Virtue & Vanity (52 page)

He sighed, laying the bouquet back onto his lap.

“Isabelle, I understand that you’re confused.” I gave him a look of fury. “And angry,” he concluded.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I was visibly upset.

“I didn’t tell you because I knew you would react like this. I thought that it would be better to finalize all of the formalities before we had this conversation.”

“Formalities?” I arched my eyebrows. “I... Sebastian I can’t believe you would do this after everything. I trusted you.” I couldn’t wrap my mind around the fact we were actually divorced. “Why? Why would you do this?” I asked in resignation.

He came closer and looked at me, his green eyes boring into mine. He shook his head. “Isabelle, I couldn’t stay married to you with the existence of that contract.” I gasped and he raised his voice, pleading me to give him a chance to explain. “Believe me, if there was any other way, I would have chosen it because taking the risk of losing you was the last thing I wanted to do, but it wasn’t fair to keep you in that prison anymore.”

“I don’t understand you. I thought—”

“Isabelle, would you really want to stay in that kind of a marriage for the rest of your life?” He caressed my cheek. I didn’t move away from him.

“Of course I would. I...” I exhaled to ease the pain and looked at him with sincerity. “I love you, Sebastian. I—”

“Isabelle, sooner or later that contract would become a menace. It would create fights and insecurities, leaving us trapped in a cycle because the only way out would be fulfilling those dreadful terms,” he said in a firm voice.

I gazed at him for a long time, processing what he had told me and I knew he was right. Once again, he demonstrated the level of his maturity. Unlike him, I didn’t think about the complications we might have in the future. All I thought about was that we were happy right now and that it would be enough for the rest of our lives. He sensed I relaxed and he even pulled me into a light embrace while I mentally scowled at myself. My gaze traveled to the roses and he smirked, handing them over to me and this time I accepted them.

“So,” I looked at him with fear in my eyes, “what happens next?”

“It’s up to you to decide if you want to stay or go, but I would really like you to stay,” he accentuated the last words almost like it hurt him to say them.

I looked at the bouquet in my lap and raised it to feel the soothing scent of my favorite flowers.

“Why give me the choice if you don’t want me to leave?” I asked softly, talking more to myself, than him.

He snorted and even though he was already threateningly close, he leaned even closer, consuming me with his presence. Our breaths collided, forming a hot mist in the cold autumn night and as if we couldn’t fight it, our lips glued to each other like magnets. In a moment of mental frenzy, it felt like I exploded into million little pieces and poured myself into him. And he accepted the gift, drinking, taking—devouring me.

When he broke the kiss, we were both panting for air and I couldn’t stop shivering. “I love you, Isabelle,” he said in a shaky voice and gently cupped my face between his hands, forcing me to look solely at him. “And I want you to stay because I need you almost like I need the air to breathe. But I can’t expect you to stay because you have to, love. I want you to stay because you want to.”

His words brought me to tears and I looked away from him because it shamed me to cry, but it was so hard to ignore all the emotions that barged in with the power of a tsunami. Searching for something that would help me calm down before I gave him a reply that was crystal clear because there was only once choice I could make, I leaned down to smell the beautiful roses and indeed, their scent had an immediate healing effect. For a few moments, I meticulously observed them and something inside the bouquet caught my eye. When I looked at Sebastian, revealing my curiosity, he smiled almost like he encouraged me to see what was hidden between the roses.

I reached for the mysterious object, pulled it out and raised it towards the light of the street lamp. In surprise, I started breathing harshly as I realized I was holding a small box in my hand.

“What is this?” I turned towards him, waiting for an explanation.

A smile of genuine happiness widened on his face and those green eyes burned with affection. “I started to think you’d never find it,” he whispered and reached for the box in my hands.

A heavy lump formed in my throat as tears reappeared in my eyes without any chances of holding them back and my legs turned to jelly when I realized what was about to happen.

Sebastian stretched out his hand and I laid my palm into his, letting him pull me up on my feet. I felt utterly exposed in front of his vigilant gaze that held mine with powerful intensity.

“I know—” he started, and then sighed as if he needed time to compose himself.

If I didn’t know better, I would have sworn there was a flicker of fear in his eyes. He took a deep breath, announcing that he was about to speak again.

“I know there was pain and I know that I hurt you,” he whispered and looked away for a moment like he was fighting something. When he looked back at me, his eyes reflected the crystal green light of painful regret. “No matter how much I try to make you forget, I’m well aware that some things might be unforgettable...and inexcusable. Which is why I probably don’t deserve the privilege to ask what I’m about to ask, but I think you realized by now that I’m a very selfish man.”

A contour of a smile appeared on his face but it disappeared so fast as if it was carried by the speed of light.

“Sebastian,” I muttered his name, extending my hand towards him and caressing his face.

It pained me to see him in such a fragile state of mind and I was willing to do whatever it takes to offer him comfort, but I was carried by the power of emotions myself. As if he knew, he closed his eyes and reached for my hand which was frozen on his cheek. The beating of my heart picked up a fast rhythm as he laid a soft kiss on my knuckles and kept his stare on my hand.

“I wish I could tell you that I’m willing to let you go, but I’m afraid that would be a lie,” he breathed and looked up, locking his gaze with mine. “If you’re prepared to ignore the laws of common sense one last time and put your trust in the flawed man who is willing to do whatever it takes to keep you by his side, I promise I will cherish that gift for the rest of my life.”

He swallowed, taking a step towards me. In a light touch, he brushed his thumb along my lips and leaned over to steal a small kiss. As our lips trembled against each other, both of us closed our eyes and savored the moment of bliss. Instantly, I realized that he wasn’t the only one who couldn’t let go. Yes, there had been pain. A lot of pain. But there had also been so much beauty that emerged from the ashes of the hurt that created the initial bond between us. Essentially, the consequences of the tragedy that happened on that cold, dark night brought us together, and the only way we could survive was in each other’s arms. His eyelids lifted up, like curtains that uncovered the green light of his gaze which was fully focused on my expectant eyes.

“I love you more than anything on this earth, Isabelle,” he whispered achingly. “And I am powerless in this matter because nothing will ever make these feelings go away.”

The lump that squeezed my throat overpowered me at last and a tear escaped my eyes, rolling down my cheek. Smiling sadly, he wiped it away and squeezed my hand between his warm palms.

“I love you too.” I breathed as he kissed the top of my hand once more.

“No more tears, love,” he said decisively. “If you stay by my side, I promise you nothing but happiness, until we take our last breaths.”

It started to rain and more than a few raindrops fell on the ground, soaping it with wetness but Sebastian didn’t mind. Like the Prince Charming I had always dreamt of meeting, he replayed the scene from my fantasy and got down on one knee, looking up at me with sheer affection gleaming from his deep emerald gaze.

I tried not to look at the little box in his hand and pretend I was calm, but the nervous fidgeting of my fingers as well as the constant shifting of my eyes, gave me away.

“Please, let me take care of you and continue making amends.” His words made me look straight into his eyes again. “Every day, every hour, every minute, I’ll show you all the ways in which you’ve captured my heart,” he said in a shaky, pleading voice and I couldn’t speak.

One by one, tears left my eyes, forming a stream of immense blessedness when he opened the box, revealing a small ring that shone with the brightness of hope.

“There is no greater honor than the honor of having you as my companion through all the good and the bad in this life.”

My heart broke a little at the sight of this breathtaking, yet wounded man who spoke to me with so much beauty in his words. I knew that nobody would ever repeat them and even if they did, it wouldn’t be the same.

“Will you marry me, Isabelle?”

After uttering the question with silky softness that left me bewildered, his face held an expectant expression, almost like he didn’t dare to breathe. Sebastian. The Sebastian I loved.
My
Sebastian had just proposed. He’d proposed because he wanted to spend a lifetime with me. I gasped a smile, trying to grasp that this was reality. If it had been a dream, I knew that I never wanted to wake up from it.

“I love you,” I whispered in a small, rushed voice, fighting the river of tears and hoping none of this had been a product of my vivid imagination. “Yes,” I raised my voice in excitement and then lowered it down. “Yes, I will marry you, Sebastian.”

His eyes were filled with the same emotion and there was a wet trace on his face but it didn’t come from the rain. Without removing his gaze from mine, he took the ring out of the box, taking hold of my hand and gently placing it on my finger.

As the cold metal frame of the ring came into contact with my skin, the warmth embraced my heart and I felt like I had been given something priceless that made me feel whole again.

Without letting go of my hand, he got up and now I could clearly see the reflection of tears in his eyes. Then, he smiled. At first, it was small and barely noticeable but gradually it turned into a suppressed laughter. I wasn’t prepared for what was going to happen next. Sebastian seemed to be so energetic and happy that he lifted me up and spun me around in his arms, repeating sweet exclamations of love. By the time he put me down, I was feeling dizzy and he had to hold me by the shoulders or I would have lost my balance.

“I love you,” he spoke softly and smiled without end. “Isabelle, you’ve just made me the happiest man in the world.”

I smiled genuinely, still finding a way to control the dizziness. “The feeling is entirely mutual.”

His eyes followed mine when I diverted them to look at the ring. It was simple, yet special and beautiful. In the middle of it, there was a sign that looked like an eight, only turned around. I ran my index finger over it.

“Do you know what it means?” he asked and I shook my head.

“It looks like a small bow.” I decided to take a guess anyways but Sebastian’s chuckle revealed it might not have been the best of ideas.

“It’s a symbol.” He smiled. “It represents the time we’re going to spend together.” A flicker of light woke in his eyes as he whispered a single word. “Infinity.”

As if we were connected by some invisible strings, we couldn’t look away from each other. He pulled me into a tight embrace and I couldn’t help but thinking that my form fell into his arms perfectly. I didn’t know how long we remained in that position. It was raining and we were soaking wet, but neither of us seemed to be prepared to move just yet. We didn’t speak. We didn’t need words. Instead, we focused on the sounds that broke the silence of the night around us and we kissed on the rain for a long time.

“Beautiful moments and red roses.” I heard the voice of that old man who had given us the bouquet.

By the time we broke our kiss and turned to face him, he was already disappearing out of our sight.

Baffled, I looked at Sebastian. “How did you manage to get him to deliver you the ring in the roses?”

He arched his eyebrows. “I didn’t. His interference was entirely coincidental,” he said and his gaze darted towards the sky.

“Are you trying to tell me that the man simply appeared with the roses and the hidden ring and you knew nothing about it?”

“What if that’s exactly what I’m trying to tell you?” After a short break of silence in which I stared at him thinking he had gone mad, he chuckled. “Don’t worry, I already had the ring. I slipped it in the bouquet when I was chasing you on the street. I didn’t think it would be that difficult but you really made me earn it.” He winked. “I’m glad the roses came to my aid.”

I couldn’t wipe away the smile from my face. “The roses were nice but you shouldn’t underestimate your charms.” I tilted up my head. “Though I have to say you’re lucky you made it alive after telling me about the divorce.”

He smirked. “Oh, I’m lucky.”

As his lips gently brushed against mine, his bright gaze told me the words held a double meaning. A small smile teased my lips and his gaze roamed along the features of my face, making it appear as though he observed me with adoration.

“Thanks to you, love, I’m the luckiest man alive,” he breathed and kissed me gently while I shivered at the sound of his endearments, knowing that I would remember this moment for the rest of my life.