Villainess (21 page)

“Hey, hey, hey!” Leila waved her hands in front of our faces. “Whatever this is, stop it.” She slid her arm into Matt’s and tugged. “I want to go back to my room now.”

Mike was standing a few feet away, his eyes wide with confusion and suspicion. “Matt? You okay?”

Mike’s voice snapped Matt’s expression back to normal, probably reminding him that he didn’t want anyone to know about him and Leila. I was a different case since his actions said he all but had confirmation of what was going on between her and myself. Matt and I were at a sort of stalemate, but Mike wasn’t involved. “Yeah, fine. I’ve been pulling some double shifts lately, and I’m just tired.” He delivered me one last lingering look, one filled with barely contained rage, before leading Leila off.

I shook my head as I watched Leila leave with him, raw jealousy spiking my system.
I never asked her if she was still fucking him. I’ll kill him if he lays one finger on her ever again
. I stalked back into my office and slammed the door.
She’s playing me for a fool, I just know it.
I thought back to how I felt when I was inside of her, and how blissful it’d been to fall asleep with her afterwards.
I may be a fool for her, but I’m enjoying every second of it. Shit. What’s happening to me?
I didn’t even feel like myself anymore. Leila had changed me in ways, me—a psychiatrist—couldn’t even understand. It was more than Florence Nightingale effect. It was more than pheromones and sexual attraction. It was as if she’d crawled into me and claimed my mind and heart for hers—owning me, just like she’d said she wanted.

And I’m helpless to do anything about it
. Maybe she really was some kind of villainess, and I’d just become her latest minion. Someone who’d throw themselves into the fire just for another taste of her. Because I would. I’d do almost anything for more of her—all of her. I wanted all of her. Every last piece.

I pulled out the mailing tube from my briefcase, carefully unrolling the painting. I trailed a shaky hand over the watercolor representation of Leila. I traced the cruel twist of her full lips, imagining them wrapped around my cock. I stared into her cold eyes, remembering how they really appeared when she looked up the line of my body, pinning me with her gaze as she pleasured me with her mouth. I’d just had her, and I needed her again.

Fuck. I’m so fucked
.

Leila

As soon as Matt got me back to my room, he shoved me inside, addressing Mike. “Hey, can you go grab some bottles of water? Leila’s dehydrated.”

I smiled demurely. “I am. Completely parched.” Mike narrowed his eyes, nodding reluctantly as he shuffled off to fill my order.

Matt slammed the door behind us. “You can’t tell me that you’re not fucking him. I know you are!” he roared.

“Yeah, so what if I am?”

He punched the wall beside my head, leaning into me. “Is that the real reason you were all cold towards me last night? You’re getting your kicks with him now?”

I crossed my arms over my chest and glared up at him defiantly. “What? Did you think we were in some kind of twisted relationship? I was fucking you and now I’m fucking him.”

Matt’s chest heaved, his face flushed, and sweat trickled down his temples. Even with how pissed he was, I knew it’d be so easy to calm him down. All I’d need to do is give him a little piece. And as easy as that would be, I refused to use sex in that way. It had benefited me to be with him before, and now it didn’t. It was my choice. It was always my choice. I wasn’t going to let Matt’s anger force my hand. I resented him for making me even consider it for a second. “Back off, Matt. This whole jealousy thing isn’t exactly a turn on.” At least not coming from him. Jonah had the market cornered on making the green-eyed monster sexy.

“Ha! Yeah, okay. That’s what’s turning you off.” He slid his knuckles over my cheekbone, the action tender and completely in contrast to the palpable fury rolling off of him in waves. “I could be so good to you. Wasn’t I already? Just let me remind you.” He dipped his head to kiss me and I turned my head.

“No.”

Matt shoved off the wall, his muscles rippling as he tried to contain his anger. “No? Just like that?”

“Yeah, just like that.” I sighed. “Besides, Mike will back any minute. You wouldn’t want to get caught, would you?”

“I don’t know if I care anymore,” he muttered, stalking towards the door. “This isn’t over, by the way. We’re going to have this out later.”

“I have another session with Jonah tonight.”

He laughed darkly. “Jonah now, is it? How…familiar.” I didn’t mention that I’d been calling him Jonah a lot longer than I’d been fucking him. Apparently Matt was only just now noticing, his jealousy causing him to pay attention to even the smallest details that he thought were tells of the relationship. “Are you even doing any work now or are you just fucking him into submission—like you did me?”

“You’ve been there for the hypnotherapy…you know we’re doing real work.”

“Before or after he gets his rocks off?”

“I’m done with this conversation.”

Matt turned to pierce me with his gaze once more. “This is serious, Leila. Your life is on the line. They could sentence you to death.”

I smirked. “What would be the fun in playing if the stakes weren’t so high?”

“It is, isn’t it? All a game to you? Boy, did you have me fooled.” He slammed the door behind him, the lock clicking into place a second later.

“Guess I’m not getting that water, huh?”

I didn’t know why I’d had the urge to antagonize Matt, but once it hit me, I was powerless to resist fulfilling my own whims, even if they were self-sabotaging. Matt had been in my corner, a good thing, and in one fell swoop I’d managed to alienate him completely.
Dumb move
.

“Come here,” Theo rasped as he tugged me across the bed by my ankles. “I missed you.” He slid me under him, his weight pushing me down into the mattress.

I pressed my hands into his chest, studying his face. He meant it. Sometimes I got the feeling that he didn’t, or wished he didn’t, both nearly the same thing.
This time he means it
. I smiled, curling my fingers into his hair. “I missed you too.” I more than missed him. I loved him. But he didn’t seem like the type of guy to say that at all, especially not first.

“Mmm… Yeah? What did you miss?” His long fingers slid into my panties, crooking inside of me. I moaned.

“This.” I circled my hips. “You. Everything.” I sucked on the exposed skin of his neck and he buried his face in my hair, inhaling deeply.

“Fuck, if you don’t make me want this for real,” he murmured into my flesh.

Confusion washed over me. What was he talking about—for real? What we had couldn’t get any more real. We’d killed people together. Theo knew things about me that I’d never shared with anyone before. We were more than lovers. We were accomplices.

My mind blanked when he finally plunged into me, the familiar burn of him stretching me to the limit stealing all of my focus. “So good,” I moaned.

“Too good,” Theo rumbled. “Too fuckin’ good to be real.”

I sat up in bed, gasping. One part of my dream memory stood out at me. The part where Theo kept saying it wasn’t real. He’d all but told me what was happening between us was all a lie, and yet I’d never picked up on it. How could I? I was being drugged and brainwashed. Still, I should have known something was up, at least beyond the idle musing or random thought that Theo usually literally fucked out of me. He’d used sex against me, and here I was doing the same thing to Matt…and maybe even Jonah. It was as if I’d become Theo in some way, picked up where he’d left off when I’d killed him. I wanted what was between Jonah and me to be real but I didn’t quite believe it. I simply
wanted
to believe it. Not the same thing at all.

I glanced at the tiny clock on my nightstand, knowing that it was almost time for my session with Jonah. It wouldn’t be as pleasant as my afternoon with him. Tonight I’d be drugged again, and taken back into parts of my past that I had no recollections of. What other bombs would be dropped on me? I was terrified to find out. The only thing keeping me propelling forward was my need for answers. My mind was keeping secrets from me, and I had to have that information to survive. If I didn’t know what kind of trips and ticking time bombs were inside my head, I was destined to set them off.
I have to know
.

My door creaked open, revealing none other than Jonah himself. I was surprised. “Where’s Matt?”

“I don’t know. He disappeared.”

Or quit
. It seemed I’d pushed him over the edge, or…

“No. I won’t do it. I won’t do that to her.” A gun was pressed to his temple, the man holding it unseen.

“You will, or I’ll shoot you right here and now. I can, you know. Your death will be nothing to me.”

“I won’t do that to her. I can’t.” The gun cracked into his temple, and Matt fell forward, barely catching himself with his forearms. He blinked rapidly, trying to stay conscious as blood trickled down his face.

“Why are you so loyal? Tell me! Why? She doesn’t even want you anymore. You’re willing to die for her—for what? Tell me!”

“I love her.”

“You sure?” The barrel of the gun pressed into the center of his forehead. “Last chance. Her or you. Choose now.”

“Her.”

Bits of blood, skull and brain exploded across the pavement, Matt’s body crumpling to the ground.

“Fool.”

I shook my head and hugged myself, a chill running up my spine. I’d had the vision before. Somehow I’d almost forgotten. Or maybe I’d hoped that by pushing Matt away like I did, I’d save his life.
I’m not all bad. At least not yet.
But instead of saving him, it would seem that I actually caused the vision to come true. Or at least I think I did. Maybe if he hadn’t been so angry before—no. I can’t let myself think about that. The more pressing dilemma was who the hell killed Matt and why? What had they wanted him to do to me that he’d refused?
Or maybe I am all bad… Hadn’t I known that Matt would sacrifice everything for me? I’d been smug with the knowledge that he would die for me.
I shook my head.
What changed? Why do I feel guilty now?

“Matt won’t be back,” I whispered. “He’s dead.”

Jonah startled, his mouth falling slightly ajar. “How do you know?”

I tapped my temple. “Vision. But we’ll talk more in your office. I have a feeling it has to do with what’s locked away in my head.” I grabbed his hand, squeezing. “I don’t want you to die for me too.” My emotions were all over the place and sometimes lately I felt like I wasn’t even the same person from minute to minute. Except with Jonah. Things never wavered for me with him.

He squeezed my hand back. “I won’t. I’ll be careful. Matt didn’t know what he was dealing with.”

True. In Matt’s case, ignorance was definitely not bliss. “I want you to promise to walk away if it gets too dangerous.”

“No, that’s a promise I won’t make.” He tugged me along and I stumbled to keep up with him.

I was afraid he’d say that.