Wandering Star: A Zodiac Novel (29 page)

My throat grows sore as a glacial grip closes in on my neck, and I feel like I’m fighting for breath.
It’s not real, it’s not real, it’s not real.

“Or Corinthe sticking that knife into your arm.” Again, actual pain blazes through me, a memory made real, and I clutch my bandaged arm to be sure it’s not really happening. “Or your dead father, what must he have looked like when he kicked it . . .” To my horror, a shadowy form begins to take shape in front of me. “Let’s see, he drowned in the sea, so his corpse would be bloated—”

“Stop it!” I shriek as Dad’s features begin to fill in, only deformed, colorless, dead—and I take off the glasses.

The room is dark again. Dad is gone. So is my little Helios.

In the blackness, Aryll looms larger. I feel a chill in my chest, and I thrust the glasses back on, more afraid of what I can’t see.

The dark lifts only a little. Quickly, I picture Helios again, and the small sun materializes.

A cold hand covers my mouth, and another grips my waist. “Imagine all the ways I could kill you,” whispers Aryll in my ear. “I could stab you in the back right now.” I feel a knife dig into me, and the pain is so blinding that for a moment I think he actually did it. “Or I could crush you from the inside. Destroy all your reasons for living.”

I brace for the worst pain of all, but instead he lets go of me. He’s taking his time. He doesn’t seem afraid that he’ll get caught. Or that I’ll escape. “After all, what’s the point of killing you if you don’t know you’re dead?”

“But you saved Stanton.”

“The price of admission into your heart,
my lady
.” He mocks Hysan’s centaur smile, only on Aryll it’s a delirious grin.

“Why wait until now to show yourself?”

“At first I was only supposed to get close to you and collect information,” he says, resuming his orbit of the room. “But when Corinthe failed, I decided to carry out my master’s plan in her stead. I was going to kill everyone on the ship that night, then broadcast your deaths to the Zodiac. But then I discovered Hysan knew something—a secret that would make me invaluable to my master.”

I stifle a gasp. Hysan’s lie about the Thirteenth Talisman—his deception saved all our lives.

“The Libran was smart,” says Aryll. “I had to be smarter. He already disliked me, so I had to be careful not to give myself away. That meant refraining from killing everyone who came over from the Marad ship, even though their knowledge could pose a threat.”

I turn in a slow circle to keep my eyes on him as he paces. “You mean the hostages we rescued?”

“And the Risers you took hostage.”

I frown. “Why would you kill your fellow soldiers?”

“Corinthe is no soldier. She disrespected my master. Showing you her face, trying to kill you ahead of schedule—she’s just as much a liability as the others.”

“Why didn’t she recognize you if you’re both Marad?”

“Nobody knows I’m Marad. For a month now I’ve been working for my master on a secret mission.” He stops walking when he’s in front of me, standing just a few paces away.
“You.”

He whips off the eye patch, and I scream. His eye isn’t missing—it’s in a state of transformation. It’s grown into an oversized orb, and the skin around it is drooping and flaking off. He’s beginning the molting process—the sunburn, his peeling nose, they’re all signs of the shift.

My muscles quiver, and I dig the nails of my right hand into my palm until pain overpowers my fear. Aryll is more of a psychopath than Corinthe. He’s one of the Marad’s top men. He’s been close to us. He knows me.

“We loved you,” I whisper.

“And love overpowers hate, right?” he says excitedly, as if he’s eager to trade philosophies. “Only that’s a lie you Cancrians made up. I never felt the love. I could tell that you and your idiot brother felt it, but being around you two only made me feel my emptiness. It filled me with hate. And I think that if I’ve ever loved anything, it’s
hate
.”

The space between us has shrunk to arm’s length. My fists are still clenched at my sides. “Who is your master?” I demand.

“You really do have a deluded sense of self. And yes, I know I’m not one to talk.” His leering smile unnerves me. “You’re just a teenage girl who’s seen a few visions—you’re not a
star
. While you’re off predicting tomorrow, my master’s foreseeing the next age of man. Didn’t you ever wonder how I knew exactly what to say and do? How to make you and your brother love
me enough for you to throw aside the Libran’s warnings? How I knew about the White Dove?”

“You studied our family.”

“I studied
you
. My master has long seen your coming. Why do you think you grew up motherless?”

No.
I refuse to believe his words. He’s using this place as a weapon, trying to mess with my mind, to unravel my imagination—

The heavy door bangs open as Mathias and Stanton burst into the room, halting as soon as they cross the threshold. “Imagine light!” I shout.

“I underestimated you,” says Aryll, who’s now slowly backing away from me. “I thought after getting two of your friends killed, you wouldn’t risk the lives of more. Now you’ll have their heads on your conscience, too.”

As threatening as Aryll sounds, I know he also feels threatened. I can tell from the tight, clipped nature of his new tone that he wasn’t counting on my bringing friends. He thinks he understands the concept of selflessness because he knows its definition, but he doesn’t have the emotions to feel it.

Aryll has assumed that my guilt over having defended him to Hysan would consume me, driving me to reckless measures—like meeting him here on my own. And if this were last month, he would have been right about me.

But operating alone, in secrecy, was what got Mathias taken hostage. Deke was right: If I’m going to unite our worlds, I have to start by trusting the people fighting beside me. I have to accept help. I have to allow my friends to choose their own fates.

Stanton and Mathias must have been able to manifest light, because I see them running over to me. Their faces freeze with revulsion at the sight of Aryll’s oversized eye.

“Aryll—what’s going on?”

Stanton’s question frightens me. That’s my brother’s voice, but it also isn’t. He’s only sounded like this once before.

“Come on, big guy,” says Aryll. “Don’t go projecting your abandonment issues on me. I saved your life—I think we can all agree that pretty much gives me immunity for any sins I commit against you. Or maybe it doesn’t. I know who we could ask! The Libran. He’s a good judge, isn’t he?” Aryll’s asymmetrical gaze jumps back to me. “Too bad he’s in love with you. That can’t be good for his health.”

“Where is he?” I growl.

“Tied to an explosive somewhere in this room, hidden under one of my Veils. There’s a shield preventing all communication in this building, so he can’t use his Scan to send messages. Are you listening now?”

None of us says a word.

“I could have wasted time torturing him, but I already know there’s only one thing that will break him. That’s why you’re here.” He looks at me. “He dies no matter what, but he has a chance to save you if he tells me what I want to know. And since I’m prepared to go down with this building, your time is his to waste.”

Aryll turns around. The next moment, Hysan materializes. His hands are chained to a heavy device that’s bolted to the floor. Red numbers count down on a screen: We have three and a half minutes before it blows.

“I told you there was no need to involve her,” says Hysan, his voice groggy, as if he’s just waking up—or he’s been drugged. The moment his face is free, he flashes golden light into the room from his Scan, and we all lose the glasses.

“I thought I’d bring a little incentive,” says Aryll, “to keep you honest. So, tell me where the Talisman is, and she and I will leave the rest of you to die.”

Mathias darts forward to attack, but Aryll hurriedly backs away, holding up a white pearl. The one he’s kept in his locket the whole time. “Don’t move,” he warns, edging closer to me. “I can activate the bomb this instant if I drop this pearl.”

Mathias freezes in his place, right above where Hysan sits. “Fine,” says Mathias, backing away slowly—but before he does, I spot the glint of something dropping from his hand onto the floor.

Suddenly my brother lets out a ferocious growl and jumps at Aryll.

None of us expect it, least of all Aryll. He hesitates a moment, staring at my brother in bewilderment, and I use his distraction to reach out and swipe the pearl from his hand. I toss it to Mathias, who catches it. Behind him, Hysan is using my hairpin to try to undo his chains. Aryll thrusts Stanton into me, and we both fall backward.

“
Trust Only What You Can Touch
, Rho!” Aryll launches something at me, and it bounces off my shoulder onto the floor next to my face. Stanton’s already rolled off me and is rising to his feet as I stretch my hand out for the object.

I gasp.

It’s Mom’s black seashell.

I SHOOT TO MY FEET,
the seashell in my hand, and start chasing after my brother, who’s chasing after Aryll, when a hard, urgent voice stops my muscles.

“Can you deactivate it?”

I spin around, and in the fringe of my vision I see Stanton turn, too. Mathias has taken over trying to unlock the chains binding Hysan to the bomb, but he’s not making progress. Hysan is examining the explosive and trying to disarm it—there are forty-five seconds left on the timer.

As though he feels the gravity of my gaze on him, Hysan looks up, and his green eyes meet mine. “Rho,
GO
!” he shouts before refocusing on the bomb.

Mathias stops working on Hysan’s chains and springs over to Stanton and me. “You have to get out of here!” He’s practically pushing us toward the door. “Take your brother—”

“Help Hysan!” I shout back at him, and Mathias ducks back down to the chains. Hysan’s Scan is rifling through a variety of devices, searching for the
right deactivation schematics. Every time he finds a potential match, he attempts to sync the hologram with the device, but the timer keeps ticking. By his fifth attempt, he looks up at me again, his face pale with perspiration.

Eighteen seconds.

“
RHO!
” Hysan yells at me.
“Please—there’s nothing you can do!”

Mathias suddenly stands and lifts me over his shoulder.

“
NO—MATHIAS—NO!
” I scream, kicking at his chest as he rushes me out of the room. Stanton takes my hand and runs alongside us.

My brother looks as wretched as me, but he doesn’t slow down or stop Mathias. “Rho, there’s nothing we can do,” he says over my punching and shrieking.

We’re halfway out the door when Hysan triumphantly shouts.

“GOT IT!”

Mathias sets me down on the floor, and I fly back inside the room and throw my arms around Hysan. Both our faces are drenched with sweat, but I don’t care.

“I’m sorry, Rho, I didn’t think about how planting that lie would affect you—”

“I’m the one who’s sorry,” I cut in, holding him tighter. “You were right. I should have listened to you. This is my fault—”

“No, it’s
mine
.” He pulls back to look me in the eye. “He came up to me in the village and goaded me into a fight. I just lost my objectivity—and the moment I got close, he injected me with a sedative. I woke up here.”

Heavy, hurried footsteps fill the hall, and Hysan and I look over at Mathias and Stanton, who are standing by the door.

Suddenly the room’s overhead lights blast on, and two dozen Lodestars spill inside, led by Ambassador Sirna and Lord Neith. “Thank Helios you’re all right!” she says, surveying the four of us. “We came as soon as I realized our line of communication was cut.”

Lord Neith’s face fills with relief when he sees Hysan. He pulls out what looks like a long, thin lighter, only when he flicks it on, the red flame that
blazes out isn’t fire but a powerful laser. It slices through the metal chains binding Hysan’s wrists. The moment Hysan is upright, Lord Neith bends down and gives him a father’s hug.

I know now more than ever that Hysan will never consent to destroy Neith. He’s too human.

“You were attacked,” says Sirna, looking to me to fill her in on the details. The cavalry of Lodestars stands ramrod straight around us, awaiting orders.

I nod. “Aryll had an explosive. Hysan deactivated it.”

Neith’s chest puffs with pride.

“He got away,” says Mathias, “but we could still catch him.”

Sirna nods and turns to the Zodai. “We search the grounds for Aryll. Red hair, one eye, sunburn. Spread the word through the Psy.” She looks at me while the Lodestars touch their Rings and start speaking soundlessly. “Do you have a holographic capture of him?”

I shake my head.

“I can describe him to a Chronicler, and we can create one,” says Stanton from where he’s standing, off to the side and apart from the group. His voice still sounds too fragile. I’m about to suggest he head back to the embassy, but then his expression reminds me of the guilt that so weighed me down after the armada, immobilizing me to the point where I lost all trust in myself.

Thinking back on that feeling of helplessness, I know I have to let Stanton contribute what he can right now. Not because he did anything wrong that he needs to make up for, but because it’s the only way he’ll feel right.

“Thank you,” says Sirna to my brother. “The other Zodai are gathering. Let’s join them and not lose more time.”

“Did you find anything on Squary?” I ask her as we walk briskly through the embassy to the exit.

“Nothing yet. A group of my most trusted Stridents are looking into it. I’ll check in with them again tonight, but first we must deal with Aryll.”

Outside, platoons of Zodai from every House are gathered on the Geminin embassy’s lawn. Stanton approaches the brown-suited Chroniclers, while Sirna meets with the leaders of the other troops and updates them on what’s happening. I turn around to look for Hysan and Mathias and find them standing together on the building’s front steps, set back from all the activity.

“Where’d Lord Neith go?” I ask, joining them.

“He’s searching the forest for Aryll. Superspeed mode,” says Hysan. Deep dimples dig into his cheeks—I haven’t seen him smile since Sagittarius. “Thanks for the rescue, Thais,” he says, looking from me to Mathias.

“I owed you one,” Mathias says back to him.

Hysan’s still smiling, but something changes as he looks into Mathias’s face in this brighter light. I look, too, and I notice it. Mathias’s lower lip is still shiny and glossy pink.

I watch Hysan’s gaze lower to Mathias’s bed clothes and bare feet, and my heart starts thrumming louder.

He looks up only when we hear Pandora and Mathias’s parents call out. They’re racing toward us from the Cancrian embassy. As Mathias climbs down the steps to greet and reassure them, Hysan turns to me. There’s no trace of light left anywhere on his face.

“I’m sorry that I was right about Aryll,” he says, his voice hard.

“Hysan, I apologized for not believing you—”

“I’m even sorrier I was right about you.”

“What you saw doesn’t mean what you think it means—”

“It means you only spent the night with me because we were about to die. But in a world with a tomorrow, I’m not even an option,” he says in a flat tone. “Even if I did everything right, it would never be enough. You will always choose a Cancrian over me.”

My whole face goes slack, as if I’ve been slapped. “Hysan, this has
nothing
to do with our Houses—”

“Wake up! It’s
all
to do with our Houses.” His face is so close to mine that under different circumstances, my mouth would be pressed into his and not
pursed in a scowl. “You like the
idea
of inter-House relationships because you like the fairness of the freedom of choice, but it’s not
your
choice. You proved it when you trusted a fake Cancrian over me, and again tonight, when you chose Mathias.”

He backs away from me, his eyes growing more distant with every step. “In theory, you’re enlightened, but you have a long way to go before you’re really thinking with an open mind. I wish you luck with that.”

I watch him walk away from me, too stupefied to react.

“Are you okay?” asks Mathias’s baritone behind me.

I turn to face him. His parents and Pandora are climbing back down the stairs. Pandora sneaks a glance back at us, and I wonder if she saw the lipstick, too.

“I’m . . . I’m just sorry,” I blurt, my emotions rising up within me and refusing to stay down. “That’s all I ever say anymore, but I am. I’m sorry for having feelings for both of you, I’m sorry for leading us into danger again, I’m sorry for getting both of you kidnapped,
I’m sorry
—”

Mathias pulls me into his chest and holds me there, but I try to push him away. “No—don’t forgive me, because you don’t even know what I’ve done. Back on Aries, I was with Hysan, we—”

“Rho, I don’t care.”

His hold tightens, and I stop resisting. “At Helios’s Halo, you told me that surviving is harder than dying. Because the person you were before the attack
does
die, and then you have to figure yourself out all over again. Remember?” I nod against his chest. “Whatever happened before, we were different people then. We need to figure out who we are now. I think maybe that’s something we each do alone.”

Before I can respond, Stanton and Sirna approach with news, and we pull apart. “Rho, I’m going to help look for Aryll,” says my brother. Around us, only the Zodai from Cancer and Capricorn still linger; everyone else is already searching.

“I’m coming with you.”

“I’m sorry, Rho, but you can’t,” says Sirna, holding up a hand to delay my protest. “I’m under strict orders from the Guardians to keep you safe. You must return to the embassy.”

“But they can’t—”

“Actually, they can,” she says, her voice dipping to a whisper so that the Zodai can’t eavesdrop. “Rho, you accepted the role of Wandering Star. Even though you’re not in an official position of power, you’re very much back in the public spotlight. You’re the face of our unity. The Guardians will always want you protected.”

“I’ll swing by your room later,” says Stanton, interrupting before I can fully process Sirna’s meaning. They set off, followed by the two teams of Zodai, until only Mathias and I are left.

Mathias grabs my arm before I can chase after them. “Rho, don’t.” My foot is already on the next step down. “The most they might do is capture Aryll tonight, and even then they won’t let you question him. Just wait until tomorrow. There’s nothing you can do.”

I want to argue, but my body is past exhaustion. My feet are so numb I can’t feel them. So I let Mathias guide me to the Cancrian embassy. “Are you going to stay on Taurus with your parents?”

“For a little. Just until I decide what to do next. What about you?”

“I’m going back to Capricorn—
if the Guardians allow it
.”

I’m still reeling from Sirna’s words. How much control did I just give the Guardians over me? And how come nobody mentioned it earlier, like
before
I accepted this title?

We stop walking when we’re outside my room at the Cancrian embassy, one floor beneath the Thaises’ place. Mathias brushes the side of my face with the tips of his fingers. “When will you leave?”

“Depends on whether or not they find Aryll,” I say, my skin sensitive from his touch. “If he’s caught, I’m sticking around. If not . . . maybe tomorrow.”

“So soon?”

“If Aryll makes it back to his master, who knows what his next move might be? I need to talk to Ferez. We need a real plan this time.”

Mathias nods, and he leans down, until his mouth meets mine. The force of his kiss presses me into the doorframe, sapping my muscles of their final stores of strength. “I know I just said we should be on our own,” he whispers when he pulls away, “but I don’t know if I can part with you now that I’ve found you again.”

“There’s always a place for you at the Fluffy Giraffe Resort . . . in fact, a vacancy just opened up in our suite.”

His lips land on mine for a final soft kiss. “Don’t be surprised when I actually show up.”