“She’s in more danger if we let her go,” Maxime said.
“Why? How?” David asked.
“You can answer that yourself. Besides Matthew’s plans, the other communities also act on opportunities.”
“So we keep her here, still in danger, and endanger everyone else?”
“I’m working on the outcome of all of this,” Maxime said in a tired voice.
“Talk to her. She might have an idea or at least a bit more common sense than you. You act before seeing a plan through!”
“First of all, she doesn’t know what we’re talking about. Secondly, you should apologize,” Maxime said.
I stood outside the door, fighting every urge to barge right through and demand some answers.
“Why should I apologize to you? Since when are you so emotional?” David said irritated.
“No, you should apologize to Alex.”
My heart flourished as Maxime defended me. On the other hand, it was really weird.
“Why? She’s not even here—”
“Come in, Alex,” Maxime interrupted.
My heart raced. I knew I wasn’t supposed to eavesdrop, but how could I not? I took a deep breath and pushed the door open, embarrassed again. “What time is it?” I muttered as I fixed my eyes to the floor.
“Lunch will start in no more than five minutes. You should head over there now. No need to go see Will; I’ve already talked to him. And don’t forget to drink some water,” Maxime said in a concerned voice.
I nodded, then closed the door and left. All the way back to camp, I couldn’t help but wonder what they were talking about. David had said that I wasn’t safe here, but I didn’t know what he’d meant. If I was in danger here, would I be safe anywhere? I had started to trust Maxime, but that was as far as my confidence in anyone went. Matthew had kept everything from me. On the other hand, I desperately wanted to fit in somewhere. I couldn’t stop thinking about their argument, but I didn’t want to demand answers.
To my surprise, I wasn’t the first at the long tables. I sat down in front of the filtered water pitcher and poured a glass. I gulped the water down, then served myself a second, then third, then fourth, and then finally a fifth glass. I was extremely thirsty.
As more people came, the food was served. Sam sat next to me and asked if I was all right. I nodded and thanked him for his concern. It was a relief that no one else asked if I was okay.
Marc sat beside me. He was one of the younger soldiers in his twenties with dark, black hair similar to mine. He introduced himself very professionally with a strong handshake, but he also beamed with a sense of warmth. After a few minutes of slow and mundane conversation, he started to tell me about his fiancée and how excited he was to be engaged.
“I proposed almost two months ago. She’s beautiful; you’ll have to meet her. We’ve known each other for what seems like forever. God, I wish this war were over so I could spend my days with her. Do you have a girlfriend, Alex?” His voice was overflowing with passion.
“Um . . . no . . .” I looked away. I sat up straight with my shoulders back as a form of reassurance that I was fitting in and acting like a boy.
When everyone finished eating, my group cleared the table, then ran off to get our hunting gear. We met at the clearing where Maxime had taught me earlier. We split up into smaller groups. Nick announced that he would go with Sam, Tim, and I. Nick always seemed to know exactly what to do; it was like having a wise mentor lead you around.
Although I loved archery, I never appreciated hunting. The thought of killing a defenseless animal sent shivers down my spine, even if it was a case of survival.
To my relief, Mike, George, Tim, and Nick caught dinner, so I didn’t have to. I watched them carry the lifeless animals across their backs, with patches of bloodstained fur and black, marble eyes glaring at me. I kept looking away.
As we had time before dinner, I returned to the same tree as the previous day and practiced shooting arrows. I notched an arrow on the bowstring, positioned my feet, set my head, and brought my bow up to eye level. I took a deep breath, pulled back to my anchor point, aimed, and released. The arrow landed an inch above my target. I repeated the same process, and the second arrow went slightly left. The third ended up a bit over to the right. I started to get frustrated.
“You’re not relaxing your bow arm, so you’re gripping the bow last minute, which causes the arrow to kick in the direction you pull the bow,” Maxime said from behind. “Here, let me help you.”
I notched another arrow and pulled it back. As soon as I reached my anchor point, I felt his warm hands rest on my shoulders. He whispered, “Release,” and his breath danced lightly on my neck. All of my muscles went weak, and the arrow flew out from the bow and dug into the center of my target. By the time I had inhaled enough courage to face him, he had disappeared into the woods.
Suddenly, David came storming up to me. He spoke to the ground, “I’m sorry.” Then he left. I figured that Maxime had forced him into apologizing. I still felt insecure around David. What bothered me the most was his grudging attitude, and I promised myself that I would at least try to change it.
It was getting darker sooner, indicating that winter was on its way. I had always loved the soft snow that muffled my steps, but I never truly appreciated the cold or the forced gratefulness during the holidays that had lost their meaning decades ago.
The blue sky was becoming a light purple as the sun set, making everything look pink, peaceful, and calming. The dinner bell broke the gentle spell, but the delectable smell from the long tables near the bonfire seemed to be a fair compromise. I quickly sat down.
I ate and drank, listening to everyone’s conversations while observing them. As usual, no one spoke to Maxime, and he left the table early. He appeared to be the loneliest person I had ever met, even lonelier than I.
After dinner, I quickly changed and lay on my bed. I tried to analyze what had been happening, what Maxime had told David but couldn’t tell me. As my joy shifted to thoughts of Maxime, I felt the need to suppress his image in my mind, but it had already been engraved. I couldn’t quite make out what attracted me to him, but he was so peculiar. Mystery surrounded him like a thick cloud. He was extroverted, yet extremely secretive, and he treated me differently from anyone else. There was a caring touch that came with a protective trait. Maxime gave me a feeling of belonging and fitting in that I had always wanted to feel. It was like an addiction, a drug, but one without consequences, one with nothing but the feeling of soaring.
Maxime was leaning against a tree across from my cabin. As I stepped into the early morning, I felt the elegant shadows stretch across my face from the sun’s light. “How do you get up so early?” I said softly, afraid to wake anyone else.
He grinned. “You’ll get used to it. Come, I want to show you something.” He took my hand delicately, making my emotions rush, and signaled to be silent as we headed deeper into the forest.
We stopped in the middle of nowhere, and he let go of my hand. He whistled a soft tune that triggered a memory of Lyli, but I suppressed it as a magnificent, black horse trotted up to us. Her toned muscles reflected her strength as she stood with her head up high with dignity. I had never seen such a beautiful creature before. Horses were rare at Tamizeh, but even this one would have stood out with pride and beauty.
Maxime stroked between her deep, black eyes. “This is Storm. She’s yours. Most people at The Shadows have a horse. We don’t have stables. They roam free around the camp, always within hearing range. They don’t need to be fed, and they respond to simple tunes. We rarely use saddles, but we have some if you would like. Just whistle when you need her and she’ll come. Keep in mind that she may not always be near, but she’s fast and very attentive. She’s very well tamed and careful, but fierce. She doesn’t like snow and loves to be ridden. She’s one of the fastest here. What do you think?” Maxime spoke with the excitement of a nine-year-old child on Christmas morning.
“I don’t know what to say! She’s magnificent. How . . . what . . . thank you!” I stroked her soft nostrils. I couldn’t find the right words to express my gratitude.
“Okay, now get on. That’s not even the surprise,” he said with a radiant smile.
I didn’t know what to expect. I had just been given an amazing horse and was told that it wasn’t the surprise. I grabbed Storm’s mane with one hand, then pushed up and pulled myself onto her, throwing my right leg across her large back. I sat upright and looked at Maxime.
“You do know how to ride, right?” Maxime asked. I nodded. “Do you want a saddle?”
“I’m all right,” I said, bursting with joy and excitement.
He whistled a similar tune and we waited, looking around, eager for his horse to arrive.We heard movement in the bushes and then a majestic, white horse stepped out of the forest.
“This is Mist,” Maxime said as he ran his hand through his steed’s thick mane. Then he mounted her and exclaimed, “Let’s go!”
I followed him on Storm, her strong legs carrying me through the forest. Maxime looked back every couple of minutes to make sure I was still behind him. I smiled as the sun’s rays chased us.
Maxime came to a halt on top of a hill. As I looked down, I was in utter amazement, witnessing the most unbelievable spectacle, like a dream. The sun gently stretched its rays across a lake beneath us. The water shimmered in the light, and the dark night became a golden sky. The sun slowly lit every tree, one by one, as if giving life to every organism for a brand new day. The obscure night was swept away, and the shining day rose from nothingness. I was breathless as my eyes widened, attempting to capture every piece of the painting, to hold onto the glimpses as memories.
“Nothing like Tamizeh, right?” Maxime’s tender voice danced in the wind.
“Nothing like it. There is some greenery there, even a few parks, but it’s mostly buildings and technology scattered everywhere. Here, it’s . . . peaceful.” I let my thoughts flow without realizing I was freely speaking about my community. I quickly felt ashamed of being a part of such a terrible society and quieted down. I wanted to be a part of The Shadows, where people admired differences and nature instead of destroying it.
“We should start heading back now or we’ll be late,” interrupted Maxime. My eyes were still glued to the beauty of the scene, and I nodded without blinking, dumbfounded.
We quickly rode down the hill and back to a clearing. As we walked back, Maxime asked what I had thought of the sunrise.
“It was amazing! I’ve never seen anything like it.”
“I’m glad you enjoyed it. I’ve never shown it to anyone else for a couple of reasons. Having lived here their whole lives, I’m sure everyone has seen it before. I also don’t think they would appreciate it as much. I have to say, it’s nice to have someone to share it with. Every time David has seen it on our way back from Maria, he’s ignored it as if it were nothing.”
There was this moment of awkwardness, as if he had said something personal and wasn’t sure if he regretted it. I had never shared anything with anyone before, so spending time with Maxime was like having an older brother to talk to and learn from. I liked being around Maxime. We seemed to connect.
“Would you like to move up to the more advanced classes?” Maxime asked.
“Sure, but what do I have to do?” I questioned.
“Nothing much. Follow me,” Maxime stated.
He took me to the clearing where we’d trained before the sun was up. David was already there, holding a staff in his right hand. He was scowling, and it was obvious that I wasn’t welcomed.
“You have to be kidding!” exclaimed David as he rolled his eyes.
“Don’t be too confident,” responded Maxime with a grin as he picked up a staff that had been leaning against a tree. He threw it to me, and I caught it with my left hand. My stomach plummeted as I realized that I was supposed to fight David. Not only was I afraid to really hurt him, but I was also scared of losing control and not knowing what to do or how to really defend myself.
“The rules are simple: stop when one’s down, when there is dangerous play, when one is injured, or when I simply tell you to,” explained Maxime.
“What if I hurt her?” David laughed.
“Don’t underestimate her,” replied Maxime as he winked at me with encouragement. I couldn’t back down now.
David quickly lunged and hit my stomach with the tip of his staff. I backed up, and he hit my left arm, followed by my right. He raised his staff and brought it down hard and fast. I blocked with my staff, keeping it from striking my head. He jabbed my chest with the back of his stick. I lost my breath and balance, but caught myself on a tree. David didn’t wait a moment and came darting toward me. I ducked, and his staff hit the tree right above my head. He lost his balance, so I caught his arm to stop his fall. He tried to hit the left side of my face, but I caught his staff with mine. He then attempted to strike my head again, but I swept my staff upward, hitting his chin and sending him flying. I put the end of my staff against his neck to indicate that I had won. He dropped his stick and put his hands up, surrendering. I took a few steps back and tried to help him up, but he avoided me.