Wanderlust (18 page)

I had once wondered who had broken
him, and now I knew the answer. That girl had when she lied about
him. The judge and jury had when they convicted and sentenced him.
His fellow priests had turned against him. The inmates had attacked
him.

The whole world had turned against him
and in a way, he had cracked. He wasn’t entirely right in the head.
Even knowing this about him, caring for him, I had to admit that
his actions at that motel had been inexcusable.

But in another way, he wasn’t broken.
He lived, he felt, he suffered like any person.

More than other people.

A clink sounded on the kitchen table
beside the laptop. Car keys.

I looked up at Jeremiah. “No
way.”

“
Don’t give me a hard time
about this, missy. I know what I’m doing.”

“
I can’t take your
car.”

“
You take it and go where
you want to go. Then if you still need a place to stay, you come
back here. Ain’t no use for a man as old as me to be alive if he
can’t help someone who needs it.”

“
Jeremiah. I don’t have a
license. If I get caught—”

He cackled. “Lord, girl. I don’t have
a title for that car neither. You just don’t get
caught.”

I narrowed my eyes. “Did you steal
it?”

“
Grand theft auto, is that
what you’re trying to charge me with?” He sat down opposite me and
grew serious. “About four years ago I was wandering the country,
hitching rides and doing what I had to in truck stations to earn
money for food, if you know what I mean.”

My heart clenched. “Oh,
Jeremiah.”

“
Now, don’t go feeling
sorry for me. I made my bed, and I never really regretted it
neither. But this one day a guy met up with me in the stalls. We
did our business and he handed me the money—along with the keys. I
figured it was some kind of setup, but I took it anyway.

“
Drove straight to my
daughter’s house even though I hadn’t spoken to her in a decade.
She was real good to me. Put me up for a while, helped me access my
VA benefits, and I finally could afford this house. Kept the car,
though. Now it’s yours.”

My heart felt overfull. “Okay. I’ll
use it but I’ll bring it back.”

He shook his head vehemently. “I don’t
need it. I’m an old man with nowhere to go. I get groceries
delivered twice a month. I figure that man at the truck stop saw
that I needed the car more than he did, and that’s why I’m giving
it to you. Just get where you need to go. That’s all that
matters.”

CHAPTER
FOURTEEN

Rainbows appear almost
every day as sunlight reflects off the mist from the
falls.

As I pulled the old blue Toyota next
to a parking meter a mile away from the Niagara Falls State Park
entrance, it occurred to me that there may be nothing here for
me.

Groups of people bustled by laden with
strollers and diaper bags. Concessions were sold from street
vendors. Signs announced that the Maiden of the Mist—this being the
name of the ship—gave tours. Even the skyline was populated
erratically with tall business buildings. It was all far more
modern and commercial than any of the pictures in my book had
been.

But the falls fulfilled their prophecy
and took my breath away on sight. Or rather, on sighting one of
them, because the expanse of the three falls together was far more
than I could have visualized before. It felt enormous—and
considering it divided two large countries, I supposed that made
sense. There were multiple rainbows arching over the falls, closer
than I’d ever seen one but also see-through…rather ghostly,
really.

I went to an exhibit where I heard
some of the same facts from the book, about the daredevils who went
down the falls in barrels, about the tightrope walker. There was
even a short segment on the Hermit of Niagara Falls, which I found
gratifying in the extreme. After all, if Jeremiah hadn’t been
stretching the truth about that, maybe all the other stories were
true too. I hoped so. It was a full life. Some good, some bad, but
the man knew how to have adventures.

I did go on the large boat to get up
close and personal with the falls, getting drenched despite the
poncho they gave us. There was an option to go into the tunnels
behind the falls, though I found cave-dwelling far less interesting
without Hunter there to float with me.

By the time I had seen all
there was to see, the day was waning. I counted the money Jeremiah
had loaned me, feeling guilty all the while.
Get where you need to go,
he’d said.
But I was here, and I still hadn’t found what I was looking for. It
was becoming less clear what that really was.

I fed the parking meter and walked
over to the hostel that I’d found online before coming here. Thirty
bucks got me a clean bed, even if I did have to share a room. The
girl barely looked up from her book when I came in. I glanced at
the cover and did a double take.

Everything You Wanted to
Know About Niagara Falls.

“
I read that,” I
exclaimed.

I knew I sounded like a moron, but I
couldn’t help it. Alone in the world, it was nice to find common
ground in even the smallest ways.

“
You going to work on the
Maiden too?” At my puzzled look, she continued. “The Maiden of the
Mist. I’m studying to pass the test so I can be one of their tour
guides.” She rolled her eyes. “Sorry. Adventure guides.”

“
No. At least, I hadn’t
planned to.”

But there was a thought. I had most of
the information memorized already. At least then I could earn back
the money I’d borrowed from Jeremiah while I formulated a new plan.
Still, I felt ambivalent about the falls. It wasn’t their fault I’d
pinned so much on them. They couldn’t deliver me what I wanted, I
knew that now. I’d probably always known.

The girl shut the book and groaned.
“The first person to map the Niagara Falls was a French priest in
1678.” She considered. “Well, except for the Native Americans. So I
guess the book is wrong.”

“
Yeah,” I said wryly.
“I’ve heard that.”

She tossed it onto the bed. “Sometimes
I think history isn’t really what happened. It’s how you look at
it.”

I grinned. “You and me are going to
get along fine.”

“
You got a
name?”

“
Evie. And
you?”

“
Sarah. I moved here with
my dumbass boyfriend. Well, I didn’t think he was a dumbass at the
time. But we broke up because he is, in fact, a dumbass. And a
cheater. Figure I might as well make some money while I sort this
shit out.”

“
That sucks, and I
understand completely.”

“
Wanna grab some
dinner?”

“
Let’s.”

We left the hostel room and returned
to the darkened streets. The crowd seemed to have swelled as night
hovered over the earth. It appeared the locals came here for the
concessions and games along the strand.

A tall Ferris wheel blinked bright in
the sky. On the ground, everything felt mildly damp and chilly. It
would only be worse at the top, and that decided me.

“
Have you been on
that?”

Sarah looked up, blinking against the
mist. “Not yet, but I’m game.”

We purchased our tickets and waited in
line for thirty minutes before climbing in. It took another ten
minutes before everyone else was loaded inside and the wheel began
to turn in earnest.

“
So what’s your story?”
she asked.

I thought about that while we circled
back down to the ground.

“
Kind of the same thing.
Hooked up with a guy for a while. Left him. Now I’m trying to
figure out what to do next.”

“
Asshole.”

“
Yeah. Except…I mean, yeah
he really is. By anyone’s standards, he’s an asshole.”

“
But…”

“
But nothing.”

“
You’re in
love.”

“
He’s a jerk. If I told
you everything he’s done, you would totally agree.”

“
You haven’t even told me
what he’s done and I already agree with you. But you love
him.”

“
He’s a
priest.”

That gave her pause. Then she shook
her head. “Doesn’t matter.”

“
Oh, I think that matters.
Plus other stuff. It’s just so frustrating. I want to go back to
the way things were before I found him.”

I frowned, thinking how terrified I’d
been that first night. Now here I was making friends in a hostel,
exploring a new place on my own. I didn’t have much of a plan or
much money, but neither did I have any fear.

My heart skipped a beat. No fear.
That’s what I’d been looking for, and I’d found it.

“
Well, it doesn’t matter
now. I don’t know where he is, so even if I wanted to find
him…”

“
Which you do.”

“
I can’t.”

She sighed, looking out over the
purple-and-blue-hued falls. “Well, I know exactly where my
boyfriend is. At our apartment with my friend. Who I only let stay
with us because she needed a place.”

“
That sucks. Big
time.”

“
So screw them,
right?”

“
Yeah.”

The word sounded hollow, and judging
by the look on her face, she knew it too. But she let me off the
hook, and we chatted pleasantly as we grabbed a greasy hamburger
from the strip and made fun of the wax statues in the window of the
museum.

“
I’d better head back,”
she said. “I’ve got that interview first thing in the
morning.”

“
Sure thing. Let me just
stop at my car to grab my bag.”

We headed through the thinning crowds
toward the hostel. I pulled the small bag of toiletries I’d packed
out of the backpack. Something caught my eye. Standing in the open
back door of the car, I looked up in the sky and saw an orange-ish
light streaking across the sky, like a rainbow but brighter
somehow.

“
Look at that.” I
pointed.

“
Oh yeah, I saw that last
night. I think it’s a lunar bow.”

The book had mentioned
those alongside rainbows but it didn’t have a picture. It was
beautiful, more striking than all the colors, I thought. Just one.
I felt a smile spread across my face. As silly as it was, I felt
like
this
was
what I’d come here to see. After all the official sites, the
gorgeous views, just a swash of orange across the sky. Bold, brash.
Everything that I wasn’t only a few weeks ago, but not
anymore.

I glanced to the side.

There was a large overfill lot meant
for people who visited with trailers and RVs. In that lot was a
familiar truck, and leaning against the side was Hunter. I couldn’t
be sure. His body was nondescript from this far away, his face in
the shadows. But it was him.

He didn’t move. He
wouldn’t
move.

I turned to Sarah. “I have something
kind of crazy to tell you. I’m going to leave now, but not in my
car. Do you want it?”

“
Uh, what?”

“
It’s okay if you don’t,
but it just sounded earlier like you might not have one. This car
is old and not even strictly street legal but it can get you where
you need to go.”

“
Is this some kind of
trick?”

“
Take it or leave
it.”

She raised her eyebrows. “Take
it.”

I tossed her the keys as I headed down
the trip. “Nice meeting you, Sarah. Good luck.”

She raised her hand in a tentative
wave. “You too.”

I wanted him to come to me. It wasn’t
just a pride thing. I needed to know that he wanted this too. I
needed him to need me too. Sure, I suspected, I hoped, but this was
put-up or shut-up time. This was putting everything on the line
just to see if it stuck. It was jumping off a cliff.

The streets thinned out right away.
Only the main strand had been crowded. I found the largest street
that would take me to the highway and just kept walking.

Twenty minutes later I saw headlights
illuminate the road beside me. I put my thumb into the air like I
was hitching a ride. The familiar squeak and rumble as the truck
slowed to a stop beside me.

The door opened and Hunter was there,
a grave expression on his face.

“
Where you headed?” he
asked, deceptively calm.

“
No place in
particular.”

“
Isn’t that usually the
point of hitching a ride, to get somewhere?”

I grinned, repeating his previous
sentiments back to him. “I like to travel. Sometimes I do jobs, but
in between them, I keep travelling.”

He paused, seeming to think that
over.

“
Well, hop in then,” he
said so softly I barely heard him.

I climbed into the truck and tossed my
bag in the back. Without looking at me, he started up the engine
and took us forward. Though I didn’t have a destination in mind, I
expected him to pull out onto the freeway. Instead he kept going
down Main Street past the turnoff.