Waiting for Him (Waiting Series Book 3) (20 page)

      “Hello,” I say cautiously as I wonder who could possibly be calling me on Jake’s phone.

      “Shelby.” I’m greeted by Garrett’s voice, but his tone is curt.

      “Garrett what’s wrong?” I rub my hand over my face trying to wake myself up.

      “What’s wrong is that you were supposed to be here so I could bring Liam home. I told you I had somewhere to be and I needed to bring him back early.”

      “Shit! I’m so sorry Garrett. I’ll be home in like ten minutes, just sit tight.” I hang up the phone before he can argue and jump out of Jake’s bed. I’m standing here butt naked and my clothes are nowhere in sight.

      “Where are my clothes?” Jake snickers.

      “In the living room where we took them off.”

      “Fuck.” I hurry from his room not even caring that I’m bare-assed. All I can think of his how I forgot all about my son coming home early. I shake my head in anger at myself as I hurriedly throw my clothes and shoes on. I feel like such a dirty girl with these stilettos on. Tell me they don’t scream the walk of shame.

      I’m about to walk out his door when I realize that I don’t have my car. I turn around to yell his name, but he’s already standing there with his keys in his hand.

      “You need a ride.” He raises one eyebrow sardonically.

      “Yes please.” He gestures with his hand for me to walk in front of him as we leave his apartment.

      When we get to his car, he opens my door for me, like the gentleman I know he is. Jake has so many great qualities about him.
Add sex god to that list.

      “Were you even going to say goodbye?” He asks when we’ve been driving for a couple of minutes. I probably wouldn’t have. I was so focused on getting home, I was ready to run out the door.

      “I don’t know Jake, probably not. I was in a bit of a panic after Garrett’s call and I was completely focused on getting home. I’m sorry for that, but this is how my life is now. Last night was amazing, but I’ll have to live on those memories for a long time. This girl isn’t me.” I gesture from my head to my toes with my hand.

      “Last night was just me trying to be something I’m not. I’m sorry that you got caught up in the middle of it all, but I’m not sorry that we finally had sex. Now we can put that to rest and go back to being friends.” The muscles in his jaw clench as he shuts the car off and reaches for the handle on his door. I know he’s upset with me and I understand why, but there’s no need to drag this out any longer.

      “No, don’t. You stay here. Thanks for the ride home and thanks for all the fun we had, at the bar and your house.” I blush a little at the thought of him spanking my ass and what came after that. “I had a great time, but reality calls now.” My smile is stiff, mostly because I’m trying not to cry in front of him. I step out of his car and as I go to shut the door, I look at Jake, really look at him, because I know I’m going to do my best to avoid seeing him for a long time. I tip my chin up at him.

      “I’ll see you around.” I slam the door and as I turn to walk away, I’m struck with a wave of sadness and longing for something that can never be.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Jake

      Goddamnit, that woman is stubborn as a mule. My fingers clench on the smooth, black leather of my steering wheel as I make the drive back to my apartment. When she got out of my car, it felt more like a final goodbye masquerading as an I’ll see you around. My stomach felt a little nauseous at that moment and I was tempted to throw her back in my car and drive away with her. She’s crazy if she thinks I’m going to let her walk away just like that.
Not fucking likely.
Especially after last night. Sex with Shelby surpassed anything I could’ve even imagined. We fit together so perfectly and I don’t mean my tab fit her slot. I’m talking about connecting with someone so completely it’s almost as if the two of you are existing on another plane. She and I click in all the best ways possible and I know that this kind of connection doesn’t come around more than once in your life. I refuse to let her cast what we have aside. She can run from what we could be, but she can’t hide from it. Sooner or later she’s going to come to the realization that we could have something spectacular together. I have to believe she will…

Chapter Thirty

Shelby

     
When I open the door to my apartment, I find Garrett sitting on my couch watching ESPN. I kick off my shoes and hang my jacket on one of the wall hooks next to the door. I walk over to him and sit down on the other end of the couch, angling my body to face him.

      “Is Liam down for his nap already?” He nods his head but remains silent. This isn’t like him, so I’m assuming he’s mad at me.

“Are you angry with me for being late?” He crosses his arms over his chest and turns his head to look at me.

      “I’m disappointed that the one time I needed you to be here earlier than usual, you couldn’t do that for me. I don’t ask for much Shelby. I try not to intrude in your life and I try to be respectful by not coming over here every day when that’s all I want to do. I want to see my son all the time.” I stare down at the couch because I can’t bear to look into his eyes and see the disappointment reflected there.

“I hope you had a good time last night.” He says and I don’t think he’s being sarcastic, but my head snaps up to see just in case. I only see sincerity reflected back at me when I look at him.
      “I had a great time last night, but it was just one night. It can’t happen again.”

      “Why can’t it happen again?” He leans forward in his seat, resting his elbows on his legs.

      “Well, clearly the whole fiasco of forgetting to come home this morning is one part. The major reason is that I seem to lose every person I love and I don’t want to lose Jake. I’d rather walk away from him now and salvage our friendship than to lose him completely when our relationship ends.”

      “When did you become such a pessimist? You’re not even in a relationship with him yet and you’re already planning its demise. What the hell Shelby? Has Jake done anything to deserve your doubt? Has he hurt you emotionally?” I shake my head. “Physically?” He watches me carefully.

      “No! Jake would never do anything to hurt me in any way.”

      “Does he have a tiny penis?” I laugh at this question.

      “Hell no!” Garrett smiles at me.

      “So he must be a dud in bed then.” I laugh again and shake my head.

      “No, the sex was amazing, but I’m so afraid to take a chance on a relationship and I have Liam to think about. What if it doesn’t work out?”

      “Shelby, Liam is only a small baby now, he’s not going to notice if you’re dating someone. In fact, this is probably the best time to do it. If it doesn’t work out, it won’t affect Liam at all and if it works out Jake’s always been a part of his life and that’s all that he’ll have known.”

      “It doesn’t matter anyway. Jake can say that he wants sex only, but there’s no way to keep feelings from bleeding through.” Garrett looks at me as if I’m speaking gibberish.

      “What? Why are you looking at me like I’m speaking in tongues or something?”

      “You just said the sex was great, so why wouldn’t you want to do it again?”

      “I just don’t.”

      “Shelby, what’s going on here? Talk to me. Why don’t you want to sleep with Jake again?”

      “I care about Jake, and the sex was amazing, but I don’t think I can stop missing Jeff, and I don’t want to use Jake as a space holder. I can’t see myself falling for anyone else and I know he’s going to want to be more than friends with me. What if I start to have feelings for Jake too? I don’t need that complication; I’m trying to protect my heart, Garrett. Is that so wrong?” My eyes well with tears and I turn my head hoping he won’t notice. But of course, he does, this is Garrett after all. He’s the perfect guy in every way and I’m probably the only woman in the universe that wouldn’t want to be with him.

      He scoots over next to me and pulls me into his arms. The familiar scent of his cologne is comforting to me as is his hand moving soothingly up and down my back. My arms clench his waist as I continue to cry for the relationship that Jake and I will never have. I know I’m doing the right thing and last night is the perfect example of why things have to be this way. Jake’s one of those larger than life guys and if I get caught up in him, I’ll forget the rest of the world. Hell, he made me forget about my son this morning. I don’t know if that says more about what a great guy he is or what a shitty mother I am, but I’m going to do better moving forward.
I have to.

     
Garrett left a short while after my meltdown, but he stayed long enough to make sure I wasn’t an emotional mess. He’s so damn sweet.
Why can’t he be the one for me?
I swear the universe has it out for me when it comes to my love life. Now that Garrett and I are free to be with each other and there are no obstacles in the way, I realize that I only want to be friends with him.
What the ever loving fuck is wrong with me?

      Maybe I’m fickle. Maybe I just love the chase. Maybe I’m a commitment phob and never realized it. Maybe I’m meant to be in a trio relationship because I’ve loved two guys at the same time. Maybe I’m in love with love. Maybe I only love what I can’t have. Maybe it’s impossible to satisfy me.

      I have exhausted every possible reason I can for why I’m not relationship material and I can’t seem to come up with anything concrete.
Maybe I’m just meant to be alone. 

              ***

I’m sitting on my couch watching some mindless t.v. when there’s a knock at my door. I open it up expecting to see Garrett standing there, but he’s not. It’s Jake. His hands are in the front pockets of his jeans and the Red Sox hoodie he’s wearing makes his shoulders look impossibly broad. A memory of his naked chest pressed against my back as he thrusts inside me flashes in my mind before I can control it.

      “Hi,” I say, feel unsure of where we stand.

      “Hi,” He says his expression serious and not like I’ve ever seen before.

“Can I come in for a minute?” He asks, and I step back and gesture for him to enter. As I close and lock the door, I tell him to have a seat on the couch. When I join him, I’m afraid to glance up and meet his eyes with mine. I’m fearful of what I’ll see. Does he hate me now? Is he sorry that we had sex? I want to ask him why he’s here, but I think I may be incapable of speech right now.

      “I’m sure you’re wondering why I’m here. I was pretty mad about the way you left things this morning. You couldn’t get away from me fast enough and I know part of that was because you needed to be at home, but I also know I deserve to be treated better than how you treated me. We’re friends above everything else, but it sure didn’t seem like it. I’m getting pretty tired of you shutting me out and just deciding that you’re done with me. Well, guess what? I’m not done with you.” He surprises me by pulling me toward him and when I raise my head to see what he’s doing, his lips capture mine in a heated kiss. He lifts me over his lap so I’m now straddling his thighs as our mouths remain locked together. I can taste a faint hint of spearmint on his tongue as it tangles with mine. He turns to the side and lays me on my back with the soft cushion of the couch beneath me. Warm hands trail under my tee shirt and up my bare stomach to caress my bare breasts. He groans into my mouth as he tweaks both of my nipples. He pushes my shirt up and our lips part as he tears it off over my head. He looks down at me, his eyes a dark blue like the night sky.

      “You’re so fucking perfect.” He says right before taking my nipple in his mouth. I gasp at the first contact of his hot tongue on my skin and raise my hips reflexively toward him. His mouth moves toward the other breast and before he closes his mouth around the peak, he whispers to me.

      “I know what you need.” The sensation of his large hand sliding down inside the front of my loose, drawstring pants is almost more than I can bear. My breath hitches in anticipation as I wait for his fingers to make contact with my most intimate parts and when they do I cry out from the overwhelming pleasure they create. His mouth continues to explore my breasts as his fingers play me like an instrument. He moves his lips back up to taste mine and he swallows my cries from the release he’s brought me to.

      Before I can even catch my breath he has my pants off and my legs are over his shoulders.

      “I have to taste your pussy. I’ve been dreaming about it for weeks.” He licks back and forth along the length of my slit, groaning as he does. “Goddamn, you taste good.” His voice is muffled as he buries his face in my core. There’s nothing hotter than knowing the guy I’m being intimate with loves the way I taste and if he actually enjoys going down on me, there’s nothing better.

      Jake’s tongue is slowly circling my clit until he takes it between his lips, gently sucking on it. That combined with his fingers buried inside me sends me into another earth shattering orgasm.
Jeeezus, he has a talented tongue.
As I come down from the unbelievable high, he strips off his clothes. He pulls me toward him, gripping my legs and thrusts inside me without warning. One of the hottest things about sex with Jake is his confidence. He takes what he wants without hesitation and that take charge manner of his is fucking sexy, especially combined with the dirty things he says.

      “After last night this pussy is mine and I’m going to fuck you so hard you’re never going to forget again.” He pushes my knees to my chest and it makes his cock go impossibly deep. He slams inside me over and over and I know I’m going to be sore from this but in a good way. It’s only a minute more before Jake is groaning out my name with his release.

     I’m still in a bit shock as Jake gets off of me. A gush of fluid leaves my body and it prompts me to jump up and run in the bathroom.
Fuck.
As I clean up, I berate myself for having sex with Jake again. Not only that, but we didn’t use a condom either time and that’s just plain dumb. I open up my medicine cabinet and double check to make sure I haven’t missed any of my birth control pills. I don’t need to get pregnant and have another baby daddy to deal with.

      I glance at my reflection in the mirror, noting my flushed cheeks, swollen lips, and tousled hair. Yep, I look like I just got royally fucked.
What am I going to do about Jake?
Maybe if I stay in here long enough, he’ll leave...no such luck. I need to put my big girl panties on and talk to him.
I really need to put some clothes on.
I grab my robe from the hook on the back of the bathroom door and slip it on. It only comes to mid-thigh, when it’s belted, but it’s better than being naked.

      When I leave the bathroom, I’m thankful when I notice that Jake has his clothes back on. It would have been really difficult to have a serious conversation with him and not lose focus staring at his chiseled physique. It’s bad enough I now know what’s hidden under his clothes.

       I walk over to him and take a seat on the couch, keeping some distance between us.

      “We need to talk,” I begin. “Both times we had sex you didn’t wear a condom. I’m back on the pill now that I’m no longer nursing, but what if I wasn’t Jake? Hell, I got pregnant with Liam when I was on the pill.”

      “I didn’t plan not to wear a condom, it just happened in the heat of the moment.” He shrugs.

      “Well, do you make a habit of getting caught up in the moment and not wearing one?” He shakes his head.

      “I’ve never gone without a condom before. I swear to you; I always practice safe sex. I also haven’t been with anyone in over a year and I just got a clean bill of health at my last physical.” I’m relieved at this news and I can’t get over the fact that he hasn’t been with anyone sexually in over a year. How is that even possible? He’s a gorgeous guy and he has a history of being a ladies man. I wonder what prompted him to change his ways? While I’m having this inner dialogue with myself, the quiet is stretching between us and it’s getting more awkward by the moment. I can barely look at Jake, and I feel half naked in my robe.
I am half naked in my robe.

      “So are we going to address the elephant in the room or what?” He asks with a grin on his lips. I smile and nod waiting for him to take the lead.

      “I think that we should have sex again...soon...maybe even tonight.”
Wow
. That wasn’t what I expected him to say at all. I know my expression is skeptical and he recognizes it for what it is.

      “The chemistry we have is off the charts, the sex is the best of my life and I want to continue getting naked with you. I’d be a fool if I didn’t.”

      He does make a good point. The sex was fantastic and if we can keep it sex only I think this could work out well for both of us. Funny how quickly my mind is changing now that I’ve had a reminder of how amazing our chemistry is.

      “Okay, here’s the deal. You and I have sex two nights a week, no strings, no sleepovers. Just wham bam thank you, ma'am. There’s no negotiating for more nights, no drunken booty calls and no showing up unannounced. We don’t go on dates and we aren’t a couple. We are friends that fuck, that is all.” I cock my eyebrow and look at him while I wait for him to say something.

      “I’m fine with all of that.” He says with a huge smile on his face.

      “Should we shake on it?” I ask and hold out my hand.

      “I have a better idea,” He says, pulling me in for a scorching kiss.