Voices (15 page)

I felt that I'd been tricked, that I'd been made use of without being told what for, as if I were a mere thing, a tool. I had been frightened. Now I was humiliated and angry.

"It makes the sense we can make of it," he said.

"That's like telling fortunes with sand." There are women in Ansul who, for a few pennies, will take a handful of damp sea sand and drop it on a plate, and from the lumps and peaks and scatters of the sand they foretell good fortune and bad, journeys, money ventures, love affairs, and so on. "It means whatever you want it to mean."

"Maybe," he said. After a while he went on, "Dano Galva said that to read the oracle is to bring rational thought to an impenetrable mystery ... There are answers in the old books that seemed senseless to those who heard them.
How should we defend ourselves from Sundraman?
they asked the oracle, when Sundraman first threatened to invade Ansul. The answer was,
To keep bees from apple blossoms.
The councillors were irate, saying the meaning was so plain it was foolish. They ordered an army to be raised to build a wall along the Ostis and defend it from Sundraman. The southerners crossed the river, knocked down the wall, defeated our army, marched here to Ansul City, killed those who resisted them, and declared all Ansul a protectorate of Sundraman. Ever since then they've been excellent neighbors, interfering with us very little, but greatly enriching us with trade. It was not a recommendation but
a warning: To keep bees from apple blossoms is to have trees that bear no fruit. Ansul was the blossom and Sundraman the bee. That's clear now. It was clear to the Reader, Dano Galva; as soon as she read it she said it meant we should offer no resistance to Sundraman. For that she was called a traitor. From that time on the Gelb and Cam and Actamo clans said the Council should not consult the oracle, and pressed for the university and the library to be moved from Galvamand."

"Much good the oracle did the Reader and her house," I said.

"'The nail's hit once, the hammer a thousand times.'"

I thought that over. "What if one doesn't choose to be a tool?"

"You always have that choice."

I sat and looked up at the great depths of stars. I thought that the stars were like all the souls who lived in former times in this city, this house, all the thousands of spirits, the forerunners, lives like distant flames, lights far and farther away in the great darkness of time. Lives past, lives to come. How could you tell one from the other?

I had wanted to ask why the oracle couldn't speak plainly, why it couldn't just say
Don't resist,
or
Strike now,
instead of cryptic images and obscure words. After looking at the stars, that seemed a foolish question. The oracle was not giving orders but just the opposite: inviting thought. Asking us to bring thought to mystery. The result might not be very satisfactory but it was probably the best we could do.

I gave an enormous yawn, and the Waylord laughed.

"Go to bed, child," he said, and I did.

Making my way to my room through the dark halls and corridors I expected to lie awake, haunted by the strangeness of the cave and by the words I had read and the voice that had spoken through me saying them:
Broken mend broken.
I touched the god-niche by the door, fell into my bed, and slept like a stone.

When Desac came the next day, I wasn't with the Waylord, I was helping Ista with the wash. She and Bomi and I had the boilers going soon after dawn, set up the cranked wringer, strung the wash lines, and by noon had filled the kitchen courtyard with clean sheets and table linens blinding white and snapping in the windy, hot sunlight.

In the afternoon, walking in the old park with Shetar, Gry told me what had occurred in the morning.

The Waylord had come to the Master's room to say that Desac wished to speak with Orrec. Orrec asked Gry to come with him. "I left Shetar behind," Gry said,
"since she seems to dislike Desac." They went down to the gallery, and there Desac again tried to make Orrec promise to go out and speak to the people of the city, rousing them to drive out the Alds, when the moment came.

Desac was eloquent and urgent, and Orrec was distressed, divided in mind, feeling that this was not his battle, and yet that any battle for freedom must be his. If Ansul rose up against tyranny, how could he stand aside? But he was given no choice in time or place, and also no real knowledge of how this rebellion was to be made. Desac was clearly wise to say so little about it, since it's success depended on it's being a surprise;yet, as Orrec told her, he didn't like being used, he'd rather be included.

I asked what the Waylord had said, and Gry said, "Almost nothing. Last night, you know, when Sulter said he'd 'ask,' and Desac jumped at it?—Well, nothing at all was said about that. They'd said it before we came down, no doubt."

I hated not to be able to tell her anything about the oracle;I didn't want to keep anything from Gry. But I knew it was not mine to speak of, or not yet.

She went on. " I think Sulter is worried about numbers. More than two thousand Ald soldiers, he said.
Most of them near the Palace and the barracks. At least a third armed and on duty, and the others close to their weapons. How can Desac move a large enough force against them without alerting the guards? Even at night? The night guards are mounted. Asudar horses are like dogs, you know, they're trained to give a signal if they sense anything amiss. I hope that old soldier knows what he's doing! Because I think he's going to do it pretty soon."

My mind moved swiftly, thinking of fighting in the streets.
How can we be free of the Aids?
With sword, knife, club, stone. With fist, with force, with our rage unleashed at last. We would break them, break their power, their heads, their backs, their bodies ...
Broken mend broken.

I was standing on a path among great bushes. The sun was hot on my head. My hands were dry, swollen, and sore from hot water and handling linens all the morning. Gry stood near me, watching me with alert concern. She said gently, "Memer? Where were you?"

I shook my head.

Shetar came bounding along the path to us. She halted, holding up her head with a proud and conscious air. She opened her fierce, fanged mouth, and a small
blue butterfly came fluttering out and flew off, quite unconcerned.

We both laughed uncontrollably. The lion looked a little embarrassed or confused.

"She's the girl that spoke blossoms and bells and butterflies!" said Gry. "You know about her—when Cumbelo was King?"

"And her sister spoke lice and lugworms and lumps of mud."

"Oh, cat, cat," Gry said, tugging at the fur behind Shetar's ears till the lion rolled her head with pleasure, purring.

I could not put it all together. Fighting in the streets, darkness in the cave, terror, laughter, sunlight on my head, starlight in my eyes, a lion who said a butterfly.

"Oh, Gry, I wish I understood
something,
" I said. "How do you ever make sense out of what happens?"

"I don't know, Memer. You keep trying, and sometimes it does."

"Rational thought and impenetrable mystery," I said.

"You're as bad as Orrec," she said. "Come on. Come home."

That night Orrec and the Waylord talked about the Gand Ioratth, and I found I could listen without closing my mind. Maybe it was because I had seen the Gand twice now, and despite the hateful pomp, and the cringing slaves, and my knowledge that if the whim took him he could have us all buried alive, what I had seen was a man, not a demon. A hard, tough, wily old man who loved poetry with all his heart.

Orrec spoke almost to my thought: "This fear of demons, devilry—it's unworthy of him. I wonder how much of all that he believes, in fact."

"He may not fear demons much," the Waylord said. "But so long as he can't read, he'll fear the written word."

"If I could just take a book there and open it and read from it—the same words I speak without the book—!"

"Abomination." The Waylord shook his head. "Sacrilege. He'd have no choice but to hand you over to the priests of Atth."

"But if the Alds decide to stay here, to rule Ansul, to deal with it's neighbors, with other lands and nations, they can't go on abominating what trade is based on—records and contracts. And diplomacy—let alone history, poetry! Did you know that in the City States, 'ald' means idiot.? 'No use to talk to him, he's an ald.' Surely Ioratth has begun to see the disadvantage they're at."

"Let's hope that he has. And that the new king in Medron sees it."

But I began to be impatient with this talk. The Alds weren't going to decide to stay here, rule us, deal with our neighbors. It wasn't up to them. I found myself saying, "Does it matter?"

They all looked at me, and I said, "They can go be illiterate all they please in Asudar."

"Yes," the Waylord said, "if they'll go."

"We'll drive them out."

"Into the countryside?"

"Yes! Out of the city!"

"Are our farmers able to fight them? And if we chased them clear home to Asudar—won't the High Gand see it as an insult and threat to his new power, and send more thousands of soldiers against us? He has an army. We do not."

I didn't know what to say.

The Waylord went on. "These are considerations which Desac dismisses. He may well be right to do so. 'Forethought, bane of action.' But do you see, Memer, now that things are changing among the Alds themselves, I have my first hope of regaining our liberty by persuading them that we're more profitable to them as allies than as slaves. That would take time. It would end in a compromise not a victory. But if we seek victory now and fail, hope will be hard to find."

I could say nothing. He was right, and Desac was right. The time to act was upon us, but how to act?

"I could speak for you to Ioratth better than I could speak for Desac to the crowd," Orrec said. "Tell me, are there people in the city who would talk in these terms to Ioratth, if he agreed to some negotiation?"

"Yes, and outside the city, too. We've kept in touch over the years with all the towns of the Ansul Coast, scholars and merchants, people who were waylords and mayors and officers of the festivals and ceremonies. Boys run messages from town to town, wagoners carry them along with the cabbages. The soldiers seldom search for written messages, they'd rather have nothing to do with sacrilege and wizardry."

"'O Lord Destroyer, give me an ignorant enemy!'" Orrec quoted.

"In the city, some of the men I've talked about this with over the years are with Desac now. They seek any
way to get the Ald yoke off our neck. They're ready to fight. But they might be willing to talk. If the Alds will listen."

***

O
RREC WAS NOT SUMMONED
to the Palace the next day. Late in the morning he went down to the Harbor Market, on foot, with Gry. He didn't give any advance notice, no tent was set up, but as soon as he walked into the market square people recognised and followed him. They didn't press very close to him, partly because of Shetar, but they made a moving circle round him, greeted him, called out his name, and shouted, "Recite, recite!" One man shouted, "Read!"

I didn't walk with them. I was in boy's clothes, as usual when I went in the streets, and didn't want to be seen as Mem the groom with Gry, who wasn't in disguise. I ran round to the raised marble pavement in front of the Admirals' Tower and climbed up on the base of the horse statue there, from which I had a good view of the whole market. The statue is the work of Redam the sculptor, carved from one great block of stone;the horse stands foursquare, strong and heavy, his head raised and turned to the west, looking out to sea. The Alds had destroyed most statues in the city but left this one untouched, perhaps because it was a horse; certainly they didn't know that the sea gods, the Seunes, are imagined and worshipped in the form of horses. I touched the Seune's big stone left front hoof and murmured the blessing. The Seune returned the blessing to me in the form of shade. It was a hot day already, and going to get hotter.

Orrec took his position where the tent had been on the first day he spoke here, and the people crowded round him. The pedestal I was on soon filled up with boys and men, but I hung on to my place right between the horse's front legs, shoving back hard when people shoved me. Many of the stall keepers in the market tossed a cloth over their goods and joined the crowd to listen to the maker, or stood on a stool by their booth to see over the heads of the throng. I saw five or six blue cloaks in the crowd, and soon a troop of mounted Ald soldiers came down the Council Way to the corner of the square, but they stopped without trying to push into the crowd. There was a great hum of noise, talking and laughing and shouting, and it was a shock when all that human commotion ceased at once, dropped into utter silence, at the first note of Orrec's lyre.

He said a poem first, Tetemer's love poem "The Hills of Dom," an old favorite all up and down the Ansul Coast. When he had spoken it he sang the refrain with the lyre, and the people sang with him, smiling and swaying.

Then he said, "Ansul is a small land, but her songs are sung and her tales are told through all the Western Shore. I first learned them far to the north, in Bendraman. The makers of Ansul are famous from the farthest south to the River Trond. And there have been heroes here in peaceful Ansul and Manva, brave warriors, and the makers have told of them. Hear the tale of Adira and Marra on the Mountain Sul!"

A great, strange sound went up from the crowd, a kind of moaning roar both of joy and of grief. It was frightening. If Orrec was daunted, if the response he got was more than he'd expected, he didn't show it. He lifted his head proudly and sent his voice out strong and clear: "In the days of the Old Lord of Sul, an army came from the land of Hish..." The crowd stood completely motionless. I was fighting tears the whole time. The story, the words, were so dear to me, and I had only known them in silence, in secret, in the hidden room, alone. Now I heard them spoken aloud among a great crowd of my people, in the heart of my city, under the open sky. Across the straits the mountain stood blue in the blue haze, it's peak sharp white. I held on to the stone hoof of the Seune and fought my tears.