War (34 page)

Well, everyone besides Jacob and Gwyneth. They haven’t moved. Wait…something’s wrong.

WINNIE

              He passes me the keys to our condo without me having asked for them.

              I was ready to come back to Boston after my conversation with Lola. Call me stupid but I love Jake. I do. And I miss him. I miss his smell. He always smells like soap and musk. No matter how often we wash his clothes, his scent remains through both the rinse and drying cycle. It’s the penalty of being a virile man.

I also miss his dick. Jake can fuck like none other. It’s always fun, and hot, and laughable and so damn serious and…there’s just no other man like Jake. Sex for love is great but sex for lust is better and I lust after Jacob. I lust after him as he walks out of the door to the office adjusting his tie, looking for his keys. I lust after him when we meet up for lunch; the mere thought of him having a booming ass law firm in a city filled with millions of lawyers is sexy to me. He’s special. He’s done something right.

He married me.

Let’s be honest, I helped Jake along the way. But he’ll admit that to anyone. “I have no shame in saying that I am who I am and I have what I have because of the woman I married,” he said over a toast a few years ago, at a family dinner. “And if I’m indebted to anyone, it’s the woman who birthed three Blairs; the person I can go to both Mass and bars with. What more could I ask for?” The entire table clinked their glasses together when he said that.

But the truth is that Jake and I help each other. I gave him my military circle, he gives me long nights in bed, four brown-eyed kids, the chance to forgo a nine-to-five and the last name Blair. That name pulls rank in this town. Rank that Yates just doesn’t pull.

Jake and I both need each other. 

I was getting all kinds of encouragement from Danielle and Lola for two days. I was seeing that there is life after infidelity, as I spoke with Lola. The theme of this weekend? Anything’s possible. Jacob could change. I could change. We could be a mature couple. It seemed that both of us were stuck in our twenties: him and his women, me and my partying. Maybe, if we both decided to grow up —not get boring, but to simply grow up—we could make this work.

So when his mom called me and told me that Malcolm and the kids were coming for dinner and that it would be nice for Danielle to come, I knew what she would eventually get at. She wanted me to come as well. I beat her to the chase. “I’ll come too,” I said to her.

              “Are you serious?” she asked.

              “I am. I’m ready to move on.”

              “Oh, God. Thank you, Winnie. Thank you. You have no idea how Jacob is…” she said nothing more.

              “How he’s what?” I asked.

              “Nothing,” she said quickly. “He’s just sad, given the circumstances.”

              Within an hour, Lola rallied Cadence and we were on a private flight back to Boston. Our trusty pilot, Jim, taking us home. I had a renewed resolve. So what if people called me stupid or desperate? Because I am. I’m stupid for Jacob Blair. I’m desperately in love with him. He’s my first love. He’s also a cheat. I’m also a party girl. Do people call him stupid when he’s picking me up from the chief’s office two weekends in a row? Do they call him stupid when he’s paying off the Cambridge police to drop the charges? His father is the mayor of Cambridge and he’s paying off the police to look the other way. Do you know how stupid that is? Do you know what his father would say if he knew that?
Leave her alone, Jake! You’ll ruin my career! What, are you stupid? Desperate?
I imagine Jake saying yes. So I came back to Boston to tell him that I’ll come back home and we can try this marriage thing again.

              But when I walked in the door, I knew something was wrong.

              As soon as he saw me, he got off the couch and slid Jaden in his father’s arms.

              “Can I talk to you for a second before you go?” he asked. I felt foolish telling him that I planned on staying.

              “What’s up?” I asked. He pulled me over to the side. I noticed he looked as gorgeous as always but his face was drained. His energy, that Jacob energy, was gone. His eyes met mine but they had a far-off look.

              “Are you alright?” Now I was getting concerned. “You look…stoned.” He shook his head as if to say he wasn’t. I know Jacob’s vice is women, not drugs, but at that moment, I wasn’t too sure. He looked…out of here.

              “You shouldn’t be living in someone else’s home with four kids. So I’m moving out of the condo and getting another one down the street. I actually have to meet up with my realtor now so I can’t stay for dinner. I tried to get a place in the building but there aren’t any for sale. And Aunt Angie uses Cadence’s place from time to time so I can’t stay there.”

              Aunt Angie walked through the door with Uncle Wynston and Malcolm. Jacob passed me the keys to our condo. I stood there with my hand open.

              “If you’ll allow me to have the kids for dinner, like I do now, and if I can bring them here for Sunday dinner with my family…” he drifted off. Damn, he looked exhausted. He stood waiting for me to answer. But I’ve got to admit, tears were starting to sting my eyes.

              Jacob wasn’t begging me to come back to him anymore.

              Immediately, I thought that I let things go on for too long. He had lost hope. He had moved on. He was thinking about trying out Jasmine, again. Both of their partners had left them. They now had each other. My face turned stone cold. How dare he, leave
me
.

              “And, since this week is Easter Break, I went ahead and booked tickets to Disney World. So, if you don’t have any plans for the kids, I’ll take them to Orlando. My father’s gonna come with me. I know you’re still pumping breast milk so I went ahead and ordered this service called Milk Maids. All you have to do is pump your milk in some storage bags—I went ahead and bought some, they’re in the condo on the kitchen counter—and they’ll come to the condo at nine each morning, put the bags in a freezer and transport them on one of their carriers overnight to the hotel. Trent told me about it. I guess the hospital uses them. Anyway, Jaden will be able to come with us, too.”

              He had this all planned out. He even consulted our brother-in-law, Trent, the doctor, for advice on how to become a single parent. Everyone knew that Jacob was leaving me.

              “Come along family, let us move into the kitchen to enjoy some
aperitifs
,” I hear Pammy say now. Everyone starts to head to the kitchen. I’m too stunned to move. For some reason, Angie is too. She looks like she’s seething as she slowly puts one foot in front of the other towards the kitchen.

              “Is that alright with you?” Jacob asks. Is it alright with me? Is it alright with me! You bastard!

              “No!” I scream out. He looks at me like I’ve lost my mind. “You fucking bastard!”

              “Winnie. Wait a minute-”

              “How dare you make decisions for our entire family, once again, and expect me to go with the fucking flow.” Within moments, Angie appears before us.

              “Jacob, Gwyneth? Is there discord?”

              “Winnie, I was just trying-”

              “What? To leave your goddamn family!” Now everyone’s standing in the kitchen doorway looking at us.

              “Oh, dear!” Angie says. “Looks like there’s trouble. Pammy, hurry and get a glass of water for Gwyneth.”

              “But everything was so-” Pammy begins.

              “Pammy, not now!” Angie screams. “Hurry! Winnie’s terribly upset!” Pammy runs into the kitchen for water.

              “Alright, come on,” Danny says as she steps in front of Angie and takes me by the arm.

              “I’m not going anywhere!” I yell out as she drags me away. “He’s a fucking bastard!”

              “Winnie,” Danielle whispers. “The kids.”

              “Oh, boy,” Angie says from behind me. “I’ve lost my appetite. I…I just can’t eat anymore.”

              “I don’t understand,” Pammy says as Danielle drags me into Preston’s study.

              “Not surprising,” Aunt Angie says to her. “It’s well past appetizer time. Everyone’s hungry…things happen when people get hungry.”

              Danielle shuts the door.

              “What the hell, Winnie?”

              “He’s leaving me.” She and I lock eyes. Mine fills with tears. “He gave me the condo.” I show her the keys. “He’s got a new one already.”

              “He said that?”

              “Yes, Danielle!”

              “Okay, calm down. Umm…” she starts pacing. “Let me think.” I hear the office door open. I turn to see Jacob and Malcolm entering the room. Jake’s eyes are red, Malcolm’s face is confused. The bleak face that Jacob wore when I walked in earlier is now replaced with a pained look.

              “What the fuck am I supposed to do?” he whispers to me, his voice choking. Malcolm gestures for Danielle to leave the room. “What the hell am I supposed to do, Gwyneth? Because I’m lost here. I’ve tried it all. What. Do. I. Do?” Danielle hurries out of the room with Malcolm. They silently shut the door behind them.

              “You know what I want you to do, Jacob?”

              “Just say it, Winnie. I’ll do it. Just fucking say it.” I watch him give a hard swallow.

Silence.

And we stare at each other.

Finally, I shake my head and then walk out of the office. Fuck the family dinner. Why do I have to tell this man how to love me? How to win me back? Fuck Jacob.

“Winnie…” he says after me.

              And suddenly my phone buzzes. I have a new incoming message.

MALCOLM

              I know it’s her before I even walk into the condo.

              “Ms. Harlow, I think you’ll agree that this condo is the best out of the five we’ve visited,” I hear a woman say.

              “I agree,” Jasmine says from another room. “How much?” Jake shoots a look over to me as we stand in the empty living room.

              “Seems like we walked in on another agent!” Jake’s real estate agent, Vance Frankfurt, says.

              “Shit,” Jake says to me under his breath. “Let’s get the fuck out of here.”

              “Vance,” I say. “Let’s give these other people some privacy and-”

              “Oh, hello.” Vance, Jake and I turn towards the voice of the real estate and see Jasmine standing there beside her. Now, I would expect that after two months of being gone, she’d look surprised to see Jacob. Maybe mad. Maybe wistful. But, no. She’s none of the above. You would think that she didn’t even know him.

              “Sorry about this, Nancy,” Vance says. “We were told to come here at eight.”

              “Oh, no, this was our fault,” Nancy says. “Ms. Harlow and I went over time; she wanted to see the view of the city at night. We’ll just get out of your way.”

              “Well, you don’t have to do that,” Vance says. “We can treat this like an open house.” He waves for Jacob and me to follow him. “We’ll start in the home office.”

              “Thanks, Vance.”

              This shit feels weird.
I’m
not the one who was fucking Jasmine, so why do I feel uncomfortable? And don’t Vance and Nancy know that Jasmine, Jacob and I know each other? I mean, come on. Everyone knows that we’re all in the same circle. Won’t this cool exchange between the three of us get people talking? Jake trusts Vance, but who the hell is Nancy? Vance owns his own small real estate firm. It’s not big but he doesn’t need the money. He’s a silver-spooner whose father was an army man. He’s known Jake for a while, Winnie even longer. So he can be trusted. But Nancy? What’s her family name? Who’s her mother? Her father? No, I need to say something.

              “Jasmine, Red’s been trying to get a hold of you,” I say with a smile. “When you’re done, give her a ring.”