Volpone and Other Plays (40 page)

SUBTLE
:                                  
Ti, ti, ti, ti
. He has more yet.

FACE
:
Ti, ti-ti-ti
. I' the t' other pocket?

SUBTLE
:                                                           
Titi, titi, titi, titi
.

They must pinch him or he will never confess, they say.

[
They pinch him again
.]

DAPPER
: O, O!

FACE
:                    Nay, pray you, hold. he is her grace's nephew!

Ti, ti, ti?
What care you? Good faith, you shall care. –

Deal plainly, sir, and shame the fairies. Show

40      You are an innocent.

DAPPER
:                             By this good light, I ha' nothing.

SUBTLE
:
Ti ti, ti ti to ta
. He does equivocate, she says:

Ti, ti do ti, ti ti do, ti da;
and swears by the light when he is blinded.

DAPPER
: By this good dark, I ha' nothing but a half-crown of gold about my wrist, that my love gave me; And a leaden heart I wore sin' she forsook me.

FACE
: I thought 'twas something. And would you incur your aunt's displeasure for these trifles? come, I had rather you had thrown away twenty half-crowns.

[
takes it off
]

You may wear your leaden heart still. – How now!

SUBTLE
[
aside
]: What news, Dol?

50   
DOL COMMON
[
aside
]: Yonder's your knight, Sir Mammon.

FACE
[
aside
]: God's lid, we never thought of him till now!

Where is he?

DOL COMMON
[
aside
]: Here, hard by. He's at the door.

SUBTLE
[
aside
]: And you are not ready now! Dol, get
his suit
.

[
Exit
DOL.]

He must not be sent back.

FACE
[
aside
]:                             O, by no means.

What shall we do with this same puffin here, Now he's o' the spit?

SUBTLE
[
aside
]:                             Why, lay him back awhile,

With some device.

[
Re-enter
DOL
with
FACE's
clothes
.]

                              
– Ti, tí ti, tí ti ti
. Would her Grace speak with me?

I come. – [
Aside
] Help, Dol!

FACE
:                                                 - Who's there? Sir Epicure,

   He speaks through the keyhole, the other knocking
.

My master's i' the way. Please you to walk

60      Three or four turns, but till bis back be turned,

And I am for you. – [
Aside
] Quickly, Dol!

SUBTLE
:                                                                     Her Grace

Commends her kindly to you, Master Dapper.

DAPPER
: I long to see her Grace.

SUBTLE
:                                                 She now is set At dinner in her bed, and she has sent you From her own private trencher, a dead mouse And a piece of gingerbread, to be merry withal

And stay your stomach, lest you faint with fasting.

Yet if you could hold out till she saw you, she says,

It would be better for you.

FACE
:                                       Sir, he shall

70        Hold out, an't were this two hours, for her Highness;

I can assure you that We will not lose

All we ha' done. –

SUBTLE
:                   He must nor see, nor speak

To anybody, till then.

FACE
:                                       For that we'll put, sir, A stay in's mouth.

SUBTLE
:         Of what?

FACE
:                            Of gingerbread.

Make you it fit. He that hath pleased her Grace

Thus far, shall not now crinkle for a little.–

Gape, sir, and let him fit you.

[
They thrust a gag of gingerbread in his mouth
.]

SUBTLE
[
aside
]:                             Where shall we now Bestow him?

DOL COMMON
[
aside
]: I' the privy.

SUBTLE
:                                                 Come along, sir, I now must show you Fortune's privy lodgings.

FACE
: Are they perfumed, and his bam ready?

SUBTLE
:                                                           All; Only the fumigation's somewhat strong.

FACE
[
speaking through the keyhole
]: Sir Epicure, I am yours, Sir, by and by.

[
Exeunt with
DAPPER.]

IV,i      [
Lovewit's house
.

[FACE,
disguised as the servant, admits
MAMMON.]

[FACE:] O sir, y' are come i' the only finest time.–

MAMMON
: Where's Master?

FACE
:                                             Now preparing for projection, sir. Your stuff will be all changed shortly.

MAMMON
:                             Into gold?

FACE
: To gold and silver, sir.

MAMMON
:                                    Silver I care not for.

FACE
: Yes, sir, a little to give beggars.

MAMMON
:                                                 Where's the lady?

FACE:
At hand here. I ha' told her such brave things o' you, Touching your bounty and your noble spirit –

MAMMON
:                                        Hast thou?

FACE
: As she is almost in her fit to see you.–

But, good sir, no divinity i' your conference, For fear of putting her
in rage
.

10  
MAMMON
:                                       I warrant thee.

FACE
: Six men will not hold her down. And then, If the old man should hear or see you -

MAMMON
:                                       Fear not.

FACE
: The very house, sir, would run mad. you know it, How scrupulous he is, and violent,

'Gainst the least act of sin. Physic or mathematics,

Poetry,
state
, or bawdry, as I told you,

She will endure, and never startle; but

No word of controversy.

MAMMON
:                             I am schooled, good Ulen.

20   
FACE
: And you must praise her
house
, remember that, And her nobility.

MAMMON
:                              Let me alone.

No herald, no, nor antiquary,

Lungs, Shall do it better. Go.

FACE
[
aside
]:                             Why, this is yet A kind of modern
happiness
, to have Dol Common for a great lady.

[
Exit
.]

MAMMON
[
alone
]:                              Now, Epicure,

Heighten thyself, talk to her all in gold;

Rain her as many showers as Jove did drops

Unto his Danaë; show the god a miser, Compared with Mammon. What! the Stone will do't

She shall feel gold, taste gold, hear gold, sleep gold;

30        Nay, we will
concumbere
gold. I will be puissant

And mighty in my talk to her.

[
Re-enter
FACE
with
DOL,
richly dressed
.]

                                                  Here she comes.

FACE
[
aside
]: To him, Dol, suckle him. – This is the noble knight I told your ladyship -

MAMMON
:                             Madam, with your pardon,

I kiss your vesture.

DOL COMMON
:             Sir, I were uncivil

If I would suffer dut; my lip to you, sir.

MAMMON
: I hope my Lord your brother be in heakh, lady.

DOL COMMON
:  My Lord my brother is, though I no lady, sir.

FACE
[
aside
]: Well said, my
Guinea-bird
.

MAMMON
:                                                           Right noble madam -

FACE
[
aside
]: O, we shall have most fierce idolatry.

40   
MAMMON
: 'Tis your prerogative.

DOL COMMON
:                                         Rather your courtesy.

MAMMON
: Were there nought else t' enlarge your virtues to me, These answers speak your breeding and your blood.

DOL COMMON
:             Blood we boast none, sir; a poor baron's daughter.

MAMMON
: Poor! and gat you? Profane not. Had your father

Slept all the happy remnant of his life After the act, lien but there still, and panted,

He' d done enough to make himself, his issue,

And his posterity noble.

DOL COMMON
:                      Sir, although

We may be said to want the gilt and trappings,

50        The dress of honour, yet we strive to keep

The seeds and the materials.

MAMMON
:                                     I do see

The old ingredient, virtue, was not lost,

Nor the drug, money, used to make your compound.

There is a strange nobility i' your eye,

This lip, that chin! Methinks you do resemble

One o' the Austriac princes.

FACE
[
aside
]:                             Very like!

Her father was an Irish
costermonger
.

MAMMON
: The house of Valois just had such a nose,

And such a forehead yet the Medici

Of Florence boast.

60    
DOL COMMON
:             Troth, and I have been lik' ned To all these princes.

FACE
[
aside
]:                        I'll be sworn, I heard it

MAMMON
: I know not how! it is not any one, But e' en the very choice of all their features.

FACE
[
aside
]: I'll in, and laugh.

[
Exit
.]

MAMMON
:                                A certain touch, or air,

That sparkles a divinity beyond

An earthly beauty!

DOL COMMON
:             O, you play the courtier.

MAMMON
: Good lady, gi' me leave –

DOL COMMON
:                                         In faith, I may not, To mock me, sir.

MAMMON
:                              To burn i' this sweet flame;

The phoenix never knew a nobler death.

70    
DOL COMMON
: Nay, now you court the courtier, and destroy What you would build. This art, sir, i' your words, Calls your whole faith in question.

MAMMON
:                             By my soul –

DOL COMMON
: Nay, oaths are made o' the same air, sir.

MAMMON
:                                                                                          Nature

Never bestowed upon mortality

A more
unblamed
, a more harmonious feature;

She played the step-dame in all faces else.

Sweet madam, le' me be
particular
–

DOL COMMON
: Particular, sir! I pray you, know your distance.

MAMMON
: In no ill sense, sweet lady, but to ask