Waiting for Godot (2 page)

VLADIMIR:
What did we do yesterday?

ESTRAGON:
Yes.

VLADIMIR:
Why . . . (Angrily.) Nothing is certain when you're about.

ESTRAGON:
In my opinion we were here.

VLADIMIR:
(looking round). You recognize the place?

ESTRAGON:
I didn't say that.

VLADIMIR:
Well?

ESTRAGON:
That makes no difference.

VLADIMIR:
All the same . . . that tree . . . (turning towards auditorium) that bog . . .

ESTRAGON:
You're sure it was this evening?

VLADIMIR:
What?

ESTRAGON:
That we were to wait.

VLADIMIR:
He said Saturday. (Pause.) I think.

ESTRAGON:
You think.

VLADIMIR:
I must have made a note of it. (He fumbles in his pockets, bursting with
miscellaneous rubbish.)

ESTRAGON:
(very insidious). But what Saturday? And is it Saturday? Is it not rather Sunday?
(Pause.) Or Monday? (Pause.) Or Friday?

VLADIMIR:
(looking wildly about him, as though the date was inscribed in the landscape).
It's not possible!

ESTRAGON:
Or Thursday?

VLADIMIR:
What'll we do?

ESTRAGON:
If he came yesterday and we weren't here you may be sure he won't come again
today.

VLADIMIR:
But you say we were here yesterday.

ESTRAGON:
I may be mistaken. (Pause.) Let's stop talking for a minute, do you mind?

VLADIMIR:
(feebly). All right. (Estragon sits down on the mound. Vladimir paces agitatedly
to and fro, halting from time to time to gaze into distance off. Estragon falls
asleep. Vladimir halts finally before Estragon.) Gogo! . . . Gogo! . . . GOGO!
Estragon wakes with a start.

ESTRAGON:
(restored to the horror of his situation). I was asleep! (Despairingly.) Why will
you never let me sleep?

VLADIMIR:
I felt lonely.

ESTRAGON:
I had a dream.

VLADIMIR:
Don't tell me!

ESTRAGON:
I dreamt that�

VLADIMIR:
DON'T TELL ME!

ESTRAGON:
(gesture toward the universe). This one is enough for you? (Silence.) It's not nice
of you, Didi. Who am I to tell my private nightmares to if I can't tell them to you?

VLADIMIR:
Let them remain private. You know I can't bear that.

ESTRAGON:
(coldly.) There are times when I wonder if it wouldn't be better for us to part.

VLADIMIR:
You wouldn't go far.

ESTRAGON:
That would be too bad, really too bad. (Pause.) Wouldn't it, Didi, be really too
bad? (Pause.) When you think of the beauty of the way. (Pause.) And the
goodness of the wayfarers. (Pause. Wheedling.) Wouldn't it, Didi?

VLADIMIR:
Calm yourself.

ESTRAGON:
(voluptuously.) Calm . . . calm . . . The English say cawm. (Pause.) You know the
story of the Englishman in the brothel?

VLADIMIR:
Yes.

ESTRAGON:
Tell it to me.

VLADIMIR:
Ah stop it!

ESTRAGON:
An Englishman having drunk a little more than usual proceeds to a brothel. The
bawd asks him if he wants a fair one, a dark one or a red-haired one. Go on.

VLADIMIR:
STOP IT!
Exit Vladimir hurriedly. Estragon gets up and follows him as far as the limit of the
stage. Gestures of Estragon like those of a spectator encouraging a pugilist. Enter
Vladimir. He brushes past Estragon, crosses the stage with bowed head. Estragon
takes a step towards him, halts.

ESTRAGON:
(gently.) You wanted to speak to me? (Silence. Estragon takes a step forward.)
You had something to say to me? (Silence. Another step forward.) Didi . . .

VLADIMIR:
(without turning). I've nothing to say to you.

ESTRAGON:
(step forward). You're angry? (Silence. Step forward). Forgive me. (Silence. Step
forward. Estragon lays his hand on Vladimir's shoulder.) Come, Didi. (Silence.)
Give me your hand. (Vladimir half turns.) Embrace me! (Vladimir stiffens.) Don't
be stubborn! (Vladimir softens. They embrace. Estragon recoils.) You stink of
garlic!

VLADIMIR:
It's for the kidneys. (Silence. Estragon looks attentively at the tree.) What do we
do now?

ESTRAGON:
Wait.

VLADIMIR:
Yes, but while waiting.

ESTRAGON:
What about hanging ourselves?

VLADIMIR:
Hmm. It'd give us an erection.

ESTRAGON:
(highly excited). An erection!

VLADIMIR:
With all that follows. Where it falls mandrakes grow. That's why they shriek when
you pull them up. Did you not know that?

ESTRAGON:
Let's hang ourselves immediately!

VLADIMIR:
From a bough? (They go towards the tree.) I wouldn't trust it.

ESTRAGON:
We can always try.

VLADIMIR:
Go ahead.

ESTRAGON:
After you.

VLADIMIR:
No no, you first.

ESTRAGON:
Why me?

VLADIMIR:
You're lighter than I am.

ESTRAGON:
Just so!

VLADIMIR:
I don't understand.

ESTRAGON:
Use your intelligence, can't you?
Vladimir uses his intelligence.

VLADIMIR:
(finally). I remain in the dark.

ESTRAGON:
This is how it is. (He reflects.) The bough . . . the bough . . . (Angrily.) Use your
head, can't you?

VLADIMIR:
You're my only hope.

ESTRAGON:
(with effort). Gogo light�bough not break�Gogo dead. Didi heavy�bough
break�Didi alone. Whereas�

VLADIMIR:
I hadn't thought of that.

ESTRAGON:
If it hangs you it'll hang anything.

VLADIMIR:
But am I heavier than you?

ESTRAGON:
So you tell me. I don't know. There's an even chance. Or nearly.

VLADIMIR:
Well? What do we do?

ESTRAGON:
Don't let's do anything. It's safer.

VLADIMIR:
Let's wait and see what he says.

ESTRAGON:
Who?

VLADIMIR:
Godot.

ESTRAGON:
Good idea.

VLADIMIR:
Let's wait till we know exactly how we stand.

ESTRAGON:
On the other hand it might be better to strike the iron before it freezes.

VLADIMIR:
I'm curious to hear what he has to offer. Then we'll take it or leave it.

ESTRAGON:
What exactly did we ask him for?

VLADIMIR:
Were you not there?

ESTRAGON:
I can't have been listening.

VLADIMIR:
Oh . . . Nothing very definite.

ESTRAGON:
A kind of prayer.

VLADIMIR:
Precisely.

ESTRAGON:
A vague supplication.

VLADIMIR:
Exactly.

ESTRAGON:
And what did he reply?

VLADIMIR:
That he'd see.

ESTRAGON:
That he couldn't promise anything.

VLADIMIR:
That he'd have to think it over.

ESTRAGON:
In the quiet of his home.

VLADIMIR:
Consult his family.

ESTRAGON:
His friends.

VLADIMIR:
His agents.

ESTRAGON:
His correspondents.

VLADIMIR:
His books.

ESTRAGON:
His bank account.

VLADIMIR:
Before taking a decision.

ESTRAGON:
It's the normal thing.

VLADIMIR:
Is it not?

ESTRAGON:
I think it is.

VLADIMIR:
I think so too.
Silence.

ESTRAGON:
(anxious). And we?

VLADIMIR:
I beg your pardon?

ESTRAGON:
I said, And we?

VLADIMIR:
I don't understand.

ESTRAGON:
Where do we come in?

VLADIMIR:
Come in?

ESTRAGON:
Take your time.

VLADIMIR:
Come in? On our hands and knees.

ESTRAGON:
As bad as that?

VLADIMIR:
Your Worship wishes to assert his prerogatives?

ESTRAGON:
We've no rights any more?
Laugh of Vladimir, stifled as before, less the smile.

VLADIMIR:
You'd make me laugh if it wasn't prohibited.

ESTRAGON:
We've lost our rights?

VLADIMIR:
(distinctly). We got rid of them.
Silence. They remain motionless, arms dangling, heads sunk, sagging at the
knees.

ESTRAGON:
(feebly). We're not tied? (Pause.) We're not�

VLADIMIR:
Listen!
They listen, grotesquely rigid.

ESTRAGON:
I hear nothing.

VLADIMIR:
Hsst! (They listen. Estragon loses his balance, almost falls. He clutches the arm
of Vladimir, who totters. They listen, huddled together.) Nor I.
Sighs of relief. They relax and separate.

ESTRAGON:
You gave me a fright.

VLADIMIR:
I thought it was he.

ESTRAGON:
Who?

VLADIMIR:
Godot.

ESTRAGON:
Pah! The wind in the reeds.

VLADIMIR:
I could have sworn I heard shouts.

ESTRAGON:
And why would he shout?

VLADIMIR:
At his horse.
Silence.

ESTRAGON:
(violently). I'm hungry!

VLADIMIR:
Do you want a carrot?

ESTRAGON:
Is that all there is?

VLADIMIR:
I might have some turnips.

ESTRAGON:
Give me a carrot. (Vladimir rummages in his pockets, takes out a turnip and
gives it to Estragon who takes a bite out of it. Angrily.) It's a turnip!

VLADIMIR:
Oh pardon! I could have sworn it was a carrot. (He rummages again in his
pockets, finds nothing but turnips.) All that's turnips. (He rummages.) You must
have eaten the last. (He rummages.) Wait, I have it. (He brings out a carrot and
gives it to Estragon.) There, dear fellow. (Estragon wipes the carrot on his sleeve
and begins to eat it.) Make it last, that's the end of them.

ESTRAGON:
(chewing). I asked you a question.

VLADIMIR:
Ah.

ESTRAGON:
Did you reply?

VLADIMIR:
How's the carrot?

ESTRAGON:
It's a carrot.

VLADIMIR:
So much the better, so much the better. (Pause.) What was it you wanted to
know?

ESTRAGON:
I've forgotten. (Chews.) That's what annoys me. (He looks at the carrot
appreciatively, dangles it between finger and thumb.) I'll never forget this carrot.
(He sucks the end of it meditatively.) Ah yes, now I remember.

VLADIMIR:
Well?

ESTRAGON:
(his mouth full, vacuously). We're not tied?

VLADIMIR:
I don't hear a word you're saying.

ESTRAGON:
(chews, swallows). I'm asking you if we're tied.

VLADIMIR:
Tied?

ESTRAGON:
Ti-ed.

VLADIMIR:
How do you mean tied?

ESTRAGON:
Down.

VLADIMIR:
But to whom? By whom?

ESTRAGON:
To your man.