She cursed the goats and she cursed the day she ever thought goats
were cute as she fought her way through the masse to pour feed into
the trough. The sound of grain hitting plastic must have been one they
recognized because the swarm left her.
She stumbled over to the gate, feeling as if she’d barely escaped
with her life by the time she rested against the barn wall safely outside
the stall. Karise checked the note from Aidan again to see if it held
some clue as to what she’d done wrong. Unable to glean any new pearls
of wisdom, Karise grabbed the second batch of feed and went to bring
the last herd in for the night.
This time she poured the feed before she opened the door for
them. The sound attracted them like moths to a flame. Karise couldn’t
get the door open for goats flinging themselves at the barrier between
them and their food. Those who didn’t fling were jostling to climb over
each other and the door.
When she at last managed to get the door open, they burst through
like water through a dam, knocking her on her backside. Goats clambered
over her, vying for position once they reached the trough.
“You are all terrible, horrible beasts,” she informed them. The goats
didn’t look up. Karise was pretty sure at least one of the “maaahs” she
got was a snarky response. She didn’t care if she was covered in barn
filth, she was starving. The goats were fed; it was time to feed herself.
Zoe had finished her meal and was running around the yard
playing with Bonnie by the time Karise sank onto her seat at the picnic
table. Her hot sandwich had become soggy and cold, so she gave most of it to Clyde after picking at it for a few minutes. He inhaled it whole, which reminded her she hadn’t fed the dogs yet. Karise hung her head
and sighed, wondering how on earth Aidan did it. Mustering energy
she didn’t know she had, she pushed herself away from the table and
went in search of dog food.
They came barreling up at the sound of food. Aidan’s note said to
feed them inside, but Bonnie was filthy and stunk to high heaven, so Karise opted for feeding them on the porch. She’d deal with cleaning the
dog later. Maybe she’d get lucky and discover they were self-cleaning.
The chickens caught wind of the fact that there was food on the
porch and were soon flocking around, trying to swipe a few pieces for
themselves. The dogs were having none of it, and the porch exploded
into a kerfuffle of snarling and squawking. Karise swore under her breath and tossed a scoopful of food out in the yard for the chickens.
Aidan didn’t need to know she’d fed his chickens dog food. Of course,
with her luck, it would kill them or something. That, too, was a problem
for another day. With the dogs happily scarfing down their kibble,
Karise turned her attention back to Zoe, who was now covered head to toe in mud.
“How did that happen?” Karise tried to keep the desperation out of her voice.
Zoe shrugged. “I fell.”
“Did you maybe roll around a little after falling? And what did you fall in? Is there a mud pit hidden around here somewhere?”
“It’s not mud.”
Karise opened her mouth to ask what it was but thought better of it. “Well, I guess we should get you cleaned up.”
“We have to get Missy first.”
“Who’s Missy?” Karise really didn’t want to know the answer to that.
“My doll.”
“Okay. Where is Missy?”
Karise looked in the direction Zoe pointed. “Is she in the barn?”
“No, the fertilizer pile behind the barn.” Zoe didn’t blink as she made this pronouncement.
Karise, on the other hand, thought something like that was worth
a little extra emotion. Fertilizer on a goat farm could only mean one
thing. Even she knew that much. “How did your doll wind up in a pile
of poop?”
“Bonnie was playing with her.”
“Ah.”
Of course she was
. “Alright, let’s go get your doll.” Aidan was
going to owe her for this one. She followed Zoe to the spot in question,
only to decide
fertilizer
mountain might be a more
appropriate
descriptor
. “
Where exactly is the doll?”
Once again, Zoe pointed. Karise could see the pile had been freshly
turned in one spot. She didn’t give herself time to think about it, she
just took a deep breath and stuck her hand in. When that didn’t produce
the
doll, she
waded
in a
little
further. By the time she
emerged
victoriously
with her prize, she was every bit as filthy as Zoe.
The little girl squealed and clapped before hugging Karise’s waist.
“Thank you, thank you, thank you!”
“You’re welcome.” Karise placed a hand on Zoe’s head, pride
swelling in her chest. She’d done at least one thing right today. She
could sleep better knowing that. Well, once she stopped smelling like
goat poop she could, anyway. “Now we’ve just got to figure out how to get us all cleaned up.”
“We could use the hose.”
“It’s a little cold for that.”
“There’s a hose in the barn.”
“Really?” Karise thought that idea had merit.
“I’ll show you.” Zoe took Karise by the fingers and led her into the barn, pointing to a stall all by itself at the front. Sure enough, there was a hose, and it even had hot water running to it. “Daddy says this used to be a horse farm. He left the bathing stall because it comes in handy.”
“That sounds like your daddy. And he’s right. It’s a godsend today.”
Karise put the doll in a bucket of warm water to soak, then turned her
mind to the bigger problem: how to clean the people. “I think we need
to soak our clothes out here, too. Let me see if I can find us some towels
to wrap up in or something for the trip back to the house.”
Zoe didn’t wait; she stripped down to her underwear and gladly dove under the stream coming from the hose. She giggled and did a little dance, twirling under the cascading water. When the worst of it was off, Karise stripped her own outer layer and rinsed herself off as
efficiently as possible. She didn’t want Zoe to catch a cold waiting for
her. They put their filthy clothes in buckets to soak beside the doll.
Karise took Zoe’s hand and the pair darted across the lawn to the
house, giggling all the way. By the time they reached the door, Karise’s
sides hurt from laughing. “Okay, kiddo, let’s get you cleaned up for real.”
She helped herself to a flannel shirt she found hanging in the laundry
room, figuring it was enough covering to make her decent while she
got Zoe squared away. She sent the girl to find some pajamas while
Karise went to draw a warm bath. Fifteen minutes later, Zoe was squeaky
clean and cozy on the couch with popcorn and a movie. There was
still a faint goat scent clinging to the girl, but it was now balanced by watermelon.
Karise debated going to get the clothes and doll from the barn. But with the sun nearly gone, she figured her chance of running into
creatures outside was greatly increasing. A shadowy figure moved past
the front door, catching Karise’s eye. She froze, waiting to see if it was
a figment of her imagination. There was a scratching sound. Heart
hammering, Karise crept toward the front door to get a better look.
She moved the curtain back to peer out the window and was greeted
by the face of a goat. She screamed and jumped before it registered what she’d seen.
Zoe looked up from her movie. “What is it?”
Karise held her hand over her heart, willing it to slow down. “A goat. There is a goat on the front porch.”
“Goats aren’t scary, Karise.”
“They are if you aren’t expecting to see their face pressed up against
the window. Why is there a goat on the front porch?”
“Did you close their stall?”
“Yes.” Karise was offended by the implication.
“Did you lock it or just latch it?” Zoe persisted.
“They can open latches?”
“Goats can do lots of things.”
Karise took a deep breath and blew it back out. She had a sinking
feeling this day was never going to end. She slid on Aidan’s muck boots
and went outside, telling Zoe to stay put on the couch. Sure enough,
the yard was overrun with goats. Big goats, little goats, goats with horns
and goats with no horns. Some were contentedly munching on Aidan’s
garden. One was using her car as a jungle gym. She decided to go for that one first.
When she was close enough to snag its collar, it leapt sideways, did a little twist and darted off. She could almost hear it laughing at
her as it kicked up its heels again. Next she snuck up on a spotted
animal happily munching on the roses. That one she was able to grab by the collar before it noticed her presence. She tugged gently on the collar, trying to lead the animal toward the barn. It gave her a look that clearly said, “You’re kidding, right?” as it dug in its heels. For
such a little animal, it had an amazing ability to sandbag. Tug as hard
as she may, it wasn’t budging. After several tries and several curse words, she gave up in search of a more pliable animal. As soon as she let go of the collar, the goat went back to snacking on the roses.
Around and around the yard she went, either snagging an animal
that wasn’t going anywhere or getting close to one only to have it twist
and leap and pirouette out of her grasp. She would have been impressed
if she wasn’t so furious. When a pair of headlights illuminated the now-
dark yard, Karise wasn’t sure if she was filled with hope the cavalry
had arrived or mortified that someone had just caught her chasing goats
around the yard in her underwear, a flannel shirt and muck boots that
were several sizes too large. It briefly crossed her mind to be scared, but
at this point, an axe murderer would be a welcome change from goats.
It turned out to be the cavalry, albeit a very amused one.
“Hey Karise, how’s it going?” Gavin asked, laughter breaking
through his words.
“Great, great. Just spending a little time getting to know the goats.
We’re bonding.”
“Is that what this is?”
“Yep.”
“Because it looks a little like you might have forgotten to lock a gate.”
“To the untrained eye it might.” Karise refused to admit defeat.
“Ah. Well, whenever you’re finished bonding, I’d be happy to
help you put them back where they go.”
“If you want. I mean, I’d
hate
to deprive a
friend
of the joy of
goats.
”
“Now you know why I raise grapes and not goats,” he said.
“Wise choice.”
“Come on, let’s get some grain. Thankfully, it looks like only one herd got loose, so it’ll be a snap to put them back.”
Karise wondered what magic wand he was going to wave to make
putting these devil-beasts up a simple matter.
“Make sure the other gate is locked or they’ll bust loose, too, once
they hear the food,” Gavin warned. Karise went to do as she was told.
Sure enough, as soon as the scoop hit the grain, every goat came charging
his direction. The ones who were loose made a beeline for their trough
while the ones who weren’t clambered at their own gate. Once everyone
was back in place and the gates and feed bin were locked up tight,
Gavin turned to Karise with a knowing grin. “Goats are slaves to their
stomachs. You can always catch them with food. I know that much
from helping Aidan out. He’s a goat-whisperer; he can catch them
without food. But the rest of us mortals are best off using the tried and
true methods.”
“Thank you.” Karise gave him a grateful hug. All teasing aside,
she’d have probably been out there at midnight still trying to catch goats if he hadn’t shown up, and they both knew it.
“No worries.”
“Do you want to come in a minute?”
“Sure.”
“Hey, grab a bucket, will you?” Karise figured she was out here anyway – she might as well grab their clothes to get them cleaned up tonight.
“So this is where your clothes got off to.”
“Bonnie buried Zoe’s doll in the fertilizer pile.” Knowing her shame
was complete, there was no use keeping anything back now.
“You are a very dedicated woman. I’m afraid I’d have declared the
doll a lost cause.”
Karise shook her head. “Nope. I promised Aidan I could take care
of his home and daughter, that he didn’t have to worry. I
can
do this.”
“Are you convincing me or yourself?”
“Both.”
“Fair enough.” He held the door open for her.
“Hey, Zoe, look who I found!”
“Hi, Gavin!” She beamed up at him. “Wanna watch a movie with me?”
“I’d love to,” he assured Zoe before turning to Karise. “Maybe Zoe
and I can spend a little quality time while you grab a shower. You could
probably use a bit of time to yourself by now.”
“I could,” she admitted. “And as grateful as I am for your presence,
I have to wonder – did you come to check up on us?”