Wanting It All (The Passion Series Book 1) (4 page)

He extends his arm to Bri, who smiles as she slips her hand into the crook of his elbow. After stopping to grab her small clutch purse on the bed, they walk silently down through the house and out to the garage to head out.   Markus takes time to set the alarm before assisting her into the car.

Brianna is surprised that Markus has decided to drive into the city in his prized possession - his brand new Porsche Cayman.  His everyday car is an Audi, and he rarely risks damage to his sports car in the city traffic.

The Porsche is so low to the ground that it feels like she’s sitting on the pavement as they drive away from the house.  Markus guns it, clearly enjoying the feel of the power as he speeds through their gated community. Sitting here in this car with her husband, driving away from the home they share, she feels the weight of her misgivings closing in. How could she risk losing the life she shares with this man just for some twisted moments with Jake? 

‘
Never again.  What I have with Markus is real.  He’s my future.  Jake is the past.’

“So where is this club you mentioned going to after dinner?” Bri asks as they speed towards the city. “Don’t get me wrong. I’m thrilled. But you don’t normally initiate a night out dancing. When we do go I always get the feeling it’s just to appease me.”

Markus guns the engine as he clears the on-ramp to the expressway, throwing them both back in their seats as they feel the power beneath them.  She glances sideways at her husband and smiles as she catches his look of joy.  

He answers without taking his eyes off the road. “I thought it would be something new for a change.  An old friend of mine owns the club and invited me awhile back.  I was waiting for the right occasion and well, tonight just seemed like the right time to try it out.”

“Well, I have to say this is a step up from Denny’s.”  Bri can’t contain a giggle.

“Hey, that was entirely your fault,” he laughs. “You picked it. I only went along with your choice.  No complaining now.”

Brianna decides now is a good entry point to open the delicate discussion with her husband.  “Markus. I’m not angry we went to Denny’s.”  She takes a break to find her words.  “In fact I’m not angry at all.  I guess… well…”

When she leaves her sentence hanging in the air, he glances her way with an unreadable expression.  “What is it Bri? Spit it out.” 

“I guess sometimes I just want you to, well, take the reins and… well, maybe control our relationship more.   I love that you always want to make me happy, but there are times, like last Friday, that I just wanted you to make the decision for me.” 

It takes her a moment to summon the courage to continue.  “In fact it’s not just about where we go to eat.  It’s about other things too.  I love that you just took charge tonight and made plans for us for dinner and dancing. I want to drink enough to get tipsy and then do some dirty dancing with you at the club and then when we get home tonight, I’d really love it if you would just take charge.  You know what I mean?”

Markus is back to staring at the road and an awkward silence invades the small car before he finally quietly asks a simple question. “Bri, are you happy being married to me?”

His question is so surprising she blurts out her answer more aggressively than she intended.  “Where the hell did that question come from?   I tell you I want you to be more authoritative and you turn it into thinking I’m not happy with our marriage?”  Before Markus can speak again she continues on with much more passion in her voice.  “I love you Markus.  I know I’m the luckiest woman on the face of the earth so don’t you ever think I’m not happy.  All I’m trying to say is that I’ve come to see you as two different people.  You’re this high-powered defense attorney who kicks ass and takes names all day, and then you come home and are this gentle teddy bear with me.  Most of the time I truly love how gentle and considerate you are, but I guess … well, there are just some times when I wish you’d come home as the kick ass attorney and let me see a bit more of that side of you too.  After all, it’s the first side of you that I fell in love with.”

“So what are you saying, Brianna?  I’m too nice and I need to treat you like shit?  Because honestly, if you could see me at work, you wouldn’t
want
me to bring that home. I can be a ruthless bastard. Just ask Georgie.” 

His voice is shaking with anger, and the mention of Georgie immediately throws a damper on the whole evening for Bri. 

“I can’t believe you’re bringing up your ex-wife,” she says quietly.

“I have to Brianna.  I had to learn my lesson the hard way. With Georgie, I brought my work home with me every day.  I was the same controlling person at home and at the office and trust me, it doesn’t make for a loving relationship.  I swore when I met you that I would never let that happen again.  I couldn’t risk losing you by being a controlling bastard like I am in the courtroom. I’ve learned to separate the parts of my life in a way that helps me know I’ll never hurt you.”  

After a few minutes of silence, Brianna decides she has to keep pushing.  “What really happened with Georgie, Markus?  You’ve never really told me why you got divorced.”

He takes a minute before finally answering, his mouth in a grim line and his eyes locked on the road ahead. “Let’s just say that losing her was the best thing that ever happened to me, not only because it gave me a chance to find you, but also because it taught me the price of being a totally arrogant asshole.  I’d become so successful so fast that I let it all go to my head.  I thought I was invincible, and I forced my will on anyone in my path, including Georgie.  You would never have put up with me for one day like I was back then, Bri.  Trust me. You want me to leave that Markus at the office.”

It feels like a small piece of the bigger puzzle that is Markus has just fallen into place for Brianna. When spending time with Markus’ family, they often hint at the 180-degree change in him since he met her, but they always refused to go into details.  She’d always assumed they were just surprised he could be so in love.  Now she understands it’s because marriage to her has changed him. For the first time, she begins to understand that his decision to create a whole new Markus - a more gentle and loving version of himself - was a conscience decision.

Instead of making her angry, it humbles Brianna that he could change so much just for her. But the irony of his sacrifice isn’t lost on her. As much as she hates to admit it, she still longs to see the side of Markus that Georgie could never accept.

e

The rest of the drive to the restaurant is a blur for Brianna.  They both seem caught up in their own thoughts, only sharing some small talk along the way. 

When they arrive at Hugo’s, Brianna is surprised that Markus hands over the keys to the valet to park his baby.  Thankfully, he comes to her side to help her out of the car.   In her three-inch fuck-me heels and tight little black dress, it’s all she can do to get out. Markus takes the opportunity to hold her close for a few seconds after helping Briana out of the low-slug car.  The look in his eye is unsettling and Bri suspects he’s still thinking about their discussion on the way here. 

Trying to lighten the mood, she stands on her tippy toes and pulls him down into a quick but satisfying kiss.  “Let’s go enjoy our dinner, Mr. Lambert.”  He quickly plasters a smile on his face and offers his arm to his wife.

Despite the crowd of waiting patrons hovering around the reception desk of the upscale restaurant, they are seated immediately.  It’s clear to Brianna that Markus must be a regular because the maître d’ greets him on sight and whisks them away to a candlelit circular booth in the back of the restaurant.  The location affords them privacy.  The waiter, David, is there almost immediately and greets Markus by name.  “Good evening, Mr. Lambert.  It’s nice to have you back with us again, and in the evening this time.”

“Hello again, David.  I decided I couldn’t keep Chef’s excellent food a secret from my wife any longer.  She has the right to enjoy Hugo’s too.”

“Well, this is an honor,” the waiter says with a nod of his head. “Welcome, Mrs. Lambert.  I’ll do my best to make sure your first visit with us is a good one.”

A wave of gratitude washes over Brianna, and she again admonishes herself internally for trying to make things more complicated than it needs to be in her storybook marriage. She tells herself she will learn to appreciate her husband instead letting her unreasonable sexual hang-ups destroy what they have.   . 

“Earth to Brianna.” Markus is squeezing her hand. “What would you like to drink, sweetheart?”

“Sorry,” she says. “I think I’ll have a Cosmo tonight, David.”

“Excellent choice, Mrs. Lambert.  I’ll be back with your drinks and some breadsticks in a bit.”

The first half of dinner flies by without incident.  The Cosmos are strong and by the third one, Bri is feeling tipsy.  Wanting to heat Markus up before they head out to dancing, she slides closer to him in the booth. As she enjoys her dinner, she slyly slides her left hand up and down his lap hidden under the table. She hears his sharp intake of breath and giggles as she feels his growing hardness straining against his pants.

“I see you’re getting as anxious as I am for some dirty dancing tonight at the club,” she says.  “You never mentioned where it is and who the friend is that owns it.”

It takes Markus a minute to respond as distracted as he is by her teasing strokes to his manhood.  “It’s only about fifteen minutes away and it’s no one you know.  He’s an old friend of mine from my fraternity in college.  We went a stretch there without seeing much of each other, but our paths have crossed more this past year.  I’m anxious for you to meet him tonight.”

“Oh, this is great.  Other than your old roommate, James, I haven’t met many of your friends from your time at Northwestern.  I’m excited to meet him.”

“Well, he’s been pressuring me to meet you too, so tonight’s the night.” 

Brianna smiles as she hears his heavy breathing as he tries to carry on their conversation despite his wife’s teasing.  Her strokes have become bold as they talk, but now Markus suddenly grabs her roaming hand and holds it tightly.  It looks like he’s actually angry at her at first, but then he calmly places her wayward hand back in her own lap. 

“Let’s save this for later tonight, shall we?” he says. “There’s going to be plenty of time for that kind of thing at the club.”

“Fine.  I can take a hint.”  Brianna winks and reaches for her purse.  “I’m afraid I can’t eat another bite.  I’m going to run to the little girl’s room.  Will you be a dear and order me a latte when David comes back?” 

She leans close to give her husband a quick kiss before sliding out of the booth and heading to the restroom to freshen up.  Just a few paces away from the table, she realizes she should have skipped the third Cosmo. She’s wobbly on her feet as she makes her way to the ladies room.

Brianna is gone less than ten minutes, but when she returns, she senses a change in atmosphere.  Markus has become distracted and is uncharacteristically engrossed in sending and receiving text messages. Brianna frowns; he usually scolds her for the same behavior but when she asks him if anything is wrong he tells her he’s just tying up loose ends from the case and there’s nothing to worry about. She spends the latter part of the meal watching him type on his phone.

By the time they head out of the restaurant, Brianna’s previous good mood has soured. Between being ignored by Markus and a three-Cosmos headache looming, she considers asking if they can just ditch the club and go home. She wonders now if Markus’ behavior during the last part of dinner was meant to make a point by showing her what life would be like if he remained “Work Markus” even in his off hours. She has to admit that after being used to having a h
undred percent of his attention; she wouldn’t like the change.

They make the drive to the club in an uneasy silence as Markus continues to check his phone at stoplights.  She can’t help but notice the neighborhoods they are passing through are getting more and more questionable.  She’d assumed they’d be heading to a club up near Rush and Division or perhaps in the upscale theatre district or near Navy Pier.  Instead, they’re heading to the seedier west side of downtown. 

Before she can question her husband, he turns the Porsche down a narrow, dark alley between two warehouse-like buildings.  From the street, the mostly brick buildings almost look abandoned, but upon closer inspection, Brianna notices that all of the street level windows have been blacked out, making it impossible to see inside.

Up ahead, she makes out an awning over a single side door to the right.  As they pull up in front of the shadowy, semi-lit steel door, she notices it’s not marked with any signage at all.  Just a street number is visible with a few letters. 
TPP 7969.
If it weren’t for the bulky bouncer standing guard at the door and the pounding music filtering out to the alley, Brianna would never suspect they were at a club.

The bouncer makes her nervous. He’s looking at her through the lightly tinted car window as if he’s going to devour her.  Brianna tears her eyes away from him to look at her husband.

“Markus, this is a very strange place for a club.  Are you really sure this is the right place?”

His eyes are watching her intently as he replies. “Oh yes, sweetheart.  This is the right place.”

“Well, I’m not so sure about this.  What kind of a club is this?”