Wagonmaster (3 page)

Her gaze found Josh again, and her smile disappeared. “I know you said you'd have little time for me until we reached Baker City, but couldn't you at least find a moment now and again? I am your wife, after all.”

He opened his mouth to ask her what the heck she was babbling about, but closed it again as he heard a snicker from one of the men watching their exchange. The puzzling woman had already turned her back and hurried away.

Wiping a hand over his face, he addressed the spectators. “Did you gentlemen need to speak to me?”

They shuffled nervously, each looking at the other. Mr. Adams finally spoke. “Uh, we were hopin' you could ask your wife if she wouldn't mind slowin' the pace a little tomorrow.”

Mr. Wheeler nodded quickly. “Yes, yes! This ain't no race, Reynolds.”

The two others grunted their agreement. Mr. Adams shrugged. “It's hard on the women and children, you understand.”

Josh hid a smile. “I'll tell her. Anything else?”

They all looked at each other again, shaking their heads. “No, that's all.”

Josh helped Jimmy butcher the deer after an early supper. He chose a thick steak, wrapped it up, and headed over to Addie's wagon. Josh understood that her actions earlier had been nothing less than a performance. But why did she feel the need for it? Had someone said something to her?

He found Addie folding her laundry. She saw him and pulled the last few pieces off the rope clothesline and flung them unfolded into the basket. She stepped before him, her face revealing her worry. “What happened? What did the men say?”

“Everythin' is fine, Addie.”

She exhaled heavily, relief evident in her stance.

Josh grinned. “Would you care to tell me what prompted that little drama you acted out for us?”

“I was on my way to get my fish when I heard them talking. They don't believe that we're really married. They thought you'd lied to them.”

He gritted his teeth. The men had been on their way to accuse him of being a liar. He kept a tight grip on his anger. “And you were tryin' to prevent an ugly disagreement.”

She nodded, not denying it for a moment. “Did it work?”

He ignored her question and struggled to keep his voice even. “You should have let me handle it, Addie. This is my train. I'm the law here. I can't allow them to question my word.”

“Did they?” she asked anxiously. “Question your word, I mean.”

He shook his head. “Not directly to me. But if they had, I could have made certain it didn't happen again.”

She sighed, her relief visible in her features. “Reynolds, I don't want to cause problems. I just want to get to Baker City, to my father. If they had confronted you—accused you of lying—you would have set them straight. I have no doubt of that. But there would still have been distrust and animosity.” She held her arms before her, palms up, her face contrite. “They already treat me like a leper. An argument between you and the others would only make things worse. Don't you understand?”

He mulled over her words. It was true that the train hadn't accepted her as he'd hoped. The fact that he claimed her as his wife hadn't swayed them. But then, he hadn't treated her like a wife. In truth, while he hadn't purposely avoided her, he hadn't been overly friendly either. Was it his fault the train scorned her? “I know it's been hard for you. I apologize if I've done anythin' to make it worse.”

She offered him a sad smile. “It's not your fault, Reynolds. I'm an independent, outspoken woman. That alone is enough to alienate me. Worse, I'm a doctor. Women aren't supposed to be doctors. We are supposed to be wives and mothers, submissive to their men. And do you know what my greatest sin is?”

He smiled. “You're stubborn?”

Addie shook her head. “I'm rich. I have money. Therefore I must be immoral, without principles, compassion, or shame.”

Josh chuckled. “I can't believe I didn't realize what a wicked person you are.”

She smiled. “Terrible. A veritable social pariah.”

“Society's loss.” He couldn't stop himself. He reached up to push that stray lock of hair behind her ear. “The world needs more women like you.”

Her eyes widened in feigned shock. “Heaven forbid!”

A mesmerizing twinkle flashed in her gaze. He couldn't look away. Thick lashes lined big, blue pools that hid nothing. In Addie's case, her eyes really were the windows to her soul. The last rays of the setting sun lit her oval face, revealing freckles sprinkled across her button nose. It also set her hair afire, bringing out the gold and red in the shiny tresses she kept pulled back in a sensible braid.

Josh gave himself a mental shake. He couldn't have this woman. Though she'd offered complete surrender in that kiss last night, her innocence had been unmistakable. Addie deserved a husband. He'd already failed miserably in that job and he wasn't about to make that mistake again. Searching for a way to change the subject, he found the answer in his left hand. “This is for you.”

“What is it?” She stared at the package suspiciously.

“I brought in a deer today. It's steak. I thought I'd pay you back for the fish.”

“Oh, there's no need.” She tried to give it back to him. “Really, I gave Mr. Johnson the fish in return for cleaning mine.” She changed her mind. “But if you don't need it, I'd be glad to pay you for it.”

“I don't think so. The others really would wonder if I'd lied about you being my wife if they knew I was charging you for meat. Let's not give them any more reason to call me a liar.”

She frowned. “I'm sorry, Reynolds. I really do appreciate your help in getting to Baker City. I don't think I ever really thanked you.”

“There's no need to thank me. You've pulled your own weight so far. You give me less trouble than any of the rest of them. Oh, by the way, they asked me to talk to you about the pace you've set.”

“The pace?” Her face paled, and her lips thinned, a stricken expression replacing the frown. “Reynolds, I don't think…I mean, I'll try, but….” She swallowed hard. Was she about to cry? She finished in a whisper. “I'm not sure I can go any faster.”

He laughed. “Not faster darlin'. They want you to slow down.”

The distress marring her features disappeared, and her face lit up. She looked as if she'd just been pardoned from a death sentence. “Oh! Thank goodness! Well, yes. Yes, of course. I would be happy to slow the pace. I wish they'd said something sooner.”

“Don't slow down too much. But you don't need to push yourself so hard. All right?”

She nodded. “All right.”

Josh let his gaze drift over her and beyond, searching the camp, checking the other wagons. Families finished their evening chores or sat together peacefully under the dusky sky. Darkness arrived earlier now that September was here. To his surprise, everywhere he looked, people watched Addie and him.

“I suppose I should put this steak away and turn in early. Thanks again, Reynolds. Good-night.”

He grabbed her elbow. Though she said nothing, the question in her eyes was as clear as if she'd spoken aloud. He answered her quietly. “I think you're right, darlin'.”

“About what?” She held the package of steak pressed against her belly. She appeared to be a fragile little thing, but he knew better now.

“About making them believe we're really married. We should spend a little more time together.” He grasped her shoulders and stepped closer, unable to hold back a grin. “We should act more like newlyweds.”

Her eyes widened. “But, I thought you said—?”

Josh chuckled. “You know, it's not every day I admit I was wrong. You'd best count yourself lucky and stop arguing.”

She laughed, a soft and feminine sound that tugged at his senses.

“They're all watching us, you know,” he warned.

“What?”

He anticipated her intentions and brought his palm up from her shoulder to cradle her cheek. The move prevented her from looking around them. “No, don't look. Let them watch.” He brushed his lips across her cheek and whispered in her ear. “I'm goin' to kiss you. Then you get in your wagon. I'll follow and stay till it's completely dark.”

Her breath caught, and a delightful blush stained her cheeks. “They'll think you've spent the night with me.”

“Just as a husband would.” He placed a chaste kiss on her sweet lips and released her face. She looked away quickly, but not before he caught the disappointment in her eyes. She'd expected a kiss like the one last night. And damn if he hadn't wanted the same thing.

Reluctantly, she turned and walked to her wagon. He followed a few paces behind her, unable to keep his eyes off the gentle sway of her hips. She climbed the wooden steps braced on the end and disappeared into the wagon. He paused long enough to scan the camp and the other wagons. Everything was as it should be. Mr. Adams still watched. Josh smiled, tipped his hat, and turned to climb into Addie's wagon.

An oil lamp flooded the wagon with light. Josh smiled. Oh, yes. Mr. Adams and the others were about see quite a show. There'd been several nights he'd watched Addie's silhouette undress and ready for bed. Now there would be two people in the little show. And he intended to make certain that no one doubted they were married.

She stood next to the bed. “How long do you think you'll need to stay?”

Josh removed his hat and placed it on a shelf not too far from the bed. “Long enough to make everyone believe we will spend tonight as husband and wife.” He reached up and brushed her cheek with the back of his fingers.

Her breath hitched, and she looked away, lowering her gaze, hiding her thoughts. “Reynolds. I….” She released a shaky breath. “You shouldn't touch me like that.”

He pushed away the satisfaction of knowing she wanted him. He shouldn't be glad she was so responsive to him. Maybe if she didn't like him it would be easier to ignore his body's need to take what she would, without doubt, sweetly surrender to him with no more than a gentle coaxing. “They're watching, Addie.”

Her eyes met his in disbelief. “Perhaps they were, but they can't see us now. There's no need to pretend now.”

He chuckled. “They can see our shadows clearly, darlin'.” Her eyes widened. “Anyone who looks this way can see us standing next to each other.” He leaned down to whisper in her ear. “Right now they probably think I'm kissing you.”

Her cheeks burned a rosy red. “You mean all this time everyone could see me?”

“Mmm hmm.” He lingered near her cheek and ear, breathing in her soft scent.

“But I never see anything in the other wagons. I can tell when their lamps are burning, but I can't see any distinct shapes.”

“Unlike the other wagons, yours is not stacked to the top with everything you own. Other than the shelves at the other end, you have nothing to block the view.” She leaned away from him, reaching for the lamp.

“No, no, Addie. Not yet.” He gathered her into his arms and held her tightly. Trailing kisses across her brow and down her cheek, he told himself he was only doing this to make things easier for Addie. He silently repeated the need to have the wagon train accept her. For many reasons, most importantly safety; it was crucial that everyone on the train watched out for each other. He and Jimmy were the only ones who kept an eye on Addie, and they might not always be available if she needed them. His lips found hers, and he tasted her sweet innocence. She whimpered, leaning into him, begging him to deepen the kiss. No man could have resisted her plea.

He ran his tongue across the seam of her lips. She opened her mouth immediately, an eager welcome for his intimate invasion. He delved into the warm cavern of her mouth, tasting the passion hidden beneath her proper exterior. She trembled in his arms as he stroked her tongue with his own, and she melted against him with a moan. Josh couldn't control his body's response. He grew hard, and he ached to peel away her dress and lay her down on the bed.

Struggling to maintain control, he dragged his lips from hers to taste the tender column of her throat. Addie leaned her head back in invitation. He was tempted to leave a mark there on her pale skin—brand her as his own. If he really were her husband that's just what he'd do. The corners of his mouth curved. Yes. That's exactly what he'd do. He opened his mouth against her neck. Her pulse raced against his lips and tongue. She squirmed against him. Soft whimpers teased him. Her fingers dug into his hair and pressed him closer.

His breathing became raspy and harsh. He needed to rein in the desire eroding his control. He lifted his head to examine his handiwork. A small but dark mark stained the skin just below her ear. It would only be darker by morning. Anyone who wasn't watching now would see the evidence on her neck and know they'd been together this evening.

He drew her down onto the bed, leaning over her, kissing her, careful to still his eager hands. He could not touch her. He'd never be able to stop if he did. And he was only doing this to help her, to make things easier for her.
Liar,
a little voice challenged. He wanted her. He wanted to kiss her, taste her. He wanted to touch her, and any excuse was enough.

Addie's hands skimmed across his back and down to his hips. The groan that escaped him wasn't strong enough to describe the torture of knowing he must deny himself what she offered. Josh reached out to grasp the key on the lamp and turned it down as low as it would burn.

He settled himself beside her on the bed. “No more, darlin'. If I don't stop now, there'll be no stoppin'.”

She sighed, snuggled against him, and laid her head on his chest. Within moments, her breathing slowed to a deep and even rhythm. Josh remained still and resisted the urge to explore the soft curves of her body. Having her there, asleep in his arms, made it difficult to convince his body that he didn't need her. For more than an hour, he held her and fought to calm his raging lust. Finally admitting defeat, he climbed from the bed. It would be impossible to rid himself of his straining erection with her body pressed next him. Her feminine scent drove him crazy.

Josh raked his fingers through his hair and turned back to take one last look at the woman who had turned his well-ordered life upside down. Her hand curled beneath her chin. Long, dark lashes lay peacefully against her cheeks. This woman was a danger to his sanity. He'd never met a woman so strong, so intelligent, or so determined. Once again, he reminded himself that she deserved a good husband.

He shook his head and reached for her boots, slipped them off her feet, and placed them beside the bed. He found an extra blanket and covered her, tucking the folds around her to keep her warm. The nights were getting colder. She'd need the heat. Josh blew out the lamp and gritted his teeth against the notion that he should stay and keep her warm. He couldn't be her husband. Damn her for making him want to try. He was a complete failure as a husband. Sarah could attest to that.