Waiting for Love ((Waiting) Book 2) (9 page)

      After a quick cab ride to my apartment, I take a shower and skip washing my hair. I throw some clothes on as quickly as possible because I know it's only a matter of time before he comes looking for me and I have no intention of being here when he does. I grab some clothes that I’ll need for the Beacon football game I’m attending later this afternoon and throw them in a backpack. I quickly scratch out a note for Hailey on a scrap piece of paper, letting her know I’ll meet her at the game. I promised Jeff I’d be there to cheer him on and I have every intention of keeping my word.

     Once I'm in my car, I decide to go home to my father's house. I haven't seen him since school began almost two months ago and I miss him. The ride there is traffic free since it's now only just a little after eight as I turn onto our street. The houses in this area are all palatial in appearance and ours is no exception. The wide columns that flank the front door, and support a Juliet balcony, give the house a stately appearance, reminiscent of an English manor. The long, wide driveway is curved in the shape of a half circle, leaving room for multiple cars to park comfortably. The well-manicured, lush landscaping in addition to the brick exterior, adds to the overall feeling of opulence.

      As I park my car, I notice that Greyson is also here. Grey is one of the twins and the brother I'm closest to. We share the same appreciation for sarcasm and we both like to have fun. Much like me, he doesn't do relationships. He got his heart broken by a girl when he was first in college and he’s been closed off ever since.

      I'm barely in the door when Grey grabs me in a bear hug.

"Hey, Seashell. What brings you to Casa de Tyler today?" He steps back from our hug and we walk together to the kitchen.

"Do I need a reason to come home for a visit?" I jokingly punch him in the arm. "What's Rose cooking up today? It smells divine." I follow the delicious aroma of whatever culinary delight she has in the oven and it leads me to the kitchen which is located in the back of our house.

"She made me a bacon, egg and cheese casserole and I'm supposed to take it out of the oven in," he looks at his watch. "Five more minutes.”

"Yum, I can't wait to have some. I miss Rose's cooking."

"Who said you can have any? She made it for me, not you." He teasingly pokes me in the arm.

"Where’s Rose, anyway? I was hoping to see her."

"She had a family party to go to today." He shrugs his shoulders. "I'm not sure when she'll be back but I'm assuming it’ll be tomorrow because she left dinner in the fridge."

"Bummer. I miss her." Rose has been our housekeeper/cook since before I was even born. She's been the main mother figure in my life since my mom passed away when I was just a baby. She takes care of running my father's household which lets him focus on running his business.  

"Where's daddy?" I didn't see his car when I pulled in.

"He went to the office. He said he'd be back by noon."

"What are you doing here, Grey? Did you stay here last night?"

Instead of answering me he leans over and opens the oven, grabbing a pot holder in his other hand. I peer over his shoulder and take a look at the breakfast casserole. The cheese is bubbling all along the edges making my mouth water in anticipation. I back out of the way as he removes the glass baking pan from the oven and places it on top of the stove. I set the table, grabbing the juice from the fridge and two crystal glasses from the cupboard. We sit down at the round table and Grey dishes each of us a steaming hot portion on our plates. I pour us each a glass of juice, before setting the carton down in the middle of the table.   

     "So why don't you tell me what's on your mind, Seashell." He looks at me, knowingly. Damnit, Grey has always had my number. He knows me too well. I pick up my fork and knife and set about cutting up my food.

"I finally met a guy that I don't want to keep at a distance and it could end really horribly." I take a bite of the cheesy egg mixture and it's even better than I remember it being.

"Why do you think it may end horribly?" He's studying my face intently so I look down at my plate before I answer.

"He's my creative writing professor," I mumble. He raises his eyebrow, questioningly.

"He's your professor?" I nod my head. "How old is this dude Shell?" He scowls at me.

"He's only twenty-seven so you can lose the scary scowl. I don't know what to do, Grey. There's something really powerful between us. We've gone on a couple of dates and if he weren't my professor, I wouldn't even hesitate to be with him. I've never had such strong chemistry with anyone before."

"What’re you going to do?" He asks as he continues to eat.

"I don't know. He took me out last night and I stayed over at his place."

"I don't want to know this." Grey interrupts.

"Grey, I didn't have sex with him. We fooled around a little and when I woke up this morning I totally panicked. I snuck out of there without saying goodbye. I have a feeling that he's pissed off at me because I haven't heard from him yet."

"Maybe he's still sleeping. It’s only eight-thirty."

"I guess, but I think it's more likely for the reason I said. I know what I did was wrong, but it was all I could think to do at that moment."

"Did you leave him a note at least?" He asks as he scoops more casserole on his plate.

"No, I just left. I didn't want him to wake up before I got out of there." I push my plate away as I've now lost my appetite. I pleadingly look at Grey.

"What should I do?"

"Only you know the answer to that Seashell. All I can say is that you need to take things slow with him. Make sure the reward of being together outweighs the risk of getting caught and if you don't think it's worth taking the chance then you already have your answer." I think about what he just said and I know he's right. I can always count on Grey to cut right to the heart of the matter.

"Well, regardless of what I decide, I need to apologize for running out on him. Especially after how sweet he's been to me. Do you think I should go over his place and apologize in person or can I do it on the phone?"

     “Shell, you already know the answer to that question. In person apologies are always the best, but any apology beats not offering one at all. One way or another you need to have a talk with him and figure things out." I nod my head in acknowledgment of what he’s said.

     "So Grey, do you want to talk about what's on your mind? I'm sure you're not just here for the great breakfast." His brown eyes look so serious before he shakes his head.

"Not today Seashell." I place my hand on top of his and give it a squeeze. I know he prefers to keep things to himself, but I had to ask him just in case he needs someone to talk to.

***

     I just left my dad’s house and I’ve decided that I need to go straight to Garrett’s condo and apologize to him. I’m using, this time, to try to organize my thoughts and figure out what I’m going to say to him, but I’m not having much luck. My brain is on overload and I can’t come up with a concrete plan. I’m just going to speak from the heart and keep it spontaneous. Hopefully, he’ll see the sincerity of my apology and he’ll forgive me. There’s a good chance he may write me off as too much drama. If that happens, I’ll be devastated and I’ll have no one to blame but myself.

     I’m standing in front of Garrett’s door to his condo and I’m trying not to have a mini anxiety attack. Taking a deep breath in for the count of three and exhaling for the same count seems to do the trick. Just reminding myself to breathe will usually help me get a grip on my anxiety and stop it from escalating into a full-blown attack. I started having panic issues when things went south with Austin and I went to speak with one of the psychologists that see students from Beacon University. Talking to her didn’t really make a difference. It was actually Hailey, who was instrumental in helping me by giving me tips on how to deal with them as she also suffers from anxiety. I take one more deep breath, say a silent prayer and hope for the best.

     I knock on his door and it occurs to me that he might not be home. I wait about thirty seconds before I knock a second time...this time louder. I can hear him approaching the door before he opens it. He stands in the opening, blocking me from entering and waits for me to speak.

“Hi. I need to talk to you. Can I please come in?” I’m crossing my fingers, waiting for him to answer. He doesn’t actually say anything. He just steps back and gestures with his arm for me to enter. I walk a few feet inside and turn to face him as he closes the door. He stays in that same spot, not moving any closer to me. I knew he wasn’t going to welcome me back with open arms and now I’m getting concerned that this is going to be even harder than I thought.

     “I owe you an apology for this morning. I shouldn’t have left without talking to you first. I’m sorry I didn’t wake you and tell you that I was completely panicked about being involved with you. It scares me how strongly I’ve come to care for you in such a short time. I’m worried about how attached to you I’m already becoming. I swore I’d never give my heart away again, Garrett and I didn’t want to. My life was simple before I met you and I was perfectly happy with the way things were.” I pause to take a deep breath and slow myself down. I may be rambling at this point and I want to make sure he understands how I really feel. I have to leave it all out on the table or I may lose him altogether. I look at him once more before I continue on, trying to gauge what he’s thinking. His facial expression is giving nothing away. I wouldn’t want to play poker with him.

    “I know it may be too late for me to tell you this but, I don’t want to lose you. I’m ready to be in a relationship with you. I know at times I’ve been pushing you away and trying to keep some distance between us, but I don’t want to do that anymore. I want to let you in and I want to be together as much as we can. I miss you when we’re apart and as much as it freaks me out to depend on someone else, I’m willing to push my fears aside for you.” I look up at him waiting for him to break his silence and give me an idea of what he’s thinking.

    “Shelby, of course, I want to be with you, but I won’t be in a relationship where you have one foot in and one foot already out the door. If we’re going to do this, then you have to be fully invested. I need one hundred percent commitment from you. Otherwise, we might as well go our separate ways now. I’m crazy about you and one of these days it’s going to sink into that thick skull of yours that I’m not going anywhere. It’s you and me doll, for the long haul.” He folds me into his arms and a huge feeling of relief washes over me. The fact that he’s forgiven me speaks volumes about the kind of person he is. I've been difficult and hesitant about becoming involved with him and he's been nothing but sweet and understanding. I'm glad he thinks I'm worth the effort, but I'm not so sure he's right. He leans down and brushes his lips against mine and I wrap my arms around his neck, clinging tightly to him.

"I'm so sorry, Garrett," I whisper in his ear.

"It's okay. I forgive you and we never need to mention it again. Let's move forward and leave all of this stuff in the past. I just want to focus on us and our future."

"That sounds like a great idea." He brushes his lips against mine, in a whisper soft kiss, almost as if he didn't make contact at all.

"Stop teasing me Garrett and kiss me. I need to feel your lips wrapped around mine." He groans before doing as I asked. His lips cover mine with purpose. His kiss feels possessive, as though he’s showing me that we’re meant to be and that I belong to him. His tongue is caressing mine and his hands are roaming up and down my back. As much as I want to continue on with our passionate reunion and let it progress, now isn’t the time. I'm still not one hundred percent ready to have sex with him and I have to get home and get ready for the football game.

    It takes a lot of inner strength to make myself pull away from his hypnotic lips. I can't get enough of kissing him and that delectable mouth.

"Garrett, I need to get going. I promised my friends that I would be at the football game, today. I have to go home and get ready."

"Okay doll, what are you doing tonight? Can I see you?" I know what I'm about to tell him is probably going to upset him but I'm not going to sugar coat it.

"I'm going to the football game and a frat party with my friends. Can I see you tomorrow instead?" I hold my breath, anticipating an angry reaction.

"Plan on spending the day with me and sleeping over here. I'm going to miss you tonight." He nuzzles his nose at the bottom of my ear.
God, he's so sweet.
"Are you sure you can't skip the frat party?" His lips are warm and smooth against my skin, sending chills up my spine.

"As tempting as that offer is, I'm going to have to pass. I promised Hailey I would go with her."

***

     The stadium is packed and the roar of the cheering fans is overwhelming. Even after over two years of attending Beacon football games, the impressive volume of the crowd can still take me by surprise. Hailey and I are adding to the noise pollution by cheering Jeff and Lee on. This is an important game for them and Jeff has been worried about it all week. He confided in me when we had a study date the other day. I tried my best to reassure him, but I know that as the quarterback he feels pressure to always play his best.