Wait For Me (7 page)

“Okay.” The agreement was offered reluctantly. She didn’t know what he was going to say but part of her didn’t care. The more they talked about it, the more real it became. Her blinders were off, ripped away by Dane and his words from earlier, but that didn’t mean she didn’t want to go back to not knowing, not realizing the danger Vin was in every day.

Pride in him, pride in his service to their country was nothing new. She’d always admired him and supported him and loved him for putting others above himself. He was made to be in the service, made for the military, made to save others who couldn’t save themselves, to fight for them when they needed someone stronger.

She just always thought he’d come home after the service. Not that he’d take on an even more dangerous job.

“You’re thinking. Your body is tense and tight. I love you, Mel. I’ve always loved you. You’re beautiful and bright and everything a man like me shouldn’t touch. But I can’t help myself. I was the boy from the wrong side of the tracks. I was born into a family of druggies and thieves. I didn’t want that for myself, ever. And then, the day I met you... Oh,
darlin
’. You’re the most precious thing in this world to me, and what I do, where I go, those I fight, are all for you, to protect you, to keep you just as you are. Safe, free, alive.”

“Vin—”

“Hush. You think it’s easy for me to do this, to leave you? Mel, it’s harder than anything else I do. I wish I could say my deeds and motives were more noble like world peace for the sake of world peace. Truth is, my motives have never been that magnanimous. You’re my reason and my motive, Mel. Always. The world is sick and ugly and cruel. I’ve seen it, I’ve stared it down, I’ve killed it and it keeps coming back. So I keep doing what I do with the hope that it never touches you. Dane had no right to dig into me, into my life, or to darken your eyes with pain and fear. And for that too, I’m sorry.”

He tangled his free hand in her hair and pulled her head back. For long moments, he simply looked at her, stared into her eyes, which she couldn’t help blinking because of the tears that kept pooling and falling. She’d never heard such sweetness, such sadness, such fierceness from Vin before. She was in awe of him.

“You must think me so silly.” She was embarrassed to utter the words but it had to be true. A silly little girl. Here she was, pining for him and pissed because he kept leaving her, and he was off being a hero and saving lives.

If she could have crawled away, she would have.

He leaned forward and kissed her tears where they rested on her eyelashes. He was so tough and so tender.

“You’re not silly and I’ve never once thought you were. You have the life I want you to have. You live happy and carefree and believe the world is a good and decent place because that’s what me and guys like me are trying to make it. You worry about me, you love me, and those things mean so much to me, baby. I’m sorry everyone looks at you with anything less than admiration. I never wanted that. I’ve never said the words because I didn’t want you wasting your life waiting, staring out the window, knowing there’s a possibility that I’ll…” He stopped, left the unspoken, the words they both felt in the silence. He took a deep breath and continued, his voice rougher. “You were so young when I left the first time and you’re still so young. You’ve got years ahead of you and God willing you’ll spend them with me. I’ve never asked, Mel, but at the same time, I’ve never set you free. I’ve never given you an out, but if you want—”

“No.” She dug her nails, such as they were, into his skin. “Never. I don’t want an out. I don’t want to be free of you.
Goddammit
, Vin... Don’t you get that?”

He smiled, predatory and possessive. “Yeah, baby girl, I do.”

They stared at one another. His blue eyes, dark with intensity and heat, burned through her. She’d see that look every time she closed her own from now on. It seemed they were at an impasse and she said the only thing she could think of to say. “You’re still hard.”

He smiled immediately and thrust against her. “I am. And you’re still wet, still fluttering every now and again.”

“Can’t help it.”

“Neither of us can, baby. You’re mine and I’m yours. Always been that way.”

“What do we do?” She’d been a girl when he first left, and when it came to him, it seemed she was still a girl. Military wives and girlfriends could handle the deployments and not hearing from their men for months. Mel wasn’t like that all the time. It took her awhile to get to that point, to settle into it. But there was more now, more than the military. There was a job that was just as, if not more dangerous that he was being offered. Some would think her naive, or feel sorry for her for having been in love with him for so long without the promise of forever. She didn’t care. She hated their looks of pity, sure, their sympathy at her tears when she missed him too much, when she was so pissed at him she could scream if only he were in earshot. He wasn’t a saint and never had been. She had no illusions. She didn’t doubt his integrity or his intentions.

“I want a life with you, Vin. That’s all I’ve ever wanted. How do I get that? How do I get you in my bed every night for the rest of my life? Tell me. Tell me what I have to do, where I have to go and I’ll do it. You’re in my blood and no one and nothing can ever take that away. I know it’s selfish of me to ask you to choose me. I know it’s selfish to want to take you away from the greater good. I won’t apologize for it though. I can’t. I’m greedy. I want you all to myself.” He started to speak in the space left when she paused to take a break, but she rushed the next words out before he could. “I didn’t think beyond where we were when you left. Yes, I knew you were going away and I knew what getting into bed with you meant. I didn’t know what I’d signed on for, though, not really. I didn’t know what life would be like with months between hearing from you or seeing you. I do now and protecting the country or not, I want you with me. I’m proud of you. I am, I swear. I’m... It’s fear talking. I know it is. It’s fear and need. I...”

It was incredibly selfish of her to take him away from the importance of what he did, of the sacrifices he made. She was torn between loving him and wanting to keep him, and knowing she really couldn’t. There was no way she’d be able to utter those words, not without her voice cracking, breaking. He did what he did because he believed in it. If she really believed in him, could she really do that to him? Make him leave it behind? Make him stop? Make him choose?

If she did, what did that say about her?

“You may not like me day in and day out anymore,” he said softly.

Well, that wasn’t what she was expecting him to say. She’d expected some sort of platitude, or an I don’t know, but not what actually came out of his mouth. She shrugged. “You may not like me day in and day out anymore either.”

“I can be a total bastard just hanging around, nothing to do.”

“I can be a total bitch when I don’t get my way.”

He grunted his agreement. “Yes, I’m sure you can but I know how to get you back in line.”

“And I know how to ease your restlessness.” At least she hoped she did. She really wasn’t all that sure, but she had to try, had to plead her case. How did she compete with the adrenaline rush he must live off of in order to do the jobs he had to do?

“What are you thinking?” he asked softly with a kiss to her lips. He let go of her wrists, and with a twinge of discomfort she moved them up and around his neck.

“I miss you when you’re gone. I know you miss me, too. We’ve been doing this for long enough that I know deep down inside you belong to me and nothing will ever change that. But, I—”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying go.” The words poured out of her mouth before she could stop herself and swallow them back down. They were the hardest words, cutting her insides like barbed wire. “Do what you have to do, live the life you have to live. Be who you have to be, just come back to me.”

“God, Mel... Hell itself couldn’t keep me.” His voice sounded as though he were chewing glass and he took her mouth in a harsh kiss. She held on to him as he plumbed every square inch
 
with his tongue. The fuck was frenzied, the kiss was, too. Her nails bit into his skin and scraped along it. With luck, she’d leave a mark for him, a reminder of this time, this moment.

He pressed his lips to her ear after kissing his way from her lips along her jaw up to tug on her earlobe. “Mel?” he whispered.

His breath was hot, steamy hot, and she shuddered in his arms. “Hmm?” Forming an actual word was out of the question. She was so far gone, so close to another orgasm that all she could focus on was his body, his smell, his voice, the steady slide of his cock, the feel of him with her.

“I love you. I don’t know what’s going to happen, how long I’ll be here this time, or how long I’ll be gone when I’m called in. I don’t know what I’ll do if I’m not doing this, if I’m not out fighting and trying to protect the only thing that matters in this world to me. I don’t know how to do much else. But, baby, I love you and we’ll work it out. Just give me a chance to work it out.”

Mel whimpered and buried her face where his neck met his shoulder and inhaled. Dirt, sweat, sex. She wanted to tell him she loved him, too, that she’d give him as many chances as he needed, but the ability to speak hadn’t returned so she nodded her agreement.

He gripped her ass, sliding his hands between her bottom and the workbench. The angle of his push was deeper and he rode the edge of her clit each time he was fully seated in her body. Jesus, she was going to be walking funny when he was done with her. It would be a miracle if she could walk at all.

“God, baby…”

She licked his neck, committing his taste to memory, again. They were a pair, for sure and she wouldn’t trade him for anyone. He set her body on fire then put out the flames. He loved her hard and often when he was home, and though when he left she felt the pain like a physical blow…

“Melody.”

He never said her full name. The way she never said his. They’d never needed more than the nicknames and shortened words and endearments. But now, his use of her name… She swallowed hard against the unknown.

“Wait for me.”

She whimpered and splintered around his cock. The orgasm rocked her full force into him but he held strong and kept stroking inside her, kept pushing and pulling, letting her ride it out. Those words repeated themselves over and over in her head.

“Wait for me,” he said again, this time taking control of her, holding her fast and hard as he pounded her into the work surface. It had to be crushing his knuckles but he only squeezed her ass cheeks tighter as he drilled her. She’d have bruises from his fingers but it was a small price to pay for the pleasure flowing through her.

Mel held on, his face now buried at the same spot on her that her face had been buried on him. He grunted against her skin and she felt the edges of his teeth as he nipped at her. She’d bear his marks, bites, rawness.

Then he seized up, tightened his grip on her, and lifted his head. He roared out her name and she looked up. The cords of muscle in his neck strained and his Adam’s apple bobbed when he swallowed hard. He dropped his gaze to hers and kissed her sweetly on the lips.

“Wait for me, Mel. No more other guys, no more being pissed at me, no more, please… You’re all I want. You’re all I need. Just... God, Mel. Give me... Fuck it. Just wait for me.” His eyes pleaded with her. His voice was raw with emotion. He was the most beautiful man in the world and she was, despite it all, the luckiest woman.

She’d let him go to do his duty, to finish what he’d started, and in the end, she’d welcome him back home.

“All you ever had to do was ask.”

About the Author

Born and raised in the South and currently living in North Carolina, talented, multi-published author,
Lissa
Matthews, has many loves in her life: Family, friends, NASCAR, football, music of all kinds, cooking,
BDSM
, penning stories filled with feisty heroines and naughty
heros
, and last, but certainly not least, coffee.