Vision of Destiny (Infinity Book 2) (14 page)

THIS IS TURNING OUT BETTER THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD. Now that Cocksucker’s gone, I can have quality time with my Angel. Damn, she looks fucking sexy tonight. Her long legs look impossibly hot with those black heels.

“Sometimes, I think about you and those heels. You remember that, don’t you?” Her body shivers. Oh yes, she does. “Remember wearing just those when I fucked you against the wall? Remember screaming my name? Clawing at my back?” I softly touch her back, making small circles. She’s not stopping me. Lowering my voice and moving closer to her ear, I say, “I remember all the fucking naughty things you said to me. Telling me to fuck you harder and make you scream. Telling me to suck on your nipples and play with your wet clit,” soft moans escapes her lips. “Yeah I know you’re thinking about it now. Tell me to stop and I will.”

“Nicholas, please stop. We can’t do this.” She starts to leave, but I don’t let her.

“Walking down memory lane, Angel. There’s nothing wrong with that.” My phone vibrates in my pocket. Shit, Jamie.

“Looks like your wife could be calling. Better get that.”

I want to ignore the call, but she threw a fit about me going out tonight. Answering her call, she begs me to come home and spend time with her. Fuck. Finishing my drink, I tell Stephen to catch a ride with Larry.

Leaving the bar, I vow to talk to Karly again…soon.

I walk inside and go upstairs, straight to Jamie’s room. She’s curled up in a ball and there are tissues everywhere.

“What’s going on?” I ask.

“You’re never home. You said you would try and you aren’t. I’m only asking for a little bit of time. Can you give that to me?”

She keeps throwing that in my face. Right now, I can’t give her time. Whenever I hear Karly’s out, I need to go too. Sure, I’m being a stalker, but it’s the only way, since she’s not talking to me.

“I’m sorry. I’ll try harder.”

She smiles. “Thanks. That’s all I wanna hear.”

“Get some sleep. I’ll see you in the morning.”

Shutting her door, I go to Emma’s room to check on her. She’s quietly tucked away and looks peaceful with her hands placed underneath her cheeks.

“I love you, Princess. Always, Daddy loves you.”

Closing her door, I walk downstairs and settle on the couch. It’s almost two in the morning and I hope Karly’s back home. Giving it a few more minutes, I give her a call, needing to talk to her.

She answers on the fourth ring. “Nicholas.”

“Angel. You made it home okay?”

“Yeah. Just climbing into bed. Is everything okay? You left in a hurry.”

“It’s fine.” I rub my face. “Jamie’s not feeling good and wanted me home.”

“Oh. Well, that’s good. She needs you, I guess.”

Not wanting to talk about Jamie anymore, I quickly change the topic. The Jensen topic.“How can you be happy and let someone you don’t know touch you?” There’s a moment of silence on her end. “Talk, Karly. I need to hear your voice.” I know I’m begging her. I know I’m being unfair, but this is the only time I can talk to her. The need for her is like a drug. She’s my endless supply and I’m not going to quit now.

“Nicholas, I’m moving on, just like you.” She pauses before talking again. “I’m fine. I’m not yours to worry about anymore, so please don’t worry about me.”

My chest tightens. “Karly, I don’t care where we are now or in the future, but I’m always gonna be there for you. I’ll always worry about you.”

I hear moving and sniffling. Fuck, I’m hurting her again. When is there going to be a time when I don’t hurt her?

“You said this is for the best. I’m trying to move on with my life, since you’ve done the same thing.” She pauses and takes a breath. “Jensen makes me happy. I mean, you have Jamie back – the love of your life.”

Anger takes over me. How the hell can she tell me she’s happy? I haven’t moved on! No one can take her away from me.

“Are you serious? You think I’m happy?”

“What do you want me to say, huh?”

“That you’re mine!”

“Excuse me?” she yells into the phone. “I was yours, Nicholas. WAS, past tense. You let me go and told me this was for the best. What did you want me to do? Wait around for you and pray you’d come back?”

“Yes! Because I am fucking coming back. Fuck what I said, Angel. Wait for me. Promise me you’ll wait. Don’t let him taste you. Don’t let him inside you. That’s MINE.”

“No. Fuck that, Nicholas. I refuse to be part of your life, knowing you’re MARRIED; remember that? You have someone in your life and you get to be happy. Well, I’m doing the same thing!”

“Listen to me, Karly. I know this is messed up, but believe me when I tell you I didn’t have a choice, all right? It’s a shitty situation. You have to believe me when I tell you I still love you and want you back. You’re constantly on my mind. Remember: always and forever.”

“No, Nicholas. You didn’t love me. If you loved me, then we wouldn’t be in this position. You don’t hurt the ones you love. I don’t know why you had me fall in love with you if you knew that one day, Jamie would come back. I was a convenience for you and that’s it. You don’t destroy someone you love, Nicholas, and that’s what you did to me. You destroyed me. But not anymore. I’m moving on with my life and you can be happy now too.”

“I am never gonna stop worrying about you. I don’t care if you push me away. I don’t care if you shut me out, but I will never stop loving you or worrying about you. You are my
life
. I know it doesn’t seem like that now, and I’m so sorry, Angel.”

“Just shut up, Nicholas.”

“No, Karly. I will get you back.” Fuming with anger, I hang up on her, grab my keys, and head over to see her.

Within minutes, I’m in the house, using my key, and running to her. I find her in the hallway, looking at me with wide eyes and surprise. She’s wearing a tight tank top and boxer shorts.
My boxer shorts.
She looks incredible.

“Nicholas? Oh my God; what the hell are you doing here? Get out.”

Walking over to her, ignoring her plea, I push her against the wall, running my finger down her face. “You’re mine. Do I make myself clear? No man will ever touch you.”

“But it’s okay for you to sleep with your
wife
.”

“Stop saying that. You’re it for me. I will fight for you every fucking day until you see that my heart belongs to you.”

“Just leave me alone.” Her voice trembles and I can see her fighting her feelings for me. She’s giving it all away, the way she’s breathing and staring at me. I feel the heat coming from her as I press my aching erection on her.

“Tell me to leave you alone.” She doesn’t say anything. “Tell me you hate me and you never loved me and I’ll leave.”

“If you love me, then leave. I can’t take this pain anymore. This is goodbye, Nicholas.”

“Here’s the funny thing, Angel. Me and my cock don’t like the word goodbye and we want you.” I press forward a little more. She lets out a soft moan. “I know you want me just like I want you.”

“Go to hell.”

I push her towards her bedroom. This is our moment and no one’s taking that from me.

“I need you. Tonight and now. Give me tonight and every night. You have my heart, Karly. Please don’t try to give it back to me. I’m begging you to stay with me. We belong together, even though things are bad right now.”

I press my lips against hers, but she’s not moving. “Baby, open your mouth. I need to feel you.” My hands roam up her body and into her hair. Closing the door behind us, I quickly pick her up and slam her against the wall, not giving a shit if anyone hears.

I push my fingers inside her and feel how wet she is for me. Just me. “Always ready for me. Tell me this is mine. Tell me your pussy belongs to just fucking me. Tell me now!”
“It’s yours, Nicholas. Only yours.”

Plunging my fingers into her heat, I use my thumb to play with her clit as she bites my shoulder, wanting more.

“I know what you need.” Swiftly putting her on her bed, I rip off her shorts and soon I’m standing before her, ready to be home. Tired of waiting, I pull her slightly off the bed and slam into her.

“Nicholas! Oh, oh!”

“Baby, you fucking feel so good. Tell me I’m the only cock that’ll ever be inside you.
“You’re the only one! Always!”

Pure pleasure builds inside me and I continue to move in and out of her. Keeping her legs up and wide, I feel her tightening. I know she’s close.

“Come on, baby. Come, now!” Her body shakes. “That’s right, baby. Let it out.” Soon, I find myself releasing inside her. She’s mine and no one will ever fucking take her away from me.

“Do you still love me?” I slowly pull out of her, lying next to my Angel, watching her slowly smile.

“Nicholas, I’m always gonna love you until the end of time.” My lips meet hers again. This is where I need to be.

Watching her sleep is my second favorite thing to do. She looks at peace and beautiful. I stroke her arm, up and down, when something catches my eye.

“What the fuck?” I say loudly.

She quickly opens her eyes and looks at me. “What?”

“Did Cocksucker fucking hit you? What the fuck is this on your arm?”

Her face falls. “It’s from you, Nicholas. You grabbed and held my arm too tight.”

“Karly. Angel.” Fuck no. No! I wouldn’t fucking do that. Seeing the bruise on her arm breaks me into pieces. I would never do anything to hurt her and here she is before my eyes and I see the damage. When am I going to stop hurting her?

“It’s okay, Nicholas. I’m not upset.”

“You should be. Look at me. I’m fucking turning into a monster. Angel, I don’t know what is wrong with me, but I’m sorry. I’m sorry for always hurting you. I need you to forgive me.” I wrap my arms around her, pulling on my body, needing to feel her heartbeat with mine. She’s my path; when I get lost, she’s the one who’ll always help me find my way. And it’ll lead me to my forever. My Angel. The way she fits in my arms is perfect. She’s my perfect.

Her body moves a little, causing me to get hard again.

“Round two?”

“Always,” I smirk.

BEING HERE WITH NICHOLAS IS RIGHT. This is where I belong; here in his arms, basking in the warmth of his love. Our love. Yet it scares me. Everything I’m feeling for him frightens me. He can’t stay with me forever, and a one-night stand isn’t what I’m looking for. I’m human and I have feelings too. He has to know that reality is waiting for us. I don’t know what I’m thinking, but I know I don’t want to be without him. But then reality hits me. I cheated on Jensen and Nicholas cheated on Jamie. Before I can say anything, I turn over and watch him sleep. He looks so peaceful, like nothing is wrong in our lives.

I’ve never felt this way for a man before, not Bradley or anyone else. Nicholas is my true love, my one and only. I know he feels the same way, even though he picked Jamie. There’s more to the story and I’ll wait forever until he tells me the truth. I deserve to know. Softly, I touch his face and memorize every line and how he feels.

But then, his phone goes off, interrupting our moment. He suddenly wakes, looking at me, and then picks up his phone.

“It’s Jamie,” he quietly says. He leaves me alone in bed, taking the call to the bathroom.

I feel like a whore. A cheap fucking whore. How did I let this happen? He’s a married man and I’m dating Jensen. I’m a horrible person. Tears sting my eyes. As much as I hate Jamie, she doesn’t deserve to be cheated on. I can’t do this again. We can’t do this again.

His voice carries to the bedroom and I can hear him apologizing to her. Is this how I want my life to be? I can’t do this. My body shakes with pain. When Nicholas walks over to me, I can see his sorrow, even in the dark. We know we both messed up.

“You have to go, huh?” I try and keep my voice calm. He doesn’t need to know I’m falling apart, ready to break down and beg him to stay. Swallowing my feelings, I turn away and steady my emotions. I ball my hands into fists and try to relax. I know he’s not mine, but why does he have to leave? It’s not worth it for me to lose control.

Soft lips press on my neck. For a few moments, I forget about Jamie and pretend he’s mine again. I lose myself in his kisses, but then reality sinks herself into my eyesight.

“Do you really have to go?”

“Yeah, I do. She needs me right now.”

Throwing out everything I just thought, I jump into his arms and beg him to stay. “Don’t leave me, please. I love you so much. I’ll stop seeing Jensen. Just don’t leave me.” I feel his body tighten against mine. “Nicholas? Babe, I need you.”

“I promised her.”

“B-but you promised me too. Don’t you remember everything you told me? Stay with me, please. Don’t you realize how much I love you? If you walk away from me, we’re back to square one. Love shouldn’t have to feel this way. Love shouldn’t hurt like this.” Nicholas sighs and brings me in his arms again. Silence fills the room and I don’t know what he’s thinking. Is he thinking about staying with me a little longer?

“Stay with me.”

When he doesn’t answer, I walk away and leave my bedroom without him. This isn’t right, but it feels right. Being here with Nicholas again, I know I’ll never be the same. No man can replace him in my life, so I’ll wait. I’ll wait until Nicholas is mine again. Despite everything I’m feeling, I can’t forget about our night together.

He wraps his arms around my waist before leaving. The second I feel his touch, I grab his arms and refuse to let go. I wish I could turn back time and never walked out of the bedroom. I wish I fought hard for him. There’s a deep ache in my heart and soul when it comes to Nicholas Hayes. I can’t tell him how I feel. I can’t make him choose. He’s already with Jamie and I’m the other woman. I’m killing myself over my feelings. Nothing makes sense. I go through the motions of life and can’t seem to find my focus again. Life is dull.

“I love you and I’m sorry. I hope one day soon I can tell you everything.”

“Me too,” I whisper. Where’s the strength I need to get through this? The insecurities that come with Nicholas eat away at me. Looking into his brown eyes, I still see my future, my happily ever after. I’m not sure if it’ll ever happen, but I can pray. I keep my eyes away from his. One look and I’ll break down. I need to be strong, even if it’s just pretend.

“Give it time.” I nod, not wanting to talk. He can’t hear the pain in my voice. “I love you, Angel.”

“Always.” The word comes out from my lips as he lets go and walks out the door. Crumbling to the ground, I muffle my cries with my hands and close my eyes, doing everything I can to ignore the pain. How can we do this? I’m so in love with him and know it’s wrong. Sobs escape from my body and soon, I’m in the arms of my two best friends.

Larry carries me to the couch and Lexi sits down next to me, holding me tight. My eyes are closed and the air in my lungs leaves my body. I’m an empty shell, holding on to the hope that the man I love will come back to me. I need him to be mine, just mine. Will that ever be possible?

“I’m so sorry. I’m sorry. He came over and it felt right. Oh God,” I wail, crying out loud. “What am I supposed to do?”

Lexi rubs my hands. “I don’t know what to tell you, babe. But you can’t be with Jensen and do this. And you can’t keep hurting yourself. I know you love my brother, but everyone’s gonna be broken at the end. Think about yourself.”

“I feel so helpless when it comes to him. I thought moving on would help, but it’s making him crazy. He w-wants me again. He p-promised me.” I couldn’t talk anymore.

“Look at me, babe, okay? Love brought you back here. I know you and Nicholas love each other, but think realistically. I love you both and I hate that you’re both going through this pain. I hope Jamie’s up to no good. I’m rooting for you both, but sometimes, you need to let love go to know if it’s true. So live your life and be happy. You have us and we’re never leaving your side, okay?” I nod, taking in my best friend’s words. She’s right. I need to live my life, but right now, all I can do is wallow in my pain and heartbreak. 

It’s only seven in the morning when I wake up. Lexi is still asleep next to me and Larry’s on the other sofa. I try to keep my eyes open, but it’s a losing battle. I go back to sleep and try to find peace. 

“Nicholas put me down!” I scream as he places me in his arms, spinning us around. “Ahhhhhh!”

We fall on the sand on the beach and his lips meet mine. I love his kisses and what they do to my body. Our legs tangle in each other’s as he pulls me on top of him.

“I love you, baby. Do you know that?”

I tap the side of my head and scrunch my face. Leaning down and kissing his forehead, I laugh and place my head on his chest. “I love you too, Nicholas.”

“Nicholas! Nicholas! Nicholas!” I scream, gripping the blankets and thrashing around. “Nicholas, please come back to me,” I sob, grabbing the pillow and bringing it to my body. “Please come back!”

Arms scoop me up, whispering that everything is going to be okay. I throw my arms around their neck and sob on their shoulder. These arms aren’t the ones I want.

“Shhhh, it’s all right, baby girl. I got you.”

“I miss him so much, Larry. I can’t do this anymore. I want him back.” Tears freely flow from my eyes. “I’m sorry. I need to be alone.” Running out of the living room and up the stairs to my room, I throw myself on my bed and bring the blanket to my face. Taking in a deep breath, I smell him. My Nicholas. I pull out my phone and listen to songs that remind me of Nicholas. Each song breaks me and makes me cry. Songs about love and forever and the promise of tomorrow. I listen to each song and remember all the times we shared. All the smiles, the laughs, and the love. I miss waking up in his arms and hearing him whisper how much he loves me. I miss everything.

Clenching the blanket, I close my eyes and see his intense brown eyes; the eyes that made me weak and made me fall in love.

Damn you, Nicholas. You fucking ruined everything. You ruined us and our future. The emotional toll of losing Nicholas is driving me crazy. Every second, I’m wondering about him, hoping he’s happy. I think about Emma. My poor Emma.

The urge to use the bathroom hits me. When I look in the mirror, I don’t see me. I see a ghost; someone living in the past and wishing for a happily ever after. My tearstained cheeks are red and swollen. The deep, dark circles under my eyes make me look away. I crumple to the floor. The pain – physical, mental, and emotional – eats away at my soul. There’s no moving on from Nicholas.

Lexi bursts through the door, causing me to get up quickly. “Lex?”

“Emma’s in the hospital,” she spits out through sobs.

Emma.