Wanting Reed (Break Me) BOOK 2 (13 page)

The fact that she can move on so easily means she was prepared for me to fuck up. She knew that I would prove her worst fears, that I was trouble like she said I was. She still had up some of the walls around her heart with me. I guess I’m okay with that. I don’t think there was anything I could do or say with everything she went through with Cane. I don’t blame her. I guess any guy that comes after him is going to suffer like me with her fears and doubts about love. I hope the next dude... scratch that. I’m not going there. It makes me fucking angry. Who and what am I angry at anyway? Myself? Yeah, me. There’s no one else to blame for this, and I know it. The hard part about this whole thing is that she got to me in a way no other woman has. Right now I don’t think I could replace someone like her. Maybe over time, a long time, but not now. Shit. Maybe not ever.

After I close the door behind me and lock it, I’m ambushed by Sierra as I walk into the living room. She wraps her hands around my neck and firmly presses her body against me, causing me to back into the wall while she plants her hungry lips against mine.

“Hey, hey...” I chuckle. “Relax.” I clutch her by the arms and gently pull her off me. “There’s no need to be hasty.” I don’t know how I manage to sound so calm, but I do, even though I’m shaking like a leaf just being alone with this girl. It’s like I’m some damn, horny ass teenager about to have sex for the first time. God, a couple of months ago I was the one peeling off her clothes, and now I’m peeling her off me. Shit. This is all wrong.

“Come on,” she moans as she caresses my shoulder. She follows me to the couch where I sit down and put my head in my hands. “What’s wrong?” she probes. I look up and smile. She licks her lips and stares at me. “Do you remember what we did last time?”

“Hmm...” I close my eyes and play along. “Refresh my memory.”

“Okay,” she responds, but she’s quiet for too long. When I open my eyes, she’s shedding her top and her skirt is already at her ankles. She kicks it aside. It’s not the skirt that’s got me all bothered; it’s the fact she’s wearing red lingerie. Did I tell her that red is my favorite color? Oh, shit. Red. Fucking red. I’m instantly feeling it. I close my eyes, inhale deeply and then reopen my eyes. Bad idea. She straddles me with her hot breath blowing on my neck. She’s pawing me while tugging at the hem of my shirt and then roughly pulling it over my head. What the fuck? I grab her hips and feel her move above me. I’m fighting like a motherfucker not to just bang the shit out of her to release all my frustrations and tension. No strings. No fucking strings.

My mind goes blank as I press her down on me. She moans when she feels my dick and how it’s responding to her advances. I’m not sure I can stop myself in time. I think of Elle and what she’s doing right now, how that asshole had his hands on her, how her body moved against his and how he was touching her skin. Shit. I made her suffer, so I guess it’s only fair that I suffer. I just want to take in water like a boat and go under. No kicking. No treading water. Just sinking to the fucking bottom. The only problem is I’m already at the bottom.

Her warm lips find my neck, and her hands travel down my chest to the waist of my jeans where her fingers find the button. I don’t fight it. This feels so damn perfect. It’s been so long since I’ve had any physical contact. The last time was with Elle in this room, right here in this spot, on this couch. I’ve never had to think twice about what’s happening right now, whether or not to go full throttle with a more than willing woman. Yet, here I am debating, while there’s a half-naked chick sitting on me that’s eager to give me everything I want. My brain can’t let go and the thing in my chest that beats every second to keep me alive is splintering and stealing my breath from me because of her.

“What’s wrong?” she murmurs into my ear.

“Nothin’.” I lie, trying to figure out what I want to do. I feel her smooth skin under my hands as I clutch her waist and fingers when she tugs at my boxers.

“Are you being a tease tonight?” she whispers as her lips brush across my cheek and ghost over my lips. I bite my bottom lip because the physical need is taking over. I want those lips; I need what she’s offering. I’m okay with that. Am I? Why am I here like this?
Do it now! No! There’s the angel that’s been missing all this time, finally telling me to stop and there could be a chance.
I’ve never had a second chance before. I take that back. I did with Elle, and I blew it.

“Hey, I can’t do this all by myself,” she says as she puts her lips on mine.

“Sorry,” I speak over her lips as I pull her back and look at her. “I’ve got a bad headache. I think I drank too much.” She pouts and slides in next to me. She leans over to smooth her hair and adjusts her perky breasts inside her red bra. I bite my lip and look away, picturing Elle wearing that same bra and me pulling on her hair.
Fuck.
“I can’t do it tonight.”

She’s pissed I can tell. She thought there would be a second time. Shit. I’m not the same man anymore. She nods her head as I button my pants and ask her to get dressed. I’ve never had to do this before, but this is different and a lot has changed.

Since I’ve moved and classes have begun, no one has been to my new apartment apart from Tyler. I’m still trying to get used to having my own space and privacy. It’s liberating and strange, but I know I’ll learn to adapt and love my new life as an actual adult. No restraints.

My favorite room is the bathroom. It was completely remodeled before I moved in with shiny, tan marble floors, a stand-up shower and separate tub, large double sink and a small window that allows just enough soft, golden sunlight to filter through. I really love the fact that I don’t have to share it with anyone.

I finish tidying the living room, organize my books, put away all my dirty laundry and wash the last of my dishes before my guests arrive. I realize the one thing missing from my apartment is a dishwasher.

“Hey!” I hear Evelyn’s voice and impatient knocking on the door. “What is this, damn Fort Knox? Let us in already.” My dad added an extra lock on the door after I moved in. I thought it was cute, but a little over the top.

“Hold on a sec!” I yell from my bedroom as I slip on my black heels. I’m going a little casual tonight with a pair of dark blue skinny jeans and a black silk top. I teeter across the living room and unlatch the locks and swing open the door. Before I can get a hello out of my mouth, Mindy rushes past me.

“Where’s your bathroom? My stomach is feeling kind of funny.” She turns, frantically looking around the apartment.

“Down the hall to the left,” I reply as I watch her scurry down the hall in her skin-tight black skirt and black heels. I frown and turn to Evelyn. “What’s wrong with her? Is she going to last the night?”

“Of course, she is! It’s Mindy.” She laughs. “She said it was something she ate.”

“Are you sure she hasn’t started drinking?”

“Nope, she’s got a new bottle of already chilled Grey Goose in her bag though. We can open it in a minute.”

“She’s always prepared, isn’t she?” I chuckle. “Thank God we’re taking a cab,” I affirm.

“Absolutely. This is an equal opportunity night out. No one should have to miss out on all the fun. No DD’s, just these,” she says as she cups her breasts in her barely there sequined turquoise top. A couple minutes later, Mindy comes out of the bathroom, adjusting her skirt.

“Oh God,” I grimace as I turn to Mindy. “Are you all right?”

“Yeah, I think it’s a stomach bug or something.” She pulls out the bottle of vodka and points at the label with a devious grin. “You all ready for this?” she chirps as she makes her way to the kitchen. “Where are your glasses?”

“Hello, is anybody home?”

“The door is unlocked,” I answer, hearing Piper’s melodic voice as I follow Mindy into the kitchen. I pull out four shot glasses from the cabinet and set them onto the counter while Mindy twists off the cap on the bottle of vodka.

Piper saunters in sporting the rocker chick look. She’s wearing a frayed, white jean skirt that rests low on her waist with a short, black shirt that reveals a belly button piercing and a small tattoo of a dream catcher on her hip. Her tiny wrists are adorned with silver bangles, and she’s wearing her long, black silky hair in loose, sexy braids with her signature headband draped over her forehead. She has the most incredible gray eyes that are framed by long black lashes. She’s beautiful. I’m not sure her ethnicity, but I I’m pretty sure she’s part Native American.

“Holy chicklets! You’re hot!” Evelyn exclaims as she admires Piper walking across the room.

“Why, thank you. Among the four of us, I think we can burn down the Middle East. We’re definitely going to cause some trouble tonight.” She grins as she strides up to the counter and curls her hand around one of the glasses that Mindy is in the process of filling with vodka.

“Ahh… I like her already.” Mindy winks as she raises her glass. “To new friends and new adventures.”

After a brief introduction, we raise our glasses in unison. Careful not to spill any of the vodka, we throw back our shots at the same time. As we slam our glasses onto the counter, I instantly feel the burn as it travels down my throat. The other three go for their seconds while I delay my next round since I ate nothing for dinner.

“Great place by the way,” Evelyn says as she makes a sweep of my apartment. “I see a ton of house parties in the near future.” She picks up the second shot that Mindy pours for her.

“Not happening anytime soon with my class schedule.” I frown.

“Oh, shit. Are you always so uptight?” Piper smirks as she watches Mindy pour her another shot. “Because we can’t have that. You need to learn how to balance work and play. I can help you.” She raises her eyebrows along with her shot glass. “I’m telling you, we’ll make it work. Everything in moderation. A little pinch here,” she chants, gesturing with her finger, “and a little pinch there. You won’t feel a thing.”

“Oh, well that sounds promising.” I smirk.

“Trust me.” She winks as she throws her arm over my shoulder. “I treat my friends like gold and would never put them in harm’s way.”

I look over and smile, wondering what she experienced in her life to boast such a carefree attitude. Perhaps I should take more pointers from Evelyn, Mindy, and Piper. I could possibly take a little bit from each of their books and make it my own. Maybe life is not meant to be lived cautiously, but recklessly. Reed taught me that about love. Now, I need to experience it in life and hope my outcome is better.

“Quarters?” Piper offers as she sets down her empty shot glass and digs in her pocket, pulling out a quarter like she pulled a rabbit out of a magic hat.

“Seriously?”

“Fuck, Elle. Are you a fucking old lady?” she teases, positioning herself at the counter and eyeballing the shot glass in front of her. “I’ll go first,” she says mischievously as she rubs the quarter between her hands. “This is for you, Elle.”

I have a strange feeling she’s good at this game. When I hear the quarter hit the counter and make contact with the shot glass, I already know who’s been selected to take the drink and don’t even bother to look her way. Mindy pours as I wrap my hand around the glass and salute Piper for trying to get me effin drunk tonight.

“To fucking old ladies!” I grin, throwing back my head and swallowing the shot. I slam the glass onto the counter.

“That’s my girl!”

Wild
and
loud
are the first words that come to mind as we climb out of the cab that pulls up in front of the Middle East in Cambridge. We’ve arrived a little late, thanks to Mindy having another episode in the bathroom. She seriously needs to control her drinking. I wave away a cloud of smoke as we slither through a crowd that consists of jocks and preps along with a rougher crowd dressed in black leather and covered with numerous body piercings and tattoos. The atmosphere is both electric and exhilarating. I haven’t been to a place like this, and I have to say I like it and I’m glad I took Piper up on her offer to come out.

“Come on!” Piper yells as she bypasses the line toward the bouncer who’s sporting a lip ring with a numerous tattoos decorating his forearms. He pulls aside the velvet rope while raking his hungry eyes over all four of us.
Nice.
There’s nothing subtle or discreet about this guy. He’s rough around the edges, showcasing a long scar running from his right ear to the middle of his cheek. I notice a large Celtic cross tattooed on his bicep. He looks intimidating, but reminds me of a cuddly teddy bear.