“Off.” Her voice was thick with need. “Want your skin.” She slid her hand under the edge of his shirt, shivering at the feel of the hair trailing down his abdomen.
“Allie—”
“Need it.” She breathed the words against his neck as her hand continued to pet him. “Need you.”
With a soft curse, Ollie sat up and pulled his shirt off. Allie was roused by a violent wave of desire she had no intention of quelling. Ollie tugged at her shirt, pulling it up and over her head before he tossed it across the room. Then his eyes were on her, fixed on the soft blue lace covering her breasts.
He bent down and grazed his teeth over the rise of her left breast, then he licked at her, sliding his tongue under the edge of lace that shielded the last bit of her from his eyes.
Allie reached back to unclip her bra. This was Ollie. She didn’t care about caution anymore. She only wanted to know him. Know his touch. Feel his heat.
“Allie,” he groaned, pressing his cheek to her neck, his left hand reaching up to gently cradle her breast. “Not in the bar. I don’t want us—”
“Not…” She took his mouth and drank him in, desperate for more. “Not everything. I just… I need a taste. Give me something.”
The little voice in the back of her head reminded her of Joe’s scorn. Reminded her of the marks of age and children. Marks that younger, fitter women wouldn’t carry.
She froze. “Please, Ollie.”
If he rejected her, she’d crumble.
With a fierce growl, he flipped them over, pressing her back into the couch as his mouth descended on her breasts. There was no more coaxing. No teasing. His mouth covered one nipple, his teeth scraped over her, and he sucked hard.
It wasn’t the first time a man had touched her like that, but it was the first time
he
had. The first time she’d felt the fire of him taking her over. She cried out, digging her nails into his shoulders.
He swore softly. “Harder,” he growled. Then his mouth was on her again, licking and biting down her body. Her mind was too swamped with the feel of him to be self-conscious. There was only Ollie. Only her. She felt his teeth at her waist and was jolted by a moment of panic.
“Ollie.” She grabbed a handful of his hair. “I didn’t mean… I don’t know—”
“What?” He pressed himself up, his massive shoulders hovering over her. “Didn’t you say I could have a taste?”
His eyes were pure evil. He knew that wasn’t what she’d said, but he licked his lips and let the corner inch up in a wicked smile.
“I didn’t…”
Damn, damn, damn.
Of all the times for her inexperience to show, it had to be the first time her shirt was off. She tried to turn to her side, but Ollie was already tugging at her jeans.
“Let me guess.” His voice was low and rough. “Joe didn’t like doing this.”
“Ollie, maybe we should just—”
“He was an idiot.” Ollie yanked her jeans off and stopped a moment, just to stare. “Damn, you’re pretty.” Then he knelt next to her on the couch, sliding one hand down to her bottom as he took her mouth. “Let me,” he whispered against her mouth, stroking long fingers up and down the back of her thigh, barely brushing over the lace of her panties. “Please.”
Allie said, “I feel stupid.”
“Why?”
“Because I don’t know what I’m doing. It’s not that I don’t want to. Of course I do. It’s just… I’m thirty-four, for heaven’s sake. Not some stupid girl.”
“Want to know how big a bastard I am?”
“You’re not a bastard.”
“Yeah, I am. Because there’s a pretty big part of me that’s glad he never did this with you. That he never kissed you there. That I’m the only one who will.”
“Ollie—”
“And that’s a bastard thing to think, because you should have had this, baby.”
His voice was so deep and soft Allie felt it on her skin.
“You should have had a man who loved you like that,” he continued, bringing his mouth back to her body. “Wanted to kiss you all over.” He brushed his lips over her breasts. “Wanted to know you.” Kissed down her soft belly. “Wanted to know every inch of you.”
Allie melted into the sofa when he used his teeth to drag her panties down.
“Especially these inches.” He tossed the blue lace over his shoulder. “They’re pretty much my favorite.”
She couldn’t stop the low laugh. “Wicked.”
“Nope. Greedy.”
Then he was between her thighs, the rough man who was so unutterably gentle that, when he finally put his mouth on her, he reached up and grasped her hands, knitting their fingers together while he tasted her.
He held her hands, and Allie flew.
Chapter Eighteen
“I HATE YOU!”
Ollie paused on the top step of the porch when he heard Mark’s voice. He heard Allie’s softer one responding and Chris crying in the background.
“I do!” Mark yelled again. “I hate him. He takes my stuff and he breaks it. And he’s so stupid, Mom!”
He thought about going in but waited, never sure how much he should insert himself into the kids and their fights. He was even less sure now that he and Allie were together.
He couldn’t hear exactly what she said, but whatever it was made someone—he was guessing Mark—storm up the stairs even while Chris still hiccupped and sniffed. He could hear Allie talking to her youngest son, so he took a seat on the porch and waited to give them some privacy.
Living with four grieving kids was kind of like walking through a minefield. Most of the ground was safe, but every now and then the most random thing would cause an explosion.
He heard the side door open, and Kevin and Loralie came around the corner. The baby, her face covered in jam, immediately ran over to crawl on the swing next to him.
“Hey,” Kevin said. “You taking shelter too?”
“What’s going on?”
“Chris broke Mark’s yo-yo.”
Ollie’s eyes widened. “His yo-yo?”
Kevin rolled his eyes. “It’s the big thing in fourth and fifth this year. All the kids have yo-yos.”
“Huh. And breaking one…?”
The teenager leaned against the porch railing. “Is cause for disowning your little brother, yes.”
“What part did he break?”
“The string.”
Ollie made a mental note to look up how to restring a yo-yo. “That seems like a bit of an overreaction.”
Kevin shrugged. “He has more at home, but Mom only let him bring one over here.”
Ollie would have to talk to Allie about that. Mark wasn’t going ballistic over a broken yo-yo string. He was going ballistic because he didn’t have his stuff. He remembered being a little boy. Having your stuff safe and within reach was important.
For the first time, Ollie reconsidered whether it was best to keep Allie and the kids here.
Was he being selfish? He loved having them around. Kevin was mature enough that they could have real conversations, and he was a breeze to teach because he was such a hard worker. Mark had a sly humor and delighted in making his mother laugh. Chris was boundless energy and unflagging optimism, and Loralie was sweetness in dinosaur princess form.
Naughty too. With three doting older brothers, Loralie had plenty of naughty. And Ollie was probably a bad adult, because the naughty mostly made him laugh.
Besides, knowing Allie was within easy reach every single day…
He forced his mind away from the memories of the night before while the kids were sitting with him.
Kevin said, “We still need to stay here, don’t we?”
Tony Razio hadn’t located the guys who’d broken into her house. Ollie knew leaving her unprotected wasn’t an option. His house was still, undoubtedly, the safest place for them. But he needed to talk to Allie about letting the kids bring more of their stuff.
Ollie nodded slowly. “I think you guys need to stay until we find out who broke into your house. I know it’s rough being away from home, but—”
“It’d be rough being home too.” Kevin’s eyes were too old for his face. “Most of the time I forget about it. He was already gone in my head, you know? I was so… pissed at him.”
“Kevin, you said pissed,” Loralie whispered.
“I know. Don’t tell Mom on me, okay?”
The baby nodded quickly.
“But then he was really gone,” Ollie said.
“Yeah.” Kevin looked away. “Which makes me… I don’t know. Still pissed. Mark’s angrier than me though. He hit Chris the other day when Chris said that Dad didn’t leave us. That he would have come back if he hadn’t died.”
Loralie cuddled into his side. “I miss Daddy. He reads me stories.”
“Grandpa reads you stories, Lala. Dad didn’t read much.”
“Oh.” She stuck her thumb in her mouth.
Ollie nudged her little shoulder. “Want me to read to you when Grandpa can’t?”
“Yes,” she said behind her thumb. “At bedtime.”
“Okay.”
Kevin sighed. “Lala, Ollie has to work at your bedtime.”
“I’ll come home for a few minutes,” he said. “They can spare me.”
Loralie lifted her head and took her thumb out of her mouth. “Will you get in trouble?”
“Nope. I’m the boss.”
Loralie leaned a little closer and Ollie saw calculation in her sky-blue eyes. “Can you be your bear when you read to me?”
Ollie threw his head back and laughed.
IN the end, the festering argument was ended by the figurative hand of God.
“Enough!” Allie finally yelled. “We are getting ready for church, so both of you need to stop and get dressed. I don’t want to hear another word. After church, we’ll run by the house and you can get another yo-yo, Mark.”
Sullen silence from the boys.
“And you’re both going to pray for each other during silent prayers.”
Ollie—still eavesdropping from the porch—bit his lip to keep from smiling, but Kevin couldn’t disguise his snort.
“What?” Mark yelled. “Why? Should I pray for Chris not to be so stupid? Is that even possible?”
“Mo-om!”
Ollie stood, picked up Loralie, and walked in the front door.
“You’re gonna pray for your brother,” he said, mussing Mark’s hair, “because it’s harder to be mad at ’em when you’re praying for them. And stop calling your brother stupid.”
Grumbling, both boys dragged themselves up the stairs, and Allie came over to take Loralie from him.
“Lala, go clean your face and then pick out two dresses for church. I’ll come up in a minute.”
“Okay!” Unlike her brothers, Loralie bounced up the stairs.
“And Kevin—”
“I got it,
mamita
.” Kevin walked past Allie and patted the top of her head while Allie, laughing, tried to smack his hand away. “I’ll let you know if there’s any blood.”
She took a deep breath and turned to him. “Enjoy the morning show?”
“Probably more than I should have. A yo-yo string?”
She just closed her eyes and shook her head.
“The forced brotherly prayers were a stroke of genius though. My yaya used to do the same thing to me and my cousins, only it was out loud and in front of whoever we’d been hitting.”
“I might try that.” She glanced at his grubby jeans and T-shirt. “Did you want to come to church with us?”
He’d gotten up early to check the barn and property line. There had been no signs of intruders, but he still checked every morning to be safe and relieve his cousins of duty.
“I got time to take a shower?”
“Yep.”
“Cool.” He bent down and gave her the good-morning kiss he’d been thinking about before the boys started World War Yo-Yo.
“Mmm,” she murmured, her hands going up around his neck. “Good morning to you too.”
He nipped at her lips. “After last night, I probably need to go confess a few things anyway.”
The blush was immediate. “Ollie—”
“You better not,” he said quietly. “I’m teasing you. There was nothing wrong with what we did.”
She closed her eyes and shook her head. “Sorry. You know my family’s traditional. There’s still a lot of voices in my head from the last time I fooled around with a boy I wasn’t married to.”
“Allie-girl, where exactly do you think this is heading?” He kissed her one last time, pinched her bottom, and headed up the stairs before he had time to see her reaction.
In case she’d been wondering about his intentions, she probably wouldn’t be now.
Ollie headed toward his bathroom and pretended his heart wasn’t racing with fear.
BETWEEN church, running to the market for Sunday dinner supplies, and driving by the house to pack up more toys, they were home with barely enough time to start the barbecue before their friends showed up.
The toys had been a challenge. Allie kept saying no, so the kids stopped asking their mom and started asking Ollie. He pretended he didn’t know what they were doing and just kept loading things in the back of the van. She’d probably be mad at him, but the kids seemed happy, so he figured she’d get over it.