Authors: Trish Jackson
Chapter 34
We sit around in camp for half the morning, afraid we’ll miss Old Man Dockery if we go anywhere.
It’s probably around noon when Billy taps me on my shoulder. “We need food. I’m gonna go catch some fish. I reckon I’ll have a swim, too. You coming?”
It’s real hot and sweat trickles down the inside of my shirt. It would be nice to wash again, or even to swim in the cool of that water.
Mark is sitting beside me. “Go,” he says. “I’ll be sure to come get you if the Old Man shows up.”
Trip has overheard us. “I’ll go back to that deserted village and see if I can get some vegetables. Anyone coming?” He stares at me.
I hug myself. All I can see is Andy and Kelli lying there dead with a skeleton between them. “Ugh.”
“I’ll go with you,” Lela says. “I’m not afraid of ghosts.” She stares pointedly at Sam.
“I’m not scared either. I’m coming.”
Stretch has decided to stay in camp, so the three of us head down the now familiar pathway toward the creek. Jared walks in front and I’m in the middle with my backpack slung over my shoulders, with Billy taking up the rear. Jake trots beside me as always.
Billy tickles the back of my neck with a stem of grass and I swat at it. He laughs. “Got ya,” he says, but in the fleeting glance behind me I see something flare in his eyes. Passion and desire.
Jake charges into the bushes after a rabbit and after a few minutes we hear it cry and know he’s managed to catch it.
“He got it. Fucking dog got the rabbit,” Jared yells.
We let him eat it. His food is almost completely depleted.
“That dog won’t starve when his Kibbles are all gone,” Jared says.
When we reach the creek, Jared strips off his clothes and leaps into the pool. I watch the whiteness of his skin through the water as he surfaces, and he breaks through, grinning. “This is awesome,” he yells. “Come on.” He strikes out toward the rocks in the center.
Billy is staring at me with one eyebrow raised.
Everything suddenly seems to catch up with me. “If the Old Man had come we would be on our way home by now. It seems all wrong that we’re out here swimming and having fun when people are dying all around us. And Trip is gonna come after me, Billy. He’ll do whatever it takes to get you out of the way. The only reason he hasn’t done anything yet is because of Eve and Andy and Kelli dying, and having to bury them and everything, and he didn’t get a chance, but he will—and what if he hurts you or even worse, what if he kills you? I couldn’t bear it if he did something to hurt you.”
I drop into the grass and sit cross-legged. I fight back the tears. I don’t want to be a baby and cry again. I pick a straw of grass and chew on it. I avoid Billy’s eyes.
He sits down beside me and puts his arm around my shoulders. “Lexie, I promise you I won’t let that sick asshole hurt you again and if he is the killer, he won’t get me. I’ll be ready for him if he tries anything, and I can take care of myself.” He pauses. “Anyhow, I thought dudes who mess around with little girls didn’t like grown up women.”
“They don’t usually, but . . . it’s like he thinks he owns me.”
“I still don’t get it. Why would a full-grown man want to rape a kid of five? It’s too fucking sick.”
I swallow hard. “He didn’t only do it then.”
Billy stares at me with a furrowed brow. “You mean, when you were older, too?”
I sigh and I can’t stop the tears now. “He did it again. Don’t you see? He did it again and again and again for seven years. Whenever he felt like it. I was trapped in that house with him for seven fucking years,” I yell. “I was a kid. I lived with Aunt Jess. He lived with us and he said he would kill her if I told her.”
“Oh fuck, Lexie. I’m sorry. I don’t know what to say.” He pecks my cheek and licks away the tears, and then he holds me close to him and stokes my hair and holds me like that until I stop crying.
“You gonna be okay?” he says.
“Yes,” I sniff. “It was a long time ago, and I’ve been in therapy for a bunch of years now.”
I don’t tell him about how I’ve become so dependent on Zoloft. Jared is still splashing around somewhere in the middle of the pool. “I think I’d like to swim now.”
Billy moves away and strips off his clothing, throws it on the grass, and smashes into the water, wetting me with the spray. I go behind a bush to take off my clothes. I hesitate before I strip off my bra and panties and run and jump in. Billy swims strongly toward me. I try to escape, but he grabs me and drags me toward him.
All of a sudden I get that tingly sensation. His face is close to mine and I watch his mouth come down on mine. The feel of it gives me an electric shock and I hear myself moan. He breaks the kiss and turns me and wraps his arms around me and holds me tight from behind. His hard body pressing up against me makes me gasp.
His hands slide over both breasts and his breathing quickens. He pushes his tongue into my ear and I melt into him. “If he wasn’t here I wouldn’t be able to stop,” he whispers. “I want you so bad,” he pants. “It’s like a fire that’s burning up inside me.”
“I want you too,” I whisper, and put my hands over his hands. “Let’s go someplace private.” He’s trembling now and I want him. I want to feel all of him.
“Yes, please.” Billy leads me through the water towards the bank. He stops to kiss me again, deep and long, and his hand slides down between my legs. We get to the shallows and he takes my hand and leads me up the bank and into a private copse behind some thick bushes.
I sink to the grass and savor his mouth hot on mine. It slides down to my breasts and he takes a nipple into his teeth. I want to scream with the beautiful agony of it. Every nerve end in my body is screaming for more. I have never desired anything more in my entire life.
He slides his tongue down my body and does things I never dreamed could bring so much—so many waves of pleasure to me, and then he’s inside me and we move together. I want what we’re doing to keep going on forever but I feel him jerk and quiver, hear his soft whisper. “Oh God, oh God.”
My heart is beating so fast I can hear it in my head. We lie there on the grass for a while.
“Hey. You guys,” Jared yells. “Someone’s coming.”
We jump up and retrieve our clothes and hastily dress. Jared is doing the same.
“There you are,” Stretch says. “I decided to come anyways since I’m the only one who hasn’t bathed.”
He stares at us and I wonder if anything shows on our faces. My lips are bruised and I know my hair is messed, but it’s probably always messed.
Reality comes back with a jolt. “The Old Man didn’t come, did he?” I ask.
“Not yet.” Stretch is stripping off his clothes. “You caught any fish yet?”
“Haven’t tried,” Billy says with a cocky wink at me.
Jared has put on his shorts and he’s busying himself with the fishing gear.
“We can fish upstream, so you’re good,” he says to Stretch.
That evening we eat fish again. Faith has cooked more of the wild mushrooms, and Trip found more corn and a green vegetable that looks like a weed.
Mark crouches by my side and whispers in my ear, “After we’ve eaten we need to talk in private. I have something to show you. Something I caught on camera without realizing it.” He glances across at Trip and then moves off and sits on the log a little way away from me.
The food tastes good but the rice is running out, and it’s not enough, and I lick my plate so I can get every grain. I set the plate down on the ground and stare into the fire, wondering what Mark wants to show me. Billy sits real close beside me, the warmth of his body reminding me of my passion each time he moves. In his eyes I see longing and desire flaring up. His hands tremble when he strokes my leg and I try to act normal even though my breath is coming faster and my heart is pounding.
Suddenly Mark doubles over and lets out a loud moan.
I leap to my feet, me and everyone else, and I rush to his side.
“What is it?” I grip his shoulder, trying to get him to lean back.
A gurgling sound comes from his throat. He throws up, then pitches forward onto the ground and almost into the fire. Billy grabs his arm and drags him a safe distance away. He lays Mark on his back, presses his fingers to his throat to search for a pulse, then straddles him, and starts pressing on his chest with the heels of both hands, trying to revive him.
I, together with everyone else, stand and watch in shocked silence.
Billy pauses to check for a pulse again and redoubles his efforts. “Come on, Mark. Don’t give up on me.”
After what seems an age, Billy stops and sighs. His shoulders are slumped when he seeks me out and stares into my face.
Chapter 35
“No,” I hear myself say as if in a tunnel. “No. Not Mark. You can’t let Mark die. He has a family.” I’m yelling now.
Billy slowly closes Mark’s eyes and stands up, his jaw tight. The shocked silence lasts another few moments before everyone starts talking at once.
Billy puts an arm around me and pulls me close. “I’m sorry, Lexie. I did everything I could.” His voice is broken.
I bury my head in his chest and weep, only vaguely aware of him stroking my hair and talking softly. An attack is coming on. I’m shaking all over and I get that desperate need for Zoloft. I’m breathing hard and I start to throw up. Billy leads me away and pushes me down onto the ground. “Sit,” he says. “What can I do to help?”
I dry retch. I’ve already lost my dinner. I rock back and forth and the pain is everywhere and I’m burning up and I want to scream and die. I just want to die.
“You have to get it together, Lex,” Billy says in a stern voice. “You wanted to be able to handle things, remember? That’s why you left your meds behind. That old Lexie is gone and this is the new one. You’ve been doing real good, and now you have to be strong. Life’s gonna throw curveballs at you and you have to handle them.”
Easy for him to say. He’s never had a panic attack. I take deep breaths and try to slow my breathing down. I’m still rocking backwards and forwards because it soothes me. I become aware of Billy’s hand stroking my hair and it’s good.
“That’s it. You’re doing better, now,” he says quietly. “Keep taking those long breaths.” I slip the last two candies into my mouth.
Stretch’s voice comes to me. “You said you knew which mushrooms were safe, man. Are we all gonna fall down and die like that now?” He’s shouting.
“I do know which mushrooms are safe,” Trip says. “I know I didn’t pick any of the poisonous ones. I checked them all myself.”
“So what are you saying?” Sam says. “That one of us deliberately slipped a poisonous mushroom in there? We don’t know the difference, so how would we know which ones to poison someone with?”
Trip sucks on his pipe, and then takes it out of his mouth.
“Why would I poison him?” Trip knocks the tobacco out of the pipe onto his shoe. “What do I stand to gain from Killing Mark, huh?”
“Money.”
“We all know the game is over, and anyhow, Mark wasn’t one of the players.”
“Maybe he saw you doing something you shouldn’t,” Sam counters.
Trip shakes his head. “That’s ridiculous.”
That’s when I remember Mark said he had something to tell me. Could Sam be right? I have to watch the footage on Mark’s camera, but I can’t do it when anyone else is around, except Billy, of course. What if Mark witnessed something but didn’t film it? If that’s what happened, we’ll never know what it was. “Someone here is a murderer.” I don’t know why I said it out loud. “And I know who it is.” I glare at Trip.
Everyone stares at me with their mouths open.
Billy puts his arm around me and whispers in my ear. “Stop. You’ll make yourself a target. Let him be mad at Sam and the others.”
I know he’s right. Trip challenges me with his gaze and I make myself hold his stare. I refuse to allow him to see how much he scares me. “I mean, unless there is some crazy guy running around and getting close enough to kill.” I can sense the relief around me.
Everyone seems to relax just that tiny little bit and their shoulders seem to lose the tension.
But Mark is still dead, and I still know Jake would never allow a stranger to wander among us without barking.
The sharp bite of loss hits me again, and tears well up in my eyes. “I don’t understand it. I don’t understand any of it. And I don’t think the Old Man is coming back. We’re gonna be stuck here forever.” I turn and bury my face in Billy’s chest and try very hard not to cry. Billy holds me tight.
“We have to bury him,” he says, a note of despair in his voice.
“It can wait until morning,” Sam says.
“No, we can’t keep him safe from wild animals overnight. I’ll start digging,” Stretch says.
I force myself to calm down, and move my head away from Billy’s chest in time to see Stretch and Jared head toward the other gravesites. I don’t get it. We waited until daylight to bury Kelli and Andy. No wild animals got them. I think maybe it’s because no one wants to go to bed in case someone or something gets them while they’re sleeping.
“Does anyone want to say anything?” Maria asks when Mark’s body is in the hole and Jared has completed the task of filling in the dirt on top of him. It’s like I’m in a dream—a nightmare. Everything is far away and dull and my head is buzzing. “That can’t be Mark under there. He has a wife and kids and, and a job. He works with me. He can’t be dead.”
I realize Billy is talking to me. “What?”
“Don’t you want to say something over the grave? You knew him better than any of us.”
I shake my head to try and clear it. “I do.” I step forward Sam has planted a crude cross in the ground. I take a few moments to gather my thoughts. “I . . .” The word comes out raspy and I clear my throat. “I want everyone to know that Mark was the kindest, sweetest guy in the world and he has a wife and two kids at home who think he’s coming back.”
“This sucks. This really sucks,” Sam says.
We’re all sitting by the fire after a meagre breakfast of corn on the cob.
“Damn right,” Stretch agrees. “What sucks is that someone here—one of us—is a murderer.” He stares at Trip.
“Don’t look at me like that, brother,” Trip says, pulling the pipe from his mouth. “I don’t like the insinuation.”
“Yeah? Well I don’t like the way we’re being picked off one by one.”
“So you’re blaming me? There are ten of us here and you’re blaming me?”
“Nobody’s blaming you,” Lela says. “They didn’t say your name.”
“But it must be one of you guys,” Jared says. He points at each one in turn.
“Which guys?” Sam bristles. “Not me. Why are you pointing at me?”
“It’s logical,” Jared says. “We were here when Kelli and Andy bought it. Lexie, Billy, Stretch and me. And Rodriguez was in camp.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Faith says, her eyes blazing. “I don’t like being accused of anything, and this is serious.”
Everyone starts shouting at one another, and then there’s a lull.
Someone’s gonna have to go for help,” Billy says. “If that pilot was coming back he’d have done so by now.”
“And someone has to stay here and protect those of us who are still healthy,” Stretch says.
“Protect them from whom?” Faith raises her voice angrily.
Everyone starts arguing again.
Nobody could have protected Mark
. This killer is too sneaky. He murdered Mark right under our noses.
It has to be Trip. Billy is in terrible danger, but what can I do to protect him?
“I would go, but I don’t want to leave you.” Billy’s breath is hot in my ear, and I stare up at his face and I see the fire in his eyes.
“We have to do something. I don’t want you to go. But you are the strongest. Maybe I could go with you,” I say quietly.
“I may be able to get help,” Jared says loudly. He digs in his pocket and holds something up.
His cell phone.