that, huh?”

“Hopefully not because it’s not like we have a whole lot of time. The court wants your diagnosis ASAP.”

“Mmmm… None of that seems relevant anymore somehow. Or it seems so far removed. I don’t know.” I nibbled my bottom lip, Jonah’s tangy flavor still there from our kisses earlier. Or maybe I just wanted it to be so it felt like I had a piece of him with me.

I pushed my thighs together, rubbing them for friction. I may have gotten off, but it’d been with my hand and it’d merely taken the edge off. I was still horny as hell and I wanted Jonah inside me. My pulse beat a staccato rhythm between my legs.

Jonah groaned. “Fuck. I don’t know what you’re doing to me.”

I bit my lip and smiled. “Whatever it is, you’re doing it to me too. I wish we hadn’t been interrupted before.”

“Understatement of the year.” Jonah’s gaze pierced me, causing my blood to burn hotter.

“Can’t you do something? I don’t know, put a shirt over the camera?” I let my legs fall open in blatant invitation.

“I can’t. Ella will…”

“Ella won’t do anything or she already would have by now. Please, Jonah. I need you now.” I wasn’t sure why I felt the need to push him, but I did. I wanted him to prove to me that he couldn’t resist me, that he was mine however and whenever I wanted, consequences be damned. I knew for sure in that moment, no matter what had been done to my mind, I wasn’t good for Jonah. I knew I should push him away. It wasn’t like I wasn’t aware of what I was doing to him.
I should let him go. But I won’t, because I’m selfish.

“Fuck me, Jonah. Fuck me now,” I purred, arching my back up off of the couch.

He stood abruptly, shoving his chair back with enough force that it rolled across the room and slammed into the wall. His eyes blazed with desire for me as he tugged his tie off from around his neck.

I grinned, knowing I was about to get what I wanted.

Jonah

A sort of haze had fallen down over my mind. All I wanted—all I needed was Leila. I flung my suit jacket over the camera, not caring what Ella would think anymore. Leila was right, if she was going to do something she would have already. As long as I didn’t give her definitive proof everything would be fine.
No. Everything won’t be fine until you’re buried balls deep inside Leila.
The battle had waged, and I’d lost to lust…want…need.
Looks like Freud knew more than I thought he did
. I’d never scoff at Freudians again.

I stalked towards Leila, palming my erection through my pants as I stared down at her. She flipped over on her stomach, wiggling her ass at me, daring me to take her. Her eyes glinted with satisfaction, but I didn’t care. She’d won, but I was still going to enjoy the spoils of our battle.

I yanked her pants down, exposing her pink flesh to me. I groaned when I saw how wet she already was. I crawled onto the couch behind her, kicking her legs apart with my knees. My dick throbbed painfully. I kneaded her ass with one hand as I unbuckled my pants with the other. She undulated her hips, her body begging me to fuck her. I was more than happy to oblige. I slammed into her and pulled out immediately, only to do it again. There wasn’t going to be any slow build this time. I wanted to brand her, let her know who she belonged to. Leila said she wanted to own me, and she already did.
It’s time for me to show her that she belongs to me just as much.

“Jonah, yes…” Her words were lost in a series of moans. Moans that grew louder and stronger as I pounded into her. Soon she was quaking around me, milking my own release. I dropped down over her, my front covering her back as I pulsed into her, groaning. When we were both spent, I used my weight to force her flat underneath me. I kissed the back of her neck, nipping gently.

“You’re kinda crushing me,” she muttered.

I chuckled in response, not caring. I buried my nose in her hair, curling my arms underneath her, rocking my hips gently, which if I kept up, I’d be hard again in no time.
I really have lost my mind. Or she stole it.
I wasn’t really sure which.

“Seriously, I need to breathe.” She bucked underneath me.

“Feels like you’re breathing just fine.”

She grunted and settled down. Her heart pounded steadily, the sound lulling me, my eyes sliding shut.

“Jonah, up.” I awoke to Leila bucking underneath me again. “Someone’s at the door.”

I peeled myself off of her, our skin sticking together from dried sweat, amongst other things. I pulled my clothes on quickly, saddened as Leila pulled hers on as well, covering up her flawless body.

“I can’t believe we fell asleep.” My eyes were gritty, and I desperately needed to rehydrate, but I felt satiated on a level I couldn’t quite put my finger on.

“How pissed do you think she’ll be?”

How pissed would Ella be? She had no proof of what was going on, but I was sure my office smelled like sex, mine and Leila’s scents mingled together. If she’d really wanted to though, she could have had the master key brought to her.
She probably doesn’t want to really know.
“Hard to say.”

I strode toward the door, extra bounce within every step. But instead of Ella on the other side of the door, Matt’s large frame filled the space, his face mottled with anger. “What’s going on in here?”

I clenched my jaw, glaring at him. Before I could utter one word of rebuttal, Leila pushed around me. “That’s none of your business.”

Matt snagged her arm, pulling her into his side. “What the hell is going on?” he hissed.

Unable to stop myself, I grabbed Matt’s hand, forcing him off of Leila. “Don’t touch her like that.”

Matt ground his teeth together, his eyes flaring with anger. “What you really mean is, don’t touch her at all, yeah? Isn’t that right Doctor Yoshihara? Don’t touch her because—”