Waiting for Love ((Waiting) Book 2) (6 page)

     “Hey, I’m going to use the bathroom. I’ll be right back.” As I work my way through the mass of bodies, I make eye contact with Hailey and tip my head in the direction I’m going. She whispers in Lee’s ear and I see him hand her something before she starts heading the same way as me. We meet up in the hall and Hailey takes my arm, tugging me along, past the line of girls waiting to use the bathroom.

“Hailey, I need to pee,” I mention and try to slow down our forward progress.

“I know you do. Lee gave me the key to his room and he has an ensuite you can use. This way we don’t have to wait in line.”

“Awesome.” We stop in front of the last door on the left and Hailey uses the key he gave her to unlock it. The room is large and fairly clean, considering a twenty-year-old guy lives in it. There’s a queen size bed with a black and red comforter on it. I gesture toward the bed with my head and waggle my eyebrows at Hailey.

“This is where the magic happens,” I say with a laugh. Hailey snorts out loud.

“There won’t be any magic happening there tonight, at least not with me.”

“Hails, why don’t you give the guy a break. Throw him a crumb for God’s sake. He must have blue balls from you by now. You don’t have to fuck him, but you can fool around with him. Let the boy have some fun. It’s time to leave the convent you’ve been in for the past two years and rejoin the real world.”

“Remind me why I’m friends with you again?” Hailey asks drolly as I turn the bathroom light on.

“Because I’m awesome and you’re hoping someday my awesomeness will rub off on you.” I stick my tongue out at her as I close the bathroom door.

    Looking in the mirror, I notice how flushed my cheeks are. This always happens to me when I drink tequila. I should try to remember that because it’s not a flattering look. The only saving grace is that the lighting is dim inside this frat house, so it won’t be noticeable once I rejoin the party. I splash a little cold water on them and hope it helps to diminish the redness.

    When I come out of the bathroom, Hailey is laying on Lee’s bed.

“What are you testing it out before you decide if you’ll sleep over?” She lifts her hand up off the comforter and flashes me the bird, before sitting up.

“Actually, I got tired of waiting on your ass. It’s been a long day. I think I’m going to tell Lee I want to head back to our apartment.”

“Do you want me to stay with Jeff so you can have our place all to yourselves?” Hailey shakes her head at me and looks pensive for a moment.

“I’m not ready to have sex with him yet. It’s a big step and at this point, I’m just not willing to go there. I may have him sleep over but sleeping is probably all that will be going on.”

    We stayed at the party for another hour or so until Jeff ended up drinking more than he should’ve. We brought him home with us, and Lee helped me get him in my bed. I grabbed some ibuprofen from the medicine cabinet and a bottle of water to put on the nightstand next to him. I have a feeling he’s going to wake up with a massive hangover. I climb into bed next to him, even though we never spend the night together. I’m not missing out on my bed because he was too drunk to go home. It’s not like I’m going to snuggle up against him all night long. I like my own space in my relationships and my bed.

    In the morning, I wake before everyone else does so I decide to be nice and make bacon and eggs. I swear the smell of bacon has magical qualities because it can lure even the heaviest of sleepers or the most hungover person to the table within minutes. By the time I finish cooking the food, Hailey, Lee and Jeff are all sitting around the table.

“Jeff, how are you feeling this morning?” I ask as I place a bowl of scrambled eggs on the table.

“I’m surprisingly well for how many shots I did at the end of the night. I don’t remember much after that.” He rubs his hand over the scruff on his jaw trying to look sheepish, but we all know it’s an act, so we laugh.

“I was definitely surprised when I woke up in your bed this morning. There’s a first time for everything, I guess. Had I known all it took was getting drunk for you to let me sleep over, I would’ve done that a long time ago.” He whacks me on the ass as I place a platter of bacon on the table. I grab his hand and bend his wrist back until he cries uncle.

“You forget I grew up in a house full of boys. My brothers are all older than me and they made sure I can take care of myself. Right Hailey?” I try to draw her into the conversation. She and Lee have both been silent since they sat down at the table and things seem strained between them.

     “Yeah, Shelby’s brothers are no joke. They put us both through some serious self-defense training before we started college. I didn’t think the bruises they gave me were ever going to go away. God that was a horrible time.” She shakes her head as she butters some toast. I know she’s lost in thoughts of Marcus and Cory and the summer it all went to shit. I glance up at Lee and he seems lost in his thoughts too. Every once in a while, he glances up at Hailey but she won’t even look at him. This is not good.

     “Lee, how are you feeling this morning? Are you hungover at all?” He shakes his head as he chews his bacon.

“No, I really didn’t drink that much. I didn’t want to be drunk when I was on a date with Hailey.” He smiles at her but she barely looks up at him. I kick her under the table and make my eyes wide at her, trying to get her to snap out of this horrible funk she’s in. It must work because she looks over at Lee and smiles at him.

“I appreciate you not getting drunk on our date. I find intoxicated guys so sloppy and annoying. No offense Jeff.” She smirks as she says it.

“You’re not offending me, Hailey. I know that I’m sexy and adorable even when I’m drunk.” He flashes us his killer grin and I snort at his ridiculousness.

“Yeah Jeff, you looked really sexy when we had to drag you here and put you to bed. I could barely control myself. I had to remind myself not to take advantage of you in your sexy incapacitated state.” Lee barks out a laugh at my reply.

“You know you are pretty sexy when you’re drunk.” Lee pauses for effect. “I felt a little pull between us. A little sexual awareness when you had your arm wrapped around my shoulder and I was dragging your heavy ass up the stairs.” We all share a laugh at Jeff’s expense.

    Once breakfast is over Hailey and I clean off the table and load the dishwasher. Jeff goes back to my room to lay down for a little while longer. He and Lee have a meeting with their football team this afternoon and I guess the coach is a real ball buster. Jeff wants to be fresh for it so he doesn’t get chewed out in front of the entire team. As the quarterback it’s his responsibility to know the plays inside and out.

    Lee’s taking a shower in Hailey’s bathroom so I take the opportunity to ask her what the hell is going on?

“He’s mad at me because he asked me to be his girlfriend and I said no.” She chews on her lip as she gets tears in her eyes.
“Hailey, Lee seems like a really great guy. Jeff has only nice things to say about him and I know he’s been nothing but sweet to you. So what’s the problem girlie? Sooner or later, you’re going to have to let someone in.”

“I know this, I really do. Mentally, I’m not quite there yet and I can’t force myself to be ready for something when I’m just not.”

“So where did you guys leave things?”

“He was pissed off and we didn’t talk about it after that. He didn’t say he wants to keep dating me and I’m not going to beg him to continue on the way things are. If he doesn’t want to give me more time, then he doesn’t care about me that much after all. How he handles this will be a good indication of what he’s really like.”

“Good luck sweetie. I hope you get what you want. Just don’t be too hasty Hailey. He seems like a really solid guy.”

     As soon as both of the guys have left I get busy doing some work for school.  Professor Hanlon gave us a poetry assignment and it’s due tomorrow. I’ve been putting it off for two days now. I am not a fan of writing poetry and I’m not very good at it. We have to write a poem about a first love. It can be anything that relates to first love. It can be one line or fifty lines long.

    Austin, my first love, broke my heart and I can’t say I want to be writing a poem about him. We began dating the summer before we were seniors in high school and we were together until he ended it...abruptly. We’d talked about staying in our relationship when we started college because he was going to another university that was nearby, so we would still be able to see each other. Everything seemed fine until the night before I was leaving for school. He came over to say goodbye and broke up with me...he never called me again.

    I close my eyes and try to organize my thoughts so I can tackle this assignment. I place my fingers on the keyboard and wait for the first line to come to me.

You were my first love and together we were perfect.

We held hands, your large palm cradling mine, making me feel special.

When you kissed me gently on our first date, I knew at that moment we were more than ordinary.

When you kissed me passionately on our second date, I knew at that moment, together we would be extraordinary.

You shared your dreams with me and they became my dreams too.

When you held me in your arms, you made me feel safe.

You told me you’d wait forever to make me yours.

You listened to my hopes and dreams and made me believe they could happen.

When you made me yours...you did so, tenderly and lovingly.

When you told me you loved me, I knew I loved you too.

When you said I was your girl, I believed you.

When you said you’d love me always...always turned out to be three hundred and eighty days.

You walked away from me with no warning and never looked back.

You were my first love and together we were perfect...until we weren’t.

    God, I hate thinking about that period in my life. I wonder if it was all a big sham and Austin was just playing the part of the doting boyfriend. Was he laughing at me the entire time or was there a point where he actually did care about me? I most likely will never know the answers to those questions, but he did teach me a valuable lesson. I trusted him enough to give him my heart and I won’t be making that mistake again. I’m not the naive little girl I was back then. He made me who I am...jaded and closed off. That’s why my sex-only relationship with Jeff works so well for me. I can’t get hurt and it’s all about having fun. When it’s not fun anymore, our arrangement will end and I’ll find someone else who’s willing to take his place.

Chapter Six

Mid October 2012

    I’m sitting next to Jeff, in our creative writing class, drinking the pumpkin spice coffee, he brought me when Professor Hanlon walks in. A hush falls over students gathered there. It’s as if a rock star just entered the room and all the females are waiting with bated breath. These girls are so pathetic and transparent.

    Things have settled down between the professor and I. He hasn’t cornered me in the hall or called for me to stay after class. I still feel the attraction toward him but it’s been nice not to have him on my mind so much. It’s much easier to keep a hot guy out of your thoughts when you only see them from a distance and they’re not giving you the best orgasm of your life.

    Class passes by relatively fast and as a bonus, Professor Hanlon hasn’t called attention to me, in any way. As I begin to pack up my laptop, he makes an announcement.

“Students, please come up to my desk and pick up your graded poems on your way out.” Jeff and I grab our bags and make our way into the long line of students waiting to get their papers. As we move along slowly I can feel my stomach clenching with nerves; all because I will be near
him
. The closer we get to the front of the line, the more severe the nausea becomes. I sense the pull of energy between us almost as if we’re trapped in some sort of magnetic field. By the time I’m at the front of the line, I’ve broken out in a cold sweat and my legs are unsteady. I take a deep breath and look up at Professor Hanlon as he searches the remaining papers for mine. He’s wearing gray cargo pants and a black polo. The shirt is snug across his broad chest and shoulders and I notice a hint of a black tattoo peeking out the bottom of his short sleeve. I can’t make out what it is and I’m both curious and surprised that he has permanently inked his body. He doesn’t seem like the type. When I’m finished checking out his bulging muscles, I look up to find him smirking at me. He’s holding my paper in his hand, waiting for me to take it from him. How embarrassing that he caught my perusal. This will only make his over-inflated ego, impossibly larger. I reach out my hand and snatch my paper from his grasp without looking at him again. As I turn to walk in the direction of the door, I notice he’s written “see me after class” in red pen on my paper
.
This is the last thing I fucking need. In the name of self-preservation, I decide to ignore his note and instead, I walk out of the room.

     I have a break for a while so I practically run to my car trying for a quick escape in case he comes after me. As I’m backing out of my space, he exits the building. I can see his eyes scouring the parking lot and if I had to guess, I’d say he’s looking for me. I’m closer than he realizes and by the time he notices me I’m shifting my car into drive. Gauging solely from the expression on his face, he isn’t pleased with me right now. Oh well, I have to do what’s right for me and that means staying away from him. If he needs to communicate with me, he can send me an email. To add fuel to the fire, I wave at him as I drive off.

***

     I’m sitting on my couch, my glass of white wine in hand, enjoying The Vampire Diaries episodes that Hailey and I have DVR’d. I haven’t had a chance to watch any of them since this season began and I need to catch up on what the Salvatore brothers have been up to. It feels good to have the apartment to myself. Hailey is out for the night with Lee. I’m not sure how that came about but I’m glad it did. I take a sip of wine and savor the flavor on my tongue. I’m not a wine aficionado by any means, but I know which ones I like. I stick with what I’m familiar with. We drank a lot of wine in my house when I was growing up. My dad had a philosophy that if alcohol were available at home, we wouldn’t seek it out elsewhere. It seemed to work because none of my brothers or I have drinking problems...I just have relationship problems.
That’s a
depressing thought.
I need more wine
. I refill my glass from the bottle on the coffee table and focus on the television.

     I hear a knock on our door and when I look through the peephole, I see it’s Professor Hanlon.
What the fuck?
It’s ten o’clock at night...what is he doing here? He knocks again and I’m so tempted to ignore it.

“Shelby, I know you’re in there. Let me in.” He sounds angry and that doesn’t make me eager to invite him inside, but I have a feeling the situation will escalate unless I do. I unlock the bolt and open the door to find him standing with his hands in his jean pockets. He’s wearing a Beacon University sweatshirt and he looks young; more like a student than a professor. I remain in the doorway, blocking him from entering.

“Shelby, can I please come in?” He asks in a much nicer tone than he used previously. I step back and gesture with my arm for him to enter. I’m going to need more wine to get through this, it’s only polite if I offer him some too.

“Would you like some wine or a beer?”

“I’d love a beer
.
”

“Have a seat,” I say tipping my head in the direction of our living room. As I open the refrigerator and feel the cold air, it occurs to me, that I’m only wearing a white camisole and Red Sox drawstring pajama bottoms. My nipples are clearly visible through my top but there’s not much I can do about it now. All I can do is hope that he says his peace and gets out of here soon.

    He’s seated in the middle of the couch so no matter where I sit, he’ll be next to me.
Great.
I hand him his beer and pick up my wine glass, refilling it before I lower myself to the cushion next to him.

“So what brings you to my neck of the woods at this time of night, Professor?” I raise an eyebrow at him in question before drinking a gulp of my wine. I need all the fortitude I can get.

“Call me Garrett, we’re not at school now. I asked you to stay after class today and you didn’t.” He shrugs his shoulders like it should be obvious to me, before taking a sip of beer from his bottle.

“Do you make late night visits to the apartments of every student that doesn’t do what you want or am I just lucky?” I ask, in a sarcastic tone of voice.

“Shelby, I think you know the answer to that question. This is the first time I’ve done anything like this. Why didn’t you stay after class? If you had, we could’ve avoided all this.” I take another sip of my wine and gather my thoughts before answering. I place my glass down on the coffee table, to delay answering. I decide to be blunt about the reason, so he can’t misconstrue what I’m saying.

“I didn’t wait around because I don’t want to be near you. I’m trying to keep my distance and I really wish you’d cooperate with me. We need to stay away from each other and it’s much easier to do that if we’re not alone at any time. Garrett, we’re on the verge of crossing lines that can’t be uncrossed. I’ve worked too hard to put my future in jeopardy over some hot sex. I can get that anywhere.” He takes another long sip from his bottle before carefully placing it down on the coffee table. He angles his body to face mine, gripping both of my hips in his hands and pulling me into his lap as if I’m light as a feather. I gasp in surprise and before I can push off of his chest, he’s covered my mouth with his. His tongue pushes past my lips, demandingly as his hands grip both sides of my head, holding me in place. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him closer to me as I realize there’s no way to resist him or his kiss. Once I mentally surrender and admit to myself that I do in fact want to be doing this, I shift my weight until I’m straddling his lap. He pushes his hips up against me and I can feel that he wants me, just as much as I want him. I roll my pelvis into his and as our tongues continue to tangle, I can taste the beer he just drank. He pulls away, sucking on my lower lip, before releasing it.    

     “As much as I’d like to continue on with what we were doing, we need to talk first,” He says his hands on my arms, keeping me still.

“Okay.” I can’t say I’m not disappointed that he put a stop to our kissing, but I do agree that we need to discuss some things.

“From the moment we crashed into each other, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you. I was literally speechless at the first glimpse of your beautiful face. The chemistry between us is incredibly strong and I’ve never experienced anything like it before. I’m insane with wanting you and it’s all I can do to control my lustful urges during class.” He pauses and runs his fingers through his hair. I giggle out loud, causing him to quirk his eyebrow, questioningly.

“Lustful urges? It sounds like a bad line from some historical romance.” He digs his fingertips into my side to tickle me.

“Are you making fun of me?” He continues to tickle me making me giggle.

“Maybe.” I grab his hands, interlacing our fingers together as I wait for him to continue our conversation.

“I know we barely know each other, but for some reason, it’s as though I’ve known you forever. I want to learn everything about you, take you on romantic dates and buy you beautiful things. I’m not usually one for being in a relationship, but I really want to explore what this connection between us is all about. Will you let me take you out on a date...no expectations...just see where it goes and after that we can figure out the rest?” I chew on my bottom lip, lost in my chaotic thoughts. Should I say yes? What should I do about Jeff? How can I even think about getting involved with my professor? All these questions are whirling around in my mind when I answer him.

“Yes. I’d love to go on a date with you Garrett, but I also have to be honest with you. I’m not a relationship type girl unless you’re talking about a sex-only arrangement. I haven’t been serious about anyone in a long time and I’m not sure I can do the whole relationship thing. If you want me to give you a chance, you can’t try to bulldoze me or push me faster than I’m willing to go. You need to be patient and understand if I change my mind or freak out. I’ll give you two weeks to take me on dates. We’re not going to have sex unless I decide to have a relationship with you. I’m not going to throw my academic future away for a fling. I can have sex anytime I want to. I don’t need to get it from you.” I say the last part flippantly and I can tell it pissed him off.

“When I read your poem I got the impression that someone hurt you in the past. Is that why you prefer not to be in a relationship?” I nod my head in agreement. I don’t want to get into the topic of Austin, right now.

“Are you currently sleeping with anyone else?” He asks with a scowl on his face.

“Yes.” I nod my head.

“Let me guess, it’s your buddy, Jeff?”

“Yes, it’s Jeff and we’ve been doing the” friends with benefits” thing for a long time, with great results.” His scowl gets impossibly darker.

“Are you going to continue to sleep with him while you’re dating me?”

“No, I’m not. It’s only two weeks. If we work out and decide to take it further, I’ll let him know that our arrangement is over. If we don’t work out, then I'll continue on with him and nothing will change.” I shrug my shoulders. He looks displeased with my answer, but I’m not going to sugar coat it for him. I am who I am. He needs to know up front that I don’t do relationships and the fact that I’m giving him a two-week trial period is unprecedented.

“You need to get your farewell speech ready because there’s no way in hell, he’ll be anywhere near you, again.” A sexy smirk replaces the scowl he’s been wearing since we started talking about Jeff.

“Don’t be too cocky, Garrett. I rarely do what people expect me to. If you don’t mind, I think it’s time for you to go. I have a date with some hot vampires and you’ve kept me from them long enough.” He looks surprised that I’m giving him the boot from my apartment.

    I remove myself from his lap and make my way toward the door, hopeful that he’s following me. When I reach for the handle, he spins me around and presses his body fully against mine. I’m instantly overcome with an insane desire for him and it’s all I can do to harness it. He grips both my hands in one of his, holding them over my head, against the door. The forceful way he’s taken control of this moment makes my knees weak and my breathing labored. He slowly runs the tip of his nose from my collarbone to my jawline before cupping my face in his palm. I try to turn my head to the side but he prevents it. He leans forward until our lips are only inches apart.

“Shelby look at me,” He says in a commanding voice. I lock my eyes on him, getting lost in the close-up view of their hazel depths. “You and I are going to happen and it’s not only going to be for two weeks.” He lowers his mouth to mine and nibbles on my bottom lip. “Are you free on Saturday night? I want to take you out on our first date.” I don’t have plans on Saturday but I’m tempted to tell him I do; just to bust his balls a little.

“No, I don’t have plans. We can go out but I’m just reminding you now that I’m not going to have sex with you.”

“I’ll remind you of that when you’re begging me for it,” He smirks as I gasp in outrage.

“You’re such a cocky bastard. I have a feeling that the odds lean more toward me punching you in the face than they do for me to be begging you for it.” He smiles at me before replying.

“I guess I better keep your hands occupied then.” He winks and releases his hold on my hands before pulling me into his arms for a hug. He holds me tight before brushing his lips against mine.

“I’ll see you in class later this week. Saturday night I’m picking you up at seven and wear something casual.” He opens the door and turns to give me one final glance before leaving. I lock the door behind him and drop my forehead against it. What have I gotten myself into? How am I going to hold Jeff off for two weeks without telling him what’s going on?