War Torn Love (18 page)

             
Poppa was turned crimson - he was clinching his fist, and breathing rather deeply. I knew he was mad, and probably I had disappointed my parents. “Would you both please excuse me?” He got up and left from the table, left the room, headed on outside, slamming the door behind him. That did not help - we could still both hear him yelling. Neither Momma nor I said a word. I trembled - I had never seen him this mad before. I was so worried. In all this, knowing that Momma just had to be extremely angry with me, she kindly reached out and held onto my hand. She wouldn’t meet my eyes though.

             
Poppa still red faced walked back into the room, about five-minutes later. He sat down, took a deep breath, “Ok then young woman what of Abram - how could he have allowed such a sinful act to have taken place?”

“No, no Poppa you’ve got it all wrong. He had absolutely nothing to do with this, and trust me when I say this, he didn’t consent to me to do any of this either, when he return, he saw what I was doing, only after returning to me. He was shocked, to say the very least – and he acted quickly. He dressed me as quickly as possible, at shuffled me off at once - out of there - and brought me home safely. He was a perfect gentleman the whole time.” Poppa was having a very hard time controlling his anger. I was real worried!

             
“I just don’t understand what possessed you do that?”

             
“Well that girl last night wasn’t me - she was nothing like me.”

             
Poppa was calming back down, “ I understand it was more than likely the alcohol making you do this crazy thing - come to think of it, you really have never drank any measure of beer before, I guess that was my fault for not exposing you to such things before now.  Hana, I’m curious how did this make you feel, after you sobered up enough to realize what you had done?”

             
I started weeping, I was so ashamed, “Oh Poppa, Momma, I am so embarrassed and ashamed of myself. Then in all this mess, I thought about you, and what you were going to think of me, after you had found out. I know I disappointed you both, and I can hardly bear that. I also worried that I was going to lose Abram because of this.  I was not able to walk, halfway home I was violently sick, and threw up several times. Abram took me to a restraunt, and cleaned me up, and then he bought me some coffee to be try to sober me up. That is when I told him that I had brought him shame, and that I would have to understand if he did not want to still marry me. Poppa, Momma I could not believe it, he actually told me, “Hana it’s ok what had happened, because we all make mistakes at some time or another. I loved you unconditionally, first and for most that, I would have to be pretty shallow if he didn’t marry me over this one incident, wouldn’t you say?” He told me that we would get through this mutually, that I would not have to go through this alone. Poppa, Momma, you have to
know he insisted on me telling you both what had happened.”

             
Poppa said, “I guess I could learn a thing or two from him, he’s wise beyond his young years.”

             
“He did ask one other thing of me Poppa.”

             
Curious Poppa asked, “What’s that my child?”

             
“He asked me to maybe refrain from drinking alcohol in the future.”

             
That’s when I got a very unexpected reaction out of Poppa -when he surprised me when he began to laugh aloud, somewhat uncontrollably and his eye’s began watering. Then
Momma joined
in too, soon I was not able to resist any longer, I began laughing as well it all was kind of funny thinking back, though I wouldn’t want to do it again. I have to say I felt like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders.

             
Poppa said, “He’s right you know, from the sound of it, my sweet heart, you can’t hold your liquor, you’re defiantly your mothers daughter, just like your Momma, more than you’ll ever know, why on earth do you think she never has no more than a single glass of wine at one sitting.”

             
Momma said, “My child, I have my own wild story - oh I put your poor Poppa through a lot of grief. Poppa’s right, I guess you get that from me alright.”

 
             
Finally, he had stopped laughing. “Little bear, it must have taken you
an
awful lot of courage to have come and talked to your mother and I. Though you did
something
poorly
behaved, the way you handled yourself afterwards surely demonstrates that you realize what you have done. It also shows me that you are acting like a woman. I think after last night, a bad woman, but also a good woman, good-versus evil. It also showed that you have a lot of strength and true character to be willing to give up the love of your life, in order to, not bring shame upon him, or his family. You gave him the choice. That was a very unselfish act. You know sweetie, there is an old saying, “’Let your love go, and if they come back to you, then they certainly love you. If they do not return to you, then they never loved you.”’ You know you did this last night - a test, and look at what happened - Abram came back to you. He has demonstrated his true love and his measure as a man. He has also shown that he would stand behind you through anything.”

             
I had stopped laughing and was weeping once more.

             
“Come here Hanna!” Poppa said.

             
I got up out of my chair, Poppa stood up, and invited me into his open, loving arms to me - I gladly went into his arms, knowing by doing this that he was forgiving me. As his powerful arms tenderly closed in softly around me. My emotions let loose - now knowing it was going to be ok. “I’m so ashamed of myself I’m so sorry to you both, I’m sorry I brought disgrace to our family.  I just don’t know what I was thinking.” I felt so comfortable in Poppa’s
arms. Poppa has a way of
knowing
how to make me feel better.

             
“Little bear, remember we're family, so we shall get through this together, what comes of this, shall come, it is
God’s
will. The important thing to bear in mind is that you can try forgiving yourself. And please promise mother and me, for gosh sacks not to drink so much ever again.”

             
“Poppa, I give you my word, if this is what alcohol does to you, makes you act all funny, and feel horrible then you must trust me, I do not want any part of this ever again. That will be a promise easy for me to keep.”

             
“I love you my child, and as far as Abram is concerned in this particular matter, after what you have shared with me, I’m awfully proud of how he handled things, you have a good man there Hanna!”

             
“Thank you Poppa, I do don’t I! I am so happy you adore him. He makes me so happy!”

             
Momma then came over and gave me a hug. And kissed me on my forehead, “sweetie why don’t you go try lying down for a while, it will help you feel a little better to get some sleep.”

             
“Thank you Poppa. Momma I love that I can come to you both, and talk to you, thanks for everything, again I’m truly sorry!”

             
They both smiled at me as I left the room. I headed off upstairs, and fell asleep. My parents had the difficult task of explaining all this to Abram’s parents. Don’t worry
they did not hold it against me, as far as they were concerned I’m family, and family forgives one another. Abram had told them everything.

             
The next, few times I ran into certain boys on the streets -in town - I had received a few catcalls, but nothing much more, in part thanks to the simple, but true
-
enough fact they were afraid of what Abram would do if he was to find out. It was not long before it was all forgotten, just water under the bridge.

CHAPTER SEVEN

                                      
  
“I DO”

             
  I did my best to move on from the graduation nightmare incident - at least to my benefit no one mentions it around me. And I wasn’t about to bring it up. All though my groom had jokingly mentioned it, “I wouldn’t mind seeing you naked once more, especially after what I saw that night, I can’t stop thinking about you.”

             
“Good smart butt; don’t forget that, it won’t be much longer!”

             
I talked to my Momma about it, she surprised me, when I told him, “Oh sweetheart, once were married you can see it all you want!”  One thing my Momma taught me was, “never give the milk up for free. A women’s power is through sex.”  I did not fully understand yet, but I would.  She told me, “Once you’re married you need to hold this over your husband to get what you require. Let them think that there in charge, when in fact my dear it’s the women that end up ruling the roost. It just takes us wives a couple of years to learn this skill, refine it. See my dear, men’s ego is based on being in charge, just try and let them think that they have it. Do not try to win every argument - pick only the ones that are most important. To have a happy loving marriage, you need to remember these things - you also must remember to communicate with your husband, listen
to one another, take interest in what the other is interested in. Do not keep secrets, or lie to each other. Always have each other’s back. Have a good sex life - that is just as important for the wife as it is for the husband, don’t kid yourself on that one, you will understand one day soon. My daughter, these things are important to remember for a successful, happy, loving marriage. My dear having a man at your side is such a wondrous thing. Take your father for example; my life did not truly start until he came into my life.” She trailed off with a happy smile on her face.

             
I grew extremely embarrassed hearing about my parent’s sex life – even the hint of it made me cringe.  

             
She finished up, “These things I just told you, my own mother passed onto me just before my own wedding.”

             
“Thank you Momma! I’ll try and remember what you have shared with me.”

             
The whole family united in preparing for my wedding we began the daunting task of planning for the big day. My sister, Momma,
and Abram’s
mother, I think sometimes were more excited than even I was, if that was even humanly possible.