Waiting for Perfect (38 page)

I
instantly feel the moisture in my eyes and try to blink it away.
 
“No.
 
No!”
 
I look
back to Morgan and yell as loud as I can.
 
“What did you do?
 
You
bastard!
 
What did you do to her?”

I
hear Mr. Chadwick saying something on his walkie-talkie.
 
A second later, the music in the other
room stops playing.
 
He runs over
to us.

“I’ve
called the police.
 
They should be
here any minute.”
 
He feels for a
pulse at her neck.
 
Then he moves
to her wrist.
 
Then he moves to her
neck again, feeling around, pressing harder.
 
He looks at Sebastian and me, and finally says, “I think I
feel something.
 
I think she’s
alive.”
 
But he sounds so uncertain
that it doesn’t give me any reassurance.

Someone
opens the far exit door.
 
I feel
the cool outside air rush in.
 
Then
there’s screaming as Lexi sees her friend lying on the ground in Sebastian’s
lap.
 
Everything is a blur.
 
There are people everywhere.
 
Someone is pulling me away.
 
Sebastian can’t even speak.
 
Lexi is hysterical.
 
There are sirens.

I scoot backward on
my knees, fearful I’ll fall if I try to stand.
 
I’m watching from outside my body, like a dream – a
nightmare.
 
Every part of me is
numb.
 
I sit twenty feet away from
where the ambulance technicians are strapping an oxygen mask onto Kendra’s
face.
 
They’re asking her
questions, but her eyes are closed, and she doesn’t respond.
 
One of the paramedics is feeling for a
pulse.
 
I shut my eyes tight to
block it out.
 
I don’t want to see
this.
 
God, I don’t want to see
this.
 
They put her onto a gurney
and take her out the door.

Sebastian hasn’t
moved.
 
He is sitting in the same
spot, even with all the commotion around him.
 
He hasn’t said a word, but tears are coming down his cheeks.
 
He blames himself for this.
 
I can see it on his face.

Candace
sits down next to me.
 
She’s
crying.
 
I put my arm around her
and hold her close.
 
We try to find
some comfort in each other, but mostly we’re both lost.
 
We’re all lost.

Ryan
is handcuffed and taken outside.
 
I
see him as he ducks into the back of the police car.
 
I wonder how long he’ll go to jail for this.
 
If he ever gets out, Sebastian and I
will kill him.
 
It’s not even a
question.
 
I know what kind of
people Sebastian used to hang out with in San Antonio.
 
I know we could have Ryan killed, and
no one would even find the body.
 
But the kind of torture Ryan deserves will come from our own hands.

Troy
comes over to me.
 
“Nick, some of
us are going to follow the ambulance to the hospital.
 
Do you want a ride?”

I
look at Sebastian across the hallway.
 
He’s staring into his lap, like he’s still looking at her lying
there.
 
“No.
 
I’ll go with Sebastian.”

Troy
nods, then leads Candace and Lexi out the door.
 
Students start clearing out.
 
Some of the staff remains huddled together shaking their
heads, lost like the rest of us.

I
make myself get up.
 
I walk over to
Sebastian and then collapse by his side.
 
We’re quiet for a while.

Finally,
I say, “This isn’t your fault.”

He
doesn’t say anything.

“Look,
I know you blame yourself for this, but it’s not your fault.
 
No one’s blaming you.”

“Nobody
has to,” he mutters.
 
“I
know
this is my fault.
 
She was running away from me.
 
Ryan must have been watching the whole
time, waiting for the perfect opportunity, waiting until she was alone.”
 
He puts his hands up to his face to
hide his tears.
 
He looks so
broken.
 
I’ve always seen him
strong and confident.

“We
need to go to the hospital.
 
We
need to make sure she’s okay.”

He
shakes his head.
 
“I can’t see her
like that, Nick.
 
She was so
pale.
 
She had no life in her.”
 
He sniffs.
 
“She was strangled.
 
Her neck was bruised.
 
She
wasn’t breathing.”
 
He covers his
face with his hands again.

“She’s
going to make it.”

He
doesn’t respond.

“Shit,
Sebastian.
 
Snap out of it.
 
She’s going to make it.
 
Get your shit together and take us to
the hospital.”
 
Maybe if I act
tough, he’ll listen to me.
 
I wait
a few seconds, but still, nothing.

I try a different
approach.
 
Sebastian and I need to
be there for Kendra.
 
We’ve all
come this far together, and as much as I hate to admit it, she needs us
both.
 
I need to be there to make
sure she’s okay since my life has revolved around protecting her for the last
month.
 
And even though I hate the
thought of it, Kendra needs Sebastian too.

 
“Sebastian, we both love her.
 
We have to go to her.”

He
brings his head up to look at me.
 
His eyes are red and wet, making his dark eyelashes look even blacker.

“I
do love her,” he says.

I
still don’t want to believe it.
 
A
week and a half ago, I wouldn’t have.
 
But seeing him this broken over her, I know he does.
 
It’s evident.
 
I would have to be blind not to see it.

“I
know you do.”
 
I stand up and hold
my hand out to help him up.

He
looks at me from the ground, evaluating me.
 
Finally, he takes my hand and stands.
 
“Okay.
 
Let’s go see our girl.”

SEBASTIAN

“I told you
already.
 
She ran into the hallway
after she saw Megan kissing me.
 
I
went in to look for her, but couldn’t see her.
 
It was dark.
 
She was angry.
 
She probably
didn’t want me to find her.”

The officer is
scribbling in his notepad.
 
“So you
two were fighting?”

“Yes.”
 
Then I correct myself.
 
“Well, no.
 
Not exactly.
 
It
was a misunderstanding.”

The officer is
eyeing me under bushy eyebrows.
 
His jolly cheeks are covered in grey scruff, and his moustache needs to
be trimmed.
 
“She saw you kissing
another girl and ran off.”
 
It’s a
statement, not a question.

“Basically, yes.”

The officer writes
more notes.
 
I wonder what the hell
this has to do with anything.
 
Nick
and I have been trapped here answering questions for what seems like forever.
 
Why can’t these cops just let me
leave?
 
I need to see Kendra.

“Look, I know you
need to do your job and everything, but I really need to get to the
hospital.
 
Can we do this
later?”
 
I try to remain polite,
respectful.
 
It’s difficult.
 
I’d really like to steal this guy’s cop
car so I can get to the hospital without stopping at any signals.

He glances over to
where one of his partners is questioning Nick.
 
“That’s your cousin, right?”

I sigh.
 
More questions.
 
“Yes.
 
Nick is my cousin.”

“I understand it
was you that threw the initial blow to the suspect, and your cousin continued
the attack.
 
Is that correct?”

“Yes, if we must go
over this again.
 
We entered the
hallway.
 
We saw Ryan on top of
Kendra.
 
He was…” My voice cracks,
and it takes everything in me to hold my shit together, so I don’t lose it in
front of this cop.

I take a deep
breath and continue.
 
“I kicked
Ryan in the face and pulled Kendra away from him.
 
I was so focused on Kendra.
 
I don’t really know what happened with Ryan after that.
 
Nick was punching him.
 
I think some students pulled him
off.”
 
I repeat the story for the
third time tonight.

He nods and records
my response with his pen and paper.

I look at him
writing, wasting time while I could be at the hospital making sure Kendra isn’t
dead.
 
I try to push that thought
far, far away.
 
She was alive when
I held her in my arms.
 
I know it.
 
There were thick red bands on her neck
where Ryan’s hands had been, and it didn’t look like she was breathing.
 
It was difficult for any of us to find
a pulse, but Mr. Chadwick thought he felt one.
 
Dammit!
 
I know
she’s alive.
 
She
has
to be.

“Officer, I need to
get to the hospital.
 
My girlfriend
may have just been raped.”
 
I gulp
down the urge to throw up as I say those words.
 
“She was unconscious.
 
I need to get to her.”

The cop tucks his
notepad into his chest pocket.
 
Then he looks at me.
 
I
mean, he really looks at me.
 
Maybe
he’s deciding if I’ve told him everything.
 
Maybe he knows I’m to blame for how this whole thing went down.
 
Who knows?
 
But the weight of his stare is uncomfortable.
 
It brings me back to San Antonio, my
dad being arrested, Ricky and I getting into our own trouble.

Finally, the man
nods.
 
“Go ahead.
 
We can continue this later.”

I don’t even
respond.
 
I turn instantly and run
toward Nick.
 
His officer doesn’t
seem to be done with him yet, but I can’t wait a second longer.
 
When I approach the two, I talk to the
officer.
 
“Your partner said we can
do this later.
 
We have to go.”

Nick glances
between the officer and me, waiting for the cop to give him permission to
leave.
 
Nick’s suit jacket is
crumpled in the school hallway.
 
The sleeves of his white dress shirt are pushed back to his elbows, and
there is blood splattered across his chest.
 
His tie hangs loose around his neck, and his hair, slicked
back an hour ago, now falls into his face.

The officer glances
at his partner, who nods his approval to release us.
 
The officer turns back and hands us each a business
card.
 
“You boys call me tomorrow.
 
We need to continue this
investigation.
 
I’ll need you both
to come to the office and make an official statement.”
 
He looks sternly at Nick.
 
“You’re a minor.
 
You’ll need to bring your parents.”

“And I’m legally an
adult, which means I don’t need to bring mine.”
 
I take Nick by his arm.
 
“Come on.”

We sprint away from
the scene that still flashes in blue and red.
 
There are eight police cars in front of the gym.
 
Eight.
 
In San Antonio, there would be maybe two guys on this.
 
In one of the safest cities in Orange County,
cops are bored, so they all show up for some action.
 
I hate cops.

“Dude,” Nick says
when we reach my car.
 
“Check your
phone.
 
Did you hear from anyone
yet?”

I dig my phone out
of my suit pants and check for any messages.
 
There are two texts from Lexi.

Lexi
:
We’re at Mission
Hospital.
 
They won’t tell us
anything.

Lexi
:
Her parents just got here.

“Shit.”
 
I pull my seat belt on and start the
car.

“What? What
happened?
 
Is she okay?”

“I don’t know
yet.”
 
I start pulling out of the
parking lot, trying to keep it under the speed limit, so none of these damn
cops pull me over.
 
“Lexi said they
haven’t told her anything yet.
 
And
Kendra’s parents just got there.”

Nick doesn’t say
anything.
 
He watches the road
silently.
 
Our adrenaline has been
pumping pretty hard for the last hour, and now, sitting in the darkness of the
car without a sound, both of us are alone with our thoughts.
 
If he’s like me, he’s replaying the
whole incident in his head.
 
The
more he contemplates the night’s events, he will easily see how it’s my fault
Kendra is at the hospital.

Megan kissed
me.
 
I guess that’s when this chain
of events began.
 
I should have
been more upfront with Megan.
 
I
should have made her understand that Kendra and I were together and that I
didn’t want her.
 
I should have
forced her to realize that I was never going to be hers.
 
Why didn’t I?

Was it because
Sebastian Veneto hasn’t changed his ways at all?
 
Maybe I still wanted the attention from Megan.
 
Maybe I needed it somehow.
 
Maybe I wanted her as a plan B in case
Kendra wisened up and realized that she is way too good for me.

I let this
happen.
 
I knew Ryan Morgan was at
that dance.
 
Why the hell did I let
Kendra go anywhere alone?
 
I should
have been stuck to her side every second to protect her from that asshole.
 
I never thought he’d try anything at
the dance with all those people around.
 
I completely underestimated him.

Ryan Morgan is
certifiably crazy, and now the whole student population knows it.
 
Why couldn’t I have recognized it
sooner?
 
I wouldn’t have taken my
eyes off Kendra for a second.
 
Now,
she is lying in a hospital bed, clinging to life – because of me.

I pound my fist on
the steering wheel, pulling Nick from his own dark abyss of thoughts.
 
“Shit!”
 
I pound my fist again harder this time.
 
“Shit!
 
Shit!”

Nick waits for me
to stop.
 
When I do, there are
tears in my eyes, but I blink them away before they spill.
 
I’m driving too fast, and I blow
through a red light.
 
The thought
of Ryan’s hands on her skin makes me want to vomit.
 
I roll down my window and let in the cool night air.
 

“She’s going to be
okay, Sebastian.
 
We have to
believe that.”

“She’s pretty far
from okay, Nick!”
 
I yell, hitting
my steering wheel again.
 
The pain
it’s inflicting shoots up my entire arm and relieves some of the pressure
building in my head.
 
If I think
about this too much, I’m going to lose it.
 
I hit the steering wheel again.

“Dude, stop!” Nick
shouts.
 
“I can’t handle you
freaking out right now, okay?”

I listen to
him.
 
The girl we love has been broken
to pieces.
 
I don’t need to be the
source of anyone else’s pain.
 
God
knows I’ve already hurt Nick enough.
 
It’s only a matter of time before he’ll understand how this is my doing.

He loves her.
 
He would willfully stake his own heart
if she asked him to.
 
He would have
protected her.
 
If she had gone to
the dance with Nick instead of me, none of this would have ever happened.
 

We’re pulling into
the hospital when my phone buzzes.
 
I park and turn off the ignition before grabbing it from my pocket.
 
There’s another text from Lexi.

Lexi
:
They just told us she’s
awake. R U close?

Every ounce of air
escapes from my lungs, like I’ve been holding my breath for decades.
 
“She’s awake,” I say.

“Thank God.
 
Let’s go.”
 
He opens the door and slams it behind him.
 
He approaches my side of the car and
throws open my door.
 
“Dude, come
on.
 
Let’s get in there.”

I sit motionless,
the full weight of my actions hitting me suddenly.
 
I can’t see her.
 
It’s my fault she’s even in this place.
 
She’ll never want to see me again.

Nick is waiting for
me.
 
Finally, he says, “What the hell?
 
Let’s go!”

“I can’t.
 
Nick, I can’t go in there.”

He looks at me like
I’m crazy.
 
“What are you talking
about?
 
We’re here.
 
She’s awake.
 
We need to get in there and make sure she’s okay.”

I look up from my
seat.
 
At six-foot-three, he towers
over my car.
 
He looks pissed.
 
He should be.
 
I’m the one to blame for this.

“No.
 
I can’t right now.
 
Go without me.”

He gives me a
hostile glare, one that is meant to rip me in two.
 
Between tight lips, he says, “Are you serious?
 
You’re just going to sit in your damn
car when the girl you
supposedly
love
was just attacked?”
 

There it is, that
accusatory tone that makes me think somewhere on the way from the school to the
hospital, he realized that this was my mistake.

I don’t want to
argue.
 
I do love her.
 
More than I’ve ever loved anyone.
 
I’m not sure if he believes me, but I’m
not going to fight with him right now.
 
“Just go, man.”