Vindicate (22 page)

“You really do think deep,” I mumbled.

“And you don’t, my Scorpio friend?” she asked, tilting her head to the side. “What plagues your thoughts?”

“Right now?” I said, raising my eyebrows. “
How to bring Landen back to me.
Drake back.”

“And before that?”

“
Honestly?
Finding you. Ending this dimension’s misery.”

She turned her finger in front of her, mocking a wheel. “A hamster in a wheel – r unning really fast in circles. N
o dire ction. N
o idea what you are doing.”

“I’d rather be running than standing still…listen…I think your thoughts have depth, and another time I would have debated them with you endlessly, but right now I can’t focus on them.
”

Why was everyone throwing philosophy at me? I’m a little bit too distract right now to learn from it.

“Do you see now why I don’t want to fall in love ? W
hy I don’t want the clarity of my mind to be overthrown with the fear of losing love?”

Where did that statement come from?
“That is a miserable way to see love . S
oul mates make you stronger. You don’t stand alone in the darkness with them at your side.”

“Yet, you’re standing alone now . Y
ou had to come for us just to fight your way to them…
bet you’ve been fighting for love since your first breath.”

“You’re right,” I said, not feeling ashamed of it.

“You know what happens when you fall in love?” she asked.

“I think I do,” I said, raising my eyebrows She rolled her eyes at me before she spoke. “When you fall in love, you focus everything – all of your energy on one person . E
ventually, you b egin to pull from that person. Y
ou’re pulling because you cut yourself off from every source of energy that sustained you before that point – and before long, you have placed yourself in the weakest position you could imagine.”

“Being in love is not weak. I t’s empowering,” I maintained .

She moved her head side-to-side.
“How crazy would it be to think that the one weapon we have – love – the most powerful thing in all of energy – is also our weakness. You have been purposely distracted …
running in circles, making sacrifices of the heart, and all the while the evil creeps closer. T
he evil is feeding, and y ou have laid a feast before it. Y
ou stopped finding energy from the universe – and only pull from Landen, s o when he is gone – you’re gone. T
hat is defeat.”

All right, lets debate this.
“And what do you suppose I do? Stop fighting for love. F
or Landen? Walk away from Drake ? T
his dimension? You would not ask me to do that if you had felt love like that . Purpose like that. W
e are not meant to be alone.”

“I’m not telling you to stop fighting for anyone or anything.
I’m telling you t o wake up.
” Her sin flushed.
“
Stop giving the darkness every reason to take Landen from you . T
o hurt these people…
I may not be able to ‘see ’ you – dance in your thoughts, but I can see your energy.
I can see the d amage you have done to yourself. You’re tired . Weak. I f I had to guess, I would say that in the beginning you were just dodging what made you unique, and when you were forced to face it – you fel l into the ‘poor me’ syndrome. Y
es, you had your moments of strength . O
nes I’m sure I would admire if I could see them, but now – now you’re lost . Y
ou have allowed this place . T
his evil to take over your life .” She glanced to the aura around me. “
I see the energy of others around you…people who have tried to lead, follow – love you, but you are blocking them. Y
ou don’t trust anyone, including yourself…and that is not going to win you any victories in The R
ealm . O
r this world, for that matter.”

Can we say reality check? How did she know all of that?
“All true, I suppose…but under all that, I just wanted peace.”

“Yet you never asked why . N
ever tried to perceive the unknown . Y
ou just kept working though what was in front of you – not taking a moment to see the big picture…you never asked the question, so you never found the answer . Q
uit asking ‘why me’ and star t asking what can I do to help. W
hat can I do in this universe to move humanity forward? W
hat action needs to be taken – and if you think loving Landen – finding someone to love Drake is your answer…
well then, I think this dimension should prepare for infinite dark days – because you are blind.”

It was like watching the reflection in the mirror scorn you.
“Do you know how hard it is for me to tell you that I agree with you?” I mumbled.

“I do,” she said as her eyes glistened with accomplishment. “Blind obedience is hard to overcome…I wish you the best of luck with that.”

“And if you were me – just how would you go about doing that?” I asked as I tried to grasp her point of view.

She stared at me for a moment or two without expression, then she leaned forward. “Ask a lot of questions…”

“I can ask questions . Not a problem.
I already do that and only get answers that are later proven wrong – or worse, I begin to fight or fear something that is l a ter proven to be insignificant.” I glanced up at the gray sky. “
M
y soul wants to free this dimension from the darkness that has encased it for eternity .
I almost wish you could see me – see the dreams Lan den and I have for this place. W
hat we know it could be.”

“How long have you been here?” she asked.

“This is not my home. M
y home is Chara.”

“How long have you been in Chara?” she asked, sighing with frustration.

“The end of August.”

“Three months. B
efore August, did you conceive that our home was the only world? Would you have believed in the string –other dimensions?”

“I think I would have .
I helped images my entire life that led m e to other parts of the world. O
ther dimensions.”

“And if you were ‘normal,’
would you believe in this place?” I didn’t answer her. “Do you still help images?” she asked.

I le t out a frustrated breath.
Did her and August have a conference about me or something? Seriously, he would love this girl.
“No. T
he last one to come was Stella.”

“Don’t you find that odd? That you stopped helping people the moment you found Landen?”

Here we go again.
“I started helping people in front of me. I t’s not my fault they stopped coming.”

“Is it not? Did you close that door – to focus on Landen and Drake?”

“Whatever,” I mumbled; trying not to believe that was true.

“Whatever. Real mature. L
ook, you may have learned a lot in the last few months, but y ou forgot what you already knew.
I don’t think it’s a farfetched idea for you to realize that this world may be an illusion. A t the very least a distraction . A distraction from the core of the prob lem – that, I believe, lies in The Realm.
”

“Right, so show me how to get there so I can ‘fix’ it, then move on.”

“Move on to what?” she asked curiously.

“Peace. Calm. Home.
Chara.”

“So you have chosen to put a Band-Aid on this world, then go home and what – plant a garden – have a few kids and grow old?”

“Sounds nice.”
Really nice. Add in a few blank canvases and I’d be set.

“Not to me,” she said smugly.

“If you commit to fight – you will always fight. F
rom what I’m told, your thoughts lead your future,” I countered.

“I’m not choosing to fight. I’m choosing to be a lifelong student . T
o dive deeper and deeper into consciousness . T
o r emove the veil before my eyes. F
ind truth in my existence.”

“And how do you plan to do that alone? Do you plan to chase this ambition without anyone at your side?”

“Whoever wa nts to be at my side is welcome.
I will not stop Charlie, the others, or even you from coming with me, but I will not be complacent – wrap myself in the idea that my life will end if my heart is broken.
I will not broadcast my weakness.”

Oh, I was weak now. I see. Twirl your ring, Willow, I told myself.
“I’ve never broadcasted anything . F
rom day one, I was placed between Landen and Drake. Told to choose. T
old that I must face all of these trials. W
ith only the hope that in the end there would b e peace. N
ot only for me, but my family, this world.”

She took in a deep breath. “Do you realize that we have been waiti ng on you for over a year now. T
hat Austin had been trying to catch up with Landen and tell him about the damned we saved – the whispers that torment our thoughts? C
harlie almost went to Montana. W
ent to find you and Landen, but she held back because she didn’t wa nt to rain on your fairy tale. A few weeks ago, we went to Chara – I felt Landen’s grief the moment we stepped into that vision – felt the lost confusion of everyone there. I thought to myself , ‘They will never come for us. T
hey will never come because they are spinning in place…they have been captured by t he darkness that is chasing us.’
”

“I did come for you.”

“When you neede d something. W
hen you had no choice.”

Maybe I should tell her that I argued until I was blue in the face that she existed. No, that probably would not help Drake’s case.
“The re is a reason for everything. A reason Austin never found a way to talk to Landen. Y
ou can’t blame me for not looking for someone that I didn’t know needed me.”

“You blocked us, and there is no telling who else you’ve blocked . P
ower of attraction . Y
ou di dn’t want to find anyone. Y
ou wanted to stay at home and grow old,” she said shortly.

She really wanted to fight with me. Didn’t she.
“Excuse me ?! Y
ou ’re blaming me for what ? N
ot ‘attracting’ you to me?”

“Yeah.
I am . D
o you even know what the power of attraction is? It’s the idea that we bring what we want into our lives though our emotions – our thoughts – you were not seeking us because you were not thinking of anyone beyond your family. I f you w ere asking ‘why’ from day one you would be further than you are . M
aybe even with less heartache . W
ith more people fighting on your side.”

“Fine.
I’m sorry .
I was running in circles .
I didn’t ask why . D
idn’t conceive the idea that the universe could be any more insan e than I have already seen it. S
orry . Very sorry,” I bit with a harsh edge.
“What’s done is done . You are here now. A nd like it or not – you will vindicate me . Now that you are here I will ask why every day . W
hy I didn’t argue louder that you existed.”

A sly grin came across her face. “There you go again . A fter everything I’ve said, yo u are still focusing on Drake. D
o you think he doesn’t know I exist? You think that he has never looked into my eyes?”

Focused on Drake? I was focused on Landen. But whatever. I’d be her martyr.
I deserved that.
“Not in reality. A nd he doesn’t trust his dreams.”

“He trusts them enough to believe in you.”
her words were as sharp as daggers. This girl was not my biggest fan. And I couldn’t blame her for feeling that way. She was actually holding it together far better than I would have.

I moved my head from side to side. “If you only knew what they have done to him . T
he kind of life he has led,” I argued.

“You don’t know what I know, and I’m not in the mood to tell you.”
she bit back as her near murderous stare bored into me.

“Are you always like this? Or is someone else already in your heart? Are you in the mood to tell me about Britain?”

“How dare you,” she said through her teeth as she stood to leave the room.
Ah , so that was it. Britain.
She wasn’t mad at me or Drake. She was mad at herself. She didn’t trust her dreams to be true, and now her heart and soul were divided. Triangles bring out the worst in us. No doubt there.

I did n’t even have to think about it. M
y energy reached out for hers and pulled her back down. I watched calmly as she struggle d against the hold I had on her.
I could see the rage building in her eyes.
It kinda made me smile on the inside. She may have had the most powerful speech in the universe in her corner. But I had vindication in mine.