Authors: Trish Jackson
Chapter 41
“What?”
“I didn’t mean to do it and it’s haunted me all my life.” Billy’s voice broke. “I know it was an accident, but I can’t shake the guilt. I never will.”
“What happened?” Lexie slid her arm around his shoulders.
“I was six years old. My dad had left his shotgun leaning against the wall in the bedroom as he often did. He had taught me not to touch it, and never to point any gun at anyone. But being the dumb little kid I was, I picked it up and carried it. I was gonna give it to my mom so she could put it away. Well, I tripped and fell and the gun went off. When I picked myself up my mom had a red stain across her chest.
“No one ever blamed me, but it’s never gone away. The pain of losing her and of knowing it was my fault.”
“That’s the cause—the thing that eventually led to you being locked up?” Lexie asked.
Billy stared at her face. She didn’t seem to be too fazed by it. He had never talked about it to anyone before and he was worried that she might hate him for it. He realized he’d been holding his breath, and it was a relief to let it out.
“In a roundabout way, it probably is the reason I was locked up. I guess you could say I grew up to be a troubled kid, and when I was thirteen, I did some stupid things. It plagues me even today.
“It just shows Dockery didn’t do any background checks. If he had known I’d been in lock-up, he wouldn’t have chosen me. I wonder what he would have found if he had checked the others.”
Trip showed up, carrying the shovel. The dude had had his fill of exercise for the day. He must be fit for an older guy.
“Any thoughts about where we should bury her?” he said. “Faith is needed back in camp and I can’t carry her body back on my own.”
Lexie stood, dusted the seat of her jeans with her hands, and glanced around. “How about there, beside that big tree? It would be easier to find the grave again if we remembered it’s beside the biggest tree around.” She glanced down at Billy and he nodded his approval, and then held out his hand for her to help him up. He felt like he was gonna pass out for a few seconds, but he managed to hold it together. He leaned on Lexie and they followed Trip, who started to dig.
“As long as there’s not too much rock, this should be okay,” Trip grunted.
Billy and Lexie sat on the grass and Jake, who was understandably traumatized, sat beside Lexie, his body touching hers for comfort. He was staring at Trip and his hackles were standing up, and Billy wondered what Trip had done to him. After a long time, Billy said, “Let me take a turn and you can rest.” He held out his hand for the shovel.
“Don’t be a fool,” Lexie told him. “I’ll do some digging. You rest that knee.” Billy tried to protest, but his leg was seriously painful and he dropped back onto the grass. He hated to let a woman do that kind of work, but had to admit to himself it was a relief. The digging was hard work, and Lexie didn’t seem to be making much progress when Trip took over from her again. His hand closed on hers when he grabbed the shovel and she jumped and twisted away. “Don’t touch me,” Billy heard her say quietly, then she glanced back at him. He stared at Trip with narrowed eyes.
I sink down beside Billy and wipe the sweat off my face with my shirt. I’m sweating all over and I wish I could have a drink of water.
“I don’t blame you for hating him so much, but you’re so afraid of him,” Billy says quietly. “It’s time you got over that. You’re not a kid now. He can’t hurt you if you don’t let him.”
“I think we’re ready,” Trip says. “I’ll probably need some help with the body.”
I shiver at the thought of having to pick Sam’s body up, but Billy can’t do it and I know he’ll try if I let him. “You take her legs and I’ll hold her shoulders,” Trip says.
Sam is surprisingly heavy, and by the time we get to the grave site I’m breathing real hard. We can’t set her gently in the hole. We have to let her fall in. It’s not right, but we have no choice. Trip starts to cover her. I offer to help, but he says he can do it. I scout around for something to use to mark her grave. She was so good at marking the other graves it seems particularly important for me to do something for hers.
I find a couple of fallen branches and bring them over. There’s nothing I can use to tie them together to make a cross, so in the end we stick the two of them beside one another.
“I’ll make a cross and come back tomorrow,” Billy says. “You should say something.”
“Me? Why me?”
“Go on, Lexie.” Trip is obviously weary, and his clothes are soaked in sweat.
I stand up and move to the head of the grave and bow my head. I clear my throat. “I’m so sorry I didn’t get to know you better, Sam.” I glance over to Billy and he nods in approval.
“I don’t know the twenty-third or any other psalm by heart. Do either of you guys?”
Billy and Trip both shake their heads.
I take a couple of breaths and try to clear my mind. I do the best I can with the phrasing, then end with, “I can’t remember any more than that, so God, please take care of her.” I bow my head. “She was a good person and she didn’t deserve this. Nobody did. Amen.”
The others echo with “Amen.” I hope God doesn’t think badly of me because as I say that I want to add, “Except Trip. Because he sure as hell does deserve to die.”
Only now that I scan around me do I realize that the sky is painted with bright reds and oranges, and soon it will begin to fade to deep purple, and the night insects will start to buzz around us.
I realize we don’t have a flashlight and I hope we won’t be thought of as prey by a leopard or other predator or whoever is killing us off, one by one.
Chapter 42
Billy watched Trip head away from them until he was swallowed up by the long grass and bushes.
Lexie blew out a long breath. “I thought he was gonna do something to hurt you, It would have been the perfect time, with you being hardly able to walk.”
“Maybe he’s not
all
bad, Lex. Everyone has to have
some
goodness in them.”
“Not him. He’s pure evil. He’s probably too tired right now. Please promise me you’ll watch your back.”
“Come on, let’s go,” he said. “Help me up, and I’m gonna have to lean on your shoulder.”
It was long after dark by the time they made it into camp.
“You should sit,” Lexie said. “I’ll get us some water. Jake’s bowl is almost empty too and he’s licking the bottom.”
Billy was glad to oblige. He held onto her while he sank down onto one of the logs. He couldn’t bend his knee it was so swollen. He had to stick the leg out in front of him. The pain was killing him, and it had taken all his control not to complain about it on the long walk home. Lexie had given him support though. He didn’t know what he would have done without her. She had said maybe she would marry him. Maybe wasn’t “yes,” but it was a start.
He heard her talking to someone inside the shelter. It must be Jared.
The others were a short distance away near the water bags. He could hear the mumble of their voices but not the words.
Lexie came stomping out of the shelter. “One of the cameras is gone,” she said. “It was outside the shelter hooked to the charger, and that’s gone too.”
Billy cocked an eyebrow at Rodriguez.
“Hey, whoa. No. No, it wasn’t me. I don’t know anything about a camera. I mean, yeah I was the only one in camp, but why would I hide the camera?”
Lexie had her hands on her hips and she glared at Rodriguez. Then she turned to Trip and opened her mouth to say something, seemed to change her mind, and headed back into the shelter.
It hurt like hell for Billy to bend his knee, and he wondered if anything was broken, or if it was just the ligaments that were damaged. He rubbed his shoulder. He had scrapes and bruises all over him but it was amazing he wasn’t more badly injured considering the tumble he had taken down that hillside. It had seemed like it was happening in slow motion as he fell and bumped into rocks on his way down and bounced off them. All he could think about at the time was that Lexie was okay. It was such a relief when he heard her calling him.
Rodriguez stared at Billy for a few seconds. “You believe me about the camera, right? I don’t even remember seeing it out there.”
Billy shook his head. “I know. You wouldn’t have any reason to move it. It’s probably around here some place. Maybe someone moved it into a sunnier spot so the charger would work better. Something like that, anyhow.” He grunted and drew his leg up with his hands.
“You look like you made out better than Jared,” Rodriguez said. “I can see it hurts, though. Did Maria give you anything for the pain?” He shook his head. “This is bad, man. I don’t know what to think. I feel so helpless.” He turned and stirred something in a pot on the fire.
It didn’t smell all that great, but Billy realized now that he was hungry.
“What’s cooking?” He hadn’t asked for any pain medication because he had checked the first-aid kit previously and he knew it was not well-stocked. Dockery had probably planned to bring a paramedic with him, who would come with extra supplies. They would need a medic in a game like this.
Rodriguez didn’t turn around. “Corn, and some sort of weed. I’m not the best cook in the world, but I guess they needed Faith to help the wounded. I wish I could have caught more birds, but I think they got spooked yesterday. Any news of Dockery?”
“No,” Billy said. “Jared was able to connect with the pilot’s office, but his call either broke up too badly or the woman who answered the phone didn’t understand what he was saying.”
“And let me guess. The phone is history.”
The sweet smell of pipe tobacco told Billy Trip had come back and was standing behind him in his usual place, leaning against the big tree a little way from the fire. “It’s strange the way Dockery just abandoned us,” he said.
Rodriguez stood up and stretched his shoulders. “You got that right. Does anyone know what happened to the cell phone?”
“No,” Billy said. “Lexie searched for it while we waited for Trip, but there are so many rocks. It’s like a field of rocks.”
Lexie came back and handed Billy his mug. He drank it all down and held it out for more.
“Jared’s in the shelter,” she said. “The morphine’s keeping him sedated. Maria has bandaged his feet and she says she tried to straighten them out as best she could and put disinfectant on them. It’s just as well Lela’s the one who broke her arm. She’s been through a lot of pain before and she seems to be able to handle it. She refused to take the Ibuprofen at first, because she said Jared will be needing it, but Maria persuaded her to take some before she set the bone. You should take some too. You don’t look good.”
“What about Stretch?”
“Maria says he might have a broken right collarbone on top of the arm that was dislocated. Either way, he won’t be able to do much with that arm for a while.”
“How long do you think they’ll be?” Rodriguez asked. “The food is ready.”
“Good. I’m starved,” Lexie said. “I’ll go check on them and bring our plates.” She made out as if she had forgotten about the camera, but Billy knew she hadn’t. He needed the painkillers but he didn’t want Jared to have to go without, and there was no way of knowing how long they would be stuck out here.
Lela walked slowly to the fire, Maria and Faith on either side of her. Her arm was bandaged and tied tight against her chest. Stretch had grazes and cuts all down the right side of his face. His arm was also in a sling, made of parachute silk.
“Do you think Jared will eat?” Rodriguez asked.
Faith went into the shelter and came back a few minutes later. “I’ll feed him,” she said. “Here’s his plate.”
After he had eaten the meagre meal, Billy asked Lexie to help him up, and get him to Jared. “Hey, how’re you doing, bro?”
He couldn’t see Jared’s face in the shadows.
“I’ll be okay,” Jared said. “But I don’t know if my feet can be saved.” His voice broke a little and Billy knew he was close to tears. He clenched Jared’s hand.
“You have to stay strong, bro. We’ll get help for you and you’ll be okay. Just stay strong.”
When he turned to go back to the fire, he noticed tears glistening on Lexie’s cheek.
She helped him down on his place on the log. “I hate to see you and Jared like this. And the others. It’s been such a horrible day, and the Old Man—I don’t know what to think about him.” Jake thrust his nose under her hand and she rubbed his ears. “Yeah. He abandoned you and all of us, boy. And I told myself I was done crying like a baby.” She swiped at the tears angrily.
Stretch said, “What are we gonna do? My wounds will heal, but—”
Lexie shushed him then lowered her voice. “He can hear you,” she said, pointing at the shelter.
Stretch nodded and spoke quietly. “Any ideas, anyone?”
“Someone has to go for help,” Trip said.
He was right. Billy knew he was right, but he was afraid Lexie would volunteer, so he kept quiet. He knew how frightened she was of wild animals, not to mention ‘the monster.’
“I can go,” Trip said. “Why don’t you come with me, Lexie? Maybe the mutt will sniff out the other people, if there are any in this godforsaken place.” He banged his pipe on his shoe to loosen the ashes.
“That would leave only Faith, Maria, and maybe Rodriguez to help Jared get around and also to haul water, to get food, and to chop wood,” Billy said. “I could help some, but it would take me all day to get to the creek and back.”
Everyone stared at the two women and Rodriguez. Billy held Lexie close.
“I should go,” Lexie said. “On my own. Trip is needed to get food and haul water. Maria and Faith can help the injured, but they don’t know where to find food. Nor do I. Rodriguez may or may not be able to catch more birds, but you can’t rely on that. I have Jake and I can take care of myself.”
“Don’t be a fool,” Billy said, “You’re terrified of being alone in the boondocks. How are you gonna find help? You’ll have to sleep in the dark with wild animals and whatever roaming around. How are you gonna handle that? And what about food for you?” His chest had constricted and he was finding it hard to breathe.
Lexie glanced at Faith. She was sitting very still and it was obvious that Lexie could see she had no intention of volunteering. And Faith didn’t have Jake.
“I know I’m not the best person, but someone has to go and Trip is needed around here.”
“No, Lexie. Trip should go. Alone. You and I can help around here. Together we can do all the stuff that’s necessary.”
Lexie shot a glance at Billy. “I have Jake. Nobody else has a dog, and I know he would protect me. He’ll also be able to help me find other people.”
“I’ll go, but only if you come with me, Lexie,” Trip said.
Billy snorted. “That’s just pure selfishness, you sick fuck. You don’t give a shit what happens to Jared, or anyone else around here. Just forget it then. I’ll figure out another way.”
“I don’t appreciate that accusation,” Trip said. “Lexie and I would be able to get help quicker than anyone else.” He moved closer to Billy.
Billy pushed himself up onto his feet.
Lexie put a restraining hand on his arm and pushed herself between him and Trip. “Get away from him,” she said through gritted teeth.
Jake let out a low growl and bared his teeth in a snarl.
Trip stepped back. “Keep that mutt away from me or I swear I’ll kick it.”
Glaring at Trip, Lexie grabbed Jake’s collar and dragged him backward.
He glanced down at Jake, who was still growling and snarling, and stepped backward, his hands up, palms toward the dog. “Okay. I’m moving away. Just keep him under control.”
Billy and Lexie stayed by the fire to take the first watch. Maria had bandaged his knee, and it felt a little better with the support, but it still hurt real bad.
“I don’t believe in coincidence,” Billy said under his breath. “That asshole Trip searched for you, found you, and came on this show to get close to you because he knew you wouldn’t be able to get away from him.”
Lexie was quiet for a few moments. “Do you really think so?”
Billy pulled her close to him. She felt so soft and warm and he just wanted to be close to her forever. “I know it. You have to stand up to him, Lex. It’s the only way you’ll ever be free of him. He’ll keep finding ways to get close to you and who knows what he’ll do to you if he gets you alone and you give in to him”
She leaned into his shoulder. “I’m so scared he’s gonna try to hurt you. You don’t know how terrifying it was . . . when he came into my room.” He could hear her breathing heavily. She was reliving the moment.
“It’s okay,” he whispered and kissed her head. “You don’t have to think about it now.”
Billy dragged her face onto his chest and stroked her hair.
She sucked in a sob. “He was always there. Always wanting to do it and I was trapped.”
“And all that time your aunt did nothing?”
“I only told her one time when it first started. She said I was talking nonsense and I was a bad girl and should have my mouth washed out with soap. Then he said he would kill Aunt Jess if I told her or anyone else. I believed him, but I think she must have known something. I don’t know what happened between Aunt Jess and him, but I will never forget that day he was gone. I wanted to ask her where he was, but I couldn’t bring myself to talk about him. She never spoke about it, and he never came back. I remember lying in bed those nights waiting as I had for so many years, bracing myself. Eventually I would fall asleep only to wake up again and listen for those hated footfalls.
“Then I heard he had been identified as the man who had been accused of molesting a girl, and he was arrested. He was also the prime suspect in the disappearance of another eight-year-old girl, but he had skipped town before the cops could charge him. Her body was found after that, and the cops suspected he was the one who had murdered her, and more than likely molested her.
“He must have been hiding from the law out here in Africa, and he used the time to have plastic surgery and become Trip Varnes. He was probably trying to find a way to get to me, but when he found out about the show, he saw his opportunity. Is that possible?”
“Why didn’t you report him then, when you heard about him being arrested?” Billy asked. “You could have been a witness for that other kid.”
Lexie hesitated for a moment before answering. “I don’t think anyone who has never been through something like that could ever understand the . . . the fear and the self-loathing. I told you I had PTSD. I was diagnosed with it, and I took Zoloft pills like they were M&Ms. I couldn’t talk about it to anyone, and I sure wouldn’t ever be able to talk about it in public. I’m only telling you because . . . because he’s here now and I need you to understand.”
“I’ll take over from you guys now,” Faith said. “You must be tired.” She was standing behind them and Billy wondered how much she had heard. “You need to get some rest with that leg.”
He held his hand out and Lexie pulled him up. It took all his will power not to shout out in agony, but he couldn’t let her see how much it hurt.
Jared appeared to be asleep. Lexie helped Billy to bed and lay down beside him. He heard the dog scratch around and settle in his spot under them.