Authors: Kelly Elliott
“What the fuck did you do to her Gunner?”
Wait…
…
W
hat??
I quickly stood up and turned to Jeff. “I didn’t do a damn thing! We fell asleep watching a movie and she just w
ok
e up crying out from a dream. She literally just w
ok
e up crying.”
I left out the part where she was crying out my name. I mean I was not in the mood to get my ass kicked for
hurting her in a fucking dream.
“Jefferson! Gunner has been nothing but a gentleman to me all day and night! I can’t even believe you would think he would do someth
ing to make me cry!”
Ellie
was sobbing even more now
. Jeff
lo
ok
ed at
Ellie
and back at me.
“Dude man, I know you would never, it’s just I walked in here and she
is crying and…..fuck.” Jeff
said as he knelt down at the edge of the sofa. I pushed the co
ffee table back out of the way.
“
Ellie
honey what is going on? Why are you so upset
? Is this about Ryan?” Jeff
asked as he moved to sit down next to
Ellie
on the sofa.
Ellie
’s face flew up to meet mine. She lo
ok
ed so confused and upset. My stomach was in my throat
and for some reason I felt like I was going to get sick
. I needed
to go outside and get some air.
“I’m going
to step outside a minute and get some fresh air.” I sai
d as I moved to the front door.
“NO!”
Ellie
shout
ed and stopped me in my tracks.
“This is
NOT
about Ryan, I haven’t
even thought about him
hardly
all day. It was just, it was just…
.
..I guess it was just a nightmare. I
…
.
.I…
.
.
really don’t even remember. I just remember waking up being scared that I was all alone and I lost…
.
.I lost…
.
..” She lo
ok
ed back up to me again and her tears started to flow
again
.
“What did
you lose honey?” Jeff
asked as he held a sobbing
Ellie
in his arms
.
She
was lo
ok
ing at me with such sad eyes. What the fuck was going on i
n her head.
“I don’t remember Jefferson. I just want to take a pain pill and go back to sleep. Maybe that is why I had the weird dream…it was the pain medicine.”
Ellie
said as she settled down a bit.
“Gunner, can you grab her medicine in the kitchen?” Jeff asked as he lo
ok
ed up at me with a sad lo
ok
on his face.
“Sure, no problem.”
I walked over and grabbed the old bottle of water I had bro
ught out earlier tonight
. I lo
ok
ed up and saw Jeff walking
Ellie
back to his bedroom. He was saying something to her that I could
n’
t make out. She just kept shaking her head in agreement. I would give my life to know what they were talking about.
Holy fuck…
..
.What the hell was she dreaming about? When I said I was going to step outside she
just
about freaked out.
Do I ask her what the dream was about? Maybe I should. I mean she was calling out my name after all. What if I was a prick in the dream? Now
I
needed to shake my head to clear my thoughts. I walked over to the sofa and grabbed the pillow and blanket I had brought out earlier. I started to walk back towards Jeff’s bedroom. I stopped
at the door
when I heard Jeff
’s voice talking slow and calm.
“
Ellie
, you
cannot
let something our
mother said to you when you were little dictate your
entire
life honey. It was bullshit. She is a miserable person who just wants those around her to be just as miserable. You DO deserve happiness honey and you will find it. Trust me.” Jefferson said as he
leaned down to give
Ellie
a kiss on the forehead.
A
surge o
f jealousy zipped through me. I would give anything to be
the one who was comforting her right now. FUCK…
…
I’
m jealous of my own best friend
?
The pain I was feeling because she was hu
rting was killing me. I just didn
’t
understand
it. I just meet this girl. How could I already
feel so protective of
her?
Jeff got up and started to head out of the room but not before he stopped and gave
me a slap on the back and wink.
“Hey, here is your pain pill and a fresh bottle of water
Ellie
.”
Ellie
lo
ok
ed over at me and gave me a smile that just about brought me to my knees
….again
.
Okay
…when were these feelings going to stop taking over me like this?
“Thank you so much Gunner. I’
m sorry; I don’t know what came over me when I w
ok
e up. Um……
did I sa
y anything while I was asleep?”
Shit, do I tell her what she called out or act like I didn’t hear her calling out my name. “Yes, sweetheart you did. You kept calling out my name and something abou
t someone being wrong but that’
s all you said.”
I watched her face as I told her what she had said in her sleep. She frowned and lo
ok
ed away towards the window.
“Oh…
.
..well, um
.
….. I’
m sure it was probably just because you had been so attentive this evening. I don’t really even remem
ber what I was dreaming about
so…
.
..” She lo
ok
ed back over at me and I swear I
saw tears building in her eyes.
Bullshit. I knew damn well she remembered her dream. Why wouldn’t she tell me? What the hell was she afraid of?
“Well,
it doesn’t
matter
Ellie
. You need to get some rest sweetheart. Do you need something to prop up your hand? Or need anything else?”
I asked her while I shuffled my
feet back and forth like I was five
year
s
old
again. She smiled at me and just sho
ok
her head no.
“Thank you again Gunne
r for everything but I think I’
m fine. I really do appreciate it. I’m sorry to keep you up so late at night. I’m just going to try and get back to sleep.
I am so glad seniors have off tomorrow!
”
She said with a giggle.
I walked over and turned off the side light. Well, um…
..
.good night
Ellie
.”
I turned and started towards the door. I turned one last time to see her close her eyes and pull her blanket up and tuck it under her chin. She was so adorable
……
and I was so fucked.
I walked out and saw Jeff sitting on the sofa holding one beer up to his lips taking a long drink and another
beer in his other hand.
“Must have been some date for you to bust out two of ‘
em
.” I said with a small laugh.
“This one is for you. I thought you might want one before heading off to bed.”
I reached over and
to
ok
the beer out of his hand and
sank down in the sofa and to
ok a drink
.
“I have to ask you Jeff, what the
fuck
did you
r
mother
say
to
Ellie.
”
“I always thought it was her s
tory to tell Gunner but I’
m beginning to think it has affected her more than I thought. When
she was seven
my mom was really drunk one night
. I wasn’
t home so
Ellie
was there to take the brunt of it. Funny thing was I was spending the night at a
friend’s
house which I NEVER did. I just had to get away from her.
I mean, I was always trying to get in be
tween her and
Ellie
. Protect
Ellie
from our
mom’s
hurtful words she lashed out all the fucking time. When I left she was sober……was not even drinking a drop of
alcohol
. I thought things would be
okay
. She talked about taking
Ellie
to the park even.
”
Jeff ran his hand through is hair and sp
ok
e something under his breath. I was pretty sure he had said fuck.
“
When I got home the next morning,
Ellie
was sitting in the corner of the kitchen…
.
..asleep. Still wearing the clothes she had
on
the day before. My mother was passed out at the kitchen table. I ran up to
Ellie
and as soon as she
woke up and
saw me…..she just started to cry. Started rambling off how our mother didn’t
want her
anymore
, how hungry she was, how
mommy told her no one would ever love
he
r
…
.
.ever
.”
Jeff stopped and put his head back on the
sofa. His body started shaking.
“FUCK! If I had only just stayed home
that night
, it would have never have happened and
Ellie
wouldn’t have this messed up idea in her head that she will never be good enough for a guy. She thinks her fate is
to be alone. Like my mother.”
Jeff to
ok
another swig of beer and lo
ok
ed at me. Tears filled his eyes and I was stunned. In the three years I had known this man I had never once saw him cry, even when he
got hurt on the football field.
“Jeff man you cannot possibly blame yourself
for
what your
mother did or said. You were ten
years old for Christ sakes. That is
not
your fault. You couldn’t save her from every little thing.” I said as a part of me just wanted to go and
have
a few words with their mother.
“Gunner, be patient with her. I see how she lo
ok
s at you and how you lo
ok
at her. I think she is confused by what she is feeling
for you
. She told me tonight she is scared, she said she is having feelings
for you she never felt for Ryan and she barely even
knows you.”
Holy shit my heart was pounding. She admitted to Jeff she had feelings for me?
Okay
, where do I go with this? I felt like I was about to get sick to my stomach so I to
ok
another drink of my beer.
“Gun
, I see the panic on your face dude!” Jeff
said with a small laugh.
“I’m so glad you think this is funny asshole.” I to
ok
the last swig of my beer and set it on the coffee table. Christ…how
did I even begin this with him?
“Jeff, I have these crazy feeling
s
for
Ellie
. I mean
shit;
I have NEVER felt
this way
before in my life. First I thought it was just because you know….it was your sister. You know….you want what you can’t have and all. I mean, I literally wanted to beat the shit
out of that boyfriend of hers five
minutes after I met her. I kept thinking I would do anything to take away her pain while sitting in the urgent care room. I have this insane desire to take care of her. What the fuck is this?” I said as I sat back on the sofa
and threw my hands into my air
.