Wandering Star: A Zodiac Novel (25 page)

IT’S LATE WHEN I GET
back to the Cancrian embassy, and Lodestars are about to lift the plank for the night. I hurry into the first bungalow, where there are hammocks outfitted with embassy Waves and a saltwater swimming pool. The Cancrian representative at the reception desk gives me my lodging information and shows me the way.

My room is in the third bungalow, beside Nishi’s. I open her door slowly to check on her, and I find her asleep, with Deke’s frozen hologram drifting slowly through the room. I close the door quickly, my pulse beating in my throat.

Stanton and Aryll are bunking together on the other side of my room. I’m sure they’re already asleep, too, so I resist the urge to knock. I’m too pensive to sleep myself, so I take out Vecily’s heart-shaped Ephemeris and turn it over in my hand, thinking of her rotting home. Then, remembering one of my favorite details from the Cancrian embassy on Aries, I head to the top floor of the bungalow to the reading room.

On Cancer, and on most Houses, a reading room is a place for star-reading. Since most Cancrians prefer to study their Ephemerii under natural
starlight, the room is often built as a planetarium. In this embassy, it takes up the whole top floor of this bungalow. The walls and ceiling are cut from crystal, just like Mom’s reading room at home.

I expect it to be dark inside, but when I open the door, I see shimmering lights swirling in black air. A girl walks through them, and in the hollowness of the room, it looks as though she’s wading through real Space. I turn to go, but—

“Stay,” says Pandora.

“No, that’s all right, I was just—”

I spy a gaze as dark as midnight shining from a spot on the floor, watching me. I forget my excuse and stare back at Mathias, who, save for his eyes, is wrapped completely in shadow.

“How are you?” I chance.

No answer.

“He’s been a lot better since reuniting with his parents,” says Pandora softly.

I walk across the room to the wall Mathias is sitting against, and I join him, leaving a few feet between us. He’s still watching me, but at least he doesn’t move away. Pandora hangs back, staring at the lights of her Ephemeris, giving us space but not any privacy.

“I heard about what happened at the Plenum.” Mathias’s voice is so weak, his words might as well be the whistling of wind. He clears his throat and adds, “I’m . . . proud of you.”

I wonder whether it’s speaking or just my presence that’s making him miserable, and I wince. “I didn’t do anything.”

“Rho.” At the sound of my name, my heart releases a sharp punch, and I let myself look up into Mathias’s eyes. “You restored Cancer’s reputation.”

This time the words come out effortlessly, and I think he might mean them. “Thank you.” Emboldened but still cautious, I say, “I . . . I was hoping we could talk. You know, whenever you’re ready.”

Mathias rises, and I know I shouldn’t have said anything.

“Yeah,” he says, walking over to Pandora. He stops before her, and she takes his hand and squeezes it. If he says something to her, I can’t hear it, then he continues past her, out the door. To my surprise, she doesn’t leave with him.

“I can go, or . . . I mean, you don’t have to stay here with me,” I say as I stand up, unsure I want to get to know this girl. “I only came for a stroll. I didn’t realize anyone would be in here.”

“We star-readers are creatures of the night,” she says, her amethyst eyes practically glowing in the dark, reflecting the constellations.

“How is Mathias really doing?” My throat closes on his name.

“Better. I probably won’t be here much longer,” she adds in a lower register.

Even though I’m not displeased by this news, I can’t help but hear the disappointment in her voice. Her feelings for Mathias—and her fear that he might not need her anymore—are as obvious on her as they’ve probably always been on me.

But does he love her back?

“How . . . what’s he like? Now that he’s . . . been away for so long?” My greedy heart can’t help itself—I miss him more than I can let myself feel. For five years, he’s taken up so much space in my mind, but the past few months he’s lodged himself in so deep, I don’t think I can uproot him without leaving a permanent scar.

“He’s quiet,” she says in her normal, airy voice. “He mostly holds my hand and thinks. He used to wake up every night, screaming, but he doesn’t anymore. Sometimes he’ll speak in his sleep, though. Those nights, he only says one word.” Her eyes flash to mine.
“Rho.”

My heart feels like a carafe that’s close to overspilling. I have to turn away, pretending to study the lights of the Ephemeris while my pulse slows. “If you’re a Nightwing . . . have you seen anything in your reads about what’s coming?”

“No . . . but I have seen something . . .”

Her voice trails off, and she orbits the holographic Helios, turning her face away from mine. A cloud drifts past the full Taurian moon above us, and the map glows brighter in the deepening dark, dappling the glossy floor with its lights and shadowing her profile with mystery. I survey the ground for an Astralator or another mathematical tool, but there’s nothing, and Pandora didn’t seem to bring any supplies.

“How do you do your reads?”

“I’m different, like you.” She looks at me, semi-smiling, but there aren’t enough stars out to be certain.

“On Aquarius, we use astrogeometry instead of astroalgebra. We make predictions based on the new shapes formed by the stars shifting in the sky.” She paints invisible lines with her finger connecting the moons of Sagittarius and shows how they form an unevenly five-sided shape. “Most Aquarian Acolytes measure the movement with an Astralator to decode the new patterns, but I solve the degree differences between the old and new shapes in my head.”

I nod. She’s a natural, like me, only her instincts lean more toward the math than the stars.

“My instructors disapprove of my methods,” she says, her words gathering speed and energy, “even though my reads are right eighty-six percent of the time. Then I heard about you, how you didn’t use an Astralator and were predicting something nobody else could see . . . like I was. Then Mallie told me about you, and she believed in you so much that I signed up for the armada. I realized I could keep trying to fit in at the Academy, or I could leave and search for where I belong.”

My insides freeze.

The crystal room has transformed into a Snow Globe, filling up with an icy memory. I press my head into the wall to steady myself as images from the worst day from my childhood resurface. Pandora just reminded me of the last words Mom spoke to me.

“Rho? Is everything okay?” she asks, walking over to me.

“Yeah, just . . . déjà vu,” I say vaguely, still pressing my forehead to the cold crystal.

“On Aquarius, we have another name for déjà vu,” she says, her voice dipping to a whisper. Her breath forms puffs of vapor on the crystal wall next to our faces. “We call it
starstruck
. We believe the sensation comes from the stars picking out a moment in your life to highlight, and it’s up to you to discover the reason.”

I stare into her wide amethyst eyes, and I realize she still hasn’t answered my question. “Pandora . . . what have you Seen?”

“I still See it,” she whispers. “When I Center myself as deeply as I can . . . I feel this
heaviness
. My predictions show . . . something awful.” Her waterfall of hair swallows her face, but I can still see her orb-like eyes, which have grown larger and rounder. “I’ve Seen that Helios is going to go dark . . . and then the rest of the Houses will follow.”

A chill ripples through me as I picture the moons of Cancer flickering and their eventual turn to darkness, then I imagine that same thing happening across the entire Zodiac.

“Someone’s going to turn off the sun,” she whispers. “Have you ever seen an omen like that?”

I shake my head, and for a moment, I know what it must be like to listen to my warnings of Ochus. Staring into Pandora’s terrified face, all I can think to myself is
please let her be wrong
.

When I’m back in my room minutes later, I’m still contemplating her vision. I don’t know what to make of it; all I know is if someone is going to turn off the Zodiac’s light, the best way for an
everlasting flame
to fight back is by burning even brighter.

I WAKE UP TO MY
own screams.

Footsteps pound the floor, and I hear my door opening in the darkness. “Rho?”

“Stan . . . sorry,” I blurt between breaths.
“Nightmare.”

As I say the word, I catch a glimpse of the dream.
Every House in our galaxy going dark, every planet being consumed by Dark Matter, our galactic sun burning into ashes
 . . .
Pandora’s omen.

My vision adjusts to the night’s blackness as my brother sits down across from me on the bed. Cross-legged, the way he used to do when we were kids. “Want to hear a story?”

I nod and close my eyes, eager for Stanton’s voice to fill my head and drive out everything else.

“There once was a little girl whose name I can’t remember, so let’s call her Rho.” That’s how he often used to start his stories, and the familiar detail makes me smile in the dark.

“Rho carried within her a light so bright that it outshined those around
her. At first, she was afraid to stand out, so she tried to muffle that light by stuffing it deep within her hard Cancrian shell. While Rho managed to fool most, a few people still caught glimpses of that light—in the passion behind her stare, or the sweetness of her smile, or the purity of her soul. So bright was that light that it soon burned right through her shell, and
everyone
noticed.

“The world was so blinded by Rho’s brightness that they didn’t know how to react. Some were attracted to her light and wanted her to lead them. Some were scared of it and wanted her to shut it off. And two fell in love with her and wanted to make her light theirs.”

My eyes fly open, and I stare at my brother in mortified alarm. But he keeps narrating.

“Rho thought she didn’t have anyone to talk to, that even her brother wouldn’t understand. Until she gave him a chance, and he swore he’d trust her judgment. He also, however, imparted some humble advice of his own—because if he didn’t, he wouldn’t be doing his job as the older sibling.”

I grin with nervous relief. The final obstacle standing between Stanton and me isn’t actually there at all. “This is one of your better stories,” I tell him.

“His advice to her was this: Forget everyone else for a moment and all their claims to your light. You’ve always done things for other people. Moving to Elara, accepting the Guardianship, leading the armada, coming here . . . but tomorrow, do what’s best for you.”

His story now at an end, Stanton takes my hand. “For once, don’t worry about the rest of us, Rho. There’ll be time to save the Zodiac, to choose a path, and a partner, and a home planet—but before your light can guide others, you have to let it illuminate
you
.”

I lean forward and hug him. “When’d you get so wise?”

“Must’ve been all the brainberries I ate on Capricorn,” he says into my ear.

When we pull apart, I rest my back against the headboard and exhale deeply. “I’m sorry I didn’t say anything about Hysan or Mathias.”

“It’s okay. Your attempts at lying are too funny to be upsetting.”

“Thanks. Hey, can I trade you in for the brother from your story?”

“No, but you can take over as storyteller.” He leans back on his elbows and stretches out his legs, his feet next to me and pressing into the headboard. “Tell me, what did Rho say to her brother after he gave her such sage advice?”

“She thanked him . . . and she admitted that while she has no clue how she feels about the two guys, she’s starting to understand how she feels about herself and her place in the Zodiac. And she thinks he’s right—that might be enough for now.”

“I’m glad for her,” he says soothingly. “But remember, we can’t stop until we’ve arrived at a death or a wedding.” That’s how we always concluded our tales as kids—weddings for comedies, deaths for tragedies.

“So for the story’s sake, at least,” he says, “and just between us—which guy’s it gonna be? The Cancrian or the Libran?”

“I think this one’s going to have to end on a cliffhanger.”

I push his feet off the headboard, slide lower beneath the covers, and rest my head on a pillow. At the other end of the bed, Stanton snaps up to sitting. “Rho, you know that’s not how we end our—”

“Good night.”

I roll over and pull the sheets across my head, and I feel Stanton’s weight lift off the mattress. “Fine,” he says indignantly.
“To be continued.”

Next morning I wake up to the rustling sounds of someone in my room. I crack an eye open to find Sirna bustling around the vanity and setting out beauty supplies. There’s a white dress laid out on the hammock.

“What’s going—?”

Before I can finish my question, the door opens and a couple of redheads walk in, carrying baskets filled with even more cosmetic supplies. I shriek and leap across the room, pulling Lola and Leyla in for a hug.
“I’ve missed you both so much!”

“We’re so happy you’re well, Wandering Star!” says the elder sister, Lola, her big red curls framing her gleeful face. “Mother Agatha gave us leave to dress you for today’s festivities.”

Beside her, Leyla’s sapphire gaze is as direct as always, her mind full of thoughts she doesn’t share. In all of yesterday’s excitement, I’d forgotten that before ending the Plenum session, Ambassador Crompton announced that today would be a holiday at the village.

“Lola and Leyla will take care of you,” says Sirna, handing me a plush blue robe.

“Thanks,” I say, pulling it on. “Would you mind if I invited Nishi, too?”

“Not at all.”

I sprint next door and knock. “Come in,” she calls.

Nishi’s sitting upright on the side of the bed, facing away from me. She’s wearing her traveling space suit, and her suitcase is beside her on the floor.

“What’s going on?” I ask.

She doesn’t turn to face me, and when I walk around to look at her, I see that she’s only just stopped crying. “I’m going home, Rho.” She stares out the window as she speaks. “My parents are back from Libra, and they have no idea where I am or where I’ve been. I need to see them . . . and get away from everything here. I need to find somewhere quiet.”

“I know,” I say, sitting down and taking her hand.

She looks up at me. “I’ve loved him since we were twelve, Rho. I don’t know who I am without him.”

“I’m sorry I haven’t been here for you,” I say, squeezing her fingers, “but I already testified, I’m done here—I can come with you to Sagittarius. Or we can go somewhere else if you want, anywhere—”

“No . . . you can’t.” The sudden steadiness in her stare takes me aback.
“You have to stay here and finish this. Otherwise Deke died for nothing.”

I crush my best friend—my
sister
—to me, and she cries onto my shoulder. She only pulls away when there’s a knock on the door.

“It’s probably Hysan,” she says, sitting up. At the sound of his name, my heart beats harder. “He’s taking me to the spaceport. He booked me passage on a Libran ship. Will you talk to him while I wash my face?”

She slips into the small bathroom, and my hand trembles a little as I open the door. Hysan’s green eyes flash with surprise. “My lady,” he says, bowing.

“Nishi will be right out,” I say awkwardly.

“You were spectacular yesterday.” The wornness of his expression makes me want to reach out and stroke his cheek, but it’d be unfair to do when I don’t know what that kind of touch would mean.

“You left midway through,” I say. It sounds like an accusation, and I wish I hadn’t said it.

“I’ve had a lot of work to do on Neith.”

Everything I discussed with Neith on the ship comes flying back to me, and I swallow it back with difficulty. “Are you any closer to figuring out what happened to him?”

Hysan shakes his head. “I think it might have been a fluke, just a temporary misfire in his wiring.” He’s speaking in a different decibel than normal, like he doesn’t believe his own words.

“If you need help, I’m here,” I say. “Or if you just want to talk or anything . . .”

“I always want to talk, Rho,” he says softly. “It’s you I’m still waiting on.”

Nishi comes out just then, and Hysan brushes past me to lift her bag before she can reach for it. He carries it out into the hallway and waits for her there.

“Wave me when you get home,” I say, wrapping Nishi in my arms. “I love you, Nish.”

“I love you, too,” she says into my ear. “Stay safe. And tell your brother I said bye.”

When I return to my room, Sirna’s gone, and Lola and Leyla start their work. While they wash my hair, shave my legs, and clip my nails, Lola fills me in on what they’ve been up to. I learn that they stayed on Oceon 6 after I left, and when Agatha was named the new Guardian, they were dispatched to Gemini to meet her there. When I landed on Hydragyr, I had only a moment to greet Agatha because she was embarking on a tour of the Cancrian settlements on the other Houses, so I didn’t get to see the sisters.

“We were visiting Libra when this emergency session was called,” concludes Lola.

“What’s it like on each settlement?”

“Hard,” she admits. “On every House, Cancrians are trying to re-create Cancer . . . but they can’t. That’s why Gemini is so popular. People can still see their home and loved ones in the Imaginariums.”

I grow quiet as I picture what it would be like to see Dad again. Or Mom. I’m so lost in my own Imaginarium that by the time I focus on my reflection again, my hair is glossy and wavy like it was for my swearing-in ceremony. Sirna chose a single-shoulder dress for me to wear, its pure white color also reminding me of that night. The airy material gently hugs my figure, and I look a little like the warrior Rho from the Ophiuchus glyph. Except that one of my arms is still fully bandaged.

Lola paints my face with subtle, natural makeup suitable for daytime, and my lips are a glossy pink that shines and sparkles. When Lola leaves to help Agatha get ready, Leyla stays with me longer to add a final touch to my hair. She braids the two front sections and pulls them back so that the style resembles a coronet. “You look older,” she says, only venturing to speak
now that we’re alone. “Like someone who’s grown too much in too short a time—but only on the inside.”

Immediately I’m reminded of what Jewel said about Stanton the morning Mom abandoned us. “Leyla . . . have you ever thought about becoming a Lodestar?”

She shares with me a rare smile. “Mother Agatha secured me a place in the Geminin Academy. I start next year.”

“That’s great! And Lola?”

“Serving our Holy Mother has always been her dream. She’s going to stay with Agatha.”

After she’s packed up her supplies and is about to go, I tell her, “You and Lola mean a lot to me.” I’ve never blessed someone before, but something compels me to touch her forehead, the way Agatha touched mine the night I was made Guardian.

“May your sight always be this clear, may your soul always be this pure, and may your heart always lead you to happiness.”

Leyla bows deeply, for the first time seeming moved. “Thank you, Wandering Star.”

There’s a sudden hammering on the door. “Your escorts, Rho!”

Leyla opens it to reveal Stanton and Aryll, who are sporting matching baby blue silk suits they must have purchased at the stores in the Taurian embassy. “It was Aryll’s idea,” says Stanton, seeing the smirk that must be on my face.

“Liar!” shouts Aryll, shoving my brother.

Leyla turns to me and says, “I should help Lola.” As she’s shutting the door, I notice a funny look come over her features, as if she’s seen something troubling.

I look to the guys. Aryll is trying to spray Stanton’s curls with my glossing spray. “Let’s go!” I reach for the Wave on my bed, all the while wondering what was wrong with Leyla, but my fingers stop just shy of the golden
clamshell. Tonight, for the first time in forever, I want to disconnect—if only for a few hours.

So I follow the guys out of the room and try to leave everything else behind.